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Does an Affair Mean a Man Isn’t Happy in His Marriage?

  1. affairdetector profile image51
    affairdetectorposted 7 years ago

    Having a husband or boyfriend who cheated is a big hit to your self esteem.  You begin to doubt your marriage and your ability to make your husband happy or to be enough. And there are tons of old stereotypes which imply that if a man cheats, it’s because his wife doesn’t understand him, he’s not happy in his marriage, or his sex life at home is lacking??

    1. earnestshub profile image88
      earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      What I find amusing about these threads about men cheating, is who are they cheating with?
      Or is one woman going around screwing all the men?

      1. habee profile image90
        habeeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Lucky girl! Who is this busy bee-otch???

        1. profile image0
          Ghost32posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          lol

          1. earnestshub profile image88
            earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            I don't know who she is, but she sure gets around! lol

      2. profile image0
        Deborah Sextonposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        big_smile Eve is still around.

    2. Challah1202 profile image74
      Challah1202posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I think it means he's probably pretty happy, but he isn't someone to share family responsibilities with, raise children with or balance a check book with.  Maybe we put way too much emphasis on "being happy."

      1. TamCor profile image79
        TamCorposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        You can never put too much emphasis on being happy...smile


        Tammy

        1. TamCor profile image79
          TamCorposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Oh, and if you're really truly happy--you don't WANT to cheat...husband or wife!

          Tammy

    3. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Could be!  There's also the possibility that he's simply a jerk.

      1. Marisa Wright profile image94
        Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I don't often agree with you Brenda, but you're dead right this time!

        The only reason a man (or a woman) has for cheating is that they're too much of a coward to do anything else.

    4. pisean282311 profile image58
      pisean282311posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      could be but that doesnot mean that woman is responsible always...man might have himself created a situation for unhappy marriage and then started looking out...why it can't be that way too??

    5. profile image0
      Deborah Sextonposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      As Mallory stated "Because it's there" of course this was referring to Mt. Everest, but anyway..same scenario.

  2. KCC Big Country profile image84
    KCC Big Countryposted 7 years ago

    There are probably as many excuses for cheating as there are women to cheat with (same goes for women cheating on men).

  3. habee profile image90
    habeeposted 7 years ago

    Affairdetector, I know men who truly love their wives and still cheat occasionally when they get the chance. It's called sport f@#$ing! Sorry, but that's what many of them call it. I learned that term from another hubber years ago, and it's aprapos. And it's not just the men who do it - married women do it, too.

    1. earnestshub profile image88
      earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      How else would it work! smile

    2. profile image0
      Deborah Sextonposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      If they TRULY love their wives, they put themselves in her place and don't cheat.
      If intimacy is present between a husband and wife neither will cheat.

  4. habee profile image90
    habeeposted 7 years ago

    Well, Earnest, some women think married men only run around with single women. You know - the ones they call "hoes."

    1. earnestshub profile image88
      earnestshubposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      That makes sense Habee!
      The thing is, are there a shortage of married women to do it with? Are they all faithful?
      I find this sort of thread very sexist. smile

  5. Rozzy88 profile image60
    Rozzy88posted 7 years ago

    I don't believe that someone cheats when they are completely happy in their relationship. I do not believe that cheating is alright to do, under any circumstances. Now, I have worn both the shoes of the "cheater" and the "cheated". Both are bad spots to be in. I cheated on my ex-boyfried. He had a violent temper. I can honestly say I cheated on him because I was extremely unhappy in my relationship and was scared of what would happen to me if I attempted to break up with him. However, with that said, cheating still wasn't the right way to handle it. At the time, I made excuses for myself to justify why my infidelity was "a different circumstance" and that it was "ok". But, looking back, I realize, it was no different, and not ok to do. It was very wrong for me cheat on him, when there were alternative ways for me to break it off, and still ensure my personal protection. Cheating is cheating, no matter how you want to break it down. People stray for reasons. Some examples could be: the love they shared just isn't the same, the sex isn't "new and exciting", there is no sex, the relationship is in a rut (this may be only the cheater's perception), or, maybe the person you're with is, really, just "cold-hearted" and doesn't care. Either way, there is a reason people cheat. Sometimes this matter can be resolved with simple communication, and sometimes, the relationship is just to broken to be fixed. In the end, the one who strays isn't entirely happy with the way the relationship is going.

  6. shazwellyn profile image84
    shazwellynposted 7 years ago

    Whether you are a cheating woman or man, cheating indicates that a need is not being fulfilled.  Happiness comes from the self.  No one can make someone happy, they have to do that themselves!

    Marriages have their dips and highs, needs change and with that so can the marriage.

    It is very easy to judge others when it comes to their actions.  However, everyone has their reasons for behaving in the way that they do, whether it is deemed socially acceptable or not, they justify these actions within their individual psyche.

  7. stephensaldana profile image61
    stephensaldanaposted 7 years ago

    Well, it depends up on the situation....Men indulge in an affair when he isn't happy from his married life of curse especially from sexual life and moreover from routine fights..

  8. Antecessor profile image82
    Antecessorposted 7 years ago

    Nothing wrong with cheating I say, as long as its just physical sex. Sex is just a fun activity, a recreation.

    1. profile image0
      JeanMeriamposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Yes nothing like the good old fun of bringing an STI home to the spouse. Especially if you get a really good one like HIV or Hep C so you can pass it on to the next generation too.

  9. brethodge profile image61
    brethodgeposted 7 years ago

    Men do extra marital affiar because they seek love in their married life and when they do not get that they try to find it outside in other women. and when tehy get taht love with someone else they have an affair.. it is as simple as that..

    1. Antecessor profile image82
      Antecessorposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Not true, Why do married men go to prostitutes? For love?!!!

      Of course not.

      Cheating for men (and most women) is for sexual pleasure.

    2. shazwellyn profile image84
      shazwellynposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      This is the same for women too!

  10. theirishobserver. profile image61
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    The only married people I have ever had affairs with were women so cant help smile

    1. shazwellyn profile image84
      shazwellynposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      LOL big_smile

  11. theirishobserver. profile image61
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    hello shaz smile

    1. shazwellyn profile image84
      shazwellynposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Hello my affair! lol (Just joking!)

  12. cupid51 profile image47
    cupid51posted 7 years ago

    Happiness is a comparative term. A couple may feel happy in their relationship until the situation is compared with a better situation.
    It is natural for all human being that they are attracted to the thing or person or a relationship which is forbidden to them.
    But as we are all social animal we must follow the rules and regulation of the society to maintain the discipline.

  13. profile image0
    ralwusposted 7 years ago

    When I’m good, I’m very, very good. When I’m bad, I’m better.

  14. profile image0
    ralwusposted 7 years ago

    A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

  15. theirishobserver. profile image61
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    stop joking and get serious I cant wait forever smile

  16. Greek One profile image79
    Greek Oneposted 7 years ago

    I don't believe in sex after marriage... with or without one's spouse

    1. profile image0
      Deborah Sextonposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Oh, I'm sorry.

      1. Greek One profile image79
        Greek Oneposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        please.. no begging.. no means no

        lol

  17. sandylongman profile image80
    sandylongmanposted 7 years ago

    I think some men no matter how good the woman is, they are lacking something within themselves. It starts with the person in the mirror and communication. If your not happy communicate it or work on it. So many people think the grass is greener on the other side. Guess what? The grass needs care so does any relationship.

  18. desperatejourna profile image60
    desperatejournaposted 6 years ago

    A cheating man is not necessarily unhappy about his marriage, it boils down to him wanting to be happier.

  19. aware profile image71
    awareposted 6 years ago

    no

     
    working