Get over the past and open the door to your future

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   marquita37posted 13 years ago

   We have all experienced deep traumatizing hurt at some point in our lives. Some of us have been so scared by our past that we subconsciously sabotage our future. Mis-trust, insecurity, low self esteem and committment issues are just a few examples of the end result of our hurtful past experiences. Painful experiences that affect our relationships are not just from that man or women that cheated, abused or deceived us. They also come from that absent parent that was never there for us or only came around every once in a while then vanished back into thin air. Regardless where our pain stems from we must first identify it, then analyze how it hurt us and why. Once we pin point the source we need to make peace with it, by confronting the person that hurt us, write it in a letter then burn it up or make it a novel. The main thing is to release it! Choose the best method for you and get those feelings out of your mind and off your chest. If possible get that persons point of view and find out why they behaved as they did let them know how it affected you then let it go! We have to release our past if we want to have the ability to enbrace our future with a clear mind and an open heart. Don't miss out on finding the love of your life because you're too focused on what the last person did or didn't do. Be fair and judge each individual based off of your experience with him/her and not your experience with others. Because only then can God send true love into your life.

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      donotfearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This should definitely be a Hub!

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   goldenpathposted 13 years ago

   True!  Faith is a principle of power and of action.  One cannot foster true faith without the striving toward a brighter future.

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3. 60

   archdawposted 13 years ago

   I agree.  That's why I joined Hub Pages. To get the bad out of my life and to start enjoying the good.  It is easier said than done, but I am making great strides in this, by writing about my life.  I agree it is rather late in my life, but "Better late than never."

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   alternate poetposted 13 years ago

   I agree.  get over the past (the idea of a god that will solve all your problems) and live life yourself, responsible for yourself and others for the human beings they are, not because of the myths of the past.

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      Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Ai-ya the atheists are tiresome. Isn't it possible to chase your own tail in silence? Maybe put a tag on your profile so everyone will know and you won't feel obligated to announce it every other freakin' minute?

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         SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         mornin' - LOL
         
         
         i'm a peaceful, lovin' Canadian who says 'better days and higher love are comin' soon'

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            Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Well let's get on with it then!

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         Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Aww - TK sensei - it really upsets you when people show their education doesn't it?
         
         Poor, poor you.

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5. 61

   saltposted 13 years ago

   thankyou, thats about where I am right now. I have been upset by something, yet I cant seem to let go of the hurt or the person so far.
   
   I wish him well, yet am still upset. I suppose I am seeing it from a legalistic perspective. Ive been hit before though, and I walked away and my life fell to peices. I suppose Im feeling scared about trying to pick things up again.
   
   I suppose too, that I used to get over things quickly and move on. Having changed my lifestyle for someone seems to have changed the way I react or respond. I am really unsure what decisions to make right now.
   
   thanks for your posting. It does help.

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      DevLinposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately, like you said, you've done it before. That means you have the inner strength to get past the stupidity of others. Just avoid generalizing all others as the same, and happiness will find you again, as long as you stay yourself.
      
      I actually improved myself after having the same experience from a woman. Hang in there.

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   TMMasonposted 13 years ago

   I know many a person who has lived a long, peaceful life of helping and service to others.
   
   And I know many an Athiest who spends thier life biting and sniping, empty... alone, without a God.
   
   So I don't think one is mutually exclusive to the other.
   
   Thats to simple.

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7. 82

   timorousposted 13 years ago

   It does no good holding a grudge, it only causes endless stress.  You need to let it go.  Writing about it is a great way, even if you don't intend to let anyone else see it.
   
   I'm currently working on a hub about my adventures with a house mate, which eventually became a bit acrimonious.  I think you'll find it interesting.  Stay tuned...
   
   Letting go is so uplifting and a wonderful release.  You can relax again, and move on with your life.

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      donotfearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      This is so true.  You know, I wish we came equipped with an ON/OFF switch so we could turn off the hurt feelings, the rejection, the feelings of betrayal. But we can't, we deny them, they keep coming back, so we deal with it. Some turn it inward, some act out in self destructive behaviors, others can go on without a scar. Why? Because we're wired differently and have varying childhood influences that affect how we react to loss of a love.
      
      I finally found a way to assist my mind with 'letting go'. Though it's difficult to master, it helps so much.  Especially when my nature was to hang on to the hurt thing and feel miserable, even though I wanted it to leave!!  Anyhow, here's a suggestion:
      
      The emotional harm that's been done to you, whether you've been dumped for no apparant reason, relationship ended unexpectedly, divorce, etc. has disappointment chained to it. That disappointment keeps the 'person' who hurt you chained to you. It also holds us in bondage to the "hurt thing".  Envision youself standing outside a huge shadow....you on the outside....the person who hurt you on the inside. Look at the person, feel the person inside your heart, embrace the sadness, see it for what it is. Now, look up & see the person for who they REALLY are (either good, bad, whatever). The chain is connecting you.....reach up and cut the chain (heavy duty wire clippers will do). Watch it fall. See yourself on the outside of the shadow, the 'hurt thing' on the inside. Feel it. Experience it. Stand on the OUTSIDE. Close your eyes, turn & walk away. Look back once, see "it" for it's truth. You are CHOOSING to release it. A sense of relief floods you. It is what it is, you are whole, you made the choice.
      
      Okay, this should be a hub!, But I'm telling you it worked for me after 50 years of dealing with crap that hurt me. Also a weekly support group. Hope this wasn't too lengthy....anyone who wants to email me feel free to do so.

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   Kerkedijkposted 13 years ago

   I think once you make the decision to change your life, to stop suffering, there is instant relief and a sense of moving forward takes place and the healing begins. Regards Keredijk

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   ladiietiaposted 13 years ago

   thanks for advice... think im going to put it into effect a.s.a.p.... people say you just have let go and move on but no one really understands how hard that actually is...
   
   love and peace

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    timorousposted 13 years ago

    It's only as hard as you make it.  You have to learn to not put any undue importance on things that happen.  Just live in the moment...let the past be the transitory event it is.  Just accept the events for what they are rather than suppress and hold onto what went wrong.  Move on.

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    Joy56posted 13 years ago

    some people find this hard to do, and keep snatching the past back,,,,,,  We have to keep reminding ourselves to keep going forward..... Learn from the past then move on....

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       Cracknutcaseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Its been almost 4yrs since I got ditched by the first guy i loved  and now he does seem to be the last too.. I can't seem to move on no matter what I say or do! Its not that I want him back but just that I dont have it in me to love any other man. I don't wanna beg him to return back to me coz he is certainly not worth it yet I can't let go of him completely.. I Cant imagine anyone else in his place. I try to forget it all and just then the memories keep coming back to me to torture the crap out of me making it impossible to let go..
       
       If letting go was as easy as it sounds maybe we wouldnt have to feel this excruciating,never ending pain!!!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    am just dying to discuss hurtful past relationships.  really am.  just that I don't have to.  So haha  nya nya nya nyanya! so there. plus who has time anymore to relive all the hurt, the pain, the terror, the draconian measures taken to prevent writers from writing "out of hand" things.  So no.  won't.  can't possibly.
    
    well, yes, there was one time when I was told to stop.  and should have stopped. and I probably did stop.  for awhile, but then, m f ging ers wldn't y'know? stop!  stop!  stop!
    
    and then there was
    
    *tinythud*

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13. 61

    joleenruffinposted 13 years ago

    I think your idea to write a novel about it is a great one. Imagine if you write a really good one and make tons of money in the process. That would feel really good. I have been thinking about doing that. What's the proverb about "heap burning coals on his head."

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14. 0

    BIKTMIAposted 13 years ago

    If you live in the past , then you never move forward if your Jesus don't do nothing wrong because sure enough somebody is going to tell it to you. What you did wrong , when and how many times. Always remember your human and you where and you still will be in the future.

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    BIKTMIAposted 13 years ago

    Can you imagine that someone would actually be happy about your being poor in life, I really just am mind bottled. Happy about the misfortune of another, who probably had they not met you their life would have been great. Choices , life , had a you not been a factor a nightmare could have been avoided. For the future I have kept in mind that about life as the past happened as it did some in my control and not. Had I not met you , then many things would not have occurred and on the flip side because I did meet you many blessings did occur. Poor, rich at heart because of morality of the inward me the me I am the now.  You hate because of being done wrong by someone and you can remember that wow, had I not met you there would not have been a problem. Wow because I met you , the blessing was a wonderful friend.

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