Men don't wait for intimacy

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   insanebutrightposted 13 years ago

   Here's the deal.
   
   For the women who withhold intimacy to see if the guy will respect you for "who you are" instead of as an 'intimacy object' which he can then seek from other girls once he gets it from you...
   
   How is he going to respect you for 'who you are' when you withhold intimacy?
   
   No matter your accomplishments or your charity work or your help with things in his life, if you're not taking care of his primary need - intimacy - you've made yourself look unloving from the start DESPITE your other acts.
   
   And women think they are "more intelligent" creatures..
   
   So yes, please, answer my question.

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      Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hehehehe  okay, I will.
      
      Intimacy does not equal sex.  I will give a man intimacy easily, but not sex.  Intimacy is sharing your inner being, sex is sharing your sexual self.  Men aren't interested in getting to know the inner being of women - all men are interseted in is Sex.

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         dracaslairposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         thats a very good answer.i like that one.

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         formerbronxboyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Raf, Good one, keep it up. Oops!

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         shfiguyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Sex is a bi-product of intimacy and they are not two separate things. they walk hand in hand. You would be surprised as to how many men open their heart and soul and thus providing all the ingredients of intimacy while the woman holds back the very things that would compliment an intimate relationship. For you to make the statement you did especially in a generality is irresponsible.

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      Hauntyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      How are these two things related?

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      ceciliabeltranposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      Who's the bitch?
      
      just kidding. Seriously, the woman is designed by nature to withhold. The emotional and physical investment is so great, we have to see who is really really interested. In the age of easy sex, the only thing a woman can withhold is her heart nowadays. In this way, men who are truly interested would persist despite being rejected in ways that they don't know they would put up with. Got you thinking about it, right. That is how women worm their way into your commitment mode.

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2. 77

   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   This is only going to be a problem with very, very shallow men.  So it's really not a problem for a woman who wants anything more than animal mating herself.  Any man who doesn't "respect" her because she didn't drop trow the second he scratched his ape crotch at her is hardly a loss.

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      dracaslairposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      i like your answer.

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      blondepoetposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Oh Shades you are the man!!!!!!
      Too right. I am not going to pop my titties out at the drop of a hat so to speak just because it seems to be expected from me.
      I value my body and I am selective who I give it too. (Been there done that)...
      It has to be my choice who I give it up to...
      Mind you if I am in a relationship I don't withold sex from my partner to peeve him off..I don't believe in that either....
      Normally it is the other way around, he is too tired cos I have worn the poor bloke out haha.
      If a guy wants to dump me when we have been on a few dates and I won't give it up, he can take a hike he wasn't worth it any-way.
      
      

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         formerbronxboyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Blondie, That sounds perfectly normal.

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   torimariposted 13 years ago

   Intimacy is one thing. Sex is another.
   
   If a man can't wait a few dates, than yes, he can find a woman who is more casual or just wants mainly a sexual relationship too.
   
   A man like that is not ready or does not want a committed relationship in my eyes. And, if he does, that is not the best way to go about it. If he wanted a relationship more than casual, he would want to gradually get to know the woman rather than pressure her for sex which will give US the wrong impression.
   
   I'm sorry women aren't putting out for you quick enough. There are plenty who will. Maybe there is something wrong with you. Just too intelligent.

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      insanebutrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      "If he wanted a relationship more than casual, he would want to gradually get to know the woman rather than pressure her for sex which will give US the wrong impression."
      
      Yeah, and developing that relationship and putting a ring on your finger still does not change your attitude about him. married women still ask guys "do you love me for me, or for what I DO FOR YOU?"  showing that they still feel disrespected even when in a relationship. Women STILL have the rotten attitude even with a relationship, so don't feed me that line.
      
      A woman saying "do you respect me for me or for what I do for you" is an attempt to separate behavior from her person, as if she shouldn't have to do ANYTHING to earn man's respect. Iinstead, you turn it around so he must earn it from you. Interesting concept.

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      dracaslairposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      good answer i like it

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4. 58

   insanebutrightposted 13 years ago

   "Any man who doesn't "respect" her because she didn't drop trow the second he scratched his ape crotch at her is hardly a loss."
   
   And that shows women's attitude towards man's biological need, yet she expects us to see her as loving. If she's not loving, he can't respect her 'for who she is.'

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      Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I have terrible news for you, dude: that's thinking, civilized, caring man's attitude towards barbaric, unthinking, egotistical man's unregulated base, animal urges.
      
      And, in that case, she doesn't care if he respects her or not. He is as beneath her consideration as is a snake or rutting pig. She simply doesn't care what he thinks of her.

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         Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Well said.

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         insanebutrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         "I have terrible news for you, dude: that's thinking, civilized, caring man's attitude towards barbaric, unthinking, egotistical man's unregulated base, animal urges....He is as beneath her consideration as is a snake or rutting pig."
         
         I dare you to tell your son that his sexual needs are barbaric and evil.
         
         Maybe you are wrong. Perhaps your attitude to it, that it is crude and evil, that it is not a need that should be met,  MAKES man evil and do evil things. I don't think men would be raping women if their woman cared about his "crude, barbaric" need, as you put it.  YOU are the crude and barbaric one, creating murderous rapists on your female travellers.
         
         Then you go and lick an icecream cone while watching him get incarcerated on the evening news and fry in an electric chair, telling him "you cannot solve your problems with me in bed."
         
         All because you don't like to have to DO something to earn his respect: meet his need. You'd prefer he do something for you and meet a need of YOUR'S, when you have no need but to not have to earn respect. That IS your emotional need.

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5. 77

   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   I smell a troll here  But I'll go one more round before I take off for a while just to amuse myself.
   
   
   Any sex that is compulsory or done with someone for whom there is no actual attraction, is animal and barbaric. To expect a woman to care about some dipstick's "need" without having already developed an attachment to him is just lame. (Which is why you have to be a troll, because nobody could possibly actually think this.)
   
   
   You've made a swiping generalization about women, a totally ridiculous one, and one that proves you not only don't know how women work, you don't know how men work either.
   
   
   A) I'm male.
   B) "female species" ???  lol.  Dude, sometimes its best to stop talking.  Watching you make this argument is like watching a burning monkey trying to put itself out with an icepick.
   
   Well, as I suspect the concept of mutual respect is completely beyond you, I'll just say that this argument sounds like something a guy who can't get chicks would say.
   
     Ah, well, glad we cleared that up.

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      insanebutrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      "Any sex that is compulsory or done with someone for whom there is no actual attraction, is animal and barbaric."
      
      Who said that she didn't get to know the guy first? Who said she's not attracted? I never once said that. My point still stands.

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      

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      Milla Mahnoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That's my impression, too. Poor thing...

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   SpiritLeoposted 13 years ago

   Yeah! Really Funny!!!

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      insanebutrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That's right. Keep your spirits up.
      Men are dying everyday from the abuse you give them.
      Neglecting their need leads to suicide, pills, etc etc.
      Got to keep that positive attitude going...else the implications of your actions would weigh too heavy.

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7. 82

   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   Are we talking about an established relationship here?  lol  If we are, then a woman withholding intimacy is telling the man in her life he'd better shape up or she's outta there!
   
   If the woman is withholding Sex she is telling the man any number of things - it's not the right time of the month, she doesn't feel well, she had a bad day, the man in her life doesn't satisfy her, (Oh!  Did I really say that?? lol) - the man in her life needs to be less selfish, or she's angry with the man in her life and that needs to be cleared up first.
   
   So, the question really is:  Do you know what it means to respect a woman for who she is?

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      insanebutrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Aside from those points, you didn't  talk about the women who say to their husband "Do you love me for me, or for what I do for you?"
      Those women tie into my point, and it is the same atittude women have on the dating field.

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         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Ok - these women are probably feeling taken advantage of, like they are being treated as a sexual object instead of a human being.  The question returns:  What does it mean to respect a woman for who she is?

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      dracaslairposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      i like your stuff.iv been throu abuse as a teen.and i havent been able to connect with a man all that well.i turned dow a lot of dates lately.the way i see it way date if you cant handle the "sex"of a realtionship.so i built a wall and dont date.

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         blondepoetposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I hope one day the right man comes along, and you can let down the walls, to allow love in, everyone deserves it. I was abused badly too, but I have managed to let down those walls and allow myself to love and be loved, I deserve it and so do you.

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            insanebutrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I think any man who wants their woman to put out, is considered abusive, even if the sex isn't cruel and abusive.
            
            Just the fact he can only love her if she's DOING something for him, is abusive. That is the point of my post. Women don't have to see it as abusive.

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               Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               So you want to ask this question of women to find out what women think and want?  (just trying to understand the reason behind the OP)
               
               What does it mean to respect a woman for who she is?

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         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         the first step toward resolving a problem is acknowledging a problem.  The next step is seeking help for the problem - being able to give and receive love is a good reason to seek help.

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