oh yea advice - be best friends, lovers, all of those good things...and if you can make it through the bad times..most times it'll make you stronger together....my marriage didn't make it through the toughest time of my life...it's complicated.
........and never go to bed without resolving issues.....the small stuff that can become bigger the next day because you didn't get rid of it the night before......unless of course it is some major thing that can't be resolved over nite.
(my def. of small stuff will vary from some others however)
I think the number of times and the length of time for marriage are irrelevent. But I do agree with Justine - make sure you truly know the person before you get married, and be realistic enough to be honest with yourself and the person you think you want to marry.
Twice for me. A total of 24 years. 23 the first time and 1 yr the second. I've learned you have to be the answer instead of looking into others to find it.When you become the answer, you attract someone like you. Then you can give each other the gift of self, without a lot of demands and drama.
I'm still working on being the answer to my own happiness, problems, etc. But I feel better overall about most things. There are good people in my life. The toxic ones are disappearing. They've finally gotten tired of their demands falling on deaf ears.
My advice: One should not get married too young...or in a reckless moment. Though when you're in love and feelings run high, it all feels so 'right' then that there is just no stopping you!
You are just not the same person in your 30s, that you are in your 20s...so it's wise to at least wait till your personality is slightly more mature....and you're surer of who you are - let alone the person you're about to marry!
Lol MOW, I wish my parents read this. lol I would never get married in my early twenties.
Coming to the thread topic, married once and will stick with this guy till death do us apart.
My piece of advice- Life is never a bed of roses, try not to search perfection and you will end up happy. Nobody is perfect, fill in for one anothers imperfections and you will have a smooth sailing all along.
married once, but were really close friends for five years before hand. it's definitely helped our relationship. advice? how would you treat your best friend? if this is the person you plan on staying with til death do you part...then respect and communication will get you far.
Married once, for 34 years following a 45 day courtship.
Advice - not much except a married couple is a COUPLE, not two married singles. Hurting a spouse, through words or actions is like spanking a child - it hurts you more than the child. The couple cannot he happy if one is unhappy with a decision - if you win an argument you just lost it. A couple is one person with two bodies; if you don't want that don't get married.
Not to say couples cannot have different likes. I sit with my spouse and watch the dumb movies she likes; I enjoy the time with her. She does the same for me. We learned to compromise on everything - seldom indeed does one get everything they want. Be willing to change, but never demand it of your spouse.
Marriage is a learning experience; to survive both parties must learn to please the other more than themselves. Having a soulmate for life is the most rewarding thing possible, but it does take effort.
Once for about 15 years. There are a lot of broken men out there, hideous things experienced by little boys will show up eventually. Make sure the guy can talk about his childhood and other life experiences that have impacted him. You have to really know someone well before you have children with them. If you can't have children, the story is different and it might still be okay, you can help someone when you love them.
And me. Two long-term live-in relationships, but I've never been married.
I have a real problem with the whole idea of marriage. It's a contract, but one with a lot of unwritten small-print - like a lot of social exchanges, but magnified a hundred times over.
I think the only time I would ever think about tying the knot is if my husband-to-be was financially better off than me and I needed a legal safety net in case things went pear-shaped. Sounds horrible and mercenary I know, but that's my take on it.
My parents have been married for 53 years - I think they only knew each other a short time before they married. They both have stories of how they went back to friends and family and said they met the one they were going to marry.
Married once, for a year. It was more than enough.
We only saw each other 3 times before we married, and it was 11 weeks from the day we met til the wedding day, so it was the ultimate crap shoot.
That's the thing with gambling though - you lose more than you win.
I don't regret it though. There was the odd good time in there...and I still totally heart myself that I had the guts to marry someone I hardly knew. Yay me.
Advice? If you want to make it work, then MAKE IT WORK - do whatever it takes. If you don't, then don't f**k around - do what's got to be done and get on with healing. Don't carry the other person's negativity around with you.
...and lighten up - none of this stuff *actually* matters;-)
My advice on this subject is "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ( By Mignon McLaughlin). It's not the matter how many times you are married but the one you do must be a successful one.
She is my best friend and my most honest wish is that we die together so neither of us has to suffer losing the other.
We have our fights and disagreements but I would be lost without her. She has made me a better person, she has raised two wonderful children, I love her cooking and she is the cutest thing I ever laid eyes on.
I've been married 5 times and the best advice I could give anyone is don't do it, unless of course, it's for the money... then go ahead, knock yourself out... and make sure you get a good pre-nup. LOL!
But if you're getting married for love, lust, looks, or whatever else besides the big bucks... don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.
Stay single, play the field, date, enjoy, and don't tie yourself down to anyone... fly free little bird.
Doesn't matter how charming, how beautiful, how wonderful you think they are... they are never really what they seem and neither are you, and nothing ever turns out like you thought it would, and there you are stuck with Mr./Mrs. Not-So-Wonderful.
Of course, there are some couples who were just made for each other and are true soul mates. But I don't know any of those people.
1st Marriage - 5 years 2nd Marriage - 6 months 3rd Marriage - 17 years 4th Marriage - 7 years (actually the first girl I ever dated back in high school...)
Advice - Seperate bathrooms!!!
Real Advice - Before you get married, make SURE you can accept the person EXACTLY the way they are... (because you will NEVER be able to change them, or get them to change - which isn't to say they won't change, it's just something YOU will have absolutely no control over...)
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