Is it morally wrong to have a temporary friends with benefits type of situation with a married man?
“If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.”
It's morally wrong unless the wife has been consulted and she is happy with the arrangement.
You mean it's morally wrong for a wife to be happy with such an arrangement?
Oops that came out all wrong didn't it? What I meant to say was, it's OK for a man to have temporary partners if his wife knows and agrees to it (and vice versa). Not my cup of tea but I know it works for some.
In most morals - yes, it is wrong to fuck a married man. Can't say for all morals though
If you have to ask you have doubt and therefore you've answered your own question. Looking for an out, I'm sure you can think of something.
No one ever does anything wrong without first rationalizing in their OWN mind that it's right.
Good Luck With That
Can you explain why it is morally wrong?
If the wife never knows, then it does no harm to her.
If it is enabling the man to stay in his marriage, then technically it is doing no harm to the marriage either.
No harm is being done, so why is it morally wrong?
Technically, a marriage is a legally binding contract. But the otherwoman has not agreed to this contract. So she has no legal obligation to stay away from the married man.
On what basis, is the temporary and casual relationship between the otherwoman and the married man morally wrong?
Nah, I can't explain cause I am immoral. Or is it moralless? Those who have morals, will gladly do in a minute.
Oh, and don't mix moral with law - they are altogether different animals.
Whether she actually ever knows about it or not, it DOES harm her because her husband is giving the love and affection that he promised to her, to someone else. Even if she goes her entire life without ever knowing why her husband has grown more cold and distant, it will do harm to her...and to him too, because he no doubt will have some sort of internal conflict. That said, if he has to have an affair to stay married, what kind of marriage is that? Sounds like it'd be doing her a huge favor to get a divorce...I know I would have been grateful if my ex had simply done that instead of taken the way that was easiest for him.
You cannot be sure that the wife will never know-- the truth comes out in various ways.
A marriage involves two people. He is not 'staying in his marriage' if it involves another person.
Harm is being done if he is living a lie. He has broken his promise to her.
He has broken his contract. The other woman is a party to the crime, legally.
If you can't understand it--you don't understand the basis.
A woman who is at all in-tune with her husband will know. She may not know exactly what is going on, but she will be aware that something is wrong.
So you're saying, if you steal something from me and I don't notice, then it's not morally wrong?
That makes sense, if that's why the man is engaging in casual sex. But it's quite likely he wouldn't leave his marriage, even if he couldn't get casual sex. And there's always the risk his wife will find out - which could destroy the marriage. So the other woman is taking a big risk, which won't hurt her but could seriously hurt another woman (the wife). Not very sisterly.
Let's say one of your friends wanted to steal something. If you enable them to achieve their criminal act, you're saying that wouldn't be morally wrong?
Yes, friends with benefits means friendship with sexual oriented additions without feelings.
It would not be morally right, on both. You or the other person.
A married man is suppose to be committed to his spouse, which means he keeps his hands off another.
You getting mixed up with him, shows you do not understand morals. Which is a little ironic, to say the least.
Then again, your post alone shows a serious lack of knowledge of life. But, it could just be me.
Glad you like it Katie. Apparently, this person needs to look up the word "Integrity", because it's missing in their actions.
It's interesting that you put integrity and morality into the same basket. Many great and respected people, with the greatest of integrity, and the greatest sense of morality, have yet done immoral things.
I think it actually shows the human condition.
To know something is wrong, but to do it anyway.
And I think that anyone who cannot understand this, has not faced true temptation. Most people who are able to walk away from temptation do so because ultimately it benefits them more to walk away than to give in. Whether this is due to their religious morals, guilt, fear of punishment, or whatever. Whatever the reason - their reason to walk away outweighs their reason to give in to temptation.
“Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.”
It shows ignorance, because these people you are talking about did immoral actions, to suit themselves. Thus, selfish.
It also shows that they really do not have Integrity, as you claim.
Is ignorance. It shows also a person's inability to control themselves.
Well, I can speak from experience and the temptation is irrelevant. If you cannot or willfully decide to not control yourself, then you are accountable for ALL consequences that happen from that action.
What is your point with this statement. They walk away because they know it's wrong.
It boils down to CHOICE and understanding what in life is right or wrong.
It's called integrity, as noted above. Most people vow to maintain fidelity to their spouse during the wedding ceremony.
While I could understand a one night stand, (as you point out, temptation can be strong) an ongoing relationship outside one's marriage is inexcusable, even in a bad marriage. If you want out, get out. If not, stay in and keep to your agreement.
This is clearly not the place for a philosophical discussion.
And, clearly you are nowhere near being philosophical about your responses.
So, please do not try to be either. Your OP already puts you in a position of defending your actions. There can be no offensive position to engage in a philosophical discussion.
Your actions with a married man, would say you would be heavily at a disadvantage.
Clearly you want to see a definition of morality with no philosophy. What is your definition of morality?
Plain and simple once a cheater always a cheater
Don’t judge me because of your actions or our comments and are you upset with us because you want us to condone what you have done or what you want to do and I won't defend you for doing it, sorry no can do
its wrong but its also wrong to go through this short life unhappy. so its complicated.
Hypothetical question all of the sudden? With all the defensive retorts, and attempts to rationalize the morality of cheating from the OP, it's funny she only points it out 10 replies after the original post.
If you didn't want people 'jumping to conclusions' perhaps you should have been more concise originally. Not to mention your title is anything, but hypothetical. "Married MAN HELP!" Sorry, it just screams: I got myself in quite the pickle with a married man, thus needing to ease the guilt through looking for justification from others? :]
by cathinfrance7 years ago
I recently wrote a hub on this. If you are a wife who suffered this, the Other Woman who broke up a marriage, or a husband who left a family - what do you think explains the interest of the OW in breaking up a family?
by wesleyacarter7 years ago
Why is it so easy for us to blame God for our circumstances? for the problems of the world?Instead of taking responsibility for ourselves?
by ladyp032 months ago
I am currently in a relationship with a married man whom I work with. We've only been seeing each other for 4 months but it has gotten pretty serious.I was just wondering if there are other women out there who...
by Eaglekiwi7 years ago
With the shock confession of S.C Governor Mark Sanford on Wednesday Night of his adultery some people are suggesting he step down or be impeached.He has been in the headlines just recntly too for refusing bail-out money...
by janesix4 years ago
I say we are born knowing right from wrong. People KNOW they are doing something wrong, and yet choose to do it anyway.Our moral compass is a gift from God.Morals are inborn in my opinion.Discuss.
by Davinagirl37 years ago
I am a flirt, and so is my husband. I like the fact that women find my husband sexy. I think he feels the same way. As long as it doesn't go too far. What are your feelings on this subject?
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.