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Married MAN HELP!!!

  1. profile image60
    Kat.foreverposted 7 years ago

    Is it morally wrong to have a temporary friends with benefits type of situation with a married man?

    1. profile image0
      woolman60posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      “If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.”

      1. profile image0
        woolman60posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        What – therefore – God has joined together – let no man put asunder.

    2. Marisa Wright profile image93
      Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      It's morally wrong unless the wife has been consulted and she is happy with the arrangement.

      1. Misha profile image77
        Mishaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        You mean it's morally wrong for a wife to be happy with such an arrangement? wink

        1. Marisa Wright profile image93
          Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Oops that came out all wrong didn't it?  What I meant to say was, it's OK for a man to have temporary partners if his wife knows and agrees to it (and vice versa).  Not my cup of tea but I know it works for some.

          1. Misha profile image77
            Mishaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Sure I understood Marisa, I was just teasing you smile

  2. Misha profile image77
    Mishaposted 7 years ago

    In most morals - yes, it is wrong to fuck a married man. Can't say for all morals though smile

    1. katiem2 profile image60
      katiem2posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      If you have to ask you have doubt and therefore you've answered your own question.  Looking for an out, I'm sure you can think of something.

      No one ever does anything wrong without first rationalizing in their OWN mind that it's right. 

      Good Luck With That smilesmilesmilesmilesmile

      1. katiem2 profile image60
        katiem2posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Rock ON Misha your a prince smile

        1. Misha profile image77
          Mishaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I am too old for one - but aww, thanks smile

    2. profile image60
      Kat.foreverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Can you explain why it is morally wrong?
      If the wife never knows, then it does no harm to her.
      If it is enabling the man to stay in his marriage, then technically it is doing no harm to the marriage either.
      No harm is being done, so why is it morally wrong?
      Technically, a marriage is a legally binding contract. But the otherwoman has not agreed to this contract. So she has no legal obligation to stay away from the married man.
      On what basis, is the temporary and casual relationship between the otherwoman and the married man morally wrong?

      1. Misha profile image77
        Mishaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Nah, I can't explain cause I am immoral. Or is it moralless? Those who have morals, will gladly do in a minute. smile

        Oh, and don't mix moral with law - they are altogether different animals. smile

      2. wychic profile image80
        wychicposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Whether she actually ever knows about it or not, it DOES harm her because her husband is giving the love and affection that he promised to her, to someone else. Even if she goes her entire life without ever knowing why her husband has grown more cold and distant, it will do harm to her...and to him too, because he no doubt will have some sort of internal conflict. That said, if he has to have an affair to stay married, what kind of marriage is that? Sounds like it'd be doing her a huge favor to get a divorce...I know I would have been grateful if my ex had simply done that instead of taken the way that was easiest for him.

      3. Rochelle Frank profile image90
        Rochelle Frankposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        You cannot be sure that the wife will never know-- the truth comes out in various ways.
        A marriage involves two people. He is not 'staying in his marriage' if it involves another person.

        Harm is being done if he is living a lie. He has broken his promise to her.

        He has broken his contract. The other woman is a party to the crime, legally.

        If you can't understand it--you don't understand the basis.

      4. IvyCrenshaw profile image60
        IvyCrenshawposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        A woman who is at all in-tune with her husband will know.  She may not know exactly what is going on, but she will be aware that something is wrong.

      5. Marisa Wright profile image93
        Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        So you're saying, if you steal something from me and I don't notice, then it's not morally wrong?



        That makes sense, if that's why the man is engaging in casual sex.  But it's quite likely he wouldn't leave his marriage, even if he couldn't get casual sex. And there's always the risk his wife will find out - which could destroy the marriage.  So the other woman is taking a big risk, which won't hurt her but could seriously hurt another woman (the wife). Not very sisterly.



        Let's say one of your friends wanted to steal something.  If you enable them to achieve their criminal act, you're saying that wouldn't be morally wrong?

  3. Cagsil profile image61
    Cagsilposted 7 years ago

    Yes, friends with benefits means friendship with sexual oriented additions without feelings.

    It would not be morally right, on both. You or the other person.

    A married man is suppose to be committed to his spouse, which means he keeps his hands off another.

    You getting mixed up with him, shows you do not understand morals. Which is a little ironic, to say the least.

    Then again, your post alone shows a serious lack of knowledge of life. But, it could just be me. lol

    1. katiem2 profile image60
      katiem2posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Aw Cagsil what a lovely thing to say smile

      1. Cagsil profile image61
        Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Glad you like it Katie. Apparently, this person needs to look up the word "Integrity", because it's missing in their actions. wink smile

        1. profile image60
          Kat.foreverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          It's interesting that you put integrity and morality into the same basket. Many great and respected people, with the greatest of integrity, and the greatest sense of morality, have yet done immoral things.

          1. Cagsil profile image61
            Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            And, it shows their ignorance.

            1. profile image60
              Kat.foreverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              I think it actually shows the human condition.
              To know something is wrong, but to do it anyway.
              And I think that anyone who cannot understand this, has not faced true temptation. Most people who are able to walk away from temptation do so because ultimately it benefits them more to walk away than to give in. Whether this is due to their religious morals, guilt, fear of punishment, or whatever. Whatever the reason - their reason to walk away outweighs their reason to give in to temptation.

              1. profile image0
                woolman60posted 7 years ago in reply to this

                “Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.”

              2. Cagsil profile image61
                Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                It shows ignorance, because these people you are talking about did immoral actions, to suit themselves. Thus, selfish.

                It also shows that they really do not have Integrity, as you claim.
                Is ignorance. It shows also a person's inability to control themselves.
                Well, I can speak from experience and the temptation is irrelevant. If you cannot or willfully decide to not control yourself, then you are accountable for ALL consequences that happen from that action.
                What is your point with this statement. They walk away because they know it's wrong.
                It boils down to CHOICE and understanding what in life is right or wrong.

              3. wilderness profile image94
                wildernessposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                It's called integrity, as noted above.  Most people vow to maintain fidelity to their spouse during the wedding ceremony.

                While I could understand a one night stand, (as you point out, temptation can be strong) an ongoing relationship outside one's marriage is inexcusable, even in a bad marriage.  If you want out, get out.  If not, stay in and keep to your agreement.

                1. profile image60
                  Kat.foreverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                  This is clearly not the place for a philosophical discussion.

                  1. Cagsil profile image61
                    Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                    And, clearly you are nowhere near being philosophical about your responses.

                    So, please do not try to be either. Your OP already puts you in a position of defending your actions. There can be no offensive position to engage in a philosophical discussion.

                    Your actions with a married man, would say you would be heavily at a disadvantage.

                  2. Rochelle Frank profile image90
                    Rochelle Frankposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                    Clearly you want to see a definition of morality with no philosophy. What is your definition of morality?

                  3. profile image0
                    woolman60posted 7 years ago in reply to this

                    Kat
                    Plain and simple once a cheater always a cheater
                    Don’t judge me because of your actions or our comments and are you upset with us because you want us to condone  what you have done or what you want to do and I won't defend you for doing it, sorry no can do

  4. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    http://www.humorhound.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/omg-wtf-cat-rubiks-cube.jpg

  5. tah658 profile image62
    tah658posted 7 years ago

    its wrong but its also wrong to go through this short life unhappy. so its complicated.

  6. torimari profile image79
    torimariposted 7 years ago

    Hypothetical question all of the sudden? With all the defensive retorts, and attempts to rationalize the morality of cheating from the OP, it's funny she only points it out 10 replies after the original post.

    If you didn't want people 'jumping to conclusions' perhaps you should have been more concise originally. Not to mention your title is anything, but hypothetical.  "Married MAN HELP!" Sorry, it just screams: I got myself in quite the pickle with a married man, thus needing to ease the guilt through looking for justification from others? :]

 
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