I agree with that! I seldom get very angry, my psych training takes me straight to my fear fortunately or unfortunatly depending on if I have the guts to stay with the fear.
When I confront whatever it is (usually something I don't want to know about myself) it really is like holding up a mirror. I am what I am afraid of!
I also know when I learn something personal and grow from it.
It ALWAYS hurts my feelings!
me too. If I'm reacting, I always ask myself. What about this person is me? Then I see it. And then I own up to it and then I stop feeling angry.
اذا غضبت اذهب بعيد واجلس
If you get angry at a distance and go sit down
The old count to ten and inhale deep and exhale really seems to work. Rememer that there is much better communication when you speak in a softer voice. The old it's not what you say it is how you say it is very true still today.
Fingerpointing and blame are not necessary. Just stick to the subject and find solution. This really saves a lot of heated dialoge about how you got there in the first place.
Oh, before I forget they say that the person that needs love the most deserves it the least. We all deserve love but I know you get it.
Wayne Dyer the author says that forgiveness it the scent that the rose gives when you step on it.
I used to let it rip. Now, I usually remove myself from the situation before things get out of hand. If I can't, I let it rip, again. Feels good at the time doesn't it?
Join a Gym and beat the hell out of the punch bag and maybe lift some weight.
For every person there is always this animal in us, someone or something brings out. You have to sit down and fatum the reason why you get angry. I can tell you why you get angry is the fear of what has happened to you in the past which you don't want it to repeat itself again because it hurts. What you have to do is believe it will not happen again and forget the past.
Sometimes there are good reasons to be angry but never violent. Anger can actually be a great motivator and in this World you sometimes need that motivation. Remembering what made me angry keeps me from making the same mistake or from being the fool again. Not getting angry but explaining how you feel about something first allows you to determine if you should be angry or not in the first place. Being angry at others because you our angry is never acceptable and is a lack of control. Being angry with the problem helps you to determine the solution. If I was more angry I would have not allowed so much crap to slide past me in my life time. Still we all just need a break sometimes and little time to ourselves. Yes anger has destroyed many people but anger and hate is a whole different thing.
When I get upset I turn ultra cool. The other party often has no idea they are in danger -lol / just kidding. I do however become extremely calm and my words are few. I'll say phrases like: "Oh, okay. I see. Interesting." Conflict management for me requires me not to speak in the heat of the moment because my knick name as a kid was "smart mouth" and I can bring it when upset so I take the first steps.
(1) Become slow to speak.
(2) Calm down.
(3) Ask very simple questions.
(4) If I'm really upset - I limit conversation so I wait, calm down, and address the situation at a later time.
(5) When approaching a situation I use "I" language which expresses my feelings rather than accusing others which results in a defensive response.
(6) I evaluate the response for truth and understanding and decide how I will deal with that person as well.
by kirstenblog5 years ago
Do you guys think it is ever possible for a relationship where one person tries to control the other using manipulation and/or threats can ever become a happy healthy one? Is it even possible?
by klevifusha5 years ago
How do you deal with your anger? Do you simply let it out or do you have any particular physical or psychological techniques which help you keep it under control?
by Kevin Peter2 years ago
How can anger be controlled?I am a bad tempered person. I get angry even at my kids without any particular reason. How can I overcome it?
by Leslie A. Shields6 years ago
How do you deal with your anger? Do you retaliate? Do you supress it? Do you take it out on others? Please tell us?
by Rafini6 years ago
What is emotional intelligence and is it important? Can you learn, or relearn, emotional intelligence? Is it related, directly or indirectly, with the ability to manage people? Or, leadership? ...
by Eric Dierker3 years ago
How can a person/writer here appear so angry and at least claim they are not? I think we all know angry. I think we can all see it in another. I think we all know at least one writer who acts angry in these forums,...
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