Gift Giving -- should it be what they want?

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   Medora Trevilianposted 13 years ago

   When giving a gift, is it best to consider the wishes of the recipient, their hidden desires or longings, or is it better to give what you think they need, but may not want?

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      well...i think you answered your question...'giving them something u think they need but they may not want'.....so...i'd go for a gift that would mean something to them; not something that means something for me.

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         Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         It should mean something to both giver and receiver, I think. But what if they'll grow to love it, though they may not think so at first?

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            SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            well, Shadesbreath made a point...guess it depends on the person (age wise too)...I hate getting stuff i don't need but someone else thinks that I do....my mother still tries to buy me 'stuff' that she likes (for many years now)  ....my idea of a gift is something that you would not buy for yourself...a little luxury or something special....and then for an older a person who has everything....i donate to their favourite charity...
            
            and...you're right sometimes people could grow to love it....but maybe not...
            
            of course...gift giving is for both...i just try to think of a gift that would make their day...and then it'll make mine too....i find simple and thoughtful is the best too.
            
            i remember buying my niece 'savings bonds' every year...and of course those pieces of paper didn't mean anything to her until she became an adult and cashed 'em in.....then she understood!  LOL!...but i always made sure their was another gift for her to relate to and have fun with!

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               Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Yes, we want to make their day, but that's a lot to have riding on a gift. It may even put pressure on the recipient, in case we did not find the perfect gift. Better to hope for the best, knowing that if the gift is mis-chosen, the sentiment on both sides is not.

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                  the pink umbrellaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  when all else fails, go for a memory you have with them. Like, a yanky candle with a beachie smell to it, and a card that says "ill never forget that vacation" or something.

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   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   The part about something they "need but may not want" requires fleshing out first.  Do the ACTUALLY need it, but it just wouldn't be their first choice of gift because they'd rather have a pleasure item or something?  If that is the case, the I'd say it's a perfectly acceptable gift.  When I was in college I used to get underwear and socks from my parents when I really wanted books or CDs or video games.  I always opened those "practical" gifts and thought, "Ugh!"  But I also wore them and was later appreciative of having underwear that wasn't embarassing.
   
   On the otherhand, if you only THINK they need some particular gift and/or you know they GENUINELY don't want it, then I don't see any reason why you would want to buy it.

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      Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, very apt. No one dreams of receiving underwear -- well, at least not from one's parents -- but there are advantages to having underwear, once given.

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   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   imo - A gift should be given according to the desires of the recipient while in accordance with the givers beliefs and budget.

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      Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Rafini, well put!

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   timorousposted 13 years ago

   If you give someone something they want or may enjoy, they're more likely to remember who gave it to them, as opposed to some practical gift...especially the younger they are.
   
   Sometimes a practical gift sends the wrong message...like you couldn't be bothered giving it much thought, or that you don't really care that much.
   
   If you know the gift recipient well, you'll already know what sort of things they like, and you can surprise them.   This is quite often the best gift.

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      the pink umbrellaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      you know what though? a gift is just that, a gift. No one should ever look down on a gift given, unless the gift is an insult, such as a box full of mint gum for someone you know who has bad breath. If given in the spirit of giving, a gift should be treasured as much as the relationship you have with the giver.
      
      gift gift giver givee gifty gift! lol

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   wildorangeflowerposted 13 years ago

   it is sensitive to sense what you think she will like or be needing, the thought always count

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