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Sex is Complicated

  1. IntimatEvolution profile image82
    IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago

    Hey all I'm writing a new series of hubs about the complications that follow along with sex.  My first hub on this subject tackles teenage pregnancy.  Still though, there are many circumstances that can cause certain complications in a persons life. 

    Some might come in the form of physical ailments or troubles, whereas some people might have mental or emotional issues.  Therefore I would like to know what are some of the complications you have faced since being sexually active. 

    Mine has been a weight issue.  Sex has become quite complicated in my life due to my weight.  Which has turned into a never-ending, vicious circle.  What's yours? 

    I'm off to a MU football game, so I'll be off a while.  But I would like to see where this thread goes.  So I'm not ignoring you, I'll just be back tomorrow.  Thanks for your help!smile

    1. couturepopcafe profile image60
      couturepopcafeposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Mind if I ask how old you are and what gender?

      1. IntimatEvolution profile image82
        IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        40 and a female.

    2. profile image0
      klarawieckposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I don't understand how being sexually active could affect your weight. Unless you are all day going at it and don't eat properly. Could you elaborate a bit on this?

      I haven't had any issues related to being sexually active.

      1. couturepopcafe profile image60
        couturepopcafeposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        She may mean sex is affected by weight, not the other way around.  Embarrassed, maybe?  Most women don't realize that men care less about what our bodies look like than we think. (a myth probably perpetuated by all the ogling.)

        1. IntimatEvolution profile image82
          IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          Sorry you've got that all wrong.  My husband has told me he hates my new fat body.  But I like it, so......... 

          Yeah, I don't need to be analyzed.  Thanks. 

          I'm just looking for reasons why sex is complicated to some.  I don't care what others think of my body.  I'm not modest.  However, my husband isn't turned on by my big old pannis.  That's makes my sex life difficult.  What makes yours difficult?  The lack of affection, or a cheating husband?

          1. blondepoet profile image80
            blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            'My husband has told me he hates my new fat body'......oh my god he said that to you.........oh that is so wrong......

            1. IntimatEvolution profile image82
              IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              Why is that wrong?  So you think that a relationship built on lies is better?

              I don't like to come home and eat lunch with him.  Should I lie and make excuses, or tell him the truth.  Needless to say, I told him the truth.

              1. blondepoet profile image80
                blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                I totally agree people shouldn't lie to each other but when you said he 'hates it' it sounded quite harsh and I thought of your feelings...

                1. Sunny Robinson profile image85
                  Sunny Robinsonposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                  I'm with BP on that.  Intimat, you sound like a blunt person who handles things fine.  However, your husband was too harsh, in my opinion.  I'm kind of confused by the relationship between your husband and you.  Like below, I'm reading that you ignored his needs (am I reading wrong?) and stuff... I'm just not too sure here.

                  1. bgamall profile image84
                    bgamallposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                    Yeah, it would be better if he were like ole Abe Lincoln on that commercial we see on TV. Trust me, it wouldn't make things any better. She probably is a person who you can't get through to unless you verbally smack them. I wouldn't try it on my wife. I am a coward. smile

                  2. IntimatEvolution profile image82
                    IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                    First of all, he is autistic.  I married Spock, literally.  He is one of those super genesis.  It is what I love the most about him.  He is an odd duck, that grew into being my swan.  Cheesy I know, but, that is exactly how it is.  Dating Michael was a nightmare.  But..., he is so damn interesting and awesome, I couldn't wait to see him.  He makes me giddy.

                    As for our relationship- we are open and honest. We have to be, and I like it that way. His bluntness...., he doesn't know how to be any other way.  He mentally cannot comprehend "grey areas."

                    For him, he has to have a black and white world, built on yes or no.  Lets go to my lunch thing.  Sure it would be nice to say, "Honey, I'm going out to eat lunch with the girls today."

                    But that doesn't work for Michael.  For Michael, you'd better have an explanation for every detail.  Like "what's wrong with the left overs," or "there is food in the pantry."  Then let's switch logical gears here, because the next questions will be a round of; "where do I plan to sit when I eat," and "I thought you didn't care for what Jane Doe said to you last week" and "why do I want to concern myself with petty conversations," and "what if it starts raining," "do I have the resources to facilitate my "doggie bag" in case it is too hot outside...., and it goes on.  That is Autism. 

                    Therefore, it is soooooooooooooooo much easier to say,
                    "Honey, on my lunch hour you stress me out because you ask me way too many questions.  I don't like eating lunch with you."

                    Michael being autistic understands this a whole lot easier, and he doesn't take it personal.  He really doesn't know how, or care to know how.  That's my marriage.  It may not be for some of you, but, I love my life, I love my husband, and well if sex is my only problem in this crazy world- well then, I can deal with that.smile  Thank you for your concerns, but seriously, they are unfounded. As for some of your all's confusion, Autism is  confusing, because it exists in a world of unnecessary rubbish. Take out the rubbish, then we all are autistic.  If you want to understand my relationship, watch an old Star Trek episode.

                  3. IntimatEvolution profile image82
                    IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                    And another thing, I wrote that with my first husband........., and yes to get him to start giving more "activities" to me, I taught him a little lesson about sharing.  For me it worked beautifully.  He was a great lover until his death in 2004.

                    Michael is my second husband.  Sorry about that confusion.

      2. IntimatEvolution profile image82
        IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Sex is also affected by weight, because fat girls and boys have a tendency to not be in shape. 

        Think....., I mean being really fat makes sex very difficult.  The extra weight bearing down has actually caused a man to suffocate and die, because his face got buried in his wife's chest, and she didn't realize that she was crushing her husband to death.  Now I'm not that fat, but still....., it is a issue for my husband.  Personally I don't give a rat's butt about what he thinks of my body.  I have plenty of toys, lots of cash to buy what I want, and I've even been given permission to go and find a boyfriend.  I'm just too lazy to do it.  I mean seriously, but nevermind.

        This was never suppose to be about me.

        1. bgamall profile image84
          bgamallposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          That is quite a lot of information. smile

          Perhaps he needs to be more topside, if you know what I mean.

    3. proton66 profile image72
      proton66posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I like sex, and of course, it is a topic of extreme interest. No doubt, some have problems before marriage, and during marriage.

      Because of certain variables, it's not always exciting. I know some do act like they have an "energizer" battery, and some are slowly losing it. Devastating? Of course! But I must say, both partners better be up to par. Imagine one of the partners giving up before it's over? Besides, hormones do contribute to the itchiness of wanting it which of course requires a partner but then, one may not necessarily need another person. As to having a weight issue, it may or may not be a major factor. Perhaps, it's psychological.

    4. profile image61
      Sword of Fireposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Sex is complicated. Round peg, round hole. Relationships, love. Now that's complicated. smile

  2. Rajab Nsubuga profile image60
    Rajab Nsubugaposted 6 years ago

    Mine is a drug issue!

  3. profile image0
    ralwusposted 6 years ago

    hmmmm, yes it can get quite complicated at times. Expeciall when one is unfaithful or doing 'it' with a same sex partner while being involved in straight sex with another.

  4. profile image71
    logic,commonsenseposted 6 years ago

    Nothing complicated about it!
    I can give lessons if need be! smile

    1. bgamall profile image84
      bgamallposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I was going to say that but I thought it was crass. smile

  5. blondepoet profile image80
    blondepoetposted 6 years ago

    I think my problem is I have always been a giver. I find it hard to be a receiver as I feel like I should be a giver.

    1. profile image71
      logic,commonsenseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Why is that a problem?
      You do deserve to receive and I can help you with that! smile

      1. blondepoet profile image80
        blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Done deal Logic!!!! xo

    2. IntimatEvolution profile image82
      IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Yeah, my first husband was like that for awhile.  But you know after I ignored his needs for a month or two, I never had that problem again. But yeah, I think alot of people fall into this trap.

  6. C.V.Rajan profile image68
    C.V.Rajanposted 6 years ago

    Thinking too much about sex could probably complicate things too much!

    1. IntimatEvolution profile image82
      IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Oh yes, that is a very good point.

    2. blondepoet profile image80
      blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Good point smile smile

    3. JustJets profile image61
      JustJetsposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I must agree, too, that this is a very good point.

  7. A la carte profile image60
    A la carteposted 6 years ago

    While sex can be just that I think that a major problem is relationships and sex. We all want different things from a relationship and what we want can affect sex.

  8. rebekahELLE profile image91
    rebekahELLEposted 6 years ago

    it's the mind that's complicated. sex is quite natural.

    1. profile image71
      logic,commonsenseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      And I'm all about natural! smile

      1. rebekahELLE profile image91
        rebekahELLEposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        wink

  9. Sunny Robinson profile image85
    Sunny Robinsonposted 6 years ago

    Personally, I don't think sex is complicated.

    Sex is an activity, an emotion expressed, a release, and an interactive thing.

    It's people's perceptions, society's views, cultural ideology, complex relationships, personal issues, and physical issues that get in the way of things.  People are complicated, sometimes.

    1. Sunny Robinson profile image85
      Sunny Robinsonposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      And I would like to add.

      Mine was always the pain involved in sex, which has for the most part been resolved now.  I'm also less active, but when it goes there, I'm interested and sex is great.

      1. bgamall profile image84
        bgamallposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Less active than what?

        1. Sunny Robinson profile image85
          Sunny Robinsonposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          Well, just less active, lol.  I don't know what I would say as a comparison... less active than say 2 times a week or so.

          1. bgamall profile image84
            bgamallposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Wow, that was a lot of information. smile  I hope you know I am just teasing you. It worked.

    2. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
      schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      good point smile

      1. proton66 profile image72
        proton66posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Complicated? Would that mean too many bumps in their lives or unresolved issues? One who is free from stress and living the good life, is apt to find such an activity more exciting if libido or erectile dysfunction is not an issue.

  10. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
    schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago

    My problem is I need someone who has fetishes lol lol

    1. Disturbia profile image60
      Disturbiaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      My problem is MY FETISHES.... LOL!

      1. proton66 profile image72
        proton66posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Nice... can be too much for some people.smile

  11. Stevennix2001 profile image81
    Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago

    my problem is im all theories and no practice.  trust me, for some reason in real life, all my coworkers always give me sex tips that I never use, as I can't even get a girl to go out with me as it is.  Let alone go out with one to where it'll lead up to sex.  lol  Therefore, I guess you can say inexperience for me and being a bit shy sometimes. 

    Although I do have a lot of moves and skills memorized from what others have told me, and i do watch some...er..um...lets just say movies that are very informative about sexual techniques and positions that I have yet to ever put into practice, that I've also memorized. lollollol (joke) wink lollollol

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
      schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      it's the shy ones sometimes that are the wildest! wink tongue

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image81
        Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Don't you know it.  wink tongue lollol

        1. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
          schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          yep:P

    2. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
      schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      why don't you put up a sexy pic smile that ought to get the girl going smile wink smile

  12. Stevennix2001 profile image81
    Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago

    you mean something like this?  lollol


    http://s3.hubimg.com/u/3922070_f248.jpg

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
      schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol smile smile wink tongue

      Sometimes it's nice to like someone for their mind and personality too smile

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image81
        Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        i couldn't agree more.  smile

        1. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
          schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          How do you find someone like that? smile

          1. Stevennix2001 profile image81
            Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

            eh, it's hard to say really.  from what most people tell me, they say love happens often when you least expect it.

  13. profile image0
    Jasmine JellyBabyposted 6 years ago

    sex is not complicated.. its the penis and vagina that are!! tongue big_smile

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image74
      schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      hmm how bout the difficulty of putting them together? roll lol

    2. IntimatEvolution profile image82
      IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol!  Sometimes that is a complicated ordeal.lol

    3. proton66 profile image72
      proton66posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I agree...

  14. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    I never realized  . . . wow - people are so complicated and then they also want sex!  woooo!  that's amazing.  I believe that without desire I will find peace, so I am not desiring anything.  I mean ANYTHING.  So if it just happens, that's like, oooh baby! LALALA  LA!!!

  15. Hmrjmr1 profile image78
    Hmrjmr1posted 6 years ago

    Just passing along a Widowers Lesson Learned-
    Sex is a lot like sleep in that while it's nice to have it every day, it's not absolutely necessary. But the results of the prolonged deprivation of either is the same.

  16. blondepoet profile image80
    blondepoetposted 6 years ago

    "There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed."

    1. Kangaroo_Jase profile image82
      Kangaroo_Jaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol especially in an Australian winter.........

      1. blondepoet profile image80
        blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Lol Roo too right. smile

    2. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
      SomewayOuttaHereposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      i actually came across a scene like that....i was quite surprised at what i was looking at...i had to take a second look to be sure....lol....i think they did it purposely because of where they were....it was just too weird and so obvious....i had a good laugh tho!

      1. blondepoet profile image80
        blondepoetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Oh dear Lord I thought I had seen you somewhere before smile smile smile

        http://i673.photobucket.com/albums/vv93/tangbaba/surprised-face.jpg

        1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
          SomewayOuttaHereposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          lol lol

      2. IntimatEvolution profile image82
        IntimatEvolutionposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        My boyfriend and I were up in the hills outside San Jose, CA- and got busted playing around in our car, which we had parked along the side of the road, by a cop.  That was back in 1990. The cop ask us our age, after he flashed the flashlight in our faces, told us to go home and do our business there.  We laughed, thank god for our blessings, and went home.

        I can't imagine what they would do to a couple of young teenagers, who might be playing around in a car parked along side a road today.  Prison probably.

        1. profile image0
          china manposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          I was out on a drunk boys night out when my friend came into the bar and told me that he was 'servicing' a young woman out in his car but he had to go home and did not want to just abandon her.  I agreed to go take over and climbed into the car in the dark and just got on with it.  Suddenly a bright light shone in on us and a policeman asked us just WHAT we were doing!  I thought quickly and told him that I was making love to my wife - if you don't mind!!   he shone his light on her - and I was !   big_smile

          1. Misha profile image75
            Mishaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            LOL Then wife or still wife?

            1. profile image0
              china manposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              courtesy of a brilliant Cornish comedian called Jethro  smile

  17. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 6 years ago

    gotcha smile

 
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