marriage

1. 39

   lamonda30posted 13 years ago

   how long is too long to wait for someone to marry you?

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      omcj1234posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      When you know you know. Guys get married when the time is right. Women get married when the guy is right.

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      Rogochuksposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      2 years after the guy says ''will you marry me'', and there is no plan in place.

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2. 66

   b. Malinposted 13 years ago

   I'd say three to five years....  is average if it's a financial situation...or one of you has been married before and not ready after year one or two to commit.  Longer than five years I'd say is too long.  HOWEVER, I knew this woman who went with her man for TWENTY YEARS before they finally decided to get married.  So too long is if YOU think it's TOO LONG...you'll know girlfriend.
   
   I waited three years to marry Lover Man.  We both had been married before....so I was a bit leery.  But it turned out to be great!

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   1. 39

      lamonda30posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      i too have been married. im not leery . my mother waited 20. but both of them were alcoholics at the time so that got in the way. they were engaged for 8. it doesn't have to be right now cus theres a lot to it . but i have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that i am waisting my time. especially because it's been 8yrs.

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      1. 65

         Flightkeeperposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Eight years! Move on, girl.  You should have asked him what he wanted after one year.

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         1. 39

            lamonda30posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            i would have it wasn't for the fact that i was still married and im 4yrs older than him. im thirty so six yrs ago he couldn't even buy liquor

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3. 63

   Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

   if she isn't ready to committ to this jelly within 2 weeks, it's time to move on

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   1. 77

      frogdroppingposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      For me it's moot. I don't need a man to marry me to feel loved, wanted, needed. And why should the woman wait for the man? Can't she ask?

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4. 60

   jeri741posted 13 years ago

   2 weeks...ykes thats fast....'d say 3-4 yrs would be to long for me.

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5. 60

   jeri741posted 13 years ago

   dang my i is sticking again

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6. 78

   Mighty Momposted 13 years ago

   Trust your gut. If you feel like you are wasting your time, you are. Make the move and suggest a break or seeing other people.
   Test and see how each of you is solo.
   If you get back together and want to make it permanent, it's all good.
   Whatever you do, do NOT issue an ultimatum. Bad, bad, bad idea.
   Always retain the upper hand (or the appearance of the upper hand).
   
   Just waiting our "real" resident expert Dawn M to chime in here.She's a marriage counselor. I'm just a marriage 'expert'

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   1. 39

      lamonda30posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      i always thought those were a bad idea. but how do u make a suggestion like that to someone u been with almost a decade without rubbing them the wrong way.i think it's a good suggestion.

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      1. 39

         lamonda30posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         the whole subject give's me anxiety. i recently developed the disorder and im convinced he made me this way. i think the only way i wont feel bad is if he breaks up with me. but that's never happened to me before

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7. 59

   qwarkposted 13 years ago

   Why get married?
   Live together!
   Man is not a monogamous by nature.
   He is a polygamous creature.
   Marriage makes attorneys rich and enemies out of friends.
   "Shackup!"

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   1. 39

      lamonda30posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      what the hell u think i been doing for 8yrs. i got dipped in the holy water 4 years ago and ever since it's all i can think about.

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      1. 59

         qwarkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         With all due respect Lamonda, after 8 yrs, why would ya want to destroy a good thing?
         If ya have kids and your man signed the birth certificates, be happy!
         A marriage doesn't need to to be documented on a piece of legal stationary. You are already married.
         Enjoy married life as you have been for the past 8 yrs.

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8. 73

   Diane Insideposted 13 years ago

   I'd say after one year if he hasn't let you know he wants you in the rest of his life, he doesn't
   
   Life is too short.
   
   Find somebody who does.

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