Some people don't have to deal with divorce or betrayal by their significant other. The reason I am posting this topic is to gather the opinions on what you would do. Let's say you catch your spouse in the arms of another. You have put away everything and everyone you have known throughout your life to make a home and family. You have moved to another place far from any associates because you loved your spouse so much and wanted to give them the best of the best. What would you do if it were all ripped away from you? It could happen even though we don't want it to. I've experienced it. I went from a great job, with great standing to a job I despised and was a lowly sales associate. If such a fate fell upon you, what would you do to recover and find that happiness again. Better yet, why would you want to risk starting over. Let's say you have wasted 5 years of your time. Would it not seem that you are starting yet another relationship that has the possibility of failing. I'm looking for advice. Please only post if you have valuable information that individuals, who are faced with this disappointment, can use. I can always use guidance.
10 year vet 2 young kids . Then came to know that monogamy is a myth. Its devastating for all esp the kids. i would not recommend it to anyone. only thing to do is move on remain friends . and do everything possible to shield the kids. their the only thing that really matters.
No time is ever wasted. You have learned something about yourself, no doubt. Now, chose to move past that experience. Don't let the experience become your present and your future. Most of us hold on to our bad experiences so that they have a hold on our present. Remember the good, let go of the bad. Best wishes.
You are all right about the time not being wasted. It is a very valuable and humbling lesson to learn. I was lucky enough not to have to bear putting kids through this strain. I do wonder what happened to for better or for worse. In my opinion it is too easy to get a divorce these days. But then again, who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them. I appreciate all of your inputs.
I went through a similar experience many years ago. I gave up a "political career" to move with my then husband to another state where he had job waiting for him. I was to find out that he also had a girlfriend there...the kids were old enough to be ok (one in college and the other starting). We had also bought a home...which of course had to be sold. I had to find a job out of my field.
But in the end....I did find a job...more than once...began to date...it was fun...made new friends, and eventually met a nice guy and got married. So you could say things worked out...it was certainly a "growing experience.
Today, I am still happily married going on 20 years....My EX..He's divorced.
Wow. That gives me hope for a better tomorrow for sure. I guess the world has a way of weeding out the ones who don't belong. I'm hoping this is the case for me also.
If that's you in the avatar, I'm available. Too soon? Kidding, really, kidding. If it is you, I'm old enough to be your .....ok, we'll say mother.
You've had an emotional injury. Let the process of healing begin. You are alive, you will survive. Also know that it won't always hurt this bad. You'll come out of it stronger. You'll be able to pick up on the sensitivities of others much easier.
The best encouragement I can give is to live your life the best you can for yourself. Grow to love yourself in every aspect. Know that you can indeed be a whole person without a significant other.
have you ever thought about applying for Survivor?
I do not like the way you say, "You have wasted 5 years of your time". I believe that all experiences teach us something and it never lost time. My advice is to try to understand what happened inside you and in your relation. Try to see your mistakes and correct them, if you can. So you can face another relation with more confidence in yourself. If you have made choices in life to love,are not mistakes: they are choices made for love. Even if your love is dramatically finished, it is always love. This is the right attitude... This is my thought
I think you're going to find that life has a way of rewarding you in ways you could never imagine. You have children from the relationship, experienced love, sacrificed for love.. now the next chapter begins. good luck and enjoy it. keep yourself healthy and move forward, spend time with good friends/family.
Stupid experiences are a waste of time. It took me almost 30 years and a tragedy to realize that I've been married to a wrong guy. Now it is too late. That part of my soul is dead. I can not fall in love anymore.
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