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Getting back into dating...

  1. double_frick profile image79
    double_frickposted 5 years ago

    after having kids....as a woman, i'm terrified.
    for one: i look great, except for my stomach which is saggy and my boobs...not horrifying, but definitely not too sexy.
    for two: the guy i am dating was at one point married to a stripper...how the eff am i supposed to like, compete with that? now, i  know i dont need to feel the need to compete with ANY of his past sex partners...but...with my body and i feel a fool when it comes to sex now. and sexy lingerie? i buy diapers! sad wtf am i supposed to do?

    i'm terrified that he will see my stomach/boobs and either his desire will be a bit dampened or i will see a second long look across his face of disgust...and i won't want to do it. hahaha

    i'm so neurotic. *sigh*

    1. pylos26 profile image75
      pylos26posted 5 years ago in reply to this

      double_frick wrote:  getting back into dating…

      I ran this by my wife and she vetoed it!   What’s the world coming to?

      1. Mandar Sal profile image60
        Mandar Salposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        just relax, if he loves u then it wont bother him as much as u think!

    2. prettydarkhorse profile image63
      prettydarkhorseposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Remember, true love transcends physical issues..

      Most of us are looking for emotional bonding more than physical, although at first looks attract -- to turn it into a potential lasting relationship transcends the physical looks.

      You will be ok, let your other assets shine!

  2. wychic profile image80
    wychicposted 5 years ago

    I personally think that women worry about their bodies a heck of a lot more than men worry about women's bodies smile. Personally, I had a lot of the same worries after I left my first husband -- I was overweight, had horrible stretch marks from pregnancy, and had never even been with any man other than the one I'd just left. I've never had a very high self-esteem anyway, so it was rather terrifying.

    The guy that had caught my interest had had a long line of gorgeous girlfriends (yep, one stripper in there too) and has a beautiful ex-wife that he's still on good terms with. This did not help my confidence one bit, especially since we were corresponding long-distance for the first six months. I was really worried that he'd finally get here, see what was under the clothes, and want to head right back to where he came from. I honestly couldn't see why he was interested just from what he COULD see.

    Luckily, he obviously wasn't one bit worried about my "flaws," and often refers to pregnancy stretch marks as badges of honor. That was two years ago, and even now -- two weeks before the end of my second pregnancy, when I feel very much like a drowned cow and all those stretch marks have turned back up with a vengeance -- he is still very interested, has wonderful compliments, and has never once shown any sign of being less-than-pleased with what he sees.

    I guess one way to look at it is...would you care if he had a couple of sags or marks here or there? It's hard for me to accept that maybe men are no more concerned about "flaws" in a woman's body than a woman is about her man's body, but in most cases it does seem to be true.

  3. beautyrose profile image61
    beautyroseposted 5 years ago

    i need a date wink*

  4. pylos26 profile image75
    pylos26posted 5 years ago

    Whats a "date wink"?

  5. Bill Manning profile image68
    Bill Manningposted 5 years ago

    Don't worry about it double_frick, you look fine I'm sure. I've been out of the dating scene for years and I don't expect a perfect 10.

    The young guys do, but they are just looking for fun. Find a guy over 30 and if they want anything more than just sex your looks will be fine. smile

  6. kmackey32 profile image82
    kmackey32posted 5 years ago

    A guy will love you for you, dont worry about your assets as much.....I dont think I would want to be with someone who dated a stripper though..