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Sex appeal

  1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
    schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago

    I've heard it's been said to women at least
    that if you meet a guy who you are so attracted to that you want to go to bed with them immediately--most likely they are not for you.  That you will not have a healthy relationship.
    But that you should be friends first....

    What's the combo for chemistry and friendship??? roll In other words, what is the best combination to have for a good mate.

    You may deliberate wink

    Also, would you Ever have sex with someone you have no attraction for? Why? And what would you do, if you feel in love w/ someone you considered "ugly" or unnattractive, and then fell out of love--which eventually will happen (the honeymoon phase).

    1. Cagsil profile image59
      Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      This describes uncontrollable lust. If one gives into this desire, then the man is most likely, depending on the sex itself, to not maintain any sort of relationship.

      I would go out on a limb to say that for most men it is about the chase than it is about the sex itself.
      Yes, a good starting point would be friends first.
      It would be healthy to be attracted to the individual, but not to the point where you cannot control yourself own bodily functions.
      Been there, done that. Why? Too much alcohol. lol
      To fall in love- there must be something about them that brought on that feeling, and apparently it wasn't based on attractiveness or "ugly"(as you put it). And, if you fell out of love- it most likely wouldn't change anything, because that something feature will still exist.

      Just my thoughts on your questions.

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
        schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        that sounds like a very good explanation to me.
        Thankyou for making sense of my question smile
        Your advice is very good!

        1. Cagsil profile image59
          Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          You're welcome. I'm glad I could be of some help. wink

          The questions went unanswered for 72 minutes when I finally saw it. lol

          1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
            schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            I did basically have the same thoughts as you, but it feels nice to have someone say it back even clearer smile

    2. Stevennix2001 profile image81
      Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I honestly never heard of this saying before, but it kind of sounds like superstitious nonsense if you ask me. As anyone will tell you about relationships, it takes some sort of initial attraction to ignite the relationship at first, or the attraction has to take some sort of effect.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all relationships are based solely on physical attraction, as it could just as easily be an emotional attraction as well.  The point is there has to be something that draws you to that person initially.

        It depends on the people involved.  I've seen some people go out on a first date, then immediately hit it off right away.  Or, I'll often find people who say they've known their wife for years, as a friend, before they ever started dating.  It really depends on the people, but ideally unless you meet someone that you immediately click with, then it's often best to take things slow if your looking for something serious.


        The only person that can answer that is YOU.  What may be a suitable lover for you, may not be ideal for someone else.  If I were you, I'd spend time thinking about the type of guy that you do want to be with first before seeking a new lover.


      First of all, I doubt seriously a person would marry somebody they weren't attracted to on some level, unless you want to bring up arranged marriages, then this kind of sounds silly.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so how would you define ugly?  It's highly subjective, and can't be defined; although the media and capitalism would have you think otherwise with their corporate brainwashings.  However, the truth is, the only way I can see this happening unless the person is freaking drunk or high when they got married, and they were in a place like Vegas where people can get married in a hurry.  That's the only way crap like that could happen.

      Even if it did, I'm sure people probably get annulments all the time there, so it wouldn't be a biggie.  As for me, I only drink on occasion and have never done drugs, so this would never happen to me at all.  Barring some type of arranged marriage, this wouldn't apply to me.

      As far as looks go, I told somebody once on here that appearances really don't matter to me about a girl, as the way I see it.  Beauty fades away over time with age, but a woman's heart and personality will ultimately remain the same, so that's kind of what I look for in a girl.  Seriously, if I had to pick between  some over weight girl with a heart of gold and a playboy centerfold that was a real stuck up b****.  Well, I would tell the playboy centerfold to go to he!!, since she obviously thinks she's better than me.  lol  Then I'd give the other girl a chance, as I said before looks aren't necessarily something I focus on.  It's more about her personality to me if anything else.  Now, if I were to accidentally marry a girl and she turned out to be a b****, then that could lead to a lot of problems....

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
        schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        yeah, true.

        Yeah it's an error to date someone just so you're not lonely....and then find yourself not attarted to them at all.  Ridiculous really.

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image81
          Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

          No, you should never date someone just out of fear of being alone, as I did that once with another girl, and it ended horribly.  That's why it's often important to find someone that you truly want to be first, rather than just being with them out of fear that you may not find someone else.  Sure, you can think that way, but you might end up missing out dating someone that you might truly belong with...

          1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
            schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            I am trying to do that but even now as I and my "person" have decided that we don't want to be together, I haven't found anyone though I'm open and ready

            I don't know when or how

            but I'm not going to be alone for a long time

            that would be unimagineable...

            1. Stevennix2001 profile image81
              Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

              well schoolgirl, you have to be happy with yourself before you jump into an immediate relationship; otherwise you'll be codependent on the other person which could be bad if that person is manipulative and/or abusive.  However, for what it's worth, I'm sure you'll meet a great guy out there.  One, that I'm sure will appreciate you, as you have a lot more to offer a guy than you might think.  Heck, just ask anyone that knows you well on hubpages, as most of the people that I've seen on here, had nothing but good things to say about you.  smile

              1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
                schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                You're 100% correct....and I appreciate very much what you are trying to say or said really.  [Honestly} I know I am really good but growing up w/ a father like mine puts ?doubt?or difficulty in my way.

                I think I will find someone "worthy" soon thou

                Just not a year to two (yikes!)

                Do you think I have to give up all contact with "him" in order to do that?

                1. Stevennix2001 profile image81
                  Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

                  its really up to you to decide that, as I don't know a lot about what's going on with you and your ex; outside of what you said in forums.  Therefore, it's hard to say.  However, if he's still verbally abusive to you, then I think it might be best if you did lose contact with him for a while, as he'll only try to destroy and shatter your self confidence to make himself feel better. 

                  I doubt seriously, it'll take you that long to find another boyfriend, as there's plenty of other suitors out there.  You probably haven't met the guy you want yet, or you might have, and you just haven't realized it's him yet.  Or, he's probably too much of a dumba** to wake up and realize you and him are meant for each other yet. wink  However, if I were you, I'd probably go out more to meet new people.  Heck, I know you said your very religious, then why don't you do some volunteer work for the church.  It's a great way to earn a tax break, while helping others, and you'll meet other people that you might have similar interests with.  Anyways, I hope this helps, but you should never allow what others say about you run your life okay.

                  Trust me, I lived most of my life like that, and I'm barely starting to learn to say "Screw you" to the people that want to control me and bring me down with them. lol  sorry, im in a bit of a rebellious mood tonight.  wink  lol However, you get what I mean.  The point is, you shouldn't care too much about what others think about you okay, as you truly do have to offer a person.  Heck, I'm sure the lucky guy that you do end up with will be very lucky to be with you.  In fact, I'm damn near sure of it. smile

  2. 0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    I would go out on a limb and dare to say for many women it is much more about the play [chase] and hunt than the sex smile

    1. Cagsil profile image59
      Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      That's highly possible too Kimberly. lol


      Btw- thank you for the new picture. smile lol lol lol

  3. nikipa profile image13
    nikipaposted 6 years ago

    I agree with Kimberly! smile

    1. Cagsil profile image59
      Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      And, I'm not a bit surprised Niki. tongue smile Hope your well. smile

      1. nikipa profile image13
        nikipaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Hi Gags! I am ok, thanks! Hope you are ok as well... Great topic here big_smile

        1. Cagsil profile image59
          Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          I'm glad to hear you're doing well Niki and as for the topic? Well, that still remains to be seen. lol lol lol

          1. nikipa profile image13
            nikipaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Whatever it is I like your position...  :p

  4. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
    schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago

    I sorta miss my ex, he was gorgeous and we had the best sex

    1. Cagsil profile image59
      Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Had the best sex? And, what exactly are you comparing it to? hmm

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
        schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        all the other men duh!

      2. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
        schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        hey do you like my new profile pic? cute huh! lol i love kitties!!

        1. Cagsil profile image59
          Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          Try playing that sort kittie and you are not likely to live much past the attempt. lol

          1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
            schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            Does that mean you want me to change it? lol

            1. Cagsil profile image59
              Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              Not at all. Just think about the real thing and how long you would last if you attempted to play with it? That's all. lol

              1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
                schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                wow. tricky words. impressed lol

                1. Cagsil profile image59
                  Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                  I mean, if you really want to get into it....what "kittie" are we talking about? lol lol If you played with the other "kittie", as in my most entertaining thought presently running through my mind, then most men wouldn't be able to perform up to standard that oneself would be able to provide. wink

                  1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
                    schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

                    Ahh so you mean I couldn't excite the "kittie" ? lol
                    wait.. maybe I got that twisted..hmm

          2. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
            schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            aww you called me kittie smile
            I had to change my profile pic and it was one of my selections tongue
            what do you say? you don't want to play? hmm

            say the word and I'll change it on accord

  5. salt profile image65
    saltposted 6 years ago

    Falliing in love is wonderful. Making sure that you are aware of your own safety is paramount as you get to know someone. Ive learnt from experience, it doesnt matter how long youve known them, if your invited for coffee for a first date, have coffee in a public place. Dont be led anywhere you dont want to go. Mobile phones and girlfriends are wonderful things. YOu can always call one to get you out of trouble. A good self defence course doesnt hurt either.

    Just be aware of the tricks. Even if you know someone stay in a public place until you know you will be safe. IT IS YOUR SAFETY THATS IMPORTANT FIRST!!!

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
      schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Hi salt
      nicely put
      hey is "salt" afte the movie? Loved that movie, she was like a female bond! smile

  6. 0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    Isn't this thread about sex appeal, a physical element, attractive to you?  How does love and relationships come to play

    confused hmm:

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image77
      schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      um,
      well,
      it is about sex appeal
      but sometimes sex appeal is one of the factors in a relationship where love and relationships play, and some of us need to sort out what's important and what's not, you know what I mean?
      So, it's a combo really as I think I stated in the OP statement.

 
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