I'm so frustrated! I tell my boyfriend of 2 years that I really want him to come to my work christmas party. I told him I cant wait to introduce him to my higher ups. (quick background: He loves to shop and buys themost expensive stuff and dresses to the "9" all the time). He shows up to pick me up in a wrinkled cotton "ive been outside chopping wood all day" looking shirt. He said "oh I look like such a bum, sorry I just got out of the gym and hung out with "n", his best friend, and lost track of time and didnt go home to change. He was supposed to pick me up for the party at 630 and I called and reminded him at 430 so i dont understand why he couldnt go make himself presentable during that 2 hour window.
I just dont understand because even if he is just coming over my house to watch a movie he is always dressed so nicely and the one time its important to me that he is presentable he doesnt even seem to care.
I didnt say anything about it because I figured, you know its not worth me making him feel badly or getting worked up about it because at let he showed up.
Fast forward to later this evening. My friend texts me and informs me that there will be an eclipse tonight. I am pretty excited and I know my boyfriend likes that sort of stuff as well, so I call him and let him know. We start talking about random stuff and I ask him if he found out whether he had to work New Years or not. He says he doesnt have to work and that "n" asked him to hang out. I replied jokingly "so I guess you'll be kissing "n" at midnight then?" . He said "ya I guess so" (totally joking though cause "n" is a guy and he isnt into that sort of stuff.) "N" has just dumped his 7th girlfriend that I've known of in the part 2 years that I've been dating my boyfriend and told my boyfriend they need to have a guys new years eve.
I am all about friend time. I think its important that he has his friend only time and I have my friend only time but Im 28 and I have never had that new year kiss at midnight because Ive always worked in the service industry and have worked every new years. So this year I figured well I have the night off and the one i love has the night off, maybe ill get my special moment. I tried to explain and he said fine i'll stay with you, but I dont want him to "have to " stay with me, I want him to "want to" be with me.
I'm so annoyed and I feel like maybe my expectations are too high or something. He is a great guy and has been beside me through a lot. Sometimes I just feel like i'm not as important to him as he is to me and it hurts my feelings. Am I being out of line or am i turning into a crazy girlfriend with high expectations?
He's a guy!!!!
Guys are like that. You want him to go, you asked him to go, he said yes. (if I got that right). So, what's the problem? The detail that you "want him to want to, on his own", I presume?
I'd say take what you can get. No matter what he does from now on won't be good enough because you initiated the response.
Let me tell you, that after nearly 32 yrs of marriage, I still don't do it just right.
I say, give the guy a break. Tell him how happy you are that he's going with you. Make him feel like he NAILED it!
some men just dont care to impress. You find some points about him frustrating.... but men are like that..... Love him or leave him the way he is, don't try too hard to change him, he sounds cool to me.
Sounds like you should dump him. That party was important for you and he didn't want to be there so he rebelled by being passive aggressive and looking like a slob at the party when you told him about it in advance. As for New Year's Eve, it sounds like he's grudgingly spending that important night with you, you're better off being someone who want to be with you and works to help make you look good to your boss.
Just my 2 cents.
by palmieri285 years ago
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