I know that I will get my heart broken again. I am not stupid, I'm in love. Well, that makes me pretty damn stupid anyways doesn't it?
I always trusted her, no one else but I did trust her. I get a feeling deep in my stomach when I feel as though something isn't right. My heart begins to race and I feel very sick. But she always assured me that I had nothing to worry about. Well I may as well me psychic because every time I get that feeling something is actually wrong. Cuddling, holding hands, talking all lovey dovey to someone else? Yes. And after that ordeal was over I discovered messages. Messages of her talking dirty with a different person, calling her pet names and all of that crap. And she always has a new excuse. The first girl she claimed she went along with it so that her friends wouldn't turn against her and the second girl she insisted she was using to make the first girl jealous and get her to back off. But neither of them should have gotten that far.
I know I'm screwed up; I love too much, wish too hard and trust way too easily. But after everything I have reluctantly forgiven her for, she accuses me of cheating on a regular basis. I trust too easily and she is incapable of trusting at all.
I hate love. It always seems to do more harm than good. I know she's going to leave me soon or break my heart far beyond any possible repair. If it weren't for me wanting nothing more in this world than to be with her then I wouldn't be facing my death sentence. Those eyes are evil; the devil's eyes in disguise. But it's too late; I'm in too deep. And this time I won't come out alive.
Are you seeking help or sympathy? We are all on the journey of self progression which includes many hardships and disappointments along the way. For this reason sympathy I cannot and will not afford another individual.
If it's help you are seeking that's different. I've no idea of your age but it sounds as if you still need maturing. Sever this relationship before that person does it to you. Focus your energies on schooling and building up your confidence. Focus on the future which purpose is to raise up a family worthy of your name.
You're not stupid just seriously dependent on others for self purpose, love and acceptance. The adversary and his hosts take on many faces. In your case, though, the true adversary takes shape in the form of dependence and low self confidence and esteem. That will damage you far greater than "stunning" revelations about a significant other. That's where the true deceit lies.
Stand and brush the dust off. Go forth and take charge of your life.
by sandra rinck6 years ago
Before ya'll come out with calling me blasphemous devil worshiper, deceived etc... hear me out a second because I do want to ask something I think is important. In the book of Genesis, something I think most...
by JarrodHaze8 years ago
The prime issue here is the taxation of illegal immigrants, and that they actually ARE taxed... and how some of them are actually paying more in taxes than if they were legal...
by Slarty O'Brian5 years ago
There are a lot of reasons to think that the god of the Jews and the god Christianity and Islam is actually the devil, ruler and creator of the earth. Jesus tells us this very thing in some Gnostic texts. There may be...
by Zelkiiro3 years ago
Let's begin with a simple premise: You are God. You've created the universe and everything and you're just feeling so damn good about all of it that you decide to take a nap. You wake up from your nap to realize that...
by shonaa17 months ago
My name is Sona, I got married to my boyfriend in Feb 2011. We were extremely happy for the first year. We both took out time for each other. Did activities together . went out on small vacations, partying etc.I adore...
by Brian6 years ago
I'm just curious if anyone has ever fallen head over heels in love with someone after only knowing them for a short time. I was camping at a gay campground over the past week, and I met a very handsome man, who I felt...
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.