Who can I talk to?

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   petertheknightposted 13 years ago

   So, I am beginning to calm down, but I am really unsure what to do about this.  I need someone to talk to, but I'm not sure if it such a great idea to talk to a LDS (Mormon) therapist about my problems of "homosexuality confusion".  I have met this guy once and I'm sure he would be great about it, but I really do not want to hear that Jesus can help me and all that I just need to work some things out and so I am trying to find somewhere to go.  It is a lot more then just the whole being gay thing it is also overworking myself, but I am overworking myself for obvious reasons as I want to try and push that aside and just move on but I am having really weird thoughts and I don't know where to go.  I am afraid of see anyone other then this LDS person because everyone else tries to drug me up and I don't need that.  It only made things worse in the past.  God, I need some help.

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      WryLiltposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      From what I've heard, few religions are openly happy to accept homosexuality, instead saying it's something that's bad or can be gotten rid of.
      
      It might be a good idea to either talk to a non religious counselor or see if you can get in contact with another homosexual who may be able to help you with coming out.

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         petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I think that perhaps it would be better to just go with the first option because I really don't know what I'm doing and I'm slightly confused, so maybe I'm not....but it does seem to hint that.
         
         LDS people are usually pretty good about it, but maybe I should see someone else, but I don't know anyone else except maybe my college has someone I can talk to.

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            couturepopcafeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I don't know how old you are or if you have previous sexual experience.  It's not uncommon to question your sexuality.  I know i beat this drum to death, but it always bears repeating.  If you are confused, check your nutritional intake.  Often, lack of choline in the brain will cause confusion, lack of decision making, distorted perception on issues that would be otherwise very clear to someone else.  Take a serious multiple vitamin, mineral complex first.  Make sure it contains calcium, magnesium, vitamin D, E, C, iron, selenium, boron, chromium, copper, zinc, all the B vitamins. 
            
            It's very easy for the body to go on while slowly being depleted of what it needs.  We often don't even recognize that we have changed.  Get your brain the nutrients it needs.  Give it 90 days.  And drink plenty of water.  The brain is made up of a large percentage of water.  Dehydration can cause confusion.  Once you do this and can think more clearly, you will know the right path to take.  Don't make light of this nutrition thing.  Get off soft drinks, white flour products like bread and sweets.  Email me if you need nutrition information.  And don't worry.  Don't make any decisions yet.

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               petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I eat very healthy.  Vegetables and fresh fruit.  Today I had Barley Grass and carrots, tomatoes, and celery.  Also a bowl of corn flakes with almond milk.

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                  couturepopcafeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  That's great.  You may still need more.  Sometimes we have a deficiency of something for whatever reason and we're not getting it from foods.  Look up choline and find out how to get more.  You can buy supplements or powder.

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            wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            No, the LDS church is not good at all about understanding or accepting gay people - just ask those in California that watched as the church put forth massive effort and funding to prevent them from gaining the same rights and acceptance as "straight" people enjoy.
            
            As Wry states, few churches are.  Another professional that does not have a religious axe to grind would be far more beneficial.
            
            If you are questioning your own sexuality, not knowing where you actually stand, discussions with gay people of both sexes could be beneficial, but be aware that many (not all, but many) will push their own view just as churches do so.  You will have to filter any and all information very carefully.

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               petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Yes, I understand that.  Thank you!

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         keith36posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I think religion is more concerned with your inner person, outer one is none of its business. but still, yes, contact the relevant people

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      errandsinnigeriaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      talk to me, ask me anything and see how great i respond!

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      paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What do you think about when you give your shower a happy ending?
      
      Therein lies your answer, which will end your confusion.
      
      Whatever the answer is, is.
      
      Accept it and move on.
      
      No therapy needed.

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         petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Simple enough, but my mind is a bit more complex than your interpretation of an orgasm.

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            paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            The complexity of the mind has nothing to do with gayness, non-gayness, heterosexuality, or whatever. You asked about gayness (i.e.: sex), so that was the question I answered.
            
            Just because you may have a finely nuanced mind doesn’t mean you are gay. If you do have a finely nuanced mind, and you don’t fantasize about men; then in all probability you are not gay. Unless you think Einstein was gay.
            
            Do not let anyone con you into thinking you are gay just because you happen to be an intelligent, sensitive human being.

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               petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Ok...I understand what you are saying now.  Thank you.  But I do think about men and fantasize when I ...well, you get the picture.

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                  the pink umbrellaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  so maybe you are a bisexual, or maybe you are just gay. Whoever you are, be you the the fullest extent. love yourself. If you have and confliction about it, or have other things you want to talk about : pastel.umbrella@gmail.com
                  
                  im on facebook as stephanie-jade

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      stoneyyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      There's nothing wrong with you.  Human sexuality runs the gamut from homosexuality to heterosexuality to bisexuality.
      
      If you want to get into the whole Jesus thing-he's the problem, not the solution.  What's worse is he not only scripted your angst (1 Thess 5: 15-17) but you're supposed to thank him for it.
      
      Relax (I know, easy to say). You're in good company.  After all, billboards state:  "Real Men Love Jesus."
      
      The obvious reply is; "But Straight Men Prefer Women."   
      
      The Abrahamic religions are infamous for further abusng the victims by blaming them for being victimized.  An example is a lady who was raped was somehow 'asking' for the assault-which is rubbish from start to finish.
      
      A persons sexual orientation is of the 'vaunted state' as to how they part their hair or the brand of cola they prefer.
      
      If you want to talk, send me an email.

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      Mrs. J. B.posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Talk to someone that is of nondenominational faith. They are usually very open minded and will help you get through this stressful time.

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      Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Listen to your conscience.
      Fill your life with the right things.
      The fact that you're leaning toward religious counseling means even more that you should listen to your conscience instead of trying to find someone who will condone your temptations.
      Jesus CAN help you.  Why do you rebel at that?

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   donotfearposted 13 years ago

   Your best choice would be to speak to an LPC (licensed counselor) outside of the church. What you're going through is difficult and you need validation right now, not condemnation or an evasive attitude toward the real issue. The fact is you are struggling with this and you need someone to speak to you directly about the turmoil, not talk AROUND it and just say "WE'll pray for you" or "this is wrong".  A professional licensed clinician knows how to approach this in an objective and caring way.

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      petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, but how much do one of those cost with no medical insurance?

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         petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Believe me, I would like to speak with one.

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   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   I agree with the advice you've received so far - a Religious therapist is not what you need!  I'm guessing that since you posted this question here that you are rather limited in your options.  Is there a referral service where you are? 
   
   I'm trying to format this correctly:  In some situations you are able to research a medical provider, and be informed of their credentials.  I'm thinking if you were to research the providers in your area you would be able to discover one (or more, hopefully!) that are not originally from your area, and would possibly not have a religious affiliation to push. 
   
   I'm thinking the credentials would tell you in that someone who went to college in a far away state would be more likely to not have a religious agenda.  Does that make sense?  I hope so.  Good luck!

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   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

   Btw, I lived in San Francisco for 10 years. Though this “cured” any homophobic tendencies I may have had, I’m still homophobic enough to follow up my previous post by clarifying that I am not gay. If the answer to the previous question is indeed “gayness”, and you are still concerned about it, then talk to some gay people.

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   knolyourselfposted 13 years ago

   Seems to me the best thing would be to talk to gay people rather than people who are and don't know anything about it, except by intellectual abstraction. How about gay on-line forums? As an aside, it is not uncommon to have homosexual feelings, but unless one has had real experience they may be only that.

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   petertheknightposted 13 years ago

   Hey everyone!  Thank you...I actually struck gold this morning.  A new friend of mine commented on my status and was wondering what was wrong and so we got on skype and he told me he was gay, and so he talked me through it and calmed me down.  Made sure I didn't label the "crazy" on me and proceeded to educate me a little.  And so I feel much better and I'm actually going to talk with him this afternoon person to person cause he went through a similar thing too except he was a Baptist.
   
   I am feeling okay...now...tired so I need to lay down but I have to get out of my parents house soon to get away from my mom.

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      petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Oh, my parents and family do not know, and only 2 friends of mine know.

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         rexyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         ....l like your words in admitting  to God that you need help.....an.... he is there to help you......this is the postive way to think.....
         
         You said that you do not want to be drugged.....this is the negative....anything negative for your body (eg ..drugged is not good for you).....
         negative thoughts can make you feel sick....and unstable.....
         
         therefore the postive is the right way to clearing your mind, you will find inner cleansing, peace.. and love...if you find just even 5 minutes to close your eyes and be with him and pray...your prayers will be answered...you will find your inner peace and love within you.......and day by day....you will find this healing.......

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            petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you.  I don't take drugs, so that is a positive thing.  Thanks for your comments.

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   Joy56posted 13 years ago

   Is their no family member who you can discuss this issue with??????

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      petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Actually, I talked to my cousin last night.  He brought it up cause he knew I was really upset.

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   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

   I hope my previous post didn’t arrive too late...

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      petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      No worries.

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   petertheknightposted 13 years ago

   Well, I got out of the mental hospital today.  I am officially trying to find a new place to live.  I only went to the hospital because my mom wanted me to and drove me to that point.  She still doesn't know about the whole gay thing, and I am just about ready to lose it.  I bought a $100 hotel room tonight and hanging with a fuckin' girl who thinks I'm going to fuck her.  Good friend, but she needs to get some things straight.
   
   Also, I got laid off today..fired...forced to quit whatever you call it...so I am a little depressed but I am ready for something new.  Seems I have some funny stories to write hubs on...uggg.

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      passingthewordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hey, Looks like things are rough for you. Just want to give you some support, some of my thoughts. Take it or leave it.
      I am a Christian and i have to tell you that i believe "homosexual" acts are a sin. But so is pre marital sex, lusting, cheating on a spouse etc........ but none of these are the unforgivable sin. you are not a bad person be cause you think you are gay, God still loves you. He does not like what we may be doing but he does love us.
      A lot of your struggles are coming from the spiritual realm. You should read Ephesian 6 were it talks about the armor of God.
      11Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
      12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
      The devil is attacking you and putting these things in your head. and this is not just you. he is doing this to me he is doing this to everyone.
      You have to learn how the devil and is demons works. They are masters of havoc and they are good at it.  They find our weak points and they attack it And they keep on . It says in the Word that when you cast a demon out He roams around and when he can't find anyone to tempt he will return to you with 7 demons worst then himself. But there is a helper and he is Jesus. He has given us the tools to fight these spirits, and it is in the bible. How did Jesus fight off the Devil when he was being tempted on the mount? he used the words from the Bible and Satan ran. When Michael the arc angle was disputing with Satan about the body of Moses, Michael used the Word of God to fight him and Satan ran.
      God is good and you should speak to a Christian about these attacks you are going through. You don't have to live like this. God has put all evil under our feet and long as we use his authority. But you need to learn how to us it. Pick up the Bible, not the Book of Mormon or the JST, the bible and learn how to conquer this. The lord says In Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
      God bless and fight the Good fight.
      PS you should Read up on a Gospel singer named Donnie Mcclurkin. You two have similar stories.

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         petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I appreciate your thoughts, but I'm not really interested in religious discussion.  If you look over carefully, you will find that what you have posted is both extreme and a little crazy in my opinion.  I don't believe that demonic spirits are after me and that "Satan" is working against me to bring me down...I'm sorry but that is complete and utter nonsense.  The only person that can bring me down or lower my standards is myself.  I am the one who chooses right and wrong and it is my thoughts.. not "Satan's" that influence my decisions.
         
         I believe that love is love.  God is love, so he loves me for who I am and if I want to give that love to another man then that is fine.  I'm not going around having sex with just anyone...it doesn't work like that.  It is about committed relationships and even marriage.

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            passingthewordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            ok. just trying to help.
            good luck to you

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               petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Thank you for being so nice!  I like people that are honest and not pushy.  That is a good thing about you.

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                  jackscottposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  I would strongly urge you not to talk to anyone with a religious axe to grind or indeed anyone else who takes a negative view of homosexuality. They will not help you. You are on a personal journey of discovery. People may tell you that to be gay is a choice. This is false. The only choice anyone has is whether or not to express their sexuality physically and emotionally. Surely there are charitable organisations, helplines, forums, etc that you can talk to or join?
                  
                  I assume that you are quite young. Maybe you are gay, maybe you're not. Only you can decide and you don't need to hurry. Your life, your choice. Best of luck!

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                     petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     I just don't understand why I feel like this...I mean...isn't it unnatural?  I mean are not men and women suppose to get together in order to produce and be a couple.  It's just I felt that is how it is suppose to be.  That is what I have been told all of my life.

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                        jackscottposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        Only  you can decide what's right (or natural) for you. They are plenty of examples of homosexuality in the animal kingdom. Human sexuality takes many forms. It's always been so and always will be. There are too many people who conform because of social, community or family pressure. They often end up bitter and miserable.

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    Cheeky Girlposted 13 years ago

    Sounds to me like you need to talk to yourself.
    
    If you suspect it, your attitude to the same sex will tell you in about 5 minutes. Do you want to accept it? What is there about it that scares you or makes you uncertain?
    
    Most men or women are usually worried about the family friends neighbors, peers, that stuff. It's a big thing to come out. It's far worse to stay in the closet. How many relationships have you had? One? None? Or is it in the early stages?
    
    Just be real about it, and be honest about your feelings. The rest all follows that...
    
    And don't get hung up about it. It is a good thing. Saying things here is a good step...

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       petertheknightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I talk to myself all the time but I find sometimes that is more hurtful cause I don't want to down myself about this.  I do write in a journal though.

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    Astra Nomikposted 12 years ago

    It's amazing how we delude ourselves and make excuses for our own actions. I used to wonder who should I talk to? I spoke about it (sexual preference) to my Mum in an indirect way. She got it immediately. My Father less so.
    
    How long do you want the list of people to be? I was out less than two years ago and I am still telling people. Ha. Sometimes we are telling some friends and we just give up telling them cos they choose not to listen, for whatever reason.
    
    Tell your closest friends first, the most trustworthy ones. Sometimes it's a lot easier to tell complete strangers than it is to tell friends, as there are less "expectations" in the air. Do it one step at a time, it is a slow process...

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    recommend1posted 12 years ago

    Most of my gay friends went through a period of confusion and or ridiculous pressure from ignorant people around them.  Most of them found peace when they had completed their journey from one place to the other, and most of them found a new relationship with their families and friends.
    
    Treat this as just a problem to work through where you need to decide who you are, how you are going to live your life from now etc.  Find good friends who are not blinded by ignorance or fear and step up to a new way of life.
    
    I am just a sympathetic straight guy, hope you get it sorted.

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