Sometimes I think we've hit a plateau with gender roles we may not get past in this regard in society. What do you think? I grew up in a "man as head of the household" family structure, but I don't think money had much to do with that. Money is paper...does it really matter who makes more?
When my husband and I first got together, I was the one making the larger salary, I paid for more than half of everything and it didn't bother me to do so. I think he felt a little odd about it at first, but it was never a big issue between us. As time went by, I started backing down the management ladder (due to the toll stress was taking on me) while he started climbing up it. Being in charge doesn't stress him out like it did me. Now he makes more than triple what I do and pays for nearly everything. I think that he is proud that he is totally self-sufficient, but wouldn't mind it if I were able to contribute a little more than I can. As long as there is enough money for everything we need, and some of what we want ,it isn't a big deal who is making it.
It only matters to those who have ego problems. Otherwise, it should not make a difference. People walk a different path. What motivates one, doesn't always motivate another.
The relationship should be able to survive regardless.
Strong point about being motivated by different things. I know for sure that my ambition drives stem, in part, from the fear of marrying a guy who might become an abusive a-hole. It was always important to me to be able to afford to leave if I had to. My day job completely messes with my mind ;-).
It matters a lot to me! If she would just double her salary, I could stay home and play on the forums all day.
I keep hoping my wife (a real estate agent) will start pulling in the big bucks so I can retire. Oh what joy that will be when that happens. She's good - sooner or later that will pay off.
I think I might just love you guys, and laughing out loud at Wilderness. Great replies!
I'm not a guy, but I used to make almost twice what my husband made. He never had a problem with it. He was relieved that neither of us had to work overtime anymore. And then I stayed home and had a baby, and I think he *still* wishes I made more than him!
The way I am with money, I should probably marry an accountant.
I was in this position, and I was very proud of my Wife. She worked hard gained her promotions and was worth every penny of it. She proved Herself.
I looked on it as a stement of acceptance in her company for Her. I though and still do think that she is good at what she does, smart and a hard worker. Never though of it any other way actualy.
Want to have fun. Try having a household where nobody is earning anything. Both people are unemployed. (Like at my home.)Yet, both of you had good jobs, but, just no longer have them.
Watch out for the blame game. It will begin shortly.
I hope things look up for you both. It's the worst to be able and willing to work, and not having a position--not to mention nerve-wrecking. Your relationship is the priority now though. Tough times are way tougher without the one you love on your side.
When we met I earned a lot less, then I made a lot more, and now I don't work at the job anymore. My husband liked me making more but we still have not adjusted to his new role as sole provider. By the time we do, I may (GOD WILLING) be taking off with my own business. I have my issues with gender roles and I come from a long line of women who are too independent for their own good.
My ideal is a 50/50 partnership. There is no room for ego there.
...if i was the man - 'wow...aren't i lucky?...now what can i do to make things more comfortable at home?..ooooh the weekends must be for fun if she isn't working - how can i make it fun for us?'
...as the woman - 'wow...i sure do work hard...but hubbie is smilin'and he works hard too and knows how to allow me 'down time', dinner is on the table, my clothes are cleaned, house looks good, it's all good!...and yeehaw - let's take off somewhere nice for a break'
I wish I had a LOT of money and power.. Just like the thought anymore.. Not looking for no guy to support me either maybe that has a lot to do with it.
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