I know a few of you out there are familiar with postulating and a hub I read recently inspired me to start this thread.
Those of you who know me a bit already are aware that I am somewhat commitmentphobic and have steadily avoided commited relationships over the last several years and have even avoided women I've been genuinely attracted to simply because I felt I couldnt avoid being tied down if I didn't avoid them or push them away. I've dated a few women over the past year that I specifically knew wouldnt work out so that I wouldnt have to deal with it moving forward. I've been living in a shell some call a comfort zone and it is nice and cozy and warm. Now, however, I'm realizing that I've been selling myself short by doing these things. As much as I would like to change certain things about my life like my job situation and my spiritual situation, I feel that a specific type of love is something that I have deliberately avoided and is something I am truly missing. It is the avoidance that is causing me to realize how much I miss it.
Therefore, I wanted to declare to the world (or HubPages, atleast) that it is time for me to start to open my heart again and let go of my rigidity and allow myself to be silly (perhaps opening this thread will help).
I know there is a woman out there who fits me like a glove and can't wait to love and cherish me and be loved and cherished back. I have no real idea as to who this is so shutting myself out to 99.9% of the women I see is surely not helpful. Opening up in person is very difficult for me and so any advice is helpful. However, I opened this thread mainly as a way for you (whomever you might be) to share your own experiences if you've dealt with a similar situation and how you dealt with it and how it worked for you.
I would like to say first that it takes a strong person to admit the need for change in oneself even on paper, so congratulations on this new road. This may help...you will find your unconditional true-"glove", but prepare your heart a bit first to avoid being a victim of unhealthy love and/or the reverse of your past habits of pushing away love. Your heart is open and filled with love, it needs the total acceptance of one now who can return it to you. Get a baby bird, cat, dog, or adopt a pet or two. I am sincere. When I was in your place 10 yrs ago I adopted a baby bird and have had others these past years, but found my true-"glove" very soon after that. The pets accepted and returned all the love I needed and gave to them; I was able to keep my heart protected and sane until I found my soulmate.
I like your advice. Although my lifestyle doesnt really allow me to have a pet, I can appreciate the validity of this statement. Perhaps a pet project like a volunteer gig would help. But I definitely see the value in this especially when I encounter people in my neighborhood who are with their dogs. Dogs, especially retrievers and labs, just jump all over me.
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