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Deep down, I think I know i'm gay

  1. 60
    Rabgixposted 5 years ago

    But every now and then I feel straight, or at least fool myself into believing it.

    Why can't I just accept this

    1. IzzyM profile image85
      IzzyMposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Are you very young?

      If you are gay, you will know, if not now then soon enough.

      1. 60
        Rabgixposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I'm 19

        1. IzzyM profile image85
          IzzyMposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Oh to be 19 again!

          You might not be gay you know, you might just be confused.
          However, I'm pretty certain that straight guys don't have this doubt, at 19.

          Take care not to label yourself, stay in doubt until you fall head over heels in love with someone. Then you will know, one way or the other.

          Your sexuality is private, no-one else's business, for as long as you want it to be.

          1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
            MelissaBarrettposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Maybe straight guys might not, but I still have doubts at 30-something.  I'm neither straight nor a guy though. 

            Why apply a label anyway?  Go find someone to love.  If they happen to be a guy, then you will be in a gay relationship.  If they are a girl, you will be in a straight relationship.  Continue process until you are happy.  Then slap a label on the relationship that you want to spend the rest of your life in.

            1. stylezink profile image78
              stylezinkposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              I couldn't agree with you more, MelissaB! That's what I did, when you 'just let it happen' you never know who you'll end up with. I would have never thought at 19 that I would end up being in a relationship with another female. But I did. We've been together for 10 years now.

    2. MelissaBarrett profile image60
      MelissaBarrettposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Maybe bi?  Stranger things have happened.

      1. tata22 profile image62
        tata22posted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Don't confuse your self.  Whether you're straight or gay, you are perfectly fine.  There's nothing wrong to WHO you are...

      2. Sneha Sunny profile image86
        Sneha Sunnyposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I too think that you're confused. Do you ever got attracted to any girl and was truely in love with her?? If yes then you are straight. Topic of gays are too common now. Maybe you think so because you think too much about this topic.. Just be normal. And see. If still you get attracted to a male then maybe you're a gay. Getting attracted doesn't means to be attracted by his personality. People sometimes get attracted to the personality of some people of same sex. That doesn't means that you're a gay. But if you get attracted the other way. If not then you're straight. Just don't think about it much and let everything go on by themselves. You'll discover the truth. smile Be happy smile

      3. brandasaur profile image60
        brandasaurposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Maybe you are not yet sure of yourself. You need to be sure, adjust and accept it smile After all, theres nothing wrong being a gay. goodluck! *pats back

      4. Cagsil profile image82
        Cagsilposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Go have sex with both genders and figure out which one you enjoyed the most. Regardless of what happens, it doesn't really matter, because you're not actually restricted to having one or the other. lol

        1. mega1 profile image81
          mega1posted 5 years ago in reply to this

          I agree with Cags - and what's more, I really think its more important who you choose to love than what sex they are.  I've tried, personally, to keep love out of sex, but it doesn't work for me!  smile

        2. LookingForWalden profile image60
          LookingForWaldenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          I agree, date a girl, date a guy and just roll from there.

          Think about it this way, you have just effectively doubled the amount of people you can date in the world.
          Your odds of finding love have increased substantially.

      5. A Troubled Man profile image60
        A Troubled Manposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Have you written a letter to Dan Savage?

      6. Hollie Thomas profile image61
        Hollie Thomasposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        If you think that you KNOW you are gay, then you do. You didn't say that you think you are gay. The best way forward in my opinion, for what it's worth, is just to live how you want and stop worrying. Everything will come clean in the wash! And this is a good thing. Don't worry smile

      7. 0
        Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        It is unbelievable that people would advise you to experiment!

        Your choice is clear.  Dismiss the confusion (and the confusing responses) and live a straight life the way God intended people to live, or consider homosexuality a viable option and live in rebellion to God's laws and nature's laws.

        1. 60
          Rabgixposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          God's not real. Sorry to break it to you.

          1. 0
            Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Well, that's another choice each person must make, to believe or not believe.

            1. janesix profile image60
              janesixposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              Brenda, homosexuality is natural. deal with it. Get out of fantasyland.

              1. 0
                Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                Temptation is indeed natural.
                So is the tendency, it would seem, for some people to try to persuade others that wrong is right and right is wrong.
                Look, I'm not in an arguing mood right now.  I put forth the Truth to the original poster, after several others gave him some wrong advice.  My work is done.  If yours isn't, then you're free to carry on.  But it's futile to try to persuade me personally.

                1. Cagsil profile image82
                  Cagsilposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                  Being gay or lesbian isn't right or wrong. roll Regardless of your opinion.

                  1. 0
                    Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                    Surely you didn't step in here just to say something redundant instead of profound?
                    Redundancy bores me.  Profundity's much more fun.  Rare, though.

                    1. Cagsil profile image82
                      Cagsilposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                      Okay, how about this- Step off your pedestal and move on. wink

                      Profound enough for you? roll

                  2. 0
                    Emily Sparksposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    Cagsil, it is wrong.  It is not what we say, but rather what God Almighty says.  And yes, He IS real.  Without a shadow of a doubt.

          2. livelonger profile image90
            livelongerposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Immoral advice.

            1. 0
              Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              You should've said that about the posts where people advised the original poster to go experiment with sex with both genders; or hey, just the advice to a 19-year-old to experiment with sex at all, is much more immoral than anything I've said, period.
              And no, talking about God and His laws is not immoral. Why would you even post that?

              1. livelonger profile image90
                livelongerposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                I'd put both of you in the same category: immoral.

                1. 0
                  Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                  I'm sure you would try.

                  1. livelonger profile image90
                    livelongerposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                    How does Jesus feel about people who flout his word and live in second marriages, Brenda? Moral or immoral?

                    1. 0
                      Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                      Depends on whether they're saved or not.  And maybe you remember what the requirements for salvation entails.  I'm pretty sure I've said it enough times.
                      Just to jog your memory, it's
                      r e p e n t a n c e

                      Foul word, that.  At least to the rebellious. Because it requires a change of heart and mind, leading to a change of actions.
                      But awesome word too.  After that, He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west.  F o r g i v e n e s s .   Another most awesome word!

                      1. livelonger profile image90
                        livelongerposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                        So an adulterer can continue to live in an adulterous relationship provided they r e p e n t first?

              2. 0
                Baileybearposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                and what gender should intersex people be attracted to?  Those biologically between male and female

                1. 0
                  Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                  Those are unique and individual cases and should be dealt with as such.  Abnormalities are not an excuse upon which to base an entire society's mores or laws.  They're cases where personal compassion and sympathy and aid should be given, not used as a tool to further the liberal agenda.  That's what's wrong, those people are being used as scapegoats for political activism, their privacy invaded and their rights mishandled.

                  1. LookingForWalden profile image60
                    LookingForWaldenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                    What is the liberal agenda?
                    Equal rights?
                    Equal opportunities?
                    People doing what makes them happy?

                    Or is everything evangelicals don't like the liberal agenda?

                    1. 0
                      Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                      Nope.  The liberal agenda is to call wrong right and right wrong.  Which will eventually lead to a system where nothing is labeled wrong and nothing is labeled right, just opportunity for lawlessness and chaos.
                      Hey, it's not just evangelicals.  It's God who laid out the rules.  In stone, no less.  And just because He's the God of mercy doesn't mean we should deliberately tempt Him.

                      1. LookingForWalden profile image60
                        LookingForWaldenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                        According to the ten commandments rape is ok.

                        I'll take my English common law over ten commandments that don't include rape to rule my country.

                      2. LookingForWalden profile image60
                        LookingForWaldenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                        What specifically do they call right and wrong that is backwards in your eyes?

                  2. 0
                    Baileybearposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                    Abnormalities?  How's that if all fetuses start off intersex?  Gender is not two discrete binary categories but rather a continuum. 

                    So, your sympathy for them - do you think they shouldn't have a partner?

          3. Pcunix profile image89
            Pcunixposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Don't EVER listen to people like Brenda.

            1. waynet profile image46
              waynetposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              Lol Brenda!

              You must kiss Jesus and God for they know all and see all and are your best buds....

          4. 0
            Emily Sparksposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            I totally agree with you, Brenda.  God is very clear on this matter in His Word.  Sodomy is a sin no matter if people are too proud to admit it or not.

            1. jonnycomelately profile image86
              jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              "Sodomy" is something you have a fetish about, is it?  Use the proper term, which can leave no doubt as to what you are talking about. Anal Intercourse.

              Men can do it to men, men can do it to women, animals can do it to other animals. 

              Whoever does it to whom is none of your business, unless someone is forcing YOU into doing it, against your will. 

              By the way, there is no conclusive evidence that it "happened" at Sodom. 

              Oh, again by the way, if you personally were to allow this to happen between others, and you were to turn a blind eye to it, what do you suppose will happen to you on "Judgement Day?"  I personally don't care.  I don't believe there will be a judgement day for me, after my death.  That does not mean I will do unspeakable, cruel things to another person.  Much of the joy obtained from sex is in bringing love and happiness to the partner.  This is something you need to remember whenever you are casting aspersions on anyone's sexual orientation. 

              Drop your judgement.  Only make choices for your self.  That only is your right.

              1. 0
                Emily Sparksposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                Actually, there is evidence "that it happened" at Sodom.  Genesis 19 gives us the story of two angels visiting Lot.  Verses 4 and 5 say the men of Sodom told Lot to bring the two men (unknown to them they were angels) out "that we may know them".  The term "know them" in the Bible refers to sexual intercourse.  This, here, is a picture of sodomy.
                  I am sorry you do not believe in judgment day.  However, whether you do or not, it will happen.  "As it is appointed unto men once to die,but after this the judgment."  God created sex, yes, to be a means of enjoyment and reproduction in the proper restrains of marriage only.
                Whether people believe or not, God's Word stands.  He will judge sodomites, as He will judge the rest of us.

                1. livelonger profile image90
                  livelongerposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  The Sodomites wanted to rape the angels. Their crimes against fellow people, especially guests, were well documented in the Jewish oral tradition. Homosexuality was not one of them.

                  1. 0
                    Emily Sparksposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    You used the term "sodomites", and we are talking about the city of Sodom, so you agree there were sodomites (therefore they were commiting sodomy) in Sodom right?

                  2. 0
                    Emily Sparksposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    You see, I was proving that sodomy did take place in Sodom, and you just verified that such acts took place.

                    1. Pearldiver profile image86
                      Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                      Read what was written... not interpret what you feel you need to invent to win a point.. especially when the real points seem to sail over your head!

                      Perhaps the term Sodomite refers to a person who hailed from Sodom! Have you considered the relevance of that?  sad

                      1. 0
                        Emily Sparksposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                        Maybe you should read whats written.  Ir seems pretty clear to me.  The men of sodom wanted a sexual relationship with the two men/angels.

                    2. livelonger profile image90
                      livelongerposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                      You're kidding, right?

                      A Sodomite is a person from Sodom. Period. In the Bible, they were guilty of acts of cruelty. Christians and Muslims constantly think it was a reference to homosexuality, as if homosexuality was akin to rape.

                      You ignored my question about divorce and adultery.  Why is that, Emily?

                      1. 0
                        Emily Sparksposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                        Because I am still learning, and because I do not know everything (although the Bible has the answers), I do not want to jump into a question that I may not be able to give a satisfactory answer to, therefore I will look into your questions more deeply so I do not just ramble on.  I will get back to you on your questions.

                    3. melbel profile image92
                      melbelposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                      I <3 logical fallacies.

        2. 0
          Princess Pittposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Yes you are. When your mature, you'll understand yourself. Dont stress yourself about accepting it or not. Just let it be. GO with the flow. Because baby...you are born that way. muah.

        3. Stevennix2001 profile image83
          Stevennix2001posted 5 years ago in reply to this

          I tend to agree with everyone here that says you should experiment with both sexes to see which one you like the best, or you can be a bisexual and have the best of both worlds.  No matter what anyone tells you about this situation, you're the only one that's going to have to live with yourself.  So in the end, you just have to do whatever is going to work for yourself, and not worry about what everyone else thinks.  They're not you, so their opinion shouldn't matter.  Just yours should.

        4. paradigmsearch profile image90
          paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Sick of this topic on my screen.

        5. 0
          kimberlyslyricsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          be bi you get 2 in 1 and no confusion!  actually 3 - be proud!

        6. A Thousand Words profile image79
          A Thousand Wordsposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          I agree with everyone else that you should stop putting a label on it, dear. I, personally am very straight, usually... But, don't think about it too much. big_smile Just live your life. Find out who you are, and I'm sure the answer will come to you.

          1. jonnycomelately profile image86
            jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            It's a confusing mixture of choices, isn't it?

            On the one hand we have a call for freedom:  do "it" when you want to, because it's good for you.  It's good exercise, healthy, it relieves stress, etc.

            On the other hand, we know that Sex, i.e., the hunt, the chase, the expectation, the hormones, the act itself, is one of the most powerful stimulii in our lives - hunger, thirst, survival being some of the other powerful ones. 

            Sex, which is linked to our genetic drive for survival of the species, is biological. We do not have to apologise for it. It's inherent, and if we try to deny it's existence that usually drives us into all manner of dilemmas, with associated substitutes giving rise to some anti-social behaviours.

            So, in our need for a "civilised" code of behaviour, there needs to be some careful management of our desires if we are to live sustainably and cooperatively.  This applies regardless of sexual orientation and focus.

            Whether one is hetero- or homosexual, there is still a need for responsibility.  There is always another person to be taken into account.... what he or she is feeling; what are his or her needs?  How does MY action or attitude reduce or enhance that other person's life?  If I were to force my desires on a person who had strong religious beliefs, contrary to mine, that would be totally immoral.  Please remember also that the reverse is true. 

            Live and let live, responsibly, caringly.

            1. A Thousand Words profile image79
              A Thousand Wordsposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              Good answer!

        7. 0
          Sophia Angeliqueposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          It's really, really difficult to accept something when there is a lot of resistance to it by the majority of people. You might also have heard negative things spoken about gays and you don't want to be thought of that way.

          So, here's the thing.

          Nobody is their right mind is going to try and have gay feelings when they know how many difficulties it can cause in life - especially when one is young.

          If you're attracted to your own gender, you probably are gay.
          If you're attracted to men and women, you're probably bisexual.
          If you're attracted to the  opposite gender, you're heterosexual.

          And if anyone wants to convince you that you're a sinner and it's a choice, go out and buy the latest national geographic on twins and just how much we're genetic products. Nature wins. Nurture loses. smile

        8. qeyler profile image80
          qeylerposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Why do you feel you are Gay?  Is it because you like things that you are told 'men' don't like or don't like what men do?  I can think of a woman (she's in her 50s now) who was certain she was a lesbian and has lived as a lesbian and is not happy but doesn't know anything else.

          She's been under psychological assessment for decades and just recently she's realised that she isn't sexually attracted to women, she wants security of friendship and has always been untrusting of men due to early experiences.

          It is too late for her, and she now is like; well, if I wasn't encouraged when I was 19 to see myself as...

          So figure out whether you're admiring a man or feeling sexual about him.
          Cause there's a difference.

          1. wordscribe43 profile image93
            wordscribe43posted 4 years ago in reply to this

            I can't imagine how it's "too late for her"...  It's never too late!  But, being in your 50's doesn't mean your life is over.  smile  Heck, I'm rapidly approaching my fifth decade.  In some ways I feel like my life is just beginning as the "real me".

            1. qeyler profile image80
              qeylerposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              Her 'whole life' from her twenties has been as a lesbian.  All her friends are lesbians, all her outlets are lesbian.  She has no men friends, and there's a wedge behind her and straight people.  She packaged herself as a lesbian if she 'butched down' people wouldn't recognise her.

              1. wordscribe43 profile image93
                wordscribe43posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                I definitely agree it would be hard, but it CAN be done.  I suppose it's a choice of picking the lesser of two evils:  living somewhat of an unauthentic life with the accompanying emotions/self-identity/self-actualization difficulties VERSUS recreating your identity in midlife with all the accompanying social and emotional repercussions.  Not an easy choice!  I feel for her, can't imagine what choice I might make in her shoes.  sad

                1. jonnycomelately profile image86
                  jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  Just came in on the thread....

                  It is a delicate subject, even more delicate whenever we think we aught to "help a person change...."  Maybe that person, with a strong same-sex leaning, to the point where all her friends are lesbian, does not need anyone around her telling her what she "should" be.

                  It has been said here, and many other places, many times, that one's sexual preference/orientation is not something you choose, like picking a particular apple off a tree.  For most of us anyway. 

                  Just as an example of how difficult it would be to change, IF one wanted to try it, wordscribe43, you mention in your Profile how "..Math and I are incompatible."  Can you imagine anyone tell you that you MUST become proficient at maths?  Probably (correct me if I a wrong) your whole being is not attuned to mathematics.  It's not the way your mind works, right?  Anyway, there are plenty of others in the world who can fill the gap in maths ability, so you can turn yourself to things you ARE good at. 

                  Similarly, we gay/lesbian whatever you want to call us have our skills and our personalities which we can offer in society.  We have lots to contribute to the world, "JUST AS WE ARE, WITHOUT ONE PLEA."  We can even support heterosexual people in the nurturing of their children.  So I like to promote our positives, and the way we can live/play/learn together.

                  1. wordscribe43 profile image93
                    wordscribe43posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    Could not be stated more eloquently!  My statement was in response to an earlier post by W.D. Curry above who was quoting a CSN song with "let your freak fly".  I found it offensive...  If I were gay, I would be offended.  I know my gay friends would find it offensive, too. 

                    The issue I was referring to above was a lady who has lived her whole life gay, but doesn't think she really is.  Not the other way around...  smile  Here was the post:  "  I can think of a woman (she's in her 50s now) who was certain she was a lesbian and has lived as a lesbian and is not happy but doesn't know anything else.

                    She's been under psychological assessment for decades and just recently she's realised that she isn't sexually attracted to women, she wants security of friendship and has always been untrusting of men due to early experiences.

                    It is too late for her, and she now is like; well, if I wasn't encouraged when I was 19 to see myself as...

                    So figure out whether you're admiring a man or feeling sexual about him.
                    Cause there's a difference."

                    Jonny, you and I are on the same page...  smile  Make no mistake about it!

                    1. WD Curry 111 profile image61
                      WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                      Sounds confusing. Not so understandable after all.

                2. qeyler profile image80
                  qeylerposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  Many people are afraid to break out of the 'rut'.  We can say; 'don't get into one', don't get so 'comfortable' in...(fill in blank) that you can't leave.

        9. 0
          klarawieckposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Can I make a suggestion here? Don't watch porn. It'll mess with your head and you'll end up thinking you're in love with Ron Jeremy! Trust me!

      8. Cardisa profile image89
        Cardisaposted 5 years ago

        Maybe you are going through that phase where we all reach the point of sexual identity. When you figure out who you are as a sexual being everything will become much clearer. I think you need to keep your relationships simple until you get through this because when all is said and done and your phase has passed, you don't wan to end up with regrets or psychological problems.

        Don't try and figure out anything on your own, let everything run it's own course. Just relax and enjoy life and you will be surprised how much you will learn about yourself. Whether or not you are gay isn't the point. Being the best person you can be is what matters. Love yourself no matter which gender you prefer.

      9. princesswithapen profile image86
        princesswithapenposted 5 years ago

        Listen to what IzzyM has to say, Rabgix. You won't find a better answer.

      10. Maria van Olphen profile image60
        Maria van Olphenposted 5 years ago

        Be yourself and don't put labels on how you feel. If you will be with a guy, then so be it. If you feel like being with a girl, do it. Just be yourself and you'll be alright.

        I think you make it complicated when you keep wanting to know answers that only come naturally to you..

      11. petertheknight profile image83
        petertheknightposted 5 years ago

        Maria that was absolutely beautifully written.  I really want to take that into my life as well.  I have been struggling with my family and so hubpages has been a great outlet for me since not all of my family supports me "coming out of the closet".  I have to laugh because I go in and out of my "closet" all the time.  I open up when I need to and then just let it go and laugh.  That's why I love Ellen Degenerous so much because she helps me laugh when things get really hard.

        1. Maria van Olphen profile image60
          Maria van Olphenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          It took me years to realize that it is not my job to make people happy that requires changing my personality. It is also not your responsibility how others feel. So you are right on track when you divert or find ways to go to your happy place. Ignore them if you have to. You know who you are and that is all that matters. 

          we have this problem of making others happy. And when it defies our wellbeing, we feel guilty or sad that they are not pleased.

          Be your self.. and love will abound - the love that is within you, the love your feel for your self.

      12. Mikeydoes profile image81
        Mikeydoesposted 5 years ago

        Do what makes you happy. Girls make me crazy, way too much for me to be gay.

      13. knolyourself profile image61
        knolyourselfposted 5 years ago

        Deep down some say, everybody is gay.

        1. Captain Redbeard profile image60
          Captain Redbeardposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          lol Those "some people" have never met my attraction to my wifes anatomy!

      14. billabongbob profile image80
        billabongbobposted 5 years ago

        My best friend is a gay guy. He 'tried' to be straight, in a bid to hide his true feelings about other men. He even went as far as asking a girl to marry him, but that's as far as it went.

        He's now comfortable with his sexuality, though doesn't announce it to everyone he meets as some of his friends do.

        Don't force yourself to be one thing or another, give it some time and you will find out who you really are.

      15. 0
        icountthetimesposted 5 years ago

        Maybe you're bisexual. It's best not to bother labeling yourself if you're really not sure though. Just be proud of who you are and go where your heart takes you.

        1. 61
          Justme13posted 5 years ago in reply to this

          +1

          1. carol3san profile image60
            carol3sanposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            I'm not Gay, but I am close with a few people who are gay.  They all own up to who they are and seem to have no regreats.

            1. Jean Bakula profile image96
              Jean Bakulaposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              I think you will figure out what makes you happy, and you don't have to limit or label yourself. I know many young people (early 20's) who are so disillusioned by their parents and friend's separations and divorces that they say they feel Asexual. They don't want to get involved or close to anyone, because it hurts too much to be in a love you think will last, and see it go down the tubes. Many are becoming ministers and live almost monk like lifes. They are all A students in college, and friendly, there doesn't seem anything wrong with them. They are outgoing, busy, but don't want to bother with sex or relationships. Is anyone else seeing stuff like this or feeling this way?

      16. vintageglamour profile image60
        vintageglamourposted 5 years ago

        i think we get too caught up in labels, and pigeonholing ourselves to make other's comfortable. maybe you just should be [insert your name here] for a while and get comfortable with that.

        i think we all go through some sort of emotional turbulence in our lives and it definately makes us stronger. you'll get through whatever it is your going through and you'll be better for it.

        ~labels are for soup cans~

      17. Mighty Mom profile image90
        Mighty Momposted 5 years ago

        Sexuality is a broad continuum. It's totally fine to allow yourself free reign into both sides of the spectrum to feel what feels authentic for you.
        But being only 19 you're still figuring out who you are and what makes you happy (actually, that may be a lifelong process smile).

        I worry that you use the words "admit it" about being gay.
        Admit has guilt and judgment attached. It's your life and your body and your love to give freely to a person of either gender.
        As stated above, it's no one else's business.

        How about saying, "I accept and feel secure in and revel in being gay" instead?

      18. Ron Montgomery profile image59
        Ron Montgomeryposted 5 years ago

        http://www.clevescene.com/binary/c658/1273171420-asian-carp.jpg


        I just wish they'd stop all of this gay carp...

      19. cheapbeatsbydre profile image61
        cheapbeatsbydreposted 5 years ago

        Pretty cool,I love it.

      20. Wesman Todd Shaw profile image93
        Wesman Todd Shawposted 5 years ago

        I'm sorry that this ambiguity is a problem for you - but in the end you should realize that it doesn't matter, and that you are you, and that nobody else can ever be you.

        You're special - you have something that no one else has, and you know things that no one else can know.

        You're life is ...like a gift, use it wisely.

      21. paradigmsearch profile image90
        paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago

        "Deep down, I think I know i'm gay"

        Do you really want the answer?

        Frame it.

        What do you imagine about when you masturbate?

        So, shut-up and get lost. Sorry.

        1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
          MelissaBarrettposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          I imagined an iced mocha latte last time... Oh God, what the hell does that make me?  I was already bi...  Am I tri now?

          1. mega1 profile image81
            mega1posted 5 years ago in reply to this

            that makes you my kind of person!  I used to dream about hot fudge sundaes during!  no lie!

            1. jonnycomelately profile image86
              jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              I like hot fudge on Saturdays, too, but not too many at once.  One at a time is nice and healthy!

          2. jonnycomelately profile image86
            jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Melissa, isn't Tri-sexual where you are game to tri anything once?

        2. paradigmsearch profile image90
          paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Go away.

      22. paradigmsearch profile image90
        paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago

        I am sick of this crap. Trust me. Nobody cares.

        1. paradigmsearch profile image90
          paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Sorry for the rant...

      23. Mikeydoes profile image81
        Mikeydoesposted 5 years ago

        The more you question it the more stressed out you will get, that is all it comes down to. You are a person and you can make all of your own choices. If you like dudes go find a gay one and try it out. If you don't like it, who cares live and learn, go back to the women.

        Man was having sex with man(although it usually makes me and many other men cringe at the thought of it) has been a fact since the beginning of our species. It is called curiosity, or maybe even an accident from not knowing(whoops!). There is no way a God would care where you put your thing, as long as you are responsible with it. I however, whether it be through me being taught not to be gay through friends, media, and everything else I am exposed to.. have no interest in men. I do however CARE LESS if you are gay or not. But if I point out you are gay don't be mad people like to have gaydars.

        Like Butthead said from Beavis and Butthead:

        I say if it feels good, do it.

      24. paradigmsearch profile image90
        paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago

        @Brenda

        According to media reports, God created gay penguins and gay bears. Thus, God loves gays.

        I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body, so if you're free some Saturday night...

        1. 0
          Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          paradigm, I'm curious--what was it that you gained, or hoped to gain, by making such a rude suggestive remark?

          1. Cagsil profile image82
            Cagsilposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            There was nothing RUDE about his remark. It's actually quite funny. Especially, being a lesbian trapped in a man's body. lol

            1. 0
              Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              Unless you're also paradigmsearch, I wasn't asking you Cagsil.

              1. Cagsil profile image82
                Cagsilposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                That's nice. But, I was talking to you regardless. lol

        2. 0
          jenuboukaposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          paradigmsearch ~

          May I say whenever I sift through the forums you are the one that makes me laugh out loud.  "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body, so if your free some "....Thank you Thank you for that.
          Cagsil = same goes to you as well...

          Brenda my dear if you can't take the heat go find a god friendly forum that won't offend you so much, this is a conversation about sexuality, if you know yours then spread the word where it does not preach against a person trying to "figure" it all out.  Okay?  Unless you and god sat face to face and he told you from his lips to your ears get off the high horse sister.  My God accepts all types, even paradigmsearch and Cagsil.....

      25. melbel profile image92
        melbelposted 5 years ago

        I personally feel it is immoral to push your beliefs on another person.

        I'm not going to change a person's mind on this if it's already made up.

        It's great to have your own opinion. Seriously. But NOTHING pisses me off more than people who make other people feel bad about themselves.

        If the kid turns out to be gay, great, he should be allowed to be who he is without people making him feel like a piece of sh*t. If he's straight, the same.

        I'm straight and none of my gay friends tell me I need to work on being gay. Then again, why would they? THEY'RE the ones in the wrong, aren't they? [sarcasm]

      26. Ron Montgomery profile image59
        Ron Montgomeryposted 5 years ago

        http://synthesis.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/jesus1.jpg

      27. mega1 profile image81
        mega1posted 5 years ago

        so, coming out in the Hubpages forums!  hmmmmm. . .  if I needed to come out, which is not to say that is a bad thing, or anything - I would definitely choose to do it here in the HP forums and then link to facebook and sit back and wait for the party invites, bonuses, and snide remarks from my born-again relatives.  BUT since I don't need to come out, (and you can interpret that however you want)  I'll just continue on irritating people here.  The way I do!

      28. BenjaBenja profile image61
        BenjaBenjaposted 5 years ago

        I would first like to address previous posters who have apparently forgotten the purpose of forum posts. It is here to promote community and serious conversation. It is unfortunate that some users have decided to use this forum as means of propagating their own agenda (at the cost of others) or for casting personal attacks. Let's take advantage of the forum for what it is - a place for polite debate and/or substantial conversation. With that in mind, I would actually like to contribute to the forum.

        Rabgix, I personally believe that we are our own authority. We ourselves choose what to and what not to believe in, what dreams to follow, whether or not to follow an instinct or emotion. This includes whether or not to accept who we truly are. Be straight, be bisexual, be gay, be limitless. It is not up to any of us. You - your mind, heart, soul, body - are your own authority. It is up to you to choose whether or not to listen.

      29. ahorseback profile image46
        ahorsebackposted 5 years ago

        Bottom Line ; If you gotta ask us if you're gay .......you have other more intense problems.

      30. jonnycomelately profile image86
        jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago

        Rabgix, I have only just come in on this Hub, so forgive me if anything I say here has been said before.  Hopefully this will not come over to you as advice, because probably that is not what you are searching for.

        First, I like the practice of using the word "gay" as an adjective, not as a noun or a label. As a label it tells others virtually nothing about "me," but has a tendency to bring up and reinforce stigma and prejudices.

        Secondly I have found a very useful thing to do is become friendly with a family who I can "come out to."  Once they have accepted me, it opens the way for humour, gently ribbing, showing I fancy some good looking guy I see on TV whilst sitting in their lounge room, and allowing me to be really who I am, honestly.  I guess the family learns a lot of useful stuff from me, too.

        Thirdly, I believe there is a male-ness in most if not all of us men, whether we are homo- or heterosexually orientated.  So it has been a great help to join a Men's Group where most of them are not gay, but I am.  I came out to them; they mostly accepted me, but one or two found it difficult.  The latter gradually have come around to understanding me, learning something about guys who are gay, and dispelling some of their preconceptions about gay people.  They don't try to change me to being straight, I don't try to entrap them.  There is great mutual respect and it has helped my self confidence in my masculinity a great deal.  And it's reaffirmed my self as being gay.

        I hope this might give you a few ideas with which to move forward in your life.  Wishing you well and I hope the others in this thread have helped you too.

      31. MelissaBarrett profile image60
        MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago

        Wait...  a couple questions...

        1.  Lesbianism is cool then, since sodomy isn't a big part of it? (unless I missed ANOTHER memo)

        2.  What about those married couples that engage in sodomy?  Are they going to hell?

        If so, it would seem that lesbians have a better chance of getting into heaven.  You really wouldn't think that God would be so concerned with rectums.  I would think maybe those starving and sick children might demand a little more of his attention.

        1. livelonger profile image90
          livelongerposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Well, if they're just raping an angel, that's probably OK. But wait...you meant the 17th century definition of sodomy, right? lol

          1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
            MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Every response possible to that violates forum rules.  I will say that finding angels is damn difficult these days though, so hubby and I just have to make do.

            (Yep, going to hell)

            1. livelonger profile image90
              livelongerposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              lol See you there! wink

      32. Greek One profile image81
        Greek Oneposted 4 years ago

        Just for the record, we Greeks perfected sodomy (and made it into a spectator sport)

        1. Pearldiver profile image86
          Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Hey... Don't take Anything away from Turkey or Byron mate! sad

          1. Greek One profile image81
            Greek Oneposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            What about Turkey?

            Byron would side with me.

        2. MelissaBarrett profile image60
          MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          I've seen your films.  Damn good acting that was.

      33. 0
        icountthetimesposted 4 years ago

        It really doesn't matter what gender you're attracted to. Just go with your heart.

        1. calpol25 profile image76
          calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Exactly right love is gender blind smile 



          http://s3.hubimg.com/u/5925566_f248.jpg

      34. Hollie Thomas profile image61
        Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago

        @Brenda, Know I haven't I'm afraid the original Exorcist was enough for me. I had to sleep with the lights on for months after. I think Melissa's too cute to be like Raegan though and she honestly doesn't strike me as the type to want to make that much mess in her bedroom. smile

        1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
          MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Hells no!  I'd have to clean it up.

          1. calpol25 profile image76
            calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

            lol smile

          2. Hollie Thomas profile image61
            Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Exactly, and you always strike me as a very tidy person. lol

            1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
              MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              I've given up tidy, I'm focusing on hygienic.  When the kiddies are grown I'll go back to tidy.

              1. Hollie Thomas profile image61
                Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                You may have to get them to leave home first. I don't think mine plan on leaving home ever. Despite the fact that I've promised them a deposit on their first flat. lol

        2. Hollie Thomas profile image61
          Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          @  Melissa, Raegan is a pretty cool name really. How do you know you're having another girl? smile

          1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
            MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            I don't.  WAY too early for that.  But it was one of the names we were throwing around for a girl.  Eden, Olivia, and Morgan are in there too.

            1. Hollie Thomas profile image61
              Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              They're lovely names. My daughter's name is Hollie (mine is Lisa) She was going to be an Olivia except hubby wanted the name Hollie, more. Evie is also a really nice name too. They're classy names. Clearly this little girl (if a girl) has breeding! lol

              1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
                MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                Well, I'm running out of boys names.  I've got a Kyle Jefferson, a Damion Alexander and a Kaine D'Angelo.  Lily is actually a Lilith Kai (middle name after Kaine).

                Roman, Seth, or Sebastian is kinda what we are looking at... although Braxton is being thrown about as well.

                1. calpol25 profile image76
                  calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  I almost got called Finley - love that name for a boy but my mam called me Callum smile

                  My best friend is called Lilannie as in the hawaiian little annie i think thats lovely too xx

                  1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
                    MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    I got shot down on anything "Finn" like.  I love Finnegan, but the husband just shot me evil looks when I suggested it.

                    1. calpol25 profile image76
                      calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                      Noo!!! Finnegan is a lovely name x  What about a compromise with Fergyll its an Irish name too x

                2. Hollie Thomas profile image61
                  Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  They sound like nice names too. Roman makes me think of Roman from Rosemary's Baby and Roman Polanski. Sorry! I have a Thomas. It is so difficult to come up with boy's names I think. Sebastian is a cool name, so are all the others though (except Roman) Finnegan is a cool name, I agree.

                  1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
                    MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    End of thread hijack... but my mother said if it's a boy we should name him Troy and if it's a girl then we should name her Helen.  I asked why and she said "Because someone in that house needs to be reminded that Trojans exist".

                    1. calpol25 profile image76
                      calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                      hahaha lol lol

                    2. Hollie Thomas profile image61
                      Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                      lol

      35. waynet profile image46
        waynetposted 4 years ago

        At the end of the day Gay or straight it all comes down to one thing really love! even some of the Animals in our world have been known to swing the other way, but I guess the poor little Animals will either go to hell or the likes of the religious fanatics don't care about the Animals because they don't talk, unless you take into account a Gay Parrot that could repeat speech from people.....then it's simply not right and that Parrot will be condemned....

        Anyway religion shouldn't really come into people trying to live their lives as it just bores the hell out of me that certain religious loons can take a topic and just pepper it with God speak! Get a life or keep it to yourself ya bunch of nutters!

        1. calpol25 profile image76
          calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

          I am all for penguin rights to be gay smile



          http://s1.hubimg.com/u/5925556_f248.jpg

          1. waynet profile image46
            waynetposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Yep...and that too! big_smile

            1. calpol25 profile image76
              calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

              lol lol lol its my fav picture

              I always thought jesus was gay too he knew how to do the YMCA smile



              http://s2.hubimg.com/u/6067573_f248.jpg

          2. Hollie Thomas profile image61
            Hollie Thomasposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Yes, I agree. I took the photo of these three guys when they were on a night out on Canal Street. They said the new look Rembrandts was fabulous. lol

            1. calpol25 profile image76
              calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

              lol smile

      36. waynet profile image46
        waynetposted 4 years ago

        Well....there ya go Brenda! Proof that Jesus liked to dance in his nappie to YMCA! lol!

        1. calpol25 profile image76
          calpol25posted 4 years ago in reply to this

          ROFL lol lol lol lol

      37. WD Curry 111 profile image61
        WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago

        Let your freak flag fly!

        https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQkS-KzKal505h_qXH77pOCjiZ8-xKuZrTv326KWQYz1h5eJK-

        Try writing a hub about it.

        1. wordscribe43 profile image93
          wordscribe43posted 4 years ago in reply to this

          "Freak" flag... wow, that's not nice at all.  What would compel you to say such a thing?

          1. WD Curry 111 profile image61
            WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago in reply to this

            I see you are young. Those are the lyrics to an old Crosby Stills and Nash song about rebellion against the establishment. I see the meaning got lost in the self-righteous, judgmental, politically correct, fake ass rhetoric that is clogging your drains today.

            1. wordscribe43 profile image93
              wordscribe43posted 4 years ago in reply to this

              Heck, I suppose I take this all as a compliment, then.  If being open-minded, accepting, understanding about the plight of gay people, educated about homosexuality itself and sensitive to their very real issues is "self-righteous, judgmental, politically correct, and engaging in 'fake ass rhetoric'" then I'm all of the above.  Count me IN!

      38. 71
        SanXuaryposted 4 years ago

        Thank God I never had this problem. Does it really require advice from others? So this is how it happens you wake up one day and you go darn, I think I want to go kiss another girl with lip stick or rub beards with another dude.

      39. WD Curry 111 profile image61
        WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago

        I have a confession. This has stirred up some deep issues. I had almost forgotten about my first sexual experience. I was fourteen. My Mom brought home a "weight reduction machine". It had a strap designed to fit under the gluteus maximus muscles. The strap was connected by each end to a powerful motor that pulled the strap back and forth with incredible speed and power. On high, you could not be understood easily when you talked. The vibrations modulated your voice in an unworldly vibrato.

        One day I was running the machine, and changing positions in experimentation. All of a sudden, I could not move. I was frozen with the most intense sensation that I had ever experienced. It was actually frightening. It took me several minutes to recover, sort of. It took me several days and several more experienes with the weight reduction machine to come to grips with the situation. Something was different. I was becoming a man. Tell me? Am I a machine-a-sexual? Or, am I straight?

        1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
          MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          You have Mechaphilia.  It's actually illegal in many places and can get you placed on a sexual offenders list if you are caught... you know like by admitting it on an open internet forum.

          Congrats.

          1. seanorjohn profile image80
            seanorjohnposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            How weird. I have no idea what is being discussed. Mechaphilia? I must have led a very sheltered life.

            1. MelissaBarrett profile image60
              MelissaBarrettposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              In response to WD Kurante's story of his relationship with an exercise machine.  Mechaphilia is a type of paraphilic disorder (deviant sexual disorder).  I have an interest in abnormal psych... although I did have to look up the specific name for his... *coughs* interests. (I knew it was a paraphilia, just not the prefix)

              1. WD Curry 111 profile image61
                WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                Hey, why are you hating? I read your comment. You have no room to talk. It sounds like you have have sex with anyone you can catch and hold down long enough. You get your freak on!

          2. WD Curry 111 profile image61
            WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Oh no! What have I done? I should have kept "Lucy" in the closet!

            I hope they don't find out about climbing the the rope in gym class.

            1. jonnycomelately profile image86
              jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              Climbing the ropes in Gym class, at about the age of 14, was when I got my first "orgasm in the loins."  Never told anyone this before, because at the time it was soooo weird, and frightening, and exciting, and enjoyable at the same time.  I had no one as a friend whom I could share it with.  So anyone who is a teenager and HAS someone they can talk to about it, you are fortunate indeed!

              1. WD Curry 111 profile image61
                WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                Your secret is safe with me, but almost everyone knows about the rope climb. How else could you motivate a bunch of scrawny kids to develop their muscles enough to reach the top.

                1. jonnycomelately profile image86
                  jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  Oh Wow! WD.  And all this time I have been under the illusion....... you learn something new every day don't you?  Thanks for enlightening me.  There's hopes in the ropes yet.

                  1. jonnycomelately profile image86
                    jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    I wonder if we can return to the original Hub?  Is there anything more to say on it?  The "deep down" bit is very important.  Some of us find it difficult even to know what is really "deep down."  Various factors such as cultural tendencies to shrug off, or not face, deeper and emotional feelings, can build a habit of denial.

                    I grew up in the English culture.  During and post-2nd World War.  Kissing Dad stopped pretty early.  "Not what big boys do."  A big hug for Dad did not come until much later in life, after I had done quite a lot of men's group work. I had shed a lot of tears as a boy, but the emotional source of those tears was never addressed.

                    There were lots of constraints on expressing how one actually felt, so there was no practice at it.  (Would you expect anyone to excell at sports, or drama, or mathematics, without practice?) 

                    So - whether any one of us feels "I might be gay," or "I suppose I am straight," there should be some educational facility for us to learn and practice communication.  Body language.  Social cues.  Acceptable responses.  False interpretations.  All these could come into such a course.  Would it be of assistance to anyone's choice in "coming out?"

          3. mega1 profile image81
            mega1posted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Mechaphilia!  first I've heard of it  - so the thumping clothes washing machine would qualify?  oh my!

            1. jonnycomelately profile image86
              jonnycomelatelyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              Only if it's a front-loader, Mega!

              1. mega1 profile image81
                mega1posted 4 years ago in reply to this

                haha - for women as long as it vibrates you can sit on it and it feels really good- I won't go into details!

            2. WD Curry 111 profile image61
              WD Curry 111posted 4 years ago in reply to this

              My kind of gal.

      40. seanorjohn profile image80
        seanorjohnposted 4 years ago

        Then, you probably are. Why ask? And so what!

      41. seanorjohn profile image80
        seanorjohnposted 4 years ago

        So what. Get over it, Live your life.

      42. WookieWonderfuls profile image60
        WookieWonderfulsposted 4 years ago

        surprising how many people are confused somewhat about their preference...or if they even have one. Don't stress over trying to give yourself a label smile just enjoy and experiment some.

       
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