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Is this the end?

  1. sruthidevan profile image60
    sruthidevanposted 4 years ago

    I have been dating this guy in my college batch for 2 years now. We are in love and we were having a great time till a few months back. I am a very friendly person, eager to make friends whereas my bf is just happy to be with me. So he doesn't really like me spending time for my friends which i really love doing. And we had a few fights over that and now he's totally changed and getting angry at small things like i text my guy friends more than he likes and my best friend, who is a guy and like my brother, calls me just to chat or if i just accidently forget to do something he told me like turn off silent mode in phone. I am crying so much in this relation. I am so in love with him but he keeps saying it's my fault he's changed like this to how he is now. Is this the end of it? Was it even love, what we had? He doesn't even like me clear pre-exam doubts with anybody else than him! Is something wrong with me, is the whole thing my fault? I was hoping to get married to him because he used to be perfect for me before this whole thing started. I am new in Hubpages, i hope i am doing things right. I really need advice. Please.

    1. stylezink profile image80
      stylezinkposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      My opinion, and that's all it is, an opinion, is there may be  a possibility that you were in love. The only person who will know that answer is you. Two years is still a getting to know someone period. That's why so many people end in divorce. No one takes the time to get to know someone anymore. They just rush into marriage. That's crazy! Two years seems like a long time but in a relationship it's really not. Especially, when you're talking about spending the rest of your life with them. Someone could not possibly show you all sides of their personality in that time. And I don't care what anyone says here, no one actually shows their "true colors" when they first meet someone, especially someone they like. The first year is like finding a book, the outside is nice and the snippet on the back really pulls you in, so you buy it, take it home, read it, and find out this book isn't really what you thought. Sometimes you'll give it a chance and continue to read on and sometimes you'll just toss it on the bookshelf never to be read again. Certain situations that come up over time will reveal how they come to deal with all of life's ups and downs. In the beginning you usually aren't around the person you're dating as much, so of course anytime they come around they're nothing but the best in your eyes. Over time, growing closer, and spending more time together you get to see other sides of your partner. Things you may have never imagined. These are the things you need to ask yourself, "Am I willing to deal with this?" And if not, then get moving on. I think it was about 2-3 years into my current relationship where the road got really bumpy but we made it through and decided to stay together. We've been together 10 years now.

      In my lifetime, and I'm only 33, I've dated many people, been married, and 2 long term relationships. I have to say everyone has 'something' or a few things about them that you will dislike. Everyone can be controlling at one time or another about different things. And if you don't one issue it will be another. No one is perfect; nothing is like the romantic movies or novels out there. People are people. You need to decide for yourself what you can deal with and what you won't. In your case it sounds like a trust issue, that's not something I would be willing to deal with. Again, just my opinion.

    2. Jesus was a hippy profile image60
      Jesus was a hippyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      All men get jealous. If a girl hangs out with lots of guys, her boyfriend WILL be jealous.

      Take it from a guy who has been there. If you really like a girl, you will automatically assume that other guys will too, which means that all her guy friends will want to steal her from you.

      It means that he likes you, but he is not sure that you are going to stay with him.

      You have 2 choices. Either let him know FOR SURE that he is the only guy for you, or leave him.

    3. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      I don’t think this is a situation of his simply being jealous.
      The truth is “opposites attract”.
      It sounds like you’re an “outgoing” type of person and your man is more of a “homebody” type o guy. Just as a moth is attracted to a flame if it gets too close it will burn. You on the other hand are probably attracted to his being 100% invested in you, placing you on a pedestal, and making you feel like you are all he needs in the world to be happy. Unfortunately in the end it’s “like that attracts like” in the long run.

      You don’t have to change who you are and your mate should not have to change who he is (if you are “right” for each other).  A homebody type of person is better off being with a homebody and an outgoing person is better off being another outgoing person.

      Having said that not many women would their man texting, calling, and spending time with his “female friends” just as there are not many guys who want their women hanging out a lot with her “male friends”. Given the choice between staying close to a “platonic friend” or having a happy loving relationship/marriage… most people would make more time for their significant other. Again I stress there is no “right” or “wrong”. There is only “agree” and “disagree”. Ultimately we’re all looking for someone who “naturally agrees” with us. It’s probably best that you both go out a find that person who agrees with you.

  2. S G Hupp profile image83
    S G Huppposted 4 years ago

    No, it wasn't love, what you had.  Control freaks are usually very charming and attentive at first.  However they don't love other people, they love the IDEA of a person that they can control.  When someone SHOWS you who they are pay attention.  The fact that you posted this question should tell you that he's shown himself.

  3. drkrvs1004 profile image61
    drkrvs1004posted 4 years ago

    I might disagree a bit. It might've been love. Unfortunately you are in love with someone that he has pretended to be. There's no way for someone to say what you are asking. You're asking for someone to answer a question that you need to figure out on your own. And the question itself should be geared more to whether or not you can continue to love him with him showing this side of himself. Look at it this way... if you can't tolerate his behavior, and you are constantly second-guessing your relationship... doubt is the tell-tale...

  4. AshtonFirefly profile image83
    AshtonFireflyposted 4 years ago

    First of all, I just want to say, be careful. If he's constantly blaming you for the way he acts, you're going to be under a TON of pressure. He also sounds extremely jealous. I don't think you should worry about it being the end right now, or if what you had was ever love. Just focus on what you have right now. What do you feel for him now? Has he changed to an unacceptable degree? And to be honest, if he changed that quickly, it may not be that he "changed"; it may be that his true character is suddenly coming out. My advice: be careful and discuss how you feel with him. If he continues to blame and cut you down, back off.

  5. Shadesbreath profile image89
    Shadesbreathposted 4 years ago

    I have a pet snake that I really love. It is cool looking and I feel really connected hanging out with it. But it bit me. It injected poison into me and slowly my nervous system has begun to degrade as the venom works on me.

    I love the idea of having a pet snake though. Pet snakes are cool. And everyone knows that people who have a pet snake are super awesome. So, I don't know what to do. I love the idea of having a snake. I'm actually thinking of getting a tattoo and a motorcycle.

    But there's part of me that thinks hanging out with this snake is just stupid.

    What should I do?

    1. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Reduce Your Meds smile

      Then you may able to move quicker and fight back when your snake tries to seduce or bite you! smile

      Or Not!  big_smile

      Gotta Love the fact that sometimes Space Junk passes through these forums every few weeks! roll

    2. Randy Godwin profile image94
      Randy Godwinposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Stay away from snakes whenever possible!  They are generally disreputable characters and you can't believe anything they tell you!  Take my word for it!

  6. litsabd profile image86
    litsabdposted 4 years ago

    Since when we inprison the ones we love in the name of love?
    For this is what your boyfriend has done to you. This is not real love. Real love wants the other to be free so that if he/she in a relationship we know he/she is where he/she WANTS to be. Love doesn't put limitations to the things that make us happy. Love gives us the ticket and the way to be better us.
    Do you see your self getting any better? i don't think so.