Even though I am only 26 there are certain things I wish I could share with my past me. What advice or experience would you pass along to your 20 year old self.
Stay in school, don't do drugs, penis is the enemy.
Oh, yeah, and don't squander your money. Someday you're going to want to buy an island.
Oh, and you are beautiful. Incredibly beautiful. You'll appreciate your small perky breasts later on.
You are talented beyond belief. And smart.
hang on, this is going ot be one hell of a ride......
I'd tell myself that sometimes following your emotions isn't always wise. That thing in between the ears is there for a reason...
Ahhh...the age old question. To be honest, I would say, "Everything you consider doing, do the total opposite. You really screwed up first time round." Above all, however, to quit smoking, get out of the banking business immediately and cut down on the drinking, in that order.
Can see this becoming the most contributed to topic ever on Hub Pages!
Study more cause you can always party later. Oh, and concentrate on your writing.
I am not as silly as you look. Trust yourself. Nobody is perfect.
mine would be commit to learning another language, travel when those oppurtunities present themselves, save your money- clothes aren't everything (you end up selling them anyway)
You obviously led a different life to mine. Clothes were never important.
As a 20 year old, I was married a year, struggling with a new mortgage, and with a husband who wanted to live the single life.
As you do when you are only 24, as he was.
This is maybe why I find it hard to write successful hubs. People nowadays have way more disposable income than I could ever have dreamt about.
But I would still re-iterate that the best thing a 20 year old could do for him or herself is complete their education.
Those certificates are everything when job hunting, no matter what age you are.
I would say, "Run! Run as fast as you can, and don't look back!"
Don't get married.
If you do end up married once, don't get married twice.
Funny, I would give the opposite advice. I wish I had listened to the advice of friends and family at the time to find a good woman, rather than spending seven nights a week boozing in the pub, spending a fortune and achieving nothing. Guess it just shows how all our many perceptions and experiences are different...
I'll run with that Writeangled, as a previously serial monogogmist.
I would say don't bother voting in 1 year it won't make a difference in the long run
I agree with Hollie, I would finish college. I wouldn't have dumped him (I married him) but I wish I had lived by myself for at least a year first. I went straight from living with my parents to being married. I never had anytime to just live on my own. I was very much in love and he was my whole world at the time. But he's still here, and I could have done more productive things with my time than just concentrate on him. LIke Izzy, I had a mortgage to pay while my friends were all partying, and soon after my Dad died and I had lots of problems with my alcoholic mother and bipolar brother. I was so worried about everyone but me. It took me until I was 50 to finally put myself first. I did it in style though, while vacationing in Jamaica! I feel my life is more balanced now, but it could have been that way for much longer.
A friend and I were just discussing this the other day.
I would tell myself to live. Just live. Enjoy living. Appreciate every day of being 20.
Someday, you'll be looking back and wishing that you did.
I would advise myself not to fall in love so easily and waited for awhile ,that i should have concentrated more on my career.
I married mine.
Now, 30 odd years later, we are divorcing, he is gone, and no-one wants to employ me.
I have so much to bring to any job with a lifetime's experience, but without that certificate I am presumed to untrustworthy.
It's nice to think that you can get as far as interview, where the panel can judge you, as a person, but without that certificate, it never gets that far.
No worries, I will sort my problem out.
But advice to a young 'uns?
Get your education first before you embark on permanent relationships.
After my second child, Izzy, at the age of 30, I went back to college, then Uni and got that certificate. BA social science and a 2:1 at that. Was very proud of myself. After working for several years in the criminal justice system (which I came to hate) I resigned. After that, could never get past the interview either. Sometimes can't help but think it's an age and class thing. But, who knows! I still greatly value education, if I hadn't have gone back to college, I wouldn't have been able to research and write to an acceptable level. It provides my income.
At aged 40 odds, I went back to college full time.
At that time I was trained nurse, but had given it up for taxi driving which paid considerably better. I had a young family to think of.
I loved computing, so after trying out a couple of free community modules, I went to college.
It was a 2 year course.
At the end of year one, despite passing all the modules, the course was discontinued, because not enough of us had passed.
The others who passed were only young, and went on to uni, but I couldn't, because I had young kids and had to see them safely to school in the mornings before I could head off anywhere.
The university was another hour's drive away. I'd have missed half the classes.
Only problem for me is it left me uncertificated. Again. As if I had never spent a year of my life juggling my time and making the effort.
Such is life.
Do it all when you are 20. Because the opportunity simply isn't there when you are older.
don't be afraid to be who you really are...
your Momma and Daddy really do know things...
remember: you will want to like what you see when you look in the mirror in the morning...
never let the sun set on your wrath..
tell everyone how you feel about them A L L the time...sometimes you do not get a second chance to say I love you..or thank you...
I wouldn't say a thing. Life hasn't been a bowl of peaches, but everything happens for a reason.
wow you guys are great!!
I forgot I would listen to my parents as well...I say that now but just yesterday I snubbed some hearty advice.
Cie La Vie
It would be to forget a guy I had dated, because I lost a scholarship. I was still in love and thought we would get back together I did not keep my B average, because of this guy who was a player not worth my time. I did get my degree but lost precious time and money. I was very immature. Now I am mature and a writer. Yay!!!!!!!!
I would advise her to live and experience life. To finish her education and live her "bucket list", if you will. I would explain once you're married and you settle into the workforce, have children etc....you will no longer have the time to experience those things you want to do. If they're truly meant for each other, time is on their side, and neither need to jump into anything.
LOL, I would say, don't change a thing, stay right on this path, keep doing what you're doing, you're going to have an amazing life.
Well since I'd be going into the future, I'd probably just ask myself for the scores on past major sports games so that I can bet on them now.
I would tell myself to ignore that seriously pretty girl - because she will make your life a bloody misery for 30 years before you manage to escape !
Who's a dude?
OH. Those are the words of advice you would've given yourself.
Okay, now I got it.
Well, boy, you've got many tough rides ahead of you. I can't give you any advices or admonitions for now for you'll need all of those troubles to come your way for you to learn how to live your life better.
Just be strong, hold on, do what must be done, but do it wisely, and trust that tomorrow is gonna be a better day.
Pay a bit more to how you come across to others, so you don't alienate so many good people. Remember that if you don't like your situation, you have only two options: change your situation, or change the way you feel about it. No one can make you feel any particular way - you get to choose who you give your power away to. Acknowledge that the universe rewards everything you put out into it a thousandfold. It's your family and friends who you should be treating best of all, with the greatest amount of kindness and respect.
You are naive if you think as adults you have so many choices. Yes, the choices are there. But you are loaded down with responsibilities, children, sick relatives, bills, and all kinds of other unforeseen things. Yes, you can do things to change your situation, but maybe not much. For some they don't even have a few hours to themselves in the course of a week. I have a 30 yr old friend married 5 yrs. She has two sons, 5 and 3, and a great husband. They both lost their Mothers this year. She is coping with her Father, although she lost someone she loved too. Her hubby had an aunt that died, who had another aunt and uncle living with her. They would have been homeless had my friend not taken them in. Then another uncle on her side of the family passed on, and her aunt is int he 80's and afraid to live alone, she is showing signs of dementia. My friend copes with all this and works both P/T in an ice cream store, her own biz, that closes from Dec-Mar of the year. She's also an aide in a fertility clinic, and working again, M,W,F from 9-2:30, gets out in time to pick up her oldest from kindergarten. She treats everyone maybe with too much kindness and respect. Your time for yourself is either severely limited or nonexistent if you become a responsible adult. I agree we choose who to give our power to as well. But in some cases, we have to give it to older relatives before we let them live on the streets. I hope the Universe rewards her, and maybe it did, she has a nice husband and two beautiful sons. I hope someday they all care for her as tenderly as she cares for them. You are on the right track, it's just hard to juggle it all and not lose yourself in the process!
Jean, are you responding to my post or the original? Did you read the original post? We were supposed to reply with the answer to "If you could give advice to your 20 year old self what would it be?"
Hi capricorn rising,
I was responding to your post, I already responded to the original. I think you have the right ideas, but maybe don't realize how complicated life can get for the responsible ones in a family. There are always the members who glide by and have loads of time to ponder their situation and how they would change it, and who they should and shouldn't give power to. But the others are dealing with all the problems and picking up the slack for the ones who don't help out.
I think you're missing the point of the question. This is the advice I would give to MY 20-year-old self, who you didn't know. I would never presume to tell you that your advice to your young self is bad or wrong or misguided. I don't know you or what you were like then, and therefore it would be out of line for me to do this.
However, since you opened the exchange: in response to your criticism, the advice regarding one's "situation" is a very close paraphrase of a quote from George Bernard Shaw. It encourages one not to feel helpless - and to take control over one's unhappiness, rather than blaming others by attributing that control to the "makers of the difficult situation." His advice is quite sound, and it has served me well in my life. I no longer feel as helpless as I did at 20.
I believe you've decided to interpret it in your own way, according to your own experiences, which in itself is not a problem, but it's important that you know that your experience is not everyone's experience. In advising my young self, I was considering only her experience and mine - not the world's. This, I believe, was the spirit of the original question: an individual response, not a message that applies to everyone or anyone else but the responder.
Everyone has choices. Deciding you don't have any is exactly what causes a spiraling down, and ensuing feelings of helplessness. I prefer to encourage people to take control over their lives, and to seek help from the right places when they need it. My young self had plenty of choices, but chose to wallow in helplessness, which ultimately caused her (me) many problems.
I didn't mean to create confusion. The thread began as what we would advise our 20 yr old selves, but some discussed what their lives were like now, at the later age, and why they would advise what they did. My original answer is early in the thread, I didn't miss the point of the question. The thread got long and different. I am not commenting on this again.
Build sanctuary in yourself, your life and everywhere you go. Know the zones and apply them. Free zone, people zone, social zone and intimate zone. Never be a sex machine when you get older you will ask yourself to many questions. Be kind to everyone who never gave you a reason to be unkind. I did this for the most part but still have a few regrets. Never get married but then again if I applied sanctuary and found someone who did the same who knows. Build your own life before adding others to it. Tell your kids to get good grades, play sports and learn a vocational job and get a degree later in life. Both of my kids did the first three at this point and were employed a year before high school graduation. My regret was my parents never enforcing this in me. Never believe that you can make someone happy, its impossible. Do not believe that money is the line in which to determine yourself as successful. Money is infinite and teaches you nothing unless you our paying for knowledge and will never give you anything in heaven or towards salvation.
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