Forgiving even when you don't think someone deserves it.
An early morning sun pushed its formidable rays through the window and onto the face of a little girl. Her freckled face wrinkled a bit as she resisted the urge to awaken, in the distance she could hear the rattle of dishes being washed. Slowly her bright blue eyes slid open to reveal the front bedroom of her grandmother's house. Stale morning breath blew into her blond hair, causing a strand to tickle her ear. Her little brother was still dreaming underneath the bed's patchwork quilt.
Laying there she allowed her mind to drift back to the night before.....
"Sweetheart, Mommy has to go away for a while." Her mom looked so sad as the words seemingly fell from her frowning mouth.
"Why Mommy?" The five year old inquired. In her head she was probably wondering what she had done wrong to make her mommy want to go away. Children don't usually understand these things.
"Well Mommy is sick and the only way for me to get better is for me to leave this town." Her brown hair brushed her cheek as she spoke, her words were shaky.
"Okay," the child agreed, "but you have to say goodbye."
"I promise,"......
The little girl jerked upright as she realized her mommy was leaving that morning. Her tiny feet hit the floor in a soft thud and she sprinted to the door. Her eyes searched the living room and kitchen, landing on her grandma doing the dishes. The older lady felt the tiny tug on her nightgown and questioning eyes pierced her back.
"Grandma where is Mommy?"
"Honey, she had to leave. I'm sorry." Grandma softly replied knowing the little girl would be devastated.
.................
That is how I remember the day my mom went away. I do not remember if I was devastated, in fact I don't remember much from the couple years before that or a couple years after she left. What I do know is that my mom was sick, drugs and alcohol almost destroyed her. The only way for her to break free was for her to leave Kentucky and everything in it behind. In my opinion it takes a lot of courage to leave everything and everyone behind. Pattie Hazel, my mom, is a remarkable woman who gave birth to me according to God's will. Although I will admit that this day changed my life forever, I have forgiven my mom.
At this point in time, my mom is battling lung cancer and I am doing my best to be there for her. It is important to remember that God has a purpose for everyone and it is essential that we learn how to forgive. My mom has never been a part of my life in the way I would've liked. She has always lived 6 hours away and been mostly detached from me. I made the decision years ago to not let my circumstances make me another broken home victim. I am the proud mother of two beautiful girls and I am happily married to a wonderful man.
I will leave you with this final note, you have the power to chose if you're going to be a victim, based on what others have done to you, or if you're going to rise above that and be a better person.
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