Friendship of different gender without sexual desire

1. 56

   beingwinnerposted 12 years ago

   I have some online male friends, mostly single by divorce. As a married woman, I always tell them my marital status.  The first time, our friendship was good, we had chit chat to kill spare time.  I enjoy having friendship of different gender as most men speak their mind.  Finally, most of the time, we broke up our friendship after I sensed their sexual passion on me and tried to actualize it.  I now wonder: is it possible to have a friendship of different gender without any sexual desire?

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   1. 61

      vparkerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think over time unless they are of a different sexual orientation that the attraction will develop between at least one of the parties involved. I've had a lot of so called male friends disappear after they realized I wasn't going to be with them. I also know a lot of  straight guys who have lots of female friends, they have all been players.

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2. 88

   TheMagicianposted 12 years ago

   It really depends.
   
   Most of my friends are guys (I get along with women just fine, but most of the girls around here just really aren't friend material to me), and I can definitely say I rarely have your issue. My best guy friends I made around the age of 9 to 13, and I cannot look at them in any other way but as a friend or brother of sorts, and the same goes for them with me being a sister of sorts.
   
   Even guys I meet now we're just friends and there's no issues at all. There's no innocent flirting, no touchiness, none of that. One of my best friends (I met him when he was 20 and I was 16, we're now 22 and 18 respectively) I met at a party and we bonded over shared interests such as video games and comics. We both understood that even though we got along awesome, it just didn't seem right to date, so we're best friends with no tension whatsoever between us. He's been my wingman and I his wingwoman before. Just fine
   
   I have had only one issue where a guy friend liked me but I clearly just wanted to stay friends. He left for a bit but then came back around, and things are okay now. He's a great guy and his girlfriend is very lucky!
   
   Another best friend of mine whom I met when I was 14 and he was 16, I had a crush on him at first. It soon went away though, and now I couldn't imagine dating him or ANYTHING. It'd be so weird. Oh well.
   
   Just depends. I've found that my generation is able to be friends with each other regardless of gender much easier than older generations. It also can depend on the scene or subcultures one may come from, but that's just a personal thought.
   
   On an added note, none of the guys I know are players whatsoever, even those who are friends with mostly girls. They're all very respectful, reliable, and great guys to know. I've watched girls chase after them, and I just sit back and laugh. It's a sight

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3. 70

   AshtonFireflyposted 12 years ago

   Yes I think it's possible. Most of my friends are guys. I'm pretty sure they've never had feelings for me, any of them. Unless they're all lying. lol.

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4. 60

   Jonathan Jancoposted 12 years ago

   I have many friends who are women. Some have had feelings for me and some haven't. It works the other way too though. I think its perfectly ordinary to have friends of the opposite sex. It's also downright laughable that if you have friends of the opposite sex somehow you have never desired them in some way. Sexual tension in platonic friendships only gets to be a problem when there is some sort of paradox involved, like female friends I've had who were unhappily married and caused friction due to how much time they spent with me. There was nothing going on sexually in most of these cases, but the tension created obstacles for sure. I always try to accept attraction as flattery regardless of who it comes from. Friends, strangers, customers, stalkers, whoever. If they want me to know they're attracted to me I will appreciate that- and if I am not available to that person in that way I will let that be known as well.

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