Weak enough to let Her Go

1. 57

   mijikoyposted 11 years ago

   please do help me about my girlfriend..she always talk about possible reasons for our break-ups. I don't understand her sometimes. It hurts me to talk about those shitty splitting ups!! She even said to me that there's a possibility that she might fall in love with a stranger. I don't understand why is she saying those things to me.. please.. I need some advise..by the way, we are the same sex.

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   1. 61

      SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      emotional blackmail?

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2. 68

   ptosisposted 11 years ago

   She sounds like a real piece of work - why do you even want to be around her?
   
   "Users enjoy the codependent's need to feel needed and exploit this desire through shaming, passive hostility and subtle intimidation."  - http://hubpages.com/t/14c4d5

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3. 60

   Disturbiaposted 11 years ago

   She's trying to get and keep your attention by using her threats of finding love elsewhere. It also gives her the feeling of having the upper hand in the relationship. Trust me, if she really left, she'd be doing you a favor.

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   1. 67

      A Thousand Wordsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      +1

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4. 64

   Greek Oneposted 11 years ago

   I'll need pictures to be able to judge this one

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5. 83

   psycheskinnerposted 11 years ago

   If she goes, she goes.  You don't determine that.  What you control is whether you keep taking her back.

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   1. 67

      A Thousand Wordsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Indeed

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6. 57

   mijikoyposted 11 years ago

   thanks for your advise guys..but for now, i can't still let her go..i know she loves me but it was me who's always finding love from her..did you get me? its like, i had greater feelings for her than that of the love she had to me..and did you know,she's not like those other girls that is so sweet to their partners!! she's the kind of girl that is a home>school>church thing..but i accept whatever she is..because i truly love her.......... a LOT!

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   1. 68

      ptosisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You don't have to worry about "letting her go" because she will never leave. I had an ex for 5 years kept using that line to keep me in line. - and on the fifth year I said "Go - don't come back". Well then he stood at the door all packed and says he needs a ride to the highway ramp......I guided him out the door ( with his key in my hand) and closed the door.
      
      "NPD/BPD women threaten abandonment like healthy women say, “I love you.” It’s a reflex-like control technique. She threatens you with the fear of loss of the relationship to keep you scared and in line. These women threaten to leave over the most ridiculous nonsense, too."
      
      - from http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01 … nd-spouse/
      
      
      http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01 … ity-women/

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   2. 67

      A Thousand Wordsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      How old are you?

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7. 63

   prettydarkhorseposted 11 years ago

   That is like emotional blackmail

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8. 57

   mijikoyposted 11 years ago

   we are both 18 years old..

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9. 57

   mijikoyposted 11 years ago

   i don't know if it is an emotional blackmail but i think,she is starting to love somebody else..i don't know but there is guy whom she keep on comforting about those shitty problems of that guy..damn! my girl is working on a boutique this summer, and that guy is working on that boutique too... I've rode the messages of that fuckin' man....my girlfriend said that they were just friends..and now, i think that's the reason why she asked me the question: "what if i fell in love with a stranger?"....
   
   .....we're just 4 months of being together but it was so hard to let her go even though she is breaking my heart into pieces... :'(

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10. 68

    ptosisposted 11 years ago

    I'm sorry for your pain - but you gotta realize and stop denying the truth - she's just not that into you. Or she just a user

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11. 0

    Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

    Personally, I would kick her to the curb.  But since you are making all kinds of excuses for her bad behavior, she's your problem until you see the light and cut her lose.  Face it.  She's already making you miserable, and she's playing you.  As long as you accept her crap, she'll continue to shovel it at you.  Good luck at the stable.

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12. 68

    ptosisposted 11 years ago

    Yeah, asks for advice - gets a ton of it saying 'dump her' then don't listen. (sigh)
    
    
    

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13. 0

    Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

    But isn't that how it goes, ptosis?  There was a couple of posts like this one, and it's the same M.O. from the time I began HubPages.  When people use the Forum as "Advice for the Lovelorn," I find them annoying.  It goes like this:
    
    1)  The Hubber has not written a single Hub (or maybe one at the most), but wants help with the love life.
    2)  When you ask a bunch of strangers what to do with your love life, something is truly wrong with you.
    3)  After getting all kinds of advice to dump their partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, etc., all of a sudden they are saying how wonderful this person is.
    
    Remember the expression?  Gag me with a spoon???  I have no mercy for these people who ask for help when they can't even help themselves.

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14. 57

    mijikoyposted 11 years ago

    you don't understand me mrs. Poma..our relationship is far different with the other relationships that you've knew,i guess.... my girlfriend didn't want to tell anyone about this..that's why whenever we had problems,it is so hard because i can't even talk with somebody to help me or to guide me...yes i know, that the best decisions in life came from ourselves..but it is normal to ask for some advises...that's why i posted it here, wherein a bunch of strangers(as you said) are the only persons whom i could get some help..and i thanked them for that..

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    1. 67

       A Thousand Wordsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Sweetie, the best advice doesn't only come from yourself.  Often times there are people who've been through what you've been through or seen first hand situations that help you better than you can help yourself. However, I believe it's something you'll have to learn on your own, otherwise you will keep letting her break your heart. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that you either leave her, because she is abusing you mentally, whether you think she is or not, or hopefully she changes her ways (which I doubt, because you sound like a nice person, so maybe she'll realize what she has), but the choice is essentially yours to make.

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15. 57

    mijikoyposted 11 years ago

    thank you miss...yes, im helping myself to forget  her..you know its hard, but i know i can do this...

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