Got Friends?

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What kind of a friend are you willing to be?

"It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. But, I'll be there for you . . ."

I love TV. I am its greatest fan when I think it's good, and its biggest critic when I think it's bad. The old sitcom, Friends, is more than entertainment for me. I know these people. Well, not exactly these people, but little bits of people I know and love show up in this group of friends.

It's not the setting of the program that is familiar to me. I've been to New York City twice - 37 years apart. And I could only wish I had friends who looked like the actors on this show. For one thing, they are all way too young to be my contemporaries. But exchanges between them, or emotions displayed by them, or situations created among them, are dead give-aways for people I've called friend.

I am part of a group of friends, four of us girls, who have joked for 30-plus years that we are going to be old ladies in The Home together. When one of us divorced some years ago, and her father gave her a lot of grief over who was going to take care of her in her old age, the three of us told her to tell him in no uncertain terms: we would. And I don't doubt for a minute that we will.

Another of the group had her first baby rather late in life. Definitely not in her twenties. More like double that. Two of us made the trek from Atlanta to Jacksonville, Florida, to lay eyes on this greatly anticipated new arrival. No blood relative could have been happier than we were. Besides, I felt there was no where else on earth for me to be at that time. These are the women who have come to see me at every out-of-the-way place I've ever lived in my history roaming the earth as an Army wife. I could at the very least get myself down to Florida for a new baby.

This was October 1995. While I was with my friends remembering how to operate a diaper, my still active duty husband called to say he was going to make a return visit to the Arabian Peninsula courtesy of Sadaam Hussein. And he would probably have to leave before I could get back from Jacksonville. And he had no idea how long he would be gone. I hung up, told my friends the details they hadn't overheard already, and wondered out loud what I was going to do.

Let me say right here, this was a minor inconvenience in 1995 compared to what military spouses have dealt with now for a decade, under much more serious circumstances than I ever faced. But at the time, this was a big deal for me.

Well, I didn't have to wonder what I was going to do for long because my two friends knew exactly what I was going to do. The Jacksonville friend loaded our car up with enough coffee and artificial stimulants like Twinkies and Ding Dongs to keep us hyper and awake for 500 miles. The friend who had driven down from Atlanta with me put me in the car at three o'clock in the morning and proceeded to take me home to see my husband off for an unknown period of time, cutting her own weekend vacation in half - all the while with a smile on her face. I ended up walking into my house with three hours to spend with a husband I wouldn't see again for several months because I had friends who took care of me.

Recently there was a story in our local paper about a fire that broke out in the home of three elderly women. One of the ladies died. They believe she perished trying to keep the fire from spreading to her friends' part of the house. I can believe that. I have friends like that.

When God says in the Bible that he will never leave us or forsake us, I believe one of the ways he guarantees that is by giving us friends. Friends like I have. Friends I thank Him for every day.




Good Friends Are Music to Your Ears:

On Amazon by Kathleen Cochran

More by this Author


Comments 45 comments

Medic2RN profile image

Medic2RN 5 years ago from Virginia

You are truly fortunate to have one friend in this capacity and extremely lucky to have a group. It is a rare thing for friendships to truly last the ages...the complicated world of females. Congratulations and God Bless!


Linda B. 5 years ago

I have friends like those, too! I hope you feel as blessed as I do.


RedElf profile image

RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

Friends are the best parts of our life :D Family, we are given, but our friends choose us.


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

Congratulations on your hubnugget nomination.

You are blessed to have kept up a friendship with these women for so long.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Thank you FloraBreenRobinson for your comments and for letting me know about the nomination! Hope you are blessed with lifelong friendships too.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

I've got really good friends who journey with me in my emotional and spiritual life! How Blessed I am to have these kind of friendships :)

Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination and for having wonderful friends! To read and vote: http://hubpages.com/hubnuggets6/hub/ABC-HubNugget-...


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Medic2RN: Thanks for the comment. There's got to be a story behind your call sign! Care to share?


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Thanks ripplemaker! I had many good friends from the Phillipines when I lived in the Middle East. Thanks for your support.


cardelean profile image

cardelean 5 years ago from Michigan

RedElf said pretty much what I was going to say, friends are our chosen family. I have a group of women that are my dearest friends. It is great to have that kind of bond. Congrats on your wonderful friendship and your nomination.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Appreciate your comments cardelean! Look forward to reading your hubs!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Your group of friends reminds me of the ones I grew up with. There is a small circle of us that have known each other since elementary school. It is a wonderful thing to have the longevity of a good friendship.

Good luck in the contest and welcome!


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Denise: Thanks for sharing your friends with me and for your good wishes!


Ania L profile image

Ania L 5 years ago from United Kingdom

This hub is a great answer to a question I've seen here on HubPages few weeks ago: "Do we need friends at all?". I can only wish the people that weren't sure about it, to have REAL friends in their life, as you have. Thankd for sharing your story


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Ania L: Thanks for reading and sharing. Good to have a new friend in you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Dear Kathleen, GREAT read here. Fantastic writing and lay-out. LOVED every syllable. Voted up and away. And loved your bio. I spent 23 years in every aspect of the local newspaper business until I became disabled in 2002. Now hubwriting and my PC help me to cope with life at home. YOU are a great writer. I also read that you were a novelist and poet? Wow. I am impressed. And glad that I am a follower. I invite you to check out my hubs, which are NOT as good as yours, but I work with what I got. Thanks a lot. And glad to meet you, Kathleen. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from Hamilton, a rural town in northwest Alabama that resembles Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. Peace and Success to you.


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho

I loved this story. Thank you for sharing your circle of friends.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Thanks Jennifer. Welcome to my hubs. Look forward to more of yours. Do you have a circle of friends like mine? Happy New Year!


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho

I have a circle of friends spread across the country. I often wish we could hang out in a coffee shop on a regular basis like Friends did. We have all 10 seasons on DVD, I love that show. Reminds me of my college days.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Well, we have a little difference in age. "The Big Chill" reminds me of my college days!!!


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Wonderful friends, wonderful memories and a wonderful Hub.

What a gift and blessing such friends are. :)


John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Hi Kathleen, and what a wonderful hub this one is! I too believe friends are a must in this world in order to socially survive. You're a very intuitive writer!

Voted up

John


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Kathleen, great hub. There are 5 of us in our friend group and we all call each other 'the mams' cos we met in the school yard taking our kids to school then picking them up again. And I love em all, couldn't do without them. Nights out with them are still a hoot and we still go away together occasionally too.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

phdast7, John and Jools99: This was one of my first hubs. It was nominated for a hubnugget, which was a great welcome to HP for me. Glad you found it and enjoyed it. John, don't know that I've ever been called intuitive, but I like the sound of it! Thanks!

(phdast7: You'd be in the group but you are in a class by yourself!)


jantamaya profile image

jantamaya 4 years ago from UK

Dear Kathleen, I loved to read your story and wish you many years with your friends around :-).


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

jantamaya: Thanks for reading and commenting. This was one of my first hubs, nominated for a hubnugget, and still one of the most popular. I think a lot of people have this kind of support group throughout their lives. Don't know what I'd do without them.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

This is a terrific hub, Kathleen. Missed it the first time around, so I'm glad I got to read it today. Aren't cherished friends one of the most wonderful aspects of life? They are like family, only we get to choose them!

Jaye


mours sshields 4 years ago from Elwood, Indiana

I also have a lot of friends. Didn't use to be this way, long ago. But I feel like I made up for it later!

Well-written!

Marcia Ours


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Jay and mours: Glad you found this one! I am grateful for the folks who've gone to the trouble of keeping up with me!


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

friends are treasures. they give spice to our life! :)


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Couldn't agree more. Well said. Thanks for the read.


Tom Koecke profile image

Tom Koecke 3 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

To have a friend, one must be a friend. To have three friends who care so deeply for each other says a lot about you and your friends!


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

We're blessed. This was one of my first hubs and it hasn't been commented on in a while. Thanks for bringing it out of mothballs! It's one of my favorites. In fact, these free friends have it framed in their homes.


nnms profile image

nnms 3 years ago from India

True friendship is rare and precious.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

You are so right. Glad you found this. It was one of my first hubs. The attention it received encouraged me to write the other 100 or so hubs I've written in the last two years. Thanks for your comments.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 2 years ago from New York

First I have to say you are wrong about one thing Kathleen, your friends looks as good as or better than the actors on "Friends". Second, you are so lucky to have such angels in your life and truly that's what they are...I believe our good friends are God's angels and that's why they are always there for us!

Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 2 years ago from Deep South, USA

I enjoyed reading this one again and remembering all the times throughout my life that good friends saw me through good times and bad. Close friends are truly one of life's greatest blessings.

Jaye


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

tillsontitan: I will pass your compliment on to the girls. They will be impossible to live with! I am lucky to have them. One just moved back to Florida and we're devastated. But we've survived separations before, as I wrote about.

JayeWisdom: Thanks for putting up with the rerun. Good friends do see us through. Just had a long lunch with phdast7 and I don't know what I would have done this year without her - and my friends on HP!


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Kathleen - Glad to see this is still being read. I can never reread it without crying...and for me at least, crying is a good thing. Blessings! Theresa

P.S. Today was a good and necessary lunch/therapy session for both of us, which is as it should be. :) Selah.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

phdast7: As long as I have you, I will have no need of a therapist! HP works in that way too a lot of the time! Merry!


Nadine May profile image

Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

We have close friends, they are the most important in our lives. They are often with us during our whole life. Then today we have many friends due to the internet, like Facebook friends, or in our case Hubpage friends. You have written an great hub on the topic of friends. ( I made you a HP friend)


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

Nadine May: I'm honored to have a new friend. Facebook has put me in touch with so many old friends I'd lost touch with. Whatever else is said about FB, I'm grateful for that.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 21 months ago from Texas

Aw, this made me almost tear up. I probably would if my throat did not hurt so much. Beautiful tribute to friendship!


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 21 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

shanmarie: So sorry you don't feel well. Tylenol, garlic warm salt water, and get more rest. (Sorry - you never stop being a Mom!) Thanks for the nice comment and (I think) welcome to my hubs.


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 21 months ago from Home Sweet Home

You are lucky to have friends, after i left school, i lost in touch with my friends until now


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 21 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia Author

peachpurple: Welcome to my hubs. My friends and I have recently scattered to the four winds: Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, and Ireland! We now visit via Skype and dream of a trip to Ireland one day. But we've survived one of us going as far west as Washington State and as far east as Saudi Arabia, so my money is on our friendship lasting. Hope yours does as well.

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