Why can't I leave Him Alone/He's no good for me

" Why can't I leave him alone, he's no good for me?" is a question that millions of women ask themselves daily. Seemingly it is impossible to sever ties with someone who you have been in a relationship with for a period of time, whether that time is short or lengthy. Increasingly the proverbial rational for this situation is,"my heart is involved now, I love him, he'll change in time I can help him, he's going through I should be here for him and last but not least: I don't want to start over,etc." The first thing that comes to mind in looking reasonably at these dillemas is a phrase called "soul ties." A soul tie is the interwoven bonds of a relationship, the knitting together of two people in the soul realm. This can be positive or negative depending on who you allow yourself to connect to! Once you have developed and even nursed these  types of relationships they can be very hard to tear apart. One of the most common ways that these unions are sealed and bonded is through sexual intercourse! You share and even go through some of the same problems as your mate because you have allowed them to "release" into  you and your life what they are and who they have become. In other words you are now bonded to their characteristics, drama, etc. This can be negative especially if he dominates the relationship. For this reason a godly approach to dating and marrying is the best way to go. We are so quick to take the union to the bedroom that we don't allow ourselves to be stimulated and courted or even get to know the person with our minds, listening, watching, observing and finally asking the question, "why is this person here in my life, what does he want ultimately and is he here to help me or hinder me." Did you know that when you have multiple partners it becomes like a marriage to each person you are with! imagine all of the left over pieces of debris you allow to be deposited into your life! Remember sex is the conduit that seals the deal. Don't spread yourself thin, find out who God says you are. He says you are more than a conquerer and you have a sound(safe)mind. There is so much more to you than hardship and rotten relationships. Don't allow yourself to be mistreated verbally or physically. God gave you a built in warning system, use it and ask him to fine tune it. Don't tie in to something that will in the end tie you down!

Comments 16 comments

Demetrius 6 years ago

Good Stuff.


6 years ago

Makes alot of sense and I bet many women ask themselves that question all the time


bizymomof3 profile image

bizymomof3 6 years ago from New York City

women have a history of being with guys that are no good for them. Women should always put themselves first, and most of us don't. We put the relationship first. Guys put themselves first.


ladyt11 profile image

ladyt11 6 years ago Author

@Demetrius and E thanks for your comments! @bizymomof3, you certainly make a point worth looking at. In a lot of relationships your statement rings true. This is an aspect of relationships that is worth looking into because some women do feel that their only job is to put him on a pedastal and they forget about themselves. This makes the relationship one-sided and some guys do take advantage of this situation. Thanks again everyone for your comments keep em comin!


Liberate profile image

Liberate 6 years ago from Jesus Loves You

My Entire Life, I've Never Hurt A Female, I Don't Call Anyone Names, I'm Very Sweet. I'd Die For Anyone, I Talk To People In Depression, I Preach The Word Of God.

Now, Lets Just See How Sweet I Am... ( I'm Just Proving A Point, I Hate Myself )

I Believe Every Girl Is Beautiful, I Spend Hours Fighting With Girls, Proving They Are...

With Girls Who Found Depression, I Spend Hours Trying To Give Them Confidence.

I've Prevented At Least, 4 Girls From Self Inflicting Pain. (Via Wrist)

I've Enabled At Least 3 People To Believe In God.

Now, Fantastic?

I Have Very Few Friends, I've Never Been On A Date, I've Never Been Kissed. I'm Always Alone, I Pray For Someone To Hold Me, It Just Won't Happen.

Girls Always Find Themselfs To Mean Guys, Who Constantly Hurt Them, It's As If They Enjoy It.

I Believe Beauty Is On The Inside, Why Can't Girls See That With Me?


ladyt11 6 years ago

liberate, thank goodness for you, i say this based on what you have written because i don't know you. thank you for keeping girls from taking themselves out, thank you for trying to give them confidence, thank you for caring. You said you've never been on a date, never been kissed and you pray for someone to hold you, stay as kind as you are and keep praying it is bound to happen! you also make a good point, women a lot of times do subject themselves to pain thats one of the reasons i wrote this article, i know women like this personally. this article is not against men because there are wonderful men like yourself and others all over the world, i have them in my family. this is just a little help and advice for the women. thank you so much for stopping by my page and commenting, god bless ya!!


Liberate profile image

Liberate 6 years ago from Jesus Loves You

You're Amazing! Why Wouldn't I?

Ohh, I'd Do Anything To Please A Girl, I Truly Will Die For Anyone, In The Eyes Of God, It's The Least I Can Do... Helping Others.

I'll Spend The Rest Of My Life Helping People, Spending Time With Them.

The Reason I Live, Is Because Of The Thought, Of Having A Family.

Though, Some Men Can Just Have Too Much Stupidity, I Cry Over There Actions.

We Can Be Unique, And Stand For Pride.

Continue With These Writings, God Loves You Soo Much.

I'll Support You Though Anything, Any Issue, Any Problem.

God Bless You.


ladyt11 profile image

ladyt11 6 years ago Author

You're amazing too liberate! Thank you!


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lindsay 4 years ago

I need God so much in my life right now. I have been in a relationship for 2 and a half years, and everything is making me so depressed right now. He has been hitting on other woman and watching porn. I need help, I just want to run away, but I have no one else. Please say a pryor for me.


Victoriana 4 years ago

Love & loneliness have a lot to answer too, but you can have both together. Single people don't appreciate you can be lonely with a soulless mate.


ladyt11 profile image

ladyt11 4 years ago Author

To lindsay, God loves you and he always has. God did not make you to be someone's sidekick you are too precious. If he's hitting on other women and watching porn his heart is not with you and this is an issue now and will be an issue for you also in the future. Walk away from what is hurting and depressing you and ask God to reveal himself to you and help you, he will! Find out who he says you are in his word, I will be praying for you!


Grace 4 years ago

thanks ladyt11

Awesome... you touch on unhealthy and ungodly soul ties in r/s... esp those in the romance dept. How true it is to be negatively involved with someone through the most ultimate union of the spirit, soul and body.. sex is a beautiful God-created gift for marriage relationship and union, hence it is not to be taken lightly!

To everyone on this hub, i share these with you:

Every sexual relationship ties the person(s)/partners into the deepest bonding of the spirit, mind, emotion, will and body and whatever is of the partner will be tied to you, especially when it is of the dark side...very dangerous to be caught up in this spiritual realm as the Devil can oppress, depress and confuse you if you in a sexual r/s. There is the transference of evil spirits through such a union and bonding!

Love yourself because Jesus loves you as an individual. Find your self-worth, significance and security in Him!


ladyt11 3 years ago

Good words Grace! We don't understand that it is like a marriage. Notice the bible said and Adam knew his wife, speaking of Eve. This statement was made after their union of sex. He than knew her, this is reminiscent of an actual wedding ceremony when the band is placed on the finger of the bride if you think about it. We need to consider that life is being pored into us (the seed of the man) and everytime you allow that into your body it strengthens the connection, its like a marriage. Think about the ties that we form when we abuse the use of sex and have it out of order, outside a marriage. Thanks again for your post and for reading my hub!


Grace 3 years ago

Hi liberate, if you are still on this hub, please be encouraged that great is your reward in heaven!

I, too, share your sentiments.. i love and care for others & i am gracious too! yet what i faced was similar disappointments like you have!

You need not die for anymore because Jesus Christ already died for everyone! Take heart and wait upon the Lord to bring you someone like-minded! Meanwhile, continue enjoying the Lord's love for you and keep your eyes focus on Jesus!

It just so happen that you have not met that suitable helpmate! Do not despair!

I do find it strange that gals are drawn to bad boys but in the end they are only using and abusing them....probably, speaking from a female's viewpoint, we like guys who are playful a little, but in the long run it is the good character that counts!

So if the gal stay on with the bad guy, she will be hurt deeply because he will only play with her heart and emotions!


mariasial profile image

mariasial 3 years ago from united kingdom

Good thought and well written article but for you and all your readers if you think you are confuse and can't decide you wanted to leave him or not please read this ... a check list of serious relationship ... if he pass with at least 7/10 continue with him but if he score less than 5 you should leave him try it now

http://hubpages.com/relationships/checklistforseri...

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