How Do You Leave Your Girlfriend For Another Girl Without Hurting Her?

READERS QUESTION:

What is the best way to break-up with a girlfriend without hurting her?

I have been dating this lovely lady for about seven months now but I've met someone else who is much better (I'm not a player!). I am a very polite guy and I don't want to hurt her feelings. So the question is... How do I get rid of her? (In a nice way).


RESPONSE FROM StrickltyDating:

Wow, I hope the grass is really greener for you because this breakup is likely to hurt your girlfriend so much that she will be unlikely to take you back should you change your mind in the future. So, spend some time seriously thinking about what it will be like without her in your life at all before you decide to end your relationship.

If it turns out that you made a mistake and the new girl isn't everything you thought she'd be the chances are your current girlfriend will not forgive you should you come running back.

Usually I would advise you to end a relationship by sitting down face to face and talking honestly to your partner about it. Give them the chance to express their feelings and ask any questions and take time to answer them so that you can part ways there and then, with a clean break. But I'm hesitant to advise you do that in this situation because it could just lead to yelling and screaming, and your things being thrown out the window! So instead, I'll tell you what it's likely to feel like from her point of view, so that you can decide for yourself the best way to approach your situation.

You see, this is one of the WORST possible situations for a women to be in. Seriously. Even if she does not happen to be head over heels in love with you at this point in time, this situation, when she finds out about it, will hurt her very badly. This is because you are chosing someone else over her. And you are chosing this other person while your already in a committed relationship with her (She thinks). No amount of you being "Polite" about it is going to make very much difference. It will hurt her no matter how you put it to her.

She is going to wonder things along the lines of: At what point in your relationship did you fall for the other woman. Have you been cheating? She is going to think of the worst senario's in her mind because it's going to catch her totally off guard. Then, she is going to wonder who knows about this (If any of your mutual friends know - And afterwards she may ask around). She is going to think this other woman stole you from her. She is going to think about you being intimate with this woman and she is going to be angry at the thought of the things you may be doing together for some time to come. She will wonder what it is about herself which wasn't good enough for you and she will wonder what this new woman has that she hasn't got. She will be very angry with you, and try to contact you several times to let you know about it. She is going to be angry at your new woman (Even though she does not know her) and she may just want to try to talk to her too. she is going to feel like what you've done is very embarrassing to her as a person.

If you tell her the whole truth there will be anger, frustration and tears. There will be a hundred questions she wants answered over a period of a few weeks... Brace yourself! There's just no way to leave a committed relationship for someone else and expect the dumped person to say and do nothing about it, no matter what the dumped persons personality. When there's someone else involved it gets messy!

You are probably better to say that you feel you've enjoyed the relationship but you don't feel a strong enough connection to take things further. Something like that will still hurt a girl who loves you, but it's easier for her if she doesn't know about the new woman. But there may still be questions and the truth often has a way of coming out, so only you can decide what you need to do to end your relationship with the least amount of hassle possible, so that your ex does not try to interfere (Or continue contact with you) when you start your new relationship.

Hope this helps!

StricktlyDating

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Comments: 13 comments

travel_man1971 profile image

travel_man1971 4 years ago from Bicol, Philippines

Two years ago, I had a very serious quarrel with the girl I intended to marry. Meddling of two families (with her sister and my sisters quarreling) opted me to back up. Even her relatives are still after me because of that painful incident.

Sorry If I hurt someone of your kind, but I'm hoping to never repeat my mistake.


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

It's so lovely to hear more about you msorensson! You are lucky to have such offers from successful men, and you are right to always be true to yourself! Thankyou so kindly for your comments.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago

Yes,I know,strictlydating...On a different scale, many of my men friends ask me to marry them..it is more for comfort, rather than romance..they are comfortable with me..Because most of them are highly successful, quite a few would welcome that offer..I feel bad when they do and really wish that they would find someone, but I cannot marry other than for love..the whole thing..and this is the reason we are friends..for life. They know that if I ever accept such an offer, there is at least a chance there can be romance. But to thine own self be true..I will always be true to myself..


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Camo Girl, so glad you've been good! All good here.

Thanks for your comment Msorensson I agree with you about that, it's just very difficult to leave someone for someone else without the other person feeling hurt.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 4 years ago

If you cannot give one hundred percent of yourself..then leaving the other person will be the just thing to do, to give her a chance to find happiness elsewhere..


Camo Girl!! 4 years ago

I have been good! i have just meet this guy and he makes me happy and how have you been doing?


swb64 profile image

swb64 4 years ago from Addingham, UK.

I would suggest folks should not leave someone for someone else, that will also fail, if one is not happy, finish it and have some time to gather your thoughts on what you really need, well wrote though!


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks Camo Girl! Nice to hear from you. Hope you've been going well ;)


Camo Girl!! 4 years ago

Very Good Hub!!!


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Dale,

It seems like you're very much a gentleman.

Always lovely to read your comments, thankyou!


Inspired to write profile image

Inspired to write 4 years ago from Wales UK

Hi stricktlydating

Nice to read your hub, & your recommended advice for this dire situation.

Dating is learning about the partner you are with currently enabling you to see if you are compatible in every way possible, plus, more importantly, although you may think of me as selfish, but, it's what YOU want out of relationships & your life, because if you are not happy (& true to yourself) then others around you will feel the implications.

Relationship breakdowns will always be a heartache especially if one loves but the other don't, it hurts, but one must move on & seek what they want.

I would sit with my current lady & tell her right out that I don't think this is going anywhere, & we did try, hope you understand but I must move on.

Thank you for an interesting hub.

Regards Dale


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

G'Day Bob! Oh dear, I dare not ask what real men know about women! And I'm sure it's not true about when they broke up with you, maybe they just didn't let you see their heartbreak.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

Women have hardly ever bothered to commiserate when they broke up with me...I learned the hard way what real men know about women. Check with evolution Bob

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