Being Married to a "Womanizer"

Personality of a womanizer

Sneaky
Sneaky
Liar
Liar
Womanizer
Womanizer
Cheater
Cheater

A Womanizer is...

Can a lion transform itself into an elephant? Can it survive as a vegetarian? Can it be domesticated completely and safely? Just a few of the questions that can "un-lion" a lion.

A womanizer is a man, single or married, who just loves to play games and explores possible intimacy with every woman that attracts him, and worse, with any woman, attractive or not, decent or loose, slut or nun, etc., that comes his way or within his reach. He is "blood-thirsty" for anything "woman" and would do anything to get what he wants. For this type of personality, each woman has a passion different from the rest of the women he had known and therefore each is worth venturing and experimenting for the thrill of it and in order to feed his natural hunger for attention, to control and many other kinky and selfish motives to feed his desires and fantasies.

He has no real and natural sense of values or respect for the feelings of one special woman for nobody fits his voracious lust for anything woman; but he enjoys the game of experiencing every woman's varied passion. It is natural to him; selfishness, greed and lies are his expertise and natural state of being. There is nothing else to learn for him regardless of lectures, heartaches, divorces, even imprisonment in extreme cases. Just like the lion who cannot transform himself into an elephant or anything "non-lion" and live like elephants or whatever, a womanizer cannot transform himself into a "wholesome and a one-woman-man husband". He is not a husband material for a wholesome lady but can be a "breeder" to spread his genetically defective "seed" to sire bastards to replenish the earth.


Separation is the result of infidelity
Separation is the result of infidelity

Outgrowing a meaningless marriage.

I value integrity, loyalty, honesty and sincerity of intention especially in marriage. My 18 years of marriage was not all bad. I had a "perfect" husband until I discovered the "skeleton in the closet". I forgave him for the nth time. Forgiving him even when I was spiritually, psychologically, socially and physically "damaged". Speaking of "unconditional love", haven't I practiced and lived it?

I stuck to that marriage despite all those evidences of his womanizing; who needs a broken home? I was still hoping with all hopes that my forgiving heart might change him and make him come back to the fold of natural joys for having a good family. Decent, professional, independent, high moral values, Godly, educated wife; not to mention the fulfilling sexual life. Didn't I get pregnant seven times more which almost killed me due to STD? What more can a husband ask for a wife. We have two beautiful children. The drama had been very painful and cutting to the soul and I gave him another chance and another and another.

But I am not a saint, much less an angel, I have limitations too especially when I had done everything and nothing works; ignoring my peer's advice to leave him even angered them to the point that my friends gradually left me, branding me as a weak personality. They would say I was an impossibly callous martyr. They will never know my strong principle, I wanted to save my marriage because I didn't want to be another man's wife; no, not any man who is not the father of my children; besides, promiscuity is not in my blood.

When I realized that he was instead trying his best to be more secretive and had mastered his secrecy sneaky activities more seriously instead of changing his ways, then I gave up and turned everything in the hands of God and the universe.

Instead of quarreling or confronting him angrily, I remained calm and maintained my sanity. It is not my fault if he has a voracious taste for cheap and loose women that he met in the street. The prostitutes, the unwed mothers, those having criminal records for theft and shop-lifting, the single mothers who had not even finished elementary education; these were his choices. He enjoyed their promiscuous, mundane and flirty ways.

What I did was I get myself preoccupied in educating myself; getting three Master's degrees in the university, doing my job well until I was promoted to the top position in the Department of Education in the region while I continued to pray for him and it's up to God what is best in my marriage.

There was a time when I still cared for him and longed for him to value what blessings he had in his family, but the time has come when I woke up and realized that I had nothing left for him, I didn't care anymore because I had better things to do for myself and my children; except for being the father of my children which I consider a blessing, for me he did not exist anymore.

I made the decision, "From now onward, I will take care of myself completely as well as take charge of my responsibility as the mother of my two beautiful children." I was made strong as the result of marrying a womanizer; and I come out a winner.

Lesson for women: If you love your children, love yourself first of all; don't allow any man to run you down, even if he is the father of your kids.

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Comments 29 comments

Anonymous 19 months ago

Hi. I m also experiencing something similar. 18 yrs of marriage n I discover that my husband has been cheating on me for last 6 yrs in different relationship while he travelled for work. It was do difficult to believe he was a doting husband showering me wid gifts and being very loving. My 16 yrs old son also is in a shock. I m unable to reconcile could u please give me done coping strategies. I m distraught unable to concentrate on anything.


jocelyn_gene@yahoo.com 2 years ago

I thought i was d only 1 having a womanizer husband


Safia 3 years ago

Awesome lady...i felt as if i myself was writing while reading this post of yours...simply beautiful and natural...i pray for you..bcoz im going through the same experience and its very hard and painfull..i know bcoz i felt it myself...keep posting..would love to read more from you..regards


Globetrekkermel profile image

Globetrekkermel 3 years ago from CALIFORNIA

Hi Jynzly. don't worry. am glad that you are doing good inspite of everything. any chance of coming to the States yet?


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Globetrekkermel,

Hi Globe...I am a bit remorseful to see that your message had been here 13 days ago and I had not responded. I am so sorry. I was chatting with my husband at the time I first saw this message and I had to attend to him first...thinking of going back to hubpages after him...apparently that did not happen for some reasons...my apology.

By the way, I agree with you that my principle in terms of purity in relationship is easier said than done...but it could still be done for as long as one knows what he/she exactly want...nothing is impossible...I still believe in this...

Thanks for the thoughts.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Hi Sara, first thanks for dropping by. I don't think that your husband's womanizing has something to do with your beauty..."or not super beautiful"...many married men continue chasing other women , some of the other women are uglier than their wives...Stop blaming yourself for your husband's womanizing. True beauty in women is not just the form and the look...beauty is more on the animated part of the woman...discover it.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

sara ,

Hi Sara, first thanks for dropping by. I don't think that your husband's womanizing has something to do with your beauty..."or not super beautiful"...many married men continue chasing other women , some of the other women are uglier than their wives...Stop blaming yourself for your husband's womanizing. True beauty in women is not just the form and the look...beauty is more on the animated part of the woman...discover it.


sara 3 years ago

I'm really getting crazy about my husband! sometimes I think that maybe if I was super beautiful then maybe he wouldn't run after and look at other women like that! but I'm not sure!


Globetrekkermel profile image

Globetrekkermel 3 years ago from CALIFORNIA

I know what you mean , Jynz.Easier said than done, isn't it? Although, I have never personally confronted infidelity issues with my husband ( thank , God) I can certainly understand the turmoil a woman has to go through when she comes face to face with the infidelity of her significant other.If only we ,as women ,are equipped to pick the brain of men why they do the things they do, wouldn't that be a wonderful weapon? That's already half of the battle won. We , as women wouldn't be as anguished and tortured mentally and emotionally if we can read and understand better the workings of men's minds thus finding better alternatives to spare us ,women ,from more anguish and desolation.but then life is far from perfect and we have no choice but to deal with it the best way we know how. God save us, really! And hope for the best .


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Hi Globe, thanks for the comment...you are entitled to your own oponion. I don't really care about the trend of relationships before and nowadays...personal integrity has nothing to do with what ordinary minds and idiots do...I am still for loyalty and high moral values, that's the only way I can maintain a relationship...It has to be pure or nothing at all...


Globetrekkermel profile image

Globetrekkermel 3 years ago from CALIFORNIA

Let's face it,men and women both especially these days , are prone to commit indescretion and infidelity. I was just thinking about this not too long ago as I was reading a book about the myths of relationships and its spiritual implications. Times have definitely changed and if we were to go back on the history of relationships between men and women, infidelity is really nothing new.It goes back to biblical times. I think expecting your significant other to be purely monogamous in your relationship is quite a daunting task these days. I am not saying it is an accepted norm but the fact is , that is a reality these days. Men and women both , one way or the other , will be tempted to look the other way. With easy access to temptations these days-thanks to the advanced technology in communication-looking the other way is a lot harder to resist as compared to the previous generation.If it was done then even before the advent of of sophisticated technology of communication, I will be hard pressed not to see that the phenomenon of easy communication is not the culprit of the so called"INFIDELITY ISSUES" of the modern day man.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Sona,

Regardless of whether we are financially dependent on them or not...a beleaguering husband is always a cheater..."nature of the beast" so to speak...

Thanks for dropping by.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Sona,

Regardless of whether we are financially dependent on them or not...a beleaguering husband is always a cheater..."nature of the beast" so to speak...

Thanks for dropping by.


Sona 3 years ago

Why we women get stuck with such kind of disgusting cowards....just because we are financially dependent on them that we have to take all kinds of wrong doings we are dolled out.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

hindu ,

First, Thank you for dropping by and for reading my hub. I know that lots, if not most wives have experienced some degrees of infidelity from their husbands. Men are just made that way, they have such inherent lust or carnality for sex...only men who work hard on their willpower can have decent discipline concerning integrity and loyalty to their wives. Given this premise as true, the only thing a woman, a wife particularly, can do is to attend to herself 100%. Attend to her own personal well-being, health, intellectual capacity and interests, etc. The idea is to divert your attention from a husband who is an idiot and who continues to mess his life by fu...ing around. Good Luck and God Bless.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

hindu ,

First, Thank you for dropping by and for reading my hub. I know that lots, if not most wives have experienced some degrees of infidelity from their husbands. Men are just made that way, they have such inherent lust or carnality for sex...only men who work hard on their willpower can have decent discipline concerning integrity and loyalty to their wives. Given this premise as true, the only thing a woman, a wife particularly, can do is to attend to herself 100%. Attend to her own personal well-being, health, intellectual capacity and interests, etc. The idea is to divert your attention from a husband who is an idiot and who continues to mess his life by fu...ing around. Good Luck and God Bless.


hindu 3 years ago

i am going through the same seriously i am hurt i need help i am helpless here i have 2 kids and my husband is philander he said he change but i have doubt scred to leave my kids with him worried to go counselling either i am clueless please help me i need someone to talk please i am 100% your situation no difference

contact me hindu_my@yahoo.com


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Mahsamosahab,

Thank you for reading my hub. This experience really affects me to the core of my soul that even until now I lost trust to men, any man and I start hating myself when I love a man again. For me all men are liars, lacking sense of values and are ignorant of the value of integrity and faithfulness to their wives...all men are mere animals, er brutes that are only sexually motivated and are slaves to sexual urges so that they are easily tempted if not chasing any woman that they find interesting enough to arouse their sexuality and sexual perversions and kinks.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Mahsamosahab,

Thank you for reading my hub. This experience really affects me to the core of my soul that even until now I lost trust to men, any man and I start hating myself when I love a man again. For me all men are liars, lacking sense of values and are ignorant of the value of integrity and faithfulness to their wives...all men are mere animals, er brutes that are only sexually motivated and are slaves to sexual urges so that they are easily tempted if not chasing any woman that they find interesting enough to arouse their sexuality and sexual perversions and kinks.


Mahsamosahab 3 years ago

This made me cry. Thank you!


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Thank you for dropping by.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 3 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Thanks for that comment LyLy.


Lyly 3 years ago

I experienced nearly same feeling,but i can tell u that u are a strong mother may God bless u.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 4 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Eyvette,

Thanks for dropping by.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 4 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

Eyvette,

First, thank you for reading my hub and am glad that I can be of inspiration to your situation.

Just remember; children are blessings if we model to them the life that they can choose to live.

We allow ourselves to make mistake whether we are aware of it or not, but the last thing we should do is to hate and punish ourselves for the mistakes we had done. Some mistakes are light and are easy to correct but most mistakes are grieve enough for us to divert from the dream life we should have liked to live.

Forgiving our mistakes then loving and accepting ourselves completely as we are, including all our flaws are basic to learning from our mistakes and to move on to another phase in our existence; this time a better person with a better life.

I wish you all the good things in life; it's available to everyone, just open your eyes.


Eyvette 4 years ago

I feel better after reading this. I am married to one with several children outside our marriage. It's emotionally painful and psychoilogically draining but then I have to move on and accept the fact that i made the wrong choice and just take care of my son, by the way im 7 months on the way. thanks for the inspiration.


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 4 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA Author

You're welcome.


Sultan Ahmad99 4 years ago from Lahore, Pakistan

thank you for write this artcle i enjoy this


Sultan Ahmad99 4 years ago from Lahore, Pakistan

thank you for write this artcle i enjoy this

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