Not All Men Stare At Women

No Staring!
No Staring! | Source

I'm a man who has never stared at women.

I think the reality comes into play when most guys are just selfish horn dogs looking to get whatever play they can get - I've seen it - and it's disgusting. I've never been into this sort of ignorant and selfish behavior. I treat people like they are people, not items at my disposal.

Then again, I can't lay all the blame on the guys either, women can be as bad or worse, and since the days of chivalry are beyond them, in a way they promote their own degradation, most even in full support of it, stating it's how to live "in a man's world."

Well that's just B.S.

Men- Stop being egomaniacs and hell-bent on being some all-powerful entity who thinks they can do as they please without repercussions. You're just as mortal as the next guy.

Have a little faith and stop worrying about being downed in front of your fellows - if they down you for showing you have a heart, they aren't your friends. Meanwhile, be yourself and, yes, love yourself, and if you can't approach a woman with honest intent and treat them as both a human being and a lady, then don't approach them - if you get turned away from them, fine, if you're a gentleman it's their loss, if you're not then you don't deserve them anyway - then again, not every female is there to take a shot at and you should already have acknowledged that factor - it's horribly demeaning, hence this question I'm answering.

Women- Stop with the lame sheep-following routine - for yourself. Gain some self love and motivate yourself to be better than that. You don't have to "dress to impress" anyone - stop with the support for the skank outfits of a few strings covering your bodies and put some damn clothes on. Stop with the plastic surgeries to gain recognition while suffering both your body and your dignity. Try eating right and being healthy, too, not striving for that ultra-slim, overrated bull-honky - love who you are and find someone who will treat you with decency and respect - you deserve it.

But don't be so hasty to ultimately reject any guy who comes near you - remember the best ones ARE respecting your space already and they are the ones who do admire you for who you are - that's why it's so hard for them to approach you - sometimes they need a little push of confidence in an otherwise shameful world of controversy at every turn. I'm not saying to let your guard down, but give a guy, and yourself, a chance to open up and see if there's potential.

To Both - Let it be agreed on that either of you might not agree with the other after some time - it may not be meant to be - and you should both be realistic and honest to each other throughout any intimate engagement. Don't take your significant other for granted - ever.

NO - It's not okay to stare. Not alone, and especially not when you're with someone. Respect one another or just stay away. For you immature types - there's porn, have at it if sleaze city is your homage. If you ever want to grow up and enjoy being in love with someone, you know where you need to start drawing the line for your immaturity in yourself, for yourself.

'Nuff said.

- Christopher Dapo


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Comments 25 comments

sassydee profile image

sassydee 4 years ago from los angeles, ca

Absolutely awesome voted up!


lbeltran 4 years ago

Good but i rather have GODbless me with a wife!!! Jesus is lord HAHA!!!;-)


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Thank you for reading, sassydee, and for the vote up, too.

- Christopher


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Ibeltran, thank you for the comment.

If you have as much love in your heart for God and Jesus, then you should do fine finding a wife to love as well, don't you think? After all, God hasn't put you here to do everything for you, has he? ;-)

- Christopher


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Great work here Christopher;I now look forward to many more by you.

Take care and enjoy your day.

Eddy.


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Thank you very much, Eddy, I like to be honest and, if I can, lend a hand to decipher the confusion that is humanity.

- Christopher


Debbie 4 years ago

Great article- I spoke to someone just like u- have we met?? Debbie Dallas ;)


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Thank you very much, Debbie. I doubt we've met, but you never know, I've forgotten more people, who've come and gone, more than most will probably ever know. I know, though, without being egotistical, most people who've met me don't easily forget me. :)

- Christopher


Debbie 4 years ago

Oh OK!! Why- may I ask - do u have u and S?? Please explain - THANK U


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

No problem, Debbie, S. and I are a colaborative writing team of two. That, and S. is here to back me up, too. Just so you know I'm not just talking out my ass about this. :)

- Christopher


Wifey 4 years ago

WOW! What amazing thoughts coming from a man!! Hmmm many woman probably didn't think existed!! There needs to be many many more men like you-- hopefully you raise your offspring to be amazing as yourself!! ;) if or if not u do/ don't have children??? But if/ when they will be lead by a great leader-- keep em coming- your words are wisdom to woman!! ;))


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Thank you for your compliment, Wifey, but honestly I wish this wasn't the case - I'm seriously appalled of my fellow men and their less-than-childish behaviors that have led to this.

I experienced this draught situation from both my father and my brother and they never understood why I always kept a passive tone to them, even when I presented them with my way of telling them how dumb I think pornography is as well -

- Do you ever feel like you're a stud horse staring at a merry-go-round?

...It's just that stupid.

As for the question about children, no, I won't be having any, which I feel is the truest way to show my offspring that I love them - by not bringing them into this horrible world to suffer like S. and I have. We both agree that the senseless procreating has got to stop - people can't even care about each other enough to respect each other's boundaries, especially gawking, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Just take a look at some of S's Awareness Articles here to get a glimpse of the true horrors we're all plagued with. Like S. or I want our kids to suffer from any of that - HELL NO!!

I just have to mention one more thing involving the over-population problem, that has to do with this article (the ignorance involved) as well as those "words of wisdom" you so mentioned above, and that is this -

Why is it, through all the bickering, back-stabbing, cheating, gawking, and all the rest of the non-loving displays we see happening more and more each day, is there so much procreation going on that elevates even more suffering to more and more people, and it all happens from quick-to-jump-in-the-sack couples who never loved each other to begin with?

(by the way - honestly - the best fun is when you truely ARE in love, and truely MAKE love - anything outside this is like my "merry-go-round" saying - and that's an honest, solid fact!! (I know))

Sorry for the long-winded reply, I hope it doesn't scare you away or anything, it's just the honesty I feel I had to say.

If you do, thanks for listening...

- Christopher


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

To Debbie:

Please, no more off topic posts.

Use the "Contact" link above with a legitimate return email address for posts directed personally, otherwise please stay on topic.

Thank you.

- Christopher


Debbie 4 years ago

I know I'm sowry


angied83 profile image

angied83 4 years ago

Hi Christopher, I find this statement true:

remember the best ones ARE respecting your space already and they are the ones who do admire you for who you are - that's why it's so hard for them to approach you

My current boyfriend courted me for almost a year before I finally decided to say yes. Before that he tried to court me a few years back but never quite got the courage to tell me (we were college students then).


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Hello angied83, thank you for commenting. Honestly, what you've described sounds like me! The two serious relationships I've had in my life went pretty much the same. The first girlfriend that was true had been a friend of mine for about 4 years before we started dating. The truth is we were just friends all the way, until we decided to date, and it was because we were already fairly inseperable, knew each other well, and had a long, trustworthy bond with each other.

Honestly, I don't know why most men have such a hard time befriending women more often instead of being more concerned with relational matters off the bat. In that, couples usually don't even take the time to get to know each other before tying the knot, then they find out things don't work out after the fact. It's just sad.

I appreciate you putting your experience up here and thanks again for the support.

- Christopher


angied83 profile image

angied83 4 years ago

Hi Christopher, a lot of men just dont seem to think using their brains. It's really quite rude to stare at women with hungry eyes! I've visited Dubai which is a really lovely place but I was very appalled by the way men seem to think they have the right to stare at women like they were undressing them. I have a lot of respect however for men who know how to treat women properly. In some cultures, boys are raised to respect their female counterparts. Im happy to say my boyfriend was raised in such a manner -- seems like you were too! :-)


Rocco 4 years ago

Im a man and I Never stare.. I only have eyes for my Wife- truthfully she's the best thing I ever laid eyes on, let alone all the Other things about her!!

I agree with you here bro... What does it REALLY do for someone to check out another person- go deep within those thoughts and find a reasonable answer- that's worth the consequence! Vote up!!


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Awesome, Rocco!

If only those guys who do would learn, huh?

Thanks for the comment.

- Christopher


UR-GOREGOUS 4 years ago

Men stare at everything! Nice cars driving by, nice legs, chests, buttockxxs, etc. being the age you are, you are HONESTLY saying you NEVER- EVER LOOKED?? Why? Not! What makes you different?

Regardless, you are a good man, it seems! Maybe I shall write a woman's version


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Thank you UR-GOREGOUS. Nice cars, sometimes, but no, staring at people like they are objects is automatically just wrong. Unlike most I've come to know, I do think about others and how they would feel.

If you decide to write a version from a lady's perspective, I'd like to read it sometime. Best wishes!

- Christopher


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

To Jim and Deb -

First off, there seems to be some confusion here.

Deb, I'm not the one you've been confusing me with, I don't have your email address (the ones you've been using to contact me with all show up as fakes, which is why I don't respond to you), I'm not this person you conversed with.

As for the help you need, don't be down on yourself, there truely is much to live for. Love yourself, you deserve it, no matter how your life has been there is always hope and never give up on yourself and your dreams.

To Jim, I don't know what relationship you have going on with debbie here, but you need to take more consideration for her as well as yourself. If you are honest and decent, and grant consideration and respect, outside of just thinking about yourself (see our article on empathy), you should have nothing to fear.

I know you read this article so I'm hoping you both see this response and this long-winded confusion can come to a close.

Deb, if you establish a real email address and would like to discuss things further, please feel free to send another message directly (as you've been doing - I have been recieving them), this time with a real email address so I can send you return emails.

Jim, if you would like someone you could talk to as well, feel free to use the "contact Christopher Dapo" link at the top, along with an actual email address, and I will respond to your messages, too.

I'm not promising anything, but I will do what I can to help you two should you ask. Again, this is mostly to sort the confusion that has been made evident to me now.

Sorry for the confusion to the other readers here, as well as going off-topic, I hope this doesn't discern anyone from addressing this article or otherwise commenting.

My sincerest appologies and thank you for reading.

- Christopher


daisy 4 years ago

do you have an email address? I have a body image disorder and I hold the same values as you in regards to this. That being said, I feel very alone in this world.


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 4 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Hello Daisy, I'm sorry about your situation. I hope you can overcome your disability and find someone who can appreciate you for who you are. That being said, I'm willing to be a friend and you can email me by using the "Contact Christopher Dapo" link above.

Best prayers and wishes to you.

- Chris


Christopher Dapo profile image

Christopher Dapo 3 years ago from Havelock, NC Author

Thanks for the comment, mahua sengupta, and the vote up is very much appreciated. You are so true in your statement, too! If only more people would acknowledge what matters more concerning relationships, we might see the world as a better place to be in one.

- Chris

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