Preparing for Marriage
Preparing for Marriage
A married man was traveling in an aircraft and he had his wedding ring on the wrong finger and someone noticed it and told him 'sir you have your wedding ring on the wrong finger and he said its because I married the wrong woman. Its not because he married the wrong woman but because he did not prepare for marriage. A marriage you don't prepare for will confuse you when you get there. It is preparation that determines your experience. People spend years in the higher institution to become a banker, lawyer and even doctor but they don't spend time to prepare for this life time event called marriage. They think they don't have to prepare, all they need to do is find a partner and match to the alter and then get married.
You don't prepare in marriage you prepare for marriage. You don't learn how to shoot in the battle field, you learn how to shoot before the battle begins. As you make your bed, so you lie on it. There is no accidental fulfillment in marriage, if you want to be fulfilled in marriage, the you have to prepare yourself for marriage and there is no better time to prepare for marriage than now that you are single. I will like to congratulate you as a single. To be single is not a sin. Its better to be single and believing God for marriage than to be married believing God to be single. So many don't understand what it means to be single, so they are in a haste to get married. Life is in phase and men are in sizes. Every phase in life prepares you for another phase and being a single is a phase that prepares you for the phase of marriage. There are many things you can do as a single that you cannot do when you are married. Your time as a single is a very important and God gave it to you for the primary purpose of preparation. Some people are having problem in marriage today including Christian couples not because there is anything wrong with there partner but because they did not prepare themselves. They think marriage is just finding a partner. A tall, rich and handsome man, Holy Ghost filled and dollar loaded, but that's not all there is to marriage. Every successful marriage is as a result of adequate preparation.
One of the ways to prepare for marriage is to acquire adequate knowledge. Whatever you don't know is greater than you. When you don't know the functions in your phone, you will not enjoy the facilities it has to offer despite the fact you bought it with your money and they are in the phone. When it came to marriage, Jesus recommended reading. Mathew 19 verses 3-4 says 'and the Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him and saying unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for any reason and he answered and said unto them, have you not read, He which made them made them male and female. Jesus number one prescription for marriage is reading. Before your wedding day, you are expected to have read at least fifteen books on marriage and if you know how far that journey is and how you need to prepare, you will know that those fifteen books are too small. Marriage is a journey you have never embarked on and the best thing to do is to inquire from those that have been there before you. What you don't know you will suffer for it. Some do not know why they are getting married, all they know is that everyone around them is getting married so they too shouldn't be an exception. While some are because of the pressure from their parents and it doesn't matter to them, whoever comes born again or not they just marry.
When you read, you find out what marriage is all about. Lack of understanding of the purpose of marriage will turn it to a civil war. When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. God said that its not good for a man to be alone and that He will make him a help meet. Marriage is not all about taking advantage of the other, its for meeting needs. God made the marriage platform for the man to meet the woman's need and for the woman to also meet the mans needs. There are certain basic needs in a mans life that he can never meet for himself likewise the woman.
When you study, you get to learn about the gender differences. The reason men behave the way they do and the reason women behave the way they do. A man said 'my wife talks like a parrot' that's why you are there to listen to her. The woman is complaining that the man is looking for attention, that's why you are there. Women are created with verbal power. Their power is in their mouth. They can talk from morning till night. If you are privileged to have little children, a boy and a girl you notice that the girls is sharper than that of the boy. When they grow up it doesn't leave them. They grow with that nature. Failure to understand this difference will lead to quarrel in marriage.
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Some people may say they are not even thinking of marriage until five or seven years time, that should be the mean reason you ought to start preparing before time. many think that there is no need to prepare for marriage, so they just pick a partner and walk up to the alter and get married only to wake up after few months, the woman will look at the man and tell him ' i didn't know you are like this' and then the man looks at the woman and say 'as a matter of fact you are the worst thing that has ever happened to me in life. I wonder what i was doing when i got married to you. What i saw when i was coming is no longer what am seeing today.
In the court of law, ignorance is not an excuse. You need to be trained in other to rain in life and have a successful marriage. That you are not aware of the things that you require to make your marriage work wont make it work. The aspect of preparation is your sole responsibility. Whatever comes out of your marriage is as a result of your preparation, A computer language G.I.G.O is also applicable to marriage. Whatever you put into your marriage is what you are going to receive back. The more you dig deep, the closer you are to the gold.
When some people say they are preparing for marriage, actually they are preparing for wedding. There is a difference between wedding and marriage. A day after wedding is marriage. Wedding is just a matter of few hours and no matter how big your wedding is, no matter how much you shake the city, all your quest will bid you bye-bye and happy married life. When they are all gone, the real business of marriage begins. Whatever is your preparation will begin to speak.
I have met quite a number of people getting ready for marriage and i ask them how are you preparing and they say ' we have bought the suit for the man and wedding gown for the woman and some bags of rice. They have been blinded by wedding. Wedding is just an initiation into marriage. That you have a successful wedding does not guarantee that your marriage will be very smooth and very successful. A lady said on her wedding day she will put on white wedding gown on a white horse and with a white umbrella and i know that she doesn't know how to cook. The success of your wedding has absolutely nothing to do with your marriage. The success of your marriage is dependent on your preparation before marriage. You don't learn how to shoot in the battle field but before the battle begins other wise you will shoot yourself or your fellow soldier. The most dangerous soldier is one that was sent to the battle field without preparation. When preparation meets with opportunity the result is always success. That soldier may shoot himself or his team. Knowledge is power and ignorance is deadly.
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