Ten Things to Look for in a Man

Love is all around....

So, Valentine's Day has come and gone and you made it. Now the world is at your feet, along with all the men in it. So how's a gal to choose the 'perfect man'?

Wait. Did I say 'perfect'? Okay. Maybe that's setting the bar a little high. How about a 'thoughtful, considerate, attentive man'? Hmmmm...still a little tough, you say?

Okay...how's this. How about we simplify things. How about we just choose a man. Oh, and breathing would be good.

10. Mobility

it's a good thing. Men who are at least ambulatory are already step ahead. There's so much potential there: potential walks in the park; potential strolls in the moonlight; potential dancing.

Ah, the possibilities.

9. Generosity

He doesn't need to be rich. He doesn't even need to be flush (although remembering to is always a plus). But the willingness to share, whether it's a meal or his ice cream or his chocolate -- especially his chocolate -- is always a good sign that a man is open to generosity in other areas. Maybe a good listener. Maybe a good conversationalist. Maybe a good...

oh, wait. That's a whole 'nuther subject.

Plus, if he buys dinner, he might actually have a -- dare I whisper it? -- j. o. b.

Which brings us to....

8. Motivation

Motivation to move -- no slugs, thankyouverymuch. And there's a difference between a man who knows how to relax (ideally while he's rubbing your feet or your shoulders) and a slug. A slug is one of those guys whose idea of a relaxing afternoon is sprawling on the couch with one leg down the length of the sofa and the other propped on the coffee table, wearing holey sweats and armed with the remote.


Motivated is a man who sits with you on the couch and perhaps invites you to snuggle. Motivated is a man who knows how to put down the remote and wait out the commercial. Motivated is a man who will sit through 'Dancing With the Stars' and then patiently and attentively listen to your commentary, all the while nodding and murmuring things like, "Y'know, I never thought of it like that. You might be right."

How is that motivated?

That's a man who knows what he wants and, what's more, what it takes to get it.

And if you've gotta ask, well then...I'm sorry.

7. Tact

Whether it's meeting your mother or meeting your girlfriends or even just hanging out, a man with some tact is a plus. One who knows, on at least a basic level -- even if he's not able to resist the temptation all the time -- that it's not sexy to 'grab and grin'. One who realizes that the third course is NOT necessarily you. One who understands there's a time and place for everything.

Plus, if he can answer the question, 'Do I look fat in these?' without making you want to strangle him, he might be worth keeping.

6. Patience

Any man can fake patience. It's no harder than faking an orgasm for a woman. Some are better at it than others though and some have to fake more than others -- what you want is to ferret out the worst.

Watch for things like impulsively checking the time. Tapping his fingers while he's waiting for you to finish trying on those incredible shoes you found at the mall. Watch for twitches and tics. Look for the little signs: "Aren't you ready yet?" "How much longer is this going to take?" and "Hurry the **** up, already!"

5. Willingness to take direction

And not just driving directions (although that counts). A man who can listen and give your suggestions a try. At least seriously consider them.

Okay...how about pretend to seriously consider them?

4. Literacy

I'm not talking about the complete works of the Bard of Avon or "Moby Dick." Just a man who knows that a newspaper is for something other than putting under the car when you change the oil. A man who realizes that there's more to television programming than Spike.

Look at it this way, a man who can string together two coherent sentences is more likely to be able to converse intelligently. To be able to converse at all. To be able to hold a job. To make a good impression on your parents and your friends. Not that we care what our parents think...no, not us. Still....

3. The ability to carry his end of the conversation

...or not. Sometimes a nice, comfortable, companionable silence truly is golden. But, at the end of the day (or night) you've got to be able to talk. There are only so many other things you can do to occupy yourself and each other. Eventually you'll get tired.

2. Common experiences

You don't have to be joined at the hip (well, every once in a while might be nice) but it's nice to share interests and experiences. Opposites may attract but they don't always stick. A man who enjoys some of the same movies, music, books and television might cut down on some of the potential friction. Differences are fine -- they encourage us to grow and to learn and to accept -- but polar opposites? Possible disaster.

Look for common ground.

And finally....Number One with a bullet is.....

A nice ass.

Yes, I'm kidding. And that brings us to the real number one. A sense of humor. The ability to laugh at himself and with you. A man who doesn't take himself too seriously. A man who can look at the world with humor -- and show you his view.

If you can find a man with all these things (and that nice ass wouldn't hurt), think about keeping him. And, if not, let someone know when you're through. I've found mine -- they are out there and there's a waiting list a mile long for the one you don't want.

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Comments 40 comments

funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

Well I supose 7 out of 10 ain´t bad! lolol

I´ll be waiting to read all of your next hubs ;-)

elisabeth reid profile image

elisabeth reid 8 years ago from Colorado Author

Which seven? And seven's good. Some think seven's a lucky number, actually.



funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

10, 9, 8, 7, 5, 4 and 3.

Well. I don´t know, maybe I also have a nice 1! LOL

PeteMaravichFan profile image

PeteMaravichFan 8 years ago

I don't even have to be "hot"....sweet

elisabeth reid profile image

elisabeth reid 8 years ago from Colorado Author

Sweet's a bonus.



Scraps 8 years ago

10. Mobility, yes honey, I'll get the D*&^ newspaper out of the driveway.

9. Generosity- I already give you my paycheck, what more do you want? I have to buy you dinner? What about me?

8. Motivation- hey I worked 75 hours this week, today is my day off...I ain't movin! Now get me a beer and shut up.

7. Tact- yeah I got tact for you, if you don't wanna hear it, don't ask the question or open yourself up

6. Patience- I don't shop, I don't need patience, however, if you don't hurry up, I'm leaving your fat a%$

5. Directions- If I listened to you, we wouldn't be lost. If I do something you are more knowledgeable at, I'll ask for directions, otherwise, sit there and be quiet! If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask you

4. Literacy- Playboy and Hustler are a whole lot better than the newspaper. Plus they have good articles.

3. Conversation- if you cannot keep the conversation limited to commercials and three words per sentence, then shut up.

2. Common experiences- We both met at the same bar, and shagged that same night...what else do you want?

1. Sense of humor/nice ass- Hey honey, do these jeans make my ass look fat? I don't want the guys at work making fun of me. Also, if I want something to laugh about, I'll just look at you!

Yes I'm a man...been married 24 years...to the same woman. God I wonder how she puts up with me. I guess its the nice ass and the sense of humor...oh, you want me to jump? How high? I'll do anything for my wife...so long as I do not have to have a conversation about it first.

elisabeth reid profile image

elisabeth reid 8 years ago from Colorado Author

Heh...must be a helluva nice ass.


Tirisacha 8 years ago

Yes! Finally! Someone who shares my top ten list!

About-The-Home profile image

About-The-Home 8 years ago

Yes! Finally! Someone who could appreciate me!

adrainsean profile image

adrainsean 7 years ago

well the list is not very demanding but my query is that how can one show all these qualities to his girl or to the person of interest in limited time without sounding and acting desperate and weird..

you got any ideas for that...

AshleyVictoria profile image

AshleyVictoria 7 years ago from Los Angeles

How he treats his Mother. That is one of the first things I look for.

Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

Mine came with #s 10, 9, 8, 4, 3, 2 and both #1s. Even if he was just faking them. I had some training to do on 7 and 5. "If you don't want me to give you directions, then turn on the GPS or LET ME DRIVE!!!!. "

So overall, I'm feeling very blessed having read your hub. But can you PLEASE tell me where to get him some professional lessons in #6????????

Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

I do not have a single one of these trait.... I must be a woman.

Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

No, Pest. You are indeed a very endearing male. :-))

spotychick785 profile image

spotychick785 7 years ago

I just love it, finally someone made a hub about ten good things about a man:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)::):):):):):):):):):):):)

dcrisan profile image

dcrisan 7 years ago from Maryland

Loved it, very good. Thanks

HalogenBurn 7 years ago

I mean, could you enforce gender stereotypes any more? There are no standards, there are no rules. Except one: Compassion.

Amanda L 7 years ago

Sounds Like my father in law

CoffeyTalk profile image

CoffeyTalk 7 years ago

I loved this article! Especially #1. My boyfriend passed the test, yay!!!

Jessica 7 years ago

Now that we have narrowed down what we want in a man....How on earth do we find some one like this?

Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago

Great Hub! And the last one made me laugh...Keep 'em coming. Happy New Year!!!

2kissme 6 years ago

my man is all of these things. just not with me

cbris52 profile image

cbris52 6 years ago

Nice hub!

RecoverToday profile image

RecoverToday 6 years ago from United States

I had to laugh at the last and number one trait. Clever.

ch 6 years ago

My man treats his mother very well. and has a great ass.

Scraps- that was funnny

awesome 6 years ago

nice ass? lol I would say: car, phone, job, lives on their own, has friends, is in shape. These however are results. Your list is a list of qualities that can lead to these results.

JackT 6 years ago

Hmmm. I'm pretty sure I possess 8 if not 9 of those 10 traits. Common experiences is impossible to gauge, of course, since it will be different for each person. Either way, regardless of how well I might measure up to this list, somehow I'm still single! There must be something else I'm missing then.

FOREX NINJA profile image

FOREX NINJA 5 years ago

Yeah,you are on the right track.I love this piece of work.

fLoRANce  5 years ago

My fella has all 10 traits and more ;). To think i nearly threw him away. Love you baby x x x

MoreMe 5 years ago

Ugh. My man has all 10 and I love him disgusting amounts. And wait, there's more -- he also does not believe in living together, marriage, children but he spends every night in my bed. It's hell. Just sayin' this quantitative list does not always add up to being with someone who makes you happy.

Angie 5 years ago

We need to get rid of losers now. I am tired of users and abusers. Liars piss me off. Let's get real men now.

Hello dear 5 years ago

Hello dear

My name is queen(single). I was impressed when i saw your profile today at and i will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me through this my private e-mail box(queensamale@yahoo.com)


waiting to hear from you soon.


I will send to you my pictures in my next mail through this my mail box


Angel 4 years ago

Mines Needs To Try A Little Harder But I Love Him .

karthikkash profile image

karthikkash 4 years ago from India

Is 7.5/10 allowed?? :D Any girls out there? ;) Well, I am a bit low on patience.. A patience for BS and certain other stuff. I can carry out my end of conversation. But I am notorious of being the silent guy at times and very talkative at times. Humorous?? Well, I don't believe in goofy and slapstick humour.. A nice ass?? Hmm.. I prefer to say that I am handsome.. LOL!!

crystal 4 years ago

Wow so helpfull ......................................NOT seriously

Mar 4 years ago

I found someone with allthese qualities, or should I say he found me. I'm so happy.

Uh 4 years ago

Yeah totally

Where is my lover

I have all ten

Uh 4 years ago

I think that he should care about others too

Just not as much as me

He should want me as a friend too

man 4 years ago


Me 4 years ago

I've been going through a bad break up, and ma and this guy found eachother not even 3 days after we broke up. We are both going through the same heartbreak and he has ALL of these qualitys. accept for the nice ass part sad to say. LOL Thank you, you've really helped me out. Now i know what i want. :)

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