Right Girl, Wrong Time

Have you ever met the right girl at the wrong time? You might just be coming out of your first long term relationship and need time, or even worse you just got into a relationship after looking tirelessly for years for that perfect one. For me it always seems to be the case.

Take me for example – I have been on and off with my current girlfriend for 4 and a half years. I love her but when I’m asked if she’s the one it sends a sharp shiver down my spine. Just recently we got back together and decided to give it a go one last time because we missed each other so much (the sex is amazing). Not long after this, I quit my job and travelled as a single (but connected) guy. Needless to say I met many beautiful and amazing girls overseas that I wouldn’t (if not for my girl) have thought twice about drilling into the mattress / making them my “one”. To make matters worse, now that I am back and in a new job I have been seated next to the most amazing girl I think I have ever come across in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard it all before in the seduction community – don’t put them up on a pedestal, treat em’ mean keep em’ keen type of stuff. But honestly, none of that stuff could ever prepare you for a situation like this.

So I am now in the situation, as I am sure many of you guys have been in at least once before, where my current girlfriend is simply getting in the way of my desired girlfriend. As bad as this sounds (and I know it sounds shocking) I have phrased a new terms “transitional girlfriend” or TG and “desired girlfriend” or DG for the situation that currently confronts me.

My problem though here is that while I am in the pursuit of DG, all my time and effort is going to into TG (literally). You don’t need to be an economist (or even a pickup artist) to realise that this is clearly inefficient use of time.

So here is where the question lies. Do I break ties with TG and pursue DG with all my might? Or do I string TG along long enough to know whether DG takes the bait? My moral recommendation (to myself) would be to give TG the boot before you hurt her any further and give the girl of your dreams the best shot possible. You know that you’ll regret it otherwise.

The other thing that people consider (and most people decide) is that well you’ve been with your current partner for this long and they seem good enough. My brother is a perfect example of this (an amazing 27 year old guy who has only ever been with one girl). Now that he has matured into a successful young man he has a multitude of women scratching at his feet (one in particular that he has told me he connects with like no other). But still, he will stay with his TG because it’s the safer option. Good on him I say, I just hope that in 20 years time and we are sitting having dinner with our families he is happy and has no regrets.

I on the other hand know that I will be happy and have no regrets. Because I know that the right girl always comes along at the wrong time. The difference between me and my brother is that the wrong time will stop him from being with the woman he has always and will always want, but it won’t stop me!

Comments 5 comments

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

This is going to sound like an agony aunt in a newspaper! but I actually think that your 'next' girlfriend isn't anything to do with it yet. You obviously don't want your 'old' girlfriend, she isn't the one for you, if she was then you wouldn't be after the next one. Break with your girlfriend, if you don't get with the other one, then so be it, you will find someone soon, and when you do, you will know whether she is the 'right' one. it is only fair on your girlfriend, she may just meet the man for her if you give her up. you have to think of her too, good luck!

themaleman profile image

themaleman 5 years ago from Australia Author

Funnily enough I have ended up with the DG. I've been with her almost 6 months now. She's the most amazing girl in the world and I've never been so happy in my life. Best decision I've ever made and will continue to be the best decision I've ever made, that's until I ask DG to marry me :) I am so happy!

Unimpressed 4 years ago

What an egotist!!!!

asdf 2 years ago

what's wrong with just being single?

JD 2 years ago

Hey maleman I think I am in the same boat, but I am dg in your story. How long did it take you to make the shift?? For me the guy is amazing, but it's frustrating that he's holding back on moving forward faster.

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