What is Christian Courtship?

What is Christian Courtship?



“Two people will not walk together unless they agree.”   

Amos 3:3 (Easy to road)

“Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”

                                         Amos 3:3 (NLT)

What is Christian Courtship?

Christian Courtship is a period before wedding/marriage where a Christian brother and sister agree about so many issues and see if they both share the same vision, hope and aspiration about marriage. “Courtship is an adopted word to describe the Biblical model for the relationship between a man and a woman that leads to marriage.”

From the Word of God that is quoted above, we can reliably gather that Christian courtship involves two people that have agreed to walk together, in the direction of marriage (not sleeping together before marriage).


Dearly beloved brother or sister marriage is spiritual and orderly. It must be treated with utmost respect; hence the Christian Courtship is very important for intending brother and sister that have agreed to marry.

It is during the Courtship that proper biblical foundation must be laid down in order to have a happy married life.


Despite the enormous responsibilities and challenges that come with marriage, yours can bear that totem “happy married life” that is the plan of God for you as His child. The Bible says, he has made us both Priest and kings (Rev.1:6) and if you permit queens. So for a Christian brother he is a king while the sister is a queen (please smile to that).

A king must have a queen to establish a royal family which God also intended for His children as established in 1Pet. 2:9.

God wants your marriage future to be a kind of “Heaven on Earth.”


Hence, before you venture into wedding plans both of you must agree on a lot of things like what you both want for your marriage. Both of you must realize that marriage means TILL DEATH DO US PART!

That word “agree” from Amos 3:3 is very deep. You need to ask yourself “Do we agree”.

“Are we walking towards a common goal?”

You don’t need to fast and pray before you answer those questions.

If your choice of marriage partner is worried about your involvement in church activities, then there is a problem. If he or she is not comfortable with your reading the Bible or speaking in tongue, then I don’t think you are headed in the same direction. If he or she is someone that find it difficult to give and pay tithe regularly, then you shouldn’t bother about him/her.

Agreement on what direction you want your marriage to go can only be attained on the platform of courtship.

The following are excerpts (as regard courtship) from the book written by one of my spiritual fathers; Bishop David Oyedepo titled “Bible sense for getting into marriage”.


1)                After proposing to a lady and she has agreed to marry you, the next thing to do is to obey the Biblical injunction to prove all things (1Thes 5:21)

2)                The courtship period is the time to prove your relationship. Yes your spirit agrees that you have made the right choice, but you still need to prove all things.

3)                Courtship is a fact-finding period. Marriage without courtship naturally ends in crisis because there was no opportunity to get to know each other and prove whether the choice made was wise or not.

4)                Impatience is responsible for many marriage failures in the western world today.

5)                Courtship can be broken. This should not be mistaken for divorce. If your ideas and ideals are not similar, common-sense demands that you call it quit.

(Author’s note; don’t make it a habit of breaking your courtship at the slightest excuse…).

6)                Courtship is a covenant culture for a successful marriage. One month is not sufficient. Two months is risky. Man is a complex being.

7)                The proving process is the personal responsibility of the individuals involved because they are the ones to live together. Do not allow your parents or family to prove your spouse for you.

My final note on courtship is that secretly indulging in bodily, emotional and sexual pleasure at this stage with your marriage partner is a sin. It is a potential sign of marital failure.





Comments 40 comments

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no body 7 years ago from Rochester, New York

This is right on aboveonly. I myself courted one lovely woman before I courted and married Mrs. No body. This first woman definitely was not on the same page as I when it came to dedication to God. She tended to think of me as a fanatic because I wanted to go to church every time it was open. I tended to put everything through the grid of Scripture. I still think that she and I are friends though I have not seen her in a long time. She had married since we called off the courtship. My current bride of 10+ years and I courted knowing that we were going to marry we aligned our lives. We were still in for 3 years of adjustment but now it is so blessed.

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DeBorrah K. Ogans 7 years ago

Aboveonly, You have given some great advice. A proper courtship is a good way to find a compatible committed marriage partner. Marriage can really be a marvelous growing satisfying lasting relationship! Thank you for sharing, Blessings!

Isaac k lagat 6 years ago

This is a very good advice and information. I am in courtship and we have purposed to be faithful to one another and to God. Such materials are good for christians in courtship like us. Shalom

mwangi kiguru 6 years ago

am trusting i will make coz in christ there is hope & groly

baby 6 years ago

I hv not seen any, but still believing God for one, because only Him can make a way for me and ONLY HIM KNOWS MY HEART DESIRE. GOD DON,T ABANDON MEOOOO. I luv your advice for Christians thank you.

oluchi lilian  6 years ago

this is good for everybody on dis earth that is aspiring 2 get married.But it takes only the grace of God and carefulness on our side.Am not yet in one,but am believing God 2 have a Good and Wonderful courtship.I luv your advice.God Bless you.

Maisy 6 years ago

Please could a christian man(virgin) still marries a christian lady(not virgin)?

Thank you

liz felix 6 years ago

Am in courtship with a wonderful fiancé and all is bcoz of the LORD glory to Him!

Madison 6 years ago

Thanks so much! I really like this guy who goes to church with me and is the preachers son.I wanted to know the benefits of courtship and you have helped me understand it a lot more!

~Thanks again

 6 years ago

Thank you very much for your guidance. Three months have passed in courtship and I really thank God for giving me a partner who is an intercessor.I will make sure through I obey the biblical injunction thro' God's mercies.Thanks very much for your teachings.God bless.

Emily Bakari 6 years ago

Sorry, for I've posted my commend without a name. It is as above.

kayc 6 years ago

this is gud n i luv it. so practical

David 6 years ago

Keep it burning the fire ur advice are great kuddos ur mentor he is indeed mentor of mentors

sally 6 years ago

your advice is good may GOD bless you so much for the good work

cristina garcia 5 years ago

thanks for the christian views for courtship...it helps me prepare my sermon to the group of young people this coming february...Godbless u

james audivic- Kenya 5 years ago

Iam optimistic of a blessed success in my coutship. Amen

Adaku 5 years ago

Your views on courtship are great and quite helpful. Amos 3 vs 3 is a good anchor Scripture. I teach youths and singles, your mentor happens to be my Bishop in our church and spiritual father. Keep up the good work and be blessed.

Daniel sunday 5 years ago

Tanx 4 ur advise, it makes me 2 know d procedure n d steps 2 takes b/4 marriage

anonymous 5 years ago

king 5 years ago

Thanks for the message and advise. Am in a fresh courtship with a christian lady, but her past was so bad in my view. A rape victim and also mistakenly had sex with her ex-boyfriend. I was shocked when she revealed it to me. I still love her so much despite her past. But, I found it difficult to get that painful and harrowing past of her out of my mind. Please, what can I do? I love so much. thanks.

Jane 5 years ago

To king,as long as she has given her lyf 2 christ,a new page as bin open 4her.help her 2 liv a lyf free of guilt,dis could only b done by relying&trustingGod.dis may b difficult bt remember He has ur best interest @heart

Dare Apata 5 years ago

Tnks for this great advice. Courtship similar to the deep sleep experience by Adam...

Nikky 5 years ago

To King,

If any man be in Christ he is a new creature. Be thankful that the sister is truthful enough to tell you the truth and if she has given her life to Christ, then she is forgiven, you have to prove your love by accepting her the way she is just as Christ accept us. Remember that all thing works together for good for those that love God, all is well

sandra 4 years ago

My fiancé is always jealous anytime he sees me with a man,what do i do.

folasayo 4 years ago

To Maisy, the answer is simply yes. A virgin christian brother can marry a non-virgin christian sister.

aboveonly 4 years ago

thanks folasayo for sharing thoughts.u answer to Maisy's question is sufficient.God bless u.

Moh 4 years ago

Very good points. However, I disagree with point No.6. Courtship can take any duration. What matters is following the guidance of the Holy Spirit and submitting to God. Another good reading I've come across is Are You Wife Material? http://www.areyouwifematerial.com/

Karisa 4 years ago

To King, there are few men like you and she is a blessed woman to have you in her life. Walk with her and extend toher the grace you wish someone else could extend to you if you were in her shoes...if you battle to look beyong her past fora long time...do her a favour and let her go before she gets too attached and deeply hurt. I think you are a great guy and we need more men like you:) Every blessing

Godson Emmanuel 4 years ago

Dear king,count it a great privilege.The essence of God allowing her to become ur lifepartner is just to give hope,sense of direction and transforming her from what she use to be into d ideal woman she can become.Don't see her past personality but see byond dat.Luv her unconditionally so dat she can see d difference between u and any other guy that has come her way.COMPLEMENT her WEAKNESS wit ur STRENTH.Blex u.

Asy 4 years ago

Cool,your advices bring light to me.Thanx

Kaycee ugwu 4 years ago

Tnx ur advice has opened my eyes vry well am grateful am already into it believing dt God wil help us nt 2 make mistakes. Tnk God i opend dis page God bls u

nandawulaliz 4 years ago

Thanks so much, Am so blessed by this message, i now know what to do because u have opened my eyes, Blessings to u, in the name of Jesus Christ.Amen

Josephine onche 4 years ago

To king .if any man be in christ behold old things are passed away allthing are no new lov her and frustrate the devil.shalom

kenechukwu 4 years ago

I feel good with all the points made. The issue of sex before marriage is where most of us fail. I was a victim of it but as of now, I am changed due to materials I have read recently including yours. I lived with the belief that any woman am to court must be tasted only for me to realise its the worlds way of doing things which eventually leads to failure of the relationship.

Thomas 4 years ago

Bless u 4 ur advice,dis has open my eyes and my heart 2 the real understanding of christian courtship.SHALLOM

ogheneblessing 3 years ago

thank you for your message sir, though l am still praying to God for my bone but through this message l know that l will be able to handle my courtship and my marriage by the grace of God

Kehinde 3 years ago

To King, I believe the lady went through the rape for a reason. I was also a victim. I planned to be a virgin till my wedding night but the dream was truncated when my exboyfriend raped me 5 years ago. Though I never dated any guy after him nor had sex after him, I am happy that my relationship with God is still solid and this does not stop God for giving me a godly husband, who I am cuurrently in courtship with.

Some people's ministry are borne out of their experiences, such as Joyce Meyer. tnx

Gbemisola 3 years ago

God really want the best for His children in marriage but we must be ready to follow in the way He leads. Thanks

fejchriz 2 years ago

Thank u so much for this page. .

It makes me cry reading your comments.

Can anyone help me.

Its my first time to be in courtship with a Christian sister my partner in ministry ,my companion and closest friend. I even treat her as my own sister. Now with lack of guidance we fall in to sin , -having physical attachment. That brought us to feel guilt. We repented to God. But we are separated by distance.My brother don't allow her and me to communicate with each other. And many of my christian friends keep mocking me and stop communicating with me and don't even want to hear any words from me. Due to my work i'm too far from my church now. And find another church to continue to be used by God.I'm still waiting patiently for 2 yrs to come to court again for the girl ,applying the proper courtship. Cause I love the girl so much and she is my first and don't dare to look for another. I was restored but the people who are keep pointing their fingers on me is quietly pulling me down. My questions are:

1. How can I overcome this burden towards this people?

2. Is it okay that i will commit myself unto the Lord that she is the only girl i would love. Even if I'm not sure if she is still waiting for me..

JohnTheBeloved 2 years ago

Remember Peter's Story when tempted,also the Prostitute the Pharisees brought to Christ, Bro......................You have been forgiven...............Go and sin no more.......

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    Emily Bakari 6 years ago

    This Christian courtship guidance has been useful to me I will make share that I share it with my partner.Be blessed abundantly.

    Kenny 5 years ago

    Its gud&ask 4d grace 2go by wot is written in book 4christian courtship.may God bless u.

    Kelechi sylva 4 years ago

    Am into courtship,i told my fiancée dt i want 2b pastor bt d girl disagree wit me dt she wn't marry me if i becom a pastor dt we wil do wedding b4 becomin a pastor,wat wil i do?

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