10 Things Women Wish Men Knew
Men, this guide is for you
Guys, is your girl pissed at you and you haven’t the slightest clue why? Do you find you and your partner often involved in constant arguments or frosty silences? Are you a single man who cannot comprehend why you’re unsuccessful with the ladies? Does your average woman seem like an extremely complex and frustrating being? Well have no fear. I have bravely decided to speak up on behalf of (most) of woman kind and give you fellows some pointers here. Hopefully you’ll walk away with at least a basic understanding of how the female psyche works. But remember, male or female, we’re still people, and us girls don’t bite… much.
A highly skilled man - flowers are always good!
1) Listen up! I can’t stress enough how important this is. Women often talk about, yes, our “feelings.” This doesn’t mean we’ll break down in hysterics all the time (in fact probably never). It simply means that we like to vent and rant about problems we have and people we hate, etc. Just listen carefully, agree and sympathize with us in the right places, and it least TRY to look like you care. We don’t expect you to solve our problems, which is a typically male-oriented way of thinking. Just talking about our problems us makes us feel better, even if we’re not about to solve them anytime soon. Listen and be supportive, that’s all we ask.
2) Listen harder! Try to pick up on what we’re not saying. For example, if we look sad and you ask “What’s the matter?” we may say “I’m fine” when we’re anything but. No, this isn’t some evil jedi mind trick to toy with you, it’s a defence mechanism. There are many reasons for the “I’m fine” response. We may think our problem is stupid and you’ll laugh at us if we tell you, or maybe we’re trying to be strong and not look like a total mushball in front of you. People always think it’s guys who try not to cry, but girls do the same thing. It’s considered a sign of weakness, and we may feel insecure about it. That’s why you need to persist and reassure us we can tell you anything, then ask again. If you promise to support her she’ll tell you what’s wrong.
3) Don’t try to be a “playa”: Most women hate men who try far too hard to look “cool” or try to pick up as many women as they possibly can. To you it may be a fun ego boost, but to us it’s annoying and disappointing. We don’t want a “playa,” we want a solid and dependable man (with just a hint of mystery) who is faithful and will stick with us no matter what, not hit on anything in a skirt. We prefer to be respected rather than be hit on relentlessly, but of course, don’t treat us like your mother!
4) Nice guys don’t finish last: Sure, every woman likes a smoking hot “bad-boy,” but we secretly hope that underneath that is a safe and dependable guy we can “fix” to be the perfect lover. This means that although we may be immediately attracted by a dangerous or mysterious vibe, we only tend to stick around if we feel there’s potential for an actual commitment there. Every girl likes a nice, respectful guy who’s sweet and will pay for her dinner, pull out her chair or open doors for her. Just don’t lay on the sweetness to much or too soon, or you’ll look like a love-sick puppy, which is never attractive.
5) Money (hardly ever) changes everything: We may expect for you to pay for our dinner or movie ticket on the first date and perhaps after that, but we don’t expect you to fork over loads of cash and face bankruptcy just to take us out on a date. We don’t expect luxury sports cars, diamond rings or gourmet dinners. We are people too who have to work for our money, and we know you’re not made of cash. So don’t feel pressured to spend loads of cash on us. Most women are modern thinkers who don’t mind splitting the cheque or paying for their own dinner if you’re strapped for cash. The point? You don’t have to be loaded to impress us.
6) You don’t have to have buns of steel: Guys always think they need to be ripped to the max with biceps as large as their head to get the girl, when that just isn’t true. Sure, we like some muscle and definition, but you don’t have to live in the gym. We don’t expect you to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, just be healthy. You know, we’re talking about the basics here: eat right, exercise regularly, get enough sleep. Be healthy and active, but don’t aim to look like a body builder. It’s not realistic and we don’t expect it anyway.
7) You don’t have to be a giant: Sure, most girls like it when a guy is as tall as they are, perhaps taller. But that doesn’t mean you have to be six feet tall! Most girls are perfectly fine and plenty attracted to guys of average height. And don’t worry if you’re short; to shorter girls you’ll seem tall! And if a guy is genuinely nice, cute, and sweet, we’ll overlook the height difference 99% of the time. The bottom line is your personality is way more important than your height!
8) Screw the 3-day rule: The consensus generally is you must wait three days after the first date to call so as not to appear desperate. This is a stupid, petty rule that has no foundation to support itself. Granted, you probably shouldn’t call an hour after the date after the person just gotten home, but you certainly don’t have to wait three days! Calling the next day is perfectly fine, if you got the impression during the date that she was into you and there was some real chemistry there. Chances are, if she agreed to go on a date with you she’ll want to kiss you, hug you, hold hands, and generally hear from you again. There’s nothing desperate about calling the next day. If you wait 3 days you end up wrestling with yourself over whether or not you should call, and we doubt if you were genuinely interested. If you want to call someone, just do it!
9) As much as we may deny it, we like: Chocolate, flowers, cards, gifts, sappy poetry, sappy romance movies, cuddling and stuffed animals. In every girl, no matter how tough, lies a soft spot for these hopelessly romantic things. Pull one out every now and then, but only on special occasions. READ: after a big fight.
10) Don’t lie. EVER. Nothing is more unappealing or hurtful than a guy who lies. It makes us feel like you don’t respect or care for us enough to tell us the truth. No matter how bad the truth might hurt us, we still want to hear it. We don’t want to be ignorant and live in bliss, we want to know that you can come to us and be honest when things turn sour. Trust, honesty, and respect are key in any successful relationship, and without those elements, it doesn’t matter how hot you are, we WILL leave.
From clueless to Cassanova!
I hope this has helped you guys get into our brains a little bit, and understand where we're coming from. Just remember, we ARE people too, no matter how scary or hot we appear. Everyone puts on their pants one leg at a time (unless you're wearing skirt!). But seriously, just calm down and treat your partner with love, respect, and a little bit of unadultered sweetness. The key to success lies in your hands, fellas. Best of luck!
More by this Author
The world of online dating can be daunting, especially for those of us who like men. But fear not! There ARE red flags you can identify to avoid meeting a serial killer, or worse, a dudebro.
It's hard for a queer girl out there these days! Mostly the big question is, "Is she gay, or just a hipster?!" The struggle is real, so here are 10 signs that a girl of interest might be gay.
We white people feel entitled to don the garb of any and all cultures, but it's often inappropriate. Here's a list of racist Halloween costumes that we absolutely should not wear.