A Life Not Yet Lived....One Year Later...

In the weakness I find my strength, in the sorrow I find my joy, and when it all seems wrong, all I have to do is stay strong.

— Blaze Olamiday

Mother and Son one year ago

Source


Staying strong in the face of that which would suck the life right out of us is one of life's greatest challenges. But staying strong is how we recover and survive in spite of all odds. We just do.

Death Came to Our Door


In May of 2013, our family suffered a devastating loss when my sister’s only son died suddenly.

It was an experience that none of us would have ever imagined. It was one we would never wish on even our greatest enemy.

It took our breath away. It just did.

He was someone whose life had touched so many of us in such great depth that it is difficult to even explain.

His life had made a difference and continues to do so even since his death

A first hub about his death is entitled "A Life Not Yet Lived" and is here on HubPages too.

Writing and sharing about this most precious loving family member has helped me to heal.

...his Love Remains

Love HIm Still


He was gentle and kind.

He always had time for us--no matter what we needed even if it was just a listening ear. He would stop what he was doing and be there for us.

His intellect surpassed that of most yet he never made anyone feel ill at ease. He could relate to and would relate to you even though his mind was so full of complex thoughts and ideas.

That was part of his beauty. He was exceptionally sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. And in all of the years I was blessed to know him, his goal seemed to be to make each one of us whose life was touched by him to feel better just because we were in his presence.


All about us


And actually I do not think it was deliberate…I believe it was just a part of who he was…he unconsciously was wired to make us feel better about ourselves after having spent time with him.


He was outer directed...concerning himself with the needs of others and trying to figure out a way he could help us come up with a solution to some issue we had.


The fear of death follows from fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

— Mark Twain

One Day.....

Sometimes it’s not the person you miss…it’s the feeling you had when you were with them.

— unknown author

A Strong but Fragile Soul was He...

Source

One more time...


This quote is true in part. I do, we do, miss the person---wishing to hear his voice one more time. To have the chance to be with him one more time would be a grand experience. It is difficult to separate the person from that feeling he evoked within us.

But that is what we are left with now. We have that sense of assurance that comforted us when he walked the planet.

Making Sense of It...


The first year since his death was a journey filled with ups and downs and highs and lows. for each of us. And even now, our journey continues with many more moments of finding peace losing that gripping sadness that we felt initially.

The almost unbearable pain of the loss as we left the town of Sarasota (Florida, USA) somewhat dazed that weekend after his memorial would be the a new beginning in so many ways.

We then traveled to our homes and tried to begin to live with the fact that he was no longer on the planet.

The ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and the answers to them would determine whether they could continue their journey to the afterlife.

The first question was: "Did you bring joy?"

The second question was: "Did you find joy?"

— Leo Buscaglia

...over the r a I n b o w

Truly these were his loyal and trusted companions.

The two precious pups in the photos were little shadows of my nephew. They adored them and the adoration was returned by them.

They loved to go for a ride in the car with him. The little black one, Ace, liked to ride up behind his neck.

Harley would lie with his head on his lap as he drove down the highway content to feel the warmth of his body.

On the rare occasions when he left them home, they curled up on a soft couch or a special table near the door awaiting anxiously his return.

Now those pups live with my sister and I do believe they are a huge reason she has recovered from this death so well. She still has two little pieces of him to care for and love.

Source
Source

We all have an inner voice, our personal whisper from the universe. All we have to do is listen -- feel and sense it with an open heart. Sometimes it whispers of intuition or precognition. Other times, it whispers an awareness, a remembrance from another plane. Dare to listen. Dare to hear with your heart.

— CJ Heck

A Visit a Few Months Back Reuniting a Great Niece with Our Family

My great niece second from the left came to visi a few months ago....She is just one of the family members with whom we have formed new connections since our loss.
My great niece second from the left came to visi a few months ago....She is just one of the family members with whom we have formed new connections since our loss. | Source

Connections are formed and strengthened

Many of us had not known each other very well prior to my nephew’s death. We heard a bit about this person or that person but could not feel a real sense of connection to those with whom we had no ‘history’, shall we say.

As the realization of the fragility of life settled over us once again, we found our way into each other’s lives. No longer do weeks go by without us having contact with each other. Just a note to say, I love you, I miss you, I am thinking of you is all that it takes.

On the surface that could seem such an inconsequential act, but it pulls family members together and lets them know how treasured they really are.

In and Among Nature, We Can Feel His Presence

Source

One life does matter

And, my sister’s son gave us that. He left that as his legacy to each of us.

His death gave us the impetus to reach across the miles to each other and renew or begin relationships that had not been there before that time.

This weekend we paused to remember the positive energy my nephew generated for our lives. We shared some special memory we had of him. Humorous moments that we shared with him were shared.

It was a time of healing.

Each of us misses him every day.

Each of us have had our lives enlarged because he walked the planet. It again reminds us that one life does make a difference...one life can change many lives.

He just made everyone feel comfortable.

He had a unique way of connecting with those with whom he came in contact.

When he was speaking with you, it was as if you and he were the only two people in the room.

He gave himself solely to you when engaging you in a conversation.

And, yet, he could sit and be quiet with you and it was a most comfortable kind of silence

His life meant something...

We have made peace with the void his absence has caused. And each new day brings less sadness and more reminders of the lovely gifts this young man brought to each of our lives.

We still long for just one more moment to hold his gentle face in our hands and in our hearts. And the good news is that our memories of this precious soul allows us to do just that.

Some say that in death we enlarge someone we knew far beyond what they were while they were on this earth. And in some cases that may be true. In this case, just the opposite is true.

His life meant something. It meant that others would become the best they could be because he set the standard so high albeit unintentionally. He taught us to love one another unconditionally without fault finding or judgment.

He taught us to believe that we could do whatever it was that we were so sure we could not.

What gifts these are---gifts that will remain with us and hopefully be passed on to those who come after us.

Thank you, dear nephew, for all that you still mean to our lives.

sources

Some of the photos and videos are are the same ones I used in the original hub.It just seemed the right thing to do.


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Comments 27 comments

pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 21 months ago from sunny Florida Author

It was sad Peachpurple but we have found a way to make peace with his death. We miss him every single day but we find joy in remembering his life.

Angels are on the way to you this morning. ps


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 21 months ago from Home Sweet Home

Sorry to hear that, may angel protect his soul


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Thank you Genna

I deal with that which pains me through writing about such things. Sharing this amazing loved one with the world helps to ease the pain.

Angels are on the way to you ps


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

This is a poignant reflection and tribute to your beloved nephew. How we deal with such tragedies varies from individual to individual. Your sensitive and thoughtful comments brought tears to my eyes, and prayers from the heart for you and your family. Bless you.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Thank you Nadine...As I mentioned above in a comment, sharing this story helps me and hopefully others to move past the pain into the joy of what he meant to our lives.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

Angels are on the way to you ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Just wanted to share these CyberShelley...so that others may know this lovely person who walked the planet .

Angels are on the way to you ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Thanks for stopping by WriterJanis... writing about this has helped to distance myself and hopefully some others n my family from the pain even more...

Angels are on the way to you ps


WriterJanis profile image

WriterJanis 2 years ago from California

You have me teary eyed with this. Somewhere Over the Rainbow reminds me of my Mother's passing. You've done such an awesome job on this post.


Nadine May profile image

Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

Thank you for sharing this incredible loss of your sister’s only son. The way you wrote the tribute to your nephew gave me a real feeling of what you must have gone through a year ago. Reading your story gives others like me a united feeling about grief and how each individual deals with it. Thank you. Nadine


CyberShelley profile image

CyberShelley 2 years ago

A wonderful tribute to your nephew and the spirit he left behind. I am sorry for your family's loss, and trust that in time, time will become your healer. Blessings and strength to you and your family.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Hi Faith So nice to see you. Your words always offer comfort. I hope all is well with you and yours, my sweet friend.

Angels are on the way ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Thank you , Janshares, for your sweet words. Our lives were forever changed and while we do miss him each day we have the gift of reconnecting with our family and that surely must make him happy.

Many Angels are winging their way to you this morning ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Manatita44 Thank you for your heartfelt words. Our precious young man is now free from his pain and for that we are thankful. He left us with the gift of finding one another once again. And he reminded us to not take one minute of any day for granted.

Angels are on the way to you this morning ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

And thank you for stopping to read and comment. It is a story of hope...that the pain will diminish and the goodness of our loved one will remain.

Angels are on the way this morning. ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Yes, Cygnebrown It can certainly do that. It makes us reassess and evaluate what is important and how we can live our lives the best way possible.

Angels are on the way to you this morning ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Thank you Breakfastpop....I still call to him sometimes when I am frustrated with my laptop. He was a computer whiz...and he would often use logmein to help me resolve issues. We often spoke on skype too ...

He was a doll and remains so in my heart.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

Hi Shyron Thank you for your kindness in stopping by. We are all actually much better and have grown together so much closer this year as a family.

Angels are on the way to you this morning ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida Author

H Billy

He taught us so many important life lessons and we are all so thankful. He was a gentle and loving soul.

Thank you for taking time to stop by ...

Angels are on the way to you and your family ps


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Heart-rending reflections on a beautiful life, sweet friend. It certainly has been a hard year for you and your family. I am glad that healing is taking place after such a great loss. Thank you for sharing here.

(((Hugs))) and Angels coming your way


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 2 years ago from london

PS Traubie ~ Your message and your sister's son's message is extremely beautiful, and reminds me of what I try to do at all times~ the elevation of consciousness, the only way to heal the form.

I am touched by your nephew's beautiful spirit; the power and love in your glowing tribute; your videos ... all seem so special!

You speak of healing; of the realisation of the fragility of life. Too true. The Hubber Bill touches on this. All we ever have is the Sacrament of the Present Moment; The Eternal Now. Still, I send you my heart's sincerity; my deepest love and prayers at this special time. May you be blessed with inner fortitude.

May the Light of your sister's son glow in Heaven, and may he rest in the celestial lap of the infinite Supreme. Peace.


manatita44 2 years ago

PS Traubie ~You say so many of the things I try to say every day! This is reflected in the message, soulful giving and spirit of your sister's son. May he rest in the celestial lap of Paradise.

You speak of healing, and again of 'realization of the fragility of life.' Too true. The Hubber Bill has touched on this also. All we ever have is the Sacrament of the Present Moment; the Eternal Now. Still, you've done a wonderful job! Be blessed. I wish to extend my heart in empathy and to offer my deepest condolences to the entire family and friends.

I feel your spirit in the glowing tribute to your nephew: The writing, the video ...

Still, all will be well in the end, and there is an eternal rainbow where we are all going ... have no fear. My deepest love and God's blessings to you for greater fortitude in your time of need. Salaam!


janshares profile image

janshares 2 years ago from Washington, DC

My heart goes out to you and your family, pstraubie48, in remembrance of your dear nephew. May God bless you as you continue to mourn and live with your loss. Very moving and well-done tribute. The first year is the hardest as it does take that much time for it to set in as a new reality. May his spirit be with you always. Voted up.


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Thank you for sharing this story of hope.


cygnetbrown profile image

cygnetbrown 2 years ago from Alton, Missouri

My heart aches as I read this post. I personally have lost three close family members during the past year. My father's death was expected. He was old. He had a long life. My sister not so much. She had been fighting cancer for the past couple years. And then my brother's death was totally out of the blue. It certainly woke me up to examine more closely what the value of my own life has and the impact I can make on the world.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago

What a beautiful tribute to your remarkable nephew...Vote up and beautiful and awesome.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 2 years ago

Patricia, I can't say I know how you feel, I just know that the loss of someone dear can leave us hurting, and I wish I could say something to ease your pain of grief from loss.

Just know that my thoughts are with you.

Shyron


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

That, my dear friend, was beautiful. Thank you for sharing him with us all through your words. The world needs more kind souls like your nephew, and we all lose a bit of our humanity when someone like him passes on.

Hugs and blessings coming your way

bill

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