Answer to atheistchick

The Question...

atheistchick

So you were an Atheist then found Christ? Now how did that work? SO you weren't a true Atheist...a true ATHEIST never gives up the truth

The Answer...

"Now how did that work"...

Slowly, little by little, that's the way it worked for me. I started off with the normal garbage Sunday School teachings that immunised me against Church as they never actually got around to introducing me to Christ.

Aged 11 years I started earning cash and exploring life, started smoking at 9 years of age, started fumbling with girls aged 13, started stealing about the same time, smoked hash for the first time at 15 years (it had only just become mainstream, before that (1965) it was mainly blacks and jazz musicians that smoked dope) dropped out of school and started work (took a drop in 'salary') aged 15 also.

Opened a folk club aged 16, started direct selling door to door aged 17, worked and was trained by some of the best scam artists of the time in how to extricate folks hard earned cash from them in 3 hours, longer if they struggled.

Lived in a luxury cottage set amongst fields on a horse stud in Kent at 19, had my nervous breakdown at 21.

God had no place in my life, I was never a militant atheist as we see today, but then it was still something you kept quiet about in those days.

When folk spoke of religion I just nodded and ignored them, the question of hell never bothered me as I did not believe it existed, I was assured that only ME could make my destiny work in my favour and all others were just part of the food chain I fed off.

For the next few years I just enjoyed myself, money was either abundant or scarce but either way it made little difference, there was always someone to con or touch for cash, and the world was top heavy in money then.

At 28 years old I was down in the Far East for the first time delivering armament tenders to Generals and chasing a guy who owed my 'boss' money, almost had him killed, OK murdered, but stopped the hit at the last moment, not for ethical grounds, just because I worked out I was the 'fuse' that could be removed to distance my boss from the hit if it went wrong, and as the guy was married to a generals daughter, there was plenty of scope for it to go wrong.

Back in the UK we started a Central London Estate agency after short period selling Spanish property off 'inspection flights' (another rip-off) and made our first million or so, then started the transition.

My associates wanted me to stand for parliament (any party, they wanted folk in all camps to support their endeavours) and I became slightly disillusioned with what I found when I spoke to parliamentarians I knew (and we had 125 on our books at the Estate Agency) and found that they were all just shrills in disguise.

About then I realise that I was not happy with life, my smile was a false politicians smile, and although I was telling more truth and less lies, it was only for practical purposes, as truth sold houses then.

A split with my long term partner (to whom I had been serially unfaithful) left me living in Spain, and my dope smoking became much heavier, as well as mixing with some of the well known 'faces' of the British underworld, and a whole plethora of folk who had 'been there' lifewise and were strange to say the least.

The smoking opened up my psyche and slowly I started to become spiritually aware, and graduated to using witchcraft and all the associated esoteric stuff that accompanies it.

At 38 years old my son was born, that was a revelation moment, and was possibly the start of my turning to faith in God.

These changes are slow and subtle, but once we abandon God, we become open to other forces out there.

The crux point was on my 40th birthday, when I was isolated and alone completely, living in my detached villa in Spain, with no company, no dope, no cash and no hopes.

I stood in the olive grove that was besides my house and shouted "If you exist, you had better make yourself known to me" it was obviously heard and responded to and series of supernatural things happened over the next 18 months.

My final coming to faith was simply to get out from under the spiritual forces I had invoked and invited into my life, which is the wrong reason to come to faith, but hey! God sorted out the small print later.

You state that a true atheist never gives up the truth, which is fine, as long as you continue holding that what you then know is still truth.

A wise person never precludes that there may be more truth to find.

I still learn daily, research and read daily to check my life against Gods truth, should that ever fail to match up, then I would need to make the next change, but for the last 20 years life has just got clearer and easier to live.

Eternity is a bonus, the life we live is a joy in the present time.

Don't waste too much of it, I wasted 41 years before I found inner peace and pleasure with God.

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Comments (Please do comment) 31 comments

aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks James, not so much a testimony, more an explanation of how devoid of Godly thoughts a man can be before he finds faith and Christ!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

Awesome article, John. I love it! Thank you for your testimony.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks Efficient Admin, Glad you found it instructive!

John


Efficient Admin profile image

Efficient Admin 4 years ago from Charlotte, NC

Thank you for your awesome testimony aguasilver.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

No problem Paul P (if I am incorrect, please remind me in an email) I will discuss my beliefs anywhere, and if I am in error, will amend them, provided that the change of belief is backs by scripture and the Holy Spirit.

If those meagre rules are acceptable, fire away.

John :)

aguasilver at gmail dot com


ThinkFree 4 years ago

Hello Aguasilver,

do you fancy TRUTHFULLY answering to some hard questions regarding what you believe?

I think I have probably asked you before....I am PP (person) from CDS (place).

We can base most of it on the Bible....though I am a little rusty now......though I could still quote from it chapter and verse more than many "christians".

I'm not sure whether I want to dedicate the time.....but do you want to publicly test your faith? Let me know.

I don't understand how this hubpages thing works - maybe we/you would have to open a new thread/hub??

Let me know if you want to PUBLICLY examine your beliefs.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Done and dusted Dusty, you are correct, but I am always open to criticism, though downright slander and abuse is harder to turn the cheek to!

Thanks Bro'

John


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 4 years ago from Arizona

Hi John, I'll give you a bit of direction here, if I may? Allowing the comment that advertised a personal writing that was an act of calling your writing here "wrong" and that you are a liar should be removed, had it not been allowed it would have been a "dud" a shot fired with no readership.Look at it for what it is and who read it. It was read by your reader base who came to read of your experience on a topic I found done well. We all have our stories and when I find a topic that I cannot post something nice, I move on.

Just saying, by allowing the comment to include advertizement of a rant calling you a liar resulted in her getting points for breaking the rules of common courtesy as well as the rule of providing a direct link to a hub for the means of getting support and readers.

I would delete the link and flag the post as well as the hub, as inappropriate.

Stay blessed,

much Peace and Love,

dusty


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks Wesman....


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

I was an atheist too. That no true Scotsman idiocy is hillarious!!!


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks Dusty, me amigo especial!


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 4 years ago from Arizona

John, I believe you've told me this before sans the generals and hit men. It actually quite good in revelation to where we now stand. Be it hits or doing your own hits like a soldier is known to do, it is a great testimony that we can rise above.

I find it profound that smoking a reefer or hash when it was plentiful, opens minds to see what goes unnoticed as we trudge along. I in no way am promoting weed to make one a better follower of Christ, just saying, my experience to wider horizons came out from a cloud of smoke in a time that I needed something to get me past where I had come from where morals didn't exist and brought home and dumped in the midst of moral life loosely based on the Bible. I do mean loosely. A place the pillars went to meeting on Sundays for morning and evening meetings and Wednesday evenings. Smoking at 9 or 10 smoking pot by 13 or 14 at big bags 4 fingers deep for 10 bucks. I never was atheist, as I have memories of Sunday school rooms and the songs we sang burnt to memory with no doubts over the stories of Noah,Jonah,and David and Goliath. I see the reason that we must return to the eyes of a child, in an uncluttered brain there is room for truth.

That room fills quickly as we grow with the evils that the peers of our life force into the "cool zone" and that is where we want to be, no matter who you are but in hind sight there are exceptions, I had friends that were not cool and were not victims of bullies in school, they rebuked the fowl language and my invitations into the desert around the school yard for a smoke, be it weed or Marlboro cigarettes. I had reached the age of rebellion against Gods rules, that strangely were the same as my Dads rules. The kids who did right, stayed in school and were graduating high school while I was touring foreign lands, meeting new folks then killing them, all the while smoking some stuff the likes not found in the small town I left behind to be a Marine only to return to people who had no reason to speak to me flock to the booth in the back of our one little drive in that stayed open until 9pm when the curfew siren sounded and all under 18 were required to vacate the streets, but all they wanted to know was how many I killed and was it like television showed on the news. I could only tell them I'd never seen TV and didn't know. It was the cross over era, I had seen TV just not at my Dads he was a hold out and it was 1966 before he finally bought one. This is getting to be a hub, so I'll cut to the chase, growing up in the atmosphere of Jesus, then walking astray along with the majority and allowing sin to become my master, the road back entailed that I had to leave those who didn't want to come along, so I didn't stumble on their choices that mirrored the "where" I was trying to leave.

Funny thing, when it was raining mortars and bullets, all the atheists were calling for Jesus to stop the rain.

I'd like to have the power to take them into the situation and see just what they thought when a 4 pound chunk of lead wrapped around high explosives was hitting the ground all around them, could they stand and denounce a savior in the midst of the sight, sounds and smell of what they can expect from their lives in the coming tribulation or perhaps Hell a place of discomfort that the evil that lingers in my mind can still imagine what it is comprised of "and yet they still curse the name of God" that I can't fathom at all,

Stay Blessed My Friend,

great message,

dusty


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Hi CJ, and Dave,

Thanks for the comments, your encouragement is welcomed, especially when we are dealing with young women who feel let down by God, I pray they will find some reflection in what we collectively write.

Glad I'm not in my 20's again!


CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Another good read, John, thank you.

You certainly have been through the muck and the mire.

I read somewhere that there are around 15 different kinds of atheists. This is to say that they do not agree with each other any more than all Christian denominations agree with each other.

The aforementioned was said to educate "emmaspeaks" that she does not corner the market on all things atheistic, nor can she talk for all the camps of atheism...only her own.

Hard-lined atheists do not exist in vast numbers for the simple fact that they cannot disprove that God exists. Even if they are quite confident in their position, the question still remains.

I had a relative who was an avowed atheist. She thought she had it all figured out and was infatuated with her brilliant mind and clever ways. Her life was short lived because she came to the same conclusion that most atheists come to at some point: their lives are empty, meaningless, and pointless. She killed herself before she reached her 30th birthday.

Good stuff, John, keep up the good work!!!

Best wishes, be well, and behave - C.J. Sledgehammer


DavePrice profile image

DavePrice 4 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

A wonderful testimony well written, and I am grateful that you shared so much. Great read! Beautiful life! Wonderful brother! Thanks man, made my morning.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks AM,we all lead different lives! Thank God...


A M Werner profile image

A M Werner 4 years ago from West Allis

Great testimony John! Sometimes when I read things like this, I feel I have been hedged by the Lord all my life. I've had difficult things to deal with in life but the sheer weight of dangerous events that have happened to some, like yourself, and you're still alive to testify, is amazing. We all have unique ways to promote the Lord and not all ways can reach all people. Some people aren't going to accept what we went through as being a life changing, spirit-inspired journey. One of your commentors didn't see you as an atheist. Her time has not come yet to see the light. I think being too busy with life to acknowledge and obey the Creator is atheism. People can create their own ideas of what they are but He has already defined those in rebellion to Him. When you were doing what you were doing before finding Him, you were an atheist. Even a person that acknowledges a higher power but doesn't make any attempt to reach Him or obey Him, is an atheist. Enough of my ranting. Just wanted to say - Great Hub! Peace


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks bethperry,

As my mothers side come from Denmark originally, we were probably Norse Pagans at some point!

My Fathers side came from Ireland, and were Catholics.

I just worship God, though Christ :)

Thanks for writing a decent comment!

John


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee

aguasilver, I think this is one of the coolest Hubs I've ever read. I may have another God than you but I really believe the Creator has many faces and is always there for us, whoever we are. Sometimes it just takes a rattling shake to stir us to look for the Creator.

Gods bless to you and voted up.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks Emmaspeaks, lots of reads here, not many comments though, publicity always helps get the message across.

Maybe some more readers will speak out what they think?

John


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Hi emmaspeaks,

Read some of my other hubs, don't form opinions based upon the truncated version, when I have time I will dig out some that perhaps explain my position better.

Thanks for reading, all comments are welcomed, all queries are answered, and thanks for defining what an atheist means.....to you.


emmaspeaks profile image

emmaspeaks 4 years ago from Kansas City

You clearly have no idea what the word, "atheist" means. It certainly doesn't mean smoking at age 9 or being a hood rat. What you have described is just a person who has been easily influenced throughout his entire life. I didn't see anywhere where you described yourself as being skeptical of the existence of god, or questioning it. You said so yourself, "I simply ignored it." That's not being an atheist. An atheist makes a very active decision to inquire about gods and whether or not they exist. You have not done that, so you are a liar. You were not in fact an atheist, you just had more important things to do, it seems. I grow so sick of people like you claiming that they once were an atheist, when in reality all you mean to say is that you just didn't give a crap. Shame on you for trying to pass yourself off as something you clearly were not.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks Eric, I hope that God had some input!

I spent a week in review after an extensive spell in the forums caused by frustration in a business deal that I could do nothing on!

What I saw in me, drove in into contemplation and through the various levels of repentance as God spoke to me, about me, ending only when I reached the 'broken spirit and contrite heart' condition.

I desire to serve Him better than I have been doing, and came to realise (again) that He loves ALL His creation, and so should we.


Eric Newland profile image

Eric Newland 4 years ago from Dayton, Ohio

Thank you for sharing this, aguasilver. It's hard to compose a respectful answer to a question laced with troll-ish venom, so I'm trying to watch and learn.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks Brie, not so much a testimony, just answering a question from atheistchick, which I hope she sees and can understand.

I wrote my first testimony 20 years ago, and my (then) pastor said "I think you may want to revise this later" well he was half right! because as God has shown me what a selfish bastard I have been in the world, the list of offences I have been forgiven for grows!

Wonder what my testimony will look like in another 20 years! :)


Brie Hoffman profile image

Brie Hoffman 4 years ago from Manhattan

I love hearing testimonies, thanks for sharing..voted up and awesome!


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Hi Dave, so true, He takes us in when we are scum, and restores us to humanity and His presence.

Michele, thanks for the encouragement, yes I think a book is in the pipeline, an E book distributed free is my current thinking, with maybe a donation button for one of my favourite charities (Metro Ministries).

https://www.2dialog.com/metroministries/main.php/m...

John


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 4 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

John: Thanks for the reminder. The School of hard knocks is God's best classroom. He'll permit us mistake after mistake, until we reach rock bottom, then He'll gently lift us up and ask if we are ready for Him to begin working in our lives to make it better.


Michele Travis profile image

Michele Travis 4 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

aquasilver you have written a wonderful hub. I do agree with innersmiff about writing a book, because I read a book written by an atheist. He wrote the book to prove there was no God. But after trying to prove there was no God, He found God. Thank you for writing this hub.


aguasilver profile image

aguasilver 4 years ago from Malaga, Spain Author

Thanks innersmiff, I guess that may happen! and this last two years has possibly been training time for that to start, and right now I am just trying to set us some situations that will allow me to concentrate fully on writing.

God willing :)

John


innersmiff profile image

innersmiff 4 years ago from UK

Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like you could write a few books about your experiences.

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