Living for Jesus -- I Would Give my Life for Him

I have been experiencing an extremely rough time in my walk with God. Many things have been happening in my life that have made it difficult for me to look Heavenward to see Him. I have faltered and I have stumbled and at times I have felt as though I am turning my back on the One who made me. During these times of trouble it is especially important that we turn to Him and embrace the cross.

I know that when I have a difficult time, I'm doing it to myself. I come up against a brick wall which seems insurmountable (usually because it is) and I begin to fight that wall, beating it with my fists and struggling to break it down so that I can continue on a straight (and presumably easy) path. I keep beating at it and my fists become bloody and bruised. But stubbornly I keep fighting and keep fighting. I become more and more exhausted and less and less capable of breaking the wall down by myself. Finally, I need to rest, and I sit back and as I do I begin to see the situation as it really is. I look upward and I pray. Ultimately I develop the courage to look to God. Almost as soon as I do He is right there, with all the comfort of the Holy Spirit. And He picks me up and puts me on the other side of that wall, so that I can run to the next one. Eventually maybe I'll learn to go straight to God!

I believe that it is human nature to live selfishly. Society, upbringing and other factors have forced us to always look out for "number one." Most Christians struggle to overcome their own selfishness, and many times we fail, but God is always there for us, always looking to bring us back home.

Who is Jesus Christ?

I was raised Catholic, and during my early schooling years was sent to a Catholic school. Though much of the Catholic doctrine (and dogma!) was discussed, we were never to my recollection encouraged to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Prayer was performed as a group and almost invariably by rote (memorized prayers). We didn't read the Bible, but instead used study materials about the Bible. Religious studies were treated as a history class rather than as a class intended to develop us as spiritual individuals. Overall, the experience was not a good one.

It saddens me now to look back on the number of years that I lost.

I have spoken in my hub Why I Believe in God: A Personal Journey about the path I took before finally finding Jesus. I will reiterate, however, that I never "disbelieved' in Him. I just believed in a version of Christ that is not the Jesus I now know and understand. I believed that He was a great man who had lived on this earth, a man who had significantly changed the world. I did not believe that He was God or the Son of God and I didn't believe that He was a prophet. I hadn't read the Bible and had no desire to do so. I didn't give Jesus a chance and I didn't give Him room.

He is my savior in so many ways, dear reader. I believe, as Christians do, that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. I believe that this was personal, and that He knew that I would come when He gave His life for me. I believe truly and deeply that if it had only been me, He still would have done the same. Jesus saved me from my sins and He saved me from death. I believe.

He also saved me from myself. He took a young woman who was on a very self-destructive path and put real choice down in front of me. He sent me the Truth I now know in the form of dreams. The choice was there, I could choose a path. In one direction was a life filled with fear, anxiety and sorrow and in the other direction was a life filled with light and wonder and true joy.

At the end of one path, Jesus waited for me with open and loving arms. I woke up one morning and I ran into those arms. I have been in His embrace ever since, and my life is profoundly and permanently changed. There is no going back.

Jesus rescued me from myself.
Jesus rescued me from myself.

Feel the Nails -- Scenes from The Passion -- VERY GRAPHIC!

I've been Selfish

One of the steps to accepting salvation is repentence. We must confess our sin to God and repent of it. I have been, for quite some time, truly convicted of my selfishness. When I observe my own sin (even now), the first thing that comes to mind every single time is my selfishness. I have stood by myself for so long, expecting others to do for me what I can do for myself and believing that I was self-made. I have failed to recognize God in everything and give credit where it is due. I've been greedy, unkind and unappreciative.

I feel that selfishness in itself leads to self-destructive behavior, including alcoholism and drug abuse. I have been truly blessed not to have developed a problem with alcohol, but I have, in the past, used marijuana on a regular basis and have engaged in self-destructive behaviors, including attempted suicide and self-harm.

I rejected God and anyone who tried to help me. I believe that part of the reason I am divorced is my own selfish and self-destructive behavior. I have faced enormous challenges in my life, and most of those challenges have been of my own doing. Due to my own selfishness I have made choices that have led to my own bitterness. I believe that by rights, I shouldn't be here. I know that were it not for God, I wouldn't be here. Strong words, but yes, I know and give Him full credit!

I owe everything I am to the Lord Jesus. It is He who comforts me and holds me when I am sad or in need.
I owe everything I am to the Lord Jesus. It is He who comforts me and holds me when I am sad or in need.

I Owe it all to Jesus

I owe my life to Jesus. If I had never found Him I know that my life would have still been in the complete chaos that I fought before He called me back to Him. There is nothing in my life that cannot be credited to him. I am here to write this hub because God gave me the ability to read, to think, to type. He gave me the talent that it takes to write and the persistence to keep doing it. It is through His love that I am able to come to you today and present what He has done for me.

Jesus is my Life

Those who don't believe will not understand, but Jesus is everything for me. He is my friend, my brother, my lover. When I think of Him, speak to Him in prayer, my entire being aches for Him. I am in genuine romantic love with the man who put his life down in order to save me from myself. There is no greater love and no greater gift.

For Whom do I Live?

I cried on my husband's shoulder that night, telling him how selfish I felt. And as he comforted me in a rare moment of complete oneness between us, he told me that he knew that I wasn't. He knew that even in prayer I put others before myself. That often I was so exhausted from a day that I forgot to take my own personal supplications to Jesus, and that I often asked Him for His divine healing for others in my life, and sometimes for others who I have never met. My husband understood something that still is sinking in for me: I have learned to put others first. I don't live for myself and have finally begun to live for others.

Do I live for Jesus? This is such a difficult question, and I think that it needs to be examined as I need to examine where my personal priorities lie. I believe in biblical priorities, that Christ must be the head of man, man the head of woman and so on and so forth. And yet I wonder, do I truly put Jesus first, or does my husband come first?

I'm Not There Yet

I'm not there yet. As hard as it is to simply realize that I haven't quite made it to where I want to be, I want to be honest with myself. I don't take enough time out of every day for prayer (though every day includes prayer). I often forget to prioritize and to accept God's blessings. I often forget to pass His message on to my daughter day by day. I am often too wrapped up in the "other things" that I have to do on a daily basis and I commonly forget who is the Author of my life and salvation.

We don't go to church and haven't for some time. We just can't seem to find a church that satisfies the needs of every member of our family. And the truth is that I believe we are both happy resting on Sundays and not sitting in a pew. It's sad, but it's true. Perhaps we just haven't found the right church home, or maybe we both feel conflicted. Maybe we know, deep in our hearts, that our priorities are wrong and we're afraid to face it. I don't know.

What I do know is that there is work to be done, and I had best get to doing it.

At the bottom of the page you will be able to see links to the next hubs in this group. I have grouped this hub with other hubs that are, at their root, about me. If you would like to view my other Christian and Spirituality hubs, please view the links directly below.

Believer's Poll

Do you feel that you are "right with God?"

  • Yes, I have a wonderful relationship with Jesus and I foster it daily.
  • Yes, but I feel that I have some growing to do regardless.
  • No, I don't feel that I am right with God at the moment.
  • No, I am not a mature Christian yet and am doing a lot of growing right now. Getting there though!
  • I am a believer but not a Christ-believer.
  • I'm not a believer, but I like to vote!
See results without voting

More by this Author


Who is Jesus to You? 20 comments

Laila Rajaratnam profile image

Laila Rajaratnam 7 years ago from India

Glad you found your path and working towards your inner peace!The minute you realise your drawbacks,you are on the right track to reaching your goal.Thanks for sharing!:)


Everyday Miracles profile image

Everyday Miracles 7 years ago from Indiana, USA Author

I agree with you completely, Laila! It's an uphill battle a lot of the time, but I'm still happier for it! Thanks for reading!


Jason 7 years ago

I dont know anything about "Hubs" and am new to this. I liked what your saying, Christ believer myself. What I want to know if you can explain this to me, in your free time and if you want to. I actually found your profile/hubs by your comment on the 30 in 30 challenge!

...Can people make money doing this?? I use my facebook to write things, like this post(hub?) to share the "face" of who I am and wonder if I can work a bit harder and get money somehow...hmm Well if there was a way to pass along my email so you could tell me more privately I would...I am willing to post a junk email of minel.

Blessings!


skye2day profile image

skye2day 7 years ago from Rocky Mountains

Hi everyday Miracles. Love your hubs, honesty, sincerity to share the truth, love for Christ, and your writings. We do get attacked by Satan. He tries to take us from God. The closer we get he pushes harder. Do not let him. You can laugh and him He must flee in the name of Jesus. You have authority. Also when I get into my own head I find helping someone, calling them or perhaps answering a hub question takes the focus from me and into helping the Lord. Remember we go through seasons. When you get through the storm (yiou are not alone) you grow. This too shall pass. All will work out. I am grateful to meet another believer on hubs. Check out my hubs at skye2day. I have household tips and remedies that are very simple to make yourself. Save time and money. God Bless You Patti


cristina327 profile image

cristina327 6 years ago from Manila

This is indeed a great hub. Without true repentance there is no genuine conversion to Christ. I am glad now that you have found your path back to God. Remain blessed always. Thank you for sharing this hub. I find it very inspiring.


create a page profile image

create a page 6 years ago from Maryland, USA

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your hub. It was a reminder that we all have struggles and that we cannot overcome by ourselves. I am glad you recognized that it is the power of God that will help you to overcome.

I hope that you will continue to rely on Him, because He is able to 'keep you from falling'. I am glad I found you today. I look forward to reading your other hubs.


John Cain profile image

John Cain 6 years ago from Dayton, Texas

I can relate to this in many ways. It is a very good reminder of what our target is and to get focused upon it. God bless you.


David2423 profile image

David2423 6 years ago from Ohio

Great Hub and testamony Keep walking. I wrote of times where we as adults are to proud to cry out has his children..Crying out to Jesus. take a minute and read if you will.


Artin2010 profile image

Artin2010 6 years ago from Northwestern Florida, Gulfcoast

I know your hub has been out here for some time now, but just as with Jesus Christ it is never too late to feed on God's word, the Living word. We are all having trouble with our feelings and faith, this is a common situation shared by all believers, only some of them refuse to bring it out in the open for others to see. Prayer is necessary to build faith and also character. Rebuke the evil surrounding you and stay in touch with Jesus. He said I will never leave you, nor forsake you! That is that. Wonderful hub you have here. Blessings


errum fattah profile image

errum fattah 6 years ago from heart of love...

everyday..u says u give ur life to jesus n what did u got from him?? nathing right?? but my God had promised me to give heaven n he's right in his promise...com'on use ur sences had u people lost ur sences?


jesusmyjoy profile image

jesusmyjoy 6 years ago from Bucyrus Ohio

Wonderful writing, I myself have issues, its so hard walking this walk in this day and age, if you could please pray for me..


angela_michelle profile image

angela_michelle 6 years ago from United States

We seem to have found God the same way.


Everyday Miracles profile image

Everyday Miracles 6 years ago from Indiana, USA Author

I haven't been on here for a while, but I must counter that Yeshua has given me EVERYTHING. I would give my life for him because He gave His life for me. He died on a tree so that he could pay the pentalty for my sin, so that I may have everlasting life. THAT is what he has given me, errum fattah.


Michael Adams1959 profile image

Michael Adams1959 6 years ago from Wherever God leads us.

What an awesome truthful writing. I too fell upon myself til one day I was able to cry out as did the prophet jeremiah, I am cutoff. God healed the hurt and has blessed me daily as I walk in His grace.Jesus stretched His arms out over the waters and spoke the words PEACE BE STILL what a profound saying when we apply it to our hearts and feel peace by being still. I hope you can see my hub by that name and find a hope only Christ Jesus can give. I pray you find the right church and are blessed by going to it. My wife and I found that church a little over a year ago and it is no turning back for us now. PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!


Jokarenk profile image

Jokarenk 5 years ago from Addison, NY

I commend you on your hub and being honest to yourself and sharing it with others. Your testimony of God's faith is so similar to mine, I do not know all of your details but enough of what you said goes along with the journey I took to come ot know Christ. I had written a testimony of my path to Christ and had shared it with my chuch you are an inspiration to me. I will someday place my story on here. I just joined today as I was previously using blogger.com but i found that site not as user friendly as this and you cannot search people's blogs quite so easily. I understand when you say that you have not found a church yet that is suitable for everyone. I myself went to numerous churches and could never find one where i felt comfortable until I found the one I am attending now and plan to always attend. I would like to invite you to my church's website in which was recently made and placed online. My pastor has many readings for people as well as sermons that you can listen to in audioo format or video and they are also free to download. I know that this church is not near to you but maybe if you checked it out you could listen to the sermons and find peace in what you are searching for in God's words. The website is http://gatewayaddisonny.com/ feel free to search the site and listen to the sermons. I feel that you will be inspired by our pastor. He has also placed his truths about his life before finding Christ. I have noticed that so many Christians have a past and I find comfort in that because it seems that we all have to go through something before we find Christ in our lives. I myself do not feel I would be where I am if I had not gone down the roads I was on to get wherei am now. God has a plan for us from the beginning it is the free will that we have that gets us to where we go but his grace that finds a place in our heart and lives.


Alicia 5 years ago

The writing is to true and I seems to be going to be going through the same path....feels so dry and helpless without Jesus. Please pray for me and husband that we recommit our life to Jesus and live an ex amplified life to our community and friends..pray for us..we need help..your prayer support


Diana Mendes profile image

Diana Mendes 5 years ago

Good Hub! Very inspiring & encouraging. Jesus loves us & has plans for our prosperity. All the trials & tests we go through are meant to strengthen us & bring us closer to Jesus who is waiting to bless us. Bless you Everyday Miracles.


suvitharoja profile image

suvitharoja 4 years ago from India

A great and inspiring Hub. Jesus is the name above all names and every knee shall bow in His name. I experience great things every day in my life and I thank Him for his unfailing love towards me.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

this is lovely.. Jesus saved my ,life too.. once I started experiencing a personal relationship with him I was never so happy.. then hard times came and like You I have to be honest I kind of went my own way. but Jesus is so loving He brought me back.

God bless you for writing such a wonderful hub

I am sharing on Facebook on the Prayer request page

Happy new year to you

Debbie


Jerry Hulse profile image

Jerry Hulse 3 years ago from Kingsport, Tennessee

This has got to be pulling on the heartstrings of God because it really got inside mine. Absolutely astounding and well written. Voted up and hope I find time to read your other ones.

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