Ask DJ Lyons: Cow's tale about her tail
If a cow could talk, what do you think it would say?
Here is one possible monologue that you might hear if you happened to converse with one of the white cows who live practically next door.
Nature's Notes: Cow's tale about his tail
You may call me a white cow. My color matters not to me. It's just a matter of pigments. Of what use is pigment to a cow.
You humans love to label things like white man, black man, brown man, red man, and yellow man. Do you know how silly that sounds from my cow's perspective? It all boils down to pigments - like I said before. Each of you humans have different pigments that alter your skin color from light to dark. Other than that, all you humans are the same.
Some little kid described us cows as a large four-legged animal with hooves and a tail. There are a lot of four-legged animals out there with a tail - large and small. Granted, not all of them have hooves. So that is not what makes us unique.
Some other kid might say, "Cows like to chew their cud."
Okay, that does makes us a bit more distinctive.
Almost every little kid is encouraged to answer the question, "What does a cow say?"
The kid proudly responds, "Moo!" The parent or grandparent or older sibling or preschool teacher applauds.
Guess what our response would be if you ever asked us cows this question: "What does a human say?"
Our response would be, "Blah! Blah! Blah!" No offense. But it just sounds like a bunch of nothing to our ears.
Another kid states, "We get our milk from a cow." That is certainly true of dairy-farm cows.
Another kid states, "This hamburger I'm eating was originally a cow." I'd rather not think about that. However, it certainly is true about some beef-farm cows. I certainly hope I'm not one of those.
What I really want to discuss is my tail. In fact, this is the tale of my glorious, very useful tail.
Behold my tail!
When I wave it, I can shoo away a fly.
When I'm hot, I can wave my tail to cool parts of me off.
When I'm cool, I can wave it in such a way to generate some heat and get my circulation moving.
I don't know about other cows, but I like to use my tail for steering. When I want to move right, I angle my tail to the right. When I want to move left, I angle my tail to the left. When I want to go straight, I point my tail straight down.
When I see a delectable patch of grass or one of my cow friends or even a human I particularly like, I wave my tail in gentle motions. If I see something or someone I don't like, I wave my tail in more jerky motions.
If I see a particularly delectable patch of grass that I want all to myself, I use my tail to kind of throw the other cows off course. They see me pointing my tail in one direction and they gravitate that way, then I quickly hightail it for the food I want in another direction. Psyche! Smile! LOL! I learned that phrase from a kid who lives nearby.
Okay, I told a little tale earlier. I have selective hearing. I can klnd of understand what some humans say. It takes a lot of effort though. Mostly, I would rather relax and chew my cud in peace.
What is the moral of this monologue?
The point I want to make is that you need to make use of each of your body parts and treasure it. Make it work for you.
Did you notice how many uses I found for my tail?
Can you try to do the same? Maybe your arm hurts; however, can you still use it to wave or lift or shoo a fly away or hug? Celebrate that fact. Focus on the things that you CAN do rather than the things you can't do.
Don't bemoan your body shape or parts as not being good enough. That is being cruel and unjust. Celebrate you exactly as you are.
If you want to make a change, such as this scribe taking down my words wants to lose weight, do it gently and tactfully.
For Example ...
You could say things like, "Body, you are great just the way you are. Body, you are beautiful. Body, you are a gift from God. You are my Body Temple."
FYI - I picked up that Body Temple term by listening to some of the scribe's thoughts.
Then gently steer your body in the direction you want it to go.
You might say, "I've heard that we will be a lot healthier if we lose a bit of weight. I love you just the way you are; however, I want us to have a really long time to continue on together.So how about we try to shed a few pounds which will increase our longevity? What do you say? Can we work together as a team, Body, to try to do that?"
Doesn't that sound a lot more diplomatic than saying, "Body, you are ugly! I'm going to try to lose the outer part of you as fast as I can."
Do you get the drift I am trying to make? Be a friend to your body, and it will be more of a friend to you.
And now, I'm ready to end my Cow's Tale of my Tail. I hope you liked it!
Cow pictures taken from my open car window the end of February 2011
You'll laugh 'til your sides hurt! Flying cow works like a slingshot and makes a mooing sound while flying.
This adorable 2 piece set of salt and pepper shakers features kissing bovines. A strong small magnet holds these sweethearts together in big happy Mwah...SMOOCH!
Totally Bamboo’s Cow Cutting Board is light, super strong, totally green and all too fun. It is 5/8 of an inch thick, which means that it’s maneuverable and easy to store. It’s also durable; it offers tri-ply, cross laminate construction with a specially formulated high temperature adhesive. What more, this beautiful board is made of strong, eco friendly bamboo. The benefits of using bamboo are numerous. For example: bamboo is 16 percent harder than maple, yet easy on your knives, it’s naturally anti-microbial and it’s eco friendly; it holds the promise of a sustainable, cost effective, and ecologically responsible alternative to the widespread clear cutting of our old growth forests. Totally Bamboo uses organically grown Moso bamboo, so you need not worry about harmful pesticides or fertilizers. Plus, this bamboo is not a food source, or a habitat, for the Giant Panda. Totally good for you and totally good for the environment. What more? Board is easy to maintain. Wash with warm water and occasionally use Totally Bamboo’s Revitalizing Oil to extend life and keep it looking beautiful. Board measures 14-inch by 10-inch by 5/8-inch.
This adorable spotted cow is crafted from brightly polished sterling silver with black enamel inlay. Beautifully detailed and fully dimensional, it features a split ring so you can secure it to the chain or bracelet of your choice.
Aurora Plush 12" Cow TubbieWubbie. Aurora World is a premier manufacturer of gift plush, stuffed animals and soft toy.
In A Field Guide to Cows, John Pukite provides all the facts--so even the novice can identify and get to know America's fifty-two breeds of cattle. Every entry in this entertaining yet completely usable book features an illustration that highlights each breed's most easily identifiable traits, such as coloration pattern and body shape. The book includes a checklist of breeds so the die-hard cow watcher can keep track of sightings, a list of essential garb and gear for cow watching, a glossary of terms, a listing of breeder associations, and more. Fascinating cow trivia is interspersed throughout. Informative, amazing, and amusing, A Field Guide to Cows is the indispensable companion for would-be cow tippers, farmers, city folk, agriculturalists, interstate drivers, 4-H'ers, vacationing families, and everyone who likes to moo at cows.
* There are approximately 350 squirts in a gallon of milk
* Old cows in India have their own nursing homes
* From 1866 to 1895 cowboys drove about 10,000,000 cattle out of Texas
Gorgeous Pendant with colorful enameling in a matching Velour Hinged Gift Box! Our entire series of these cute animal necklaces makes wonderful gifts! Each pendant hands on an 18" chain. Sterling Silver finish. Get one of each style!
In one of the most imaginative books you'll pick up this year, photographic artist Glen Wexler fuses reality and fantasy to create an alternative world where cows can do just about anything. Awards and recognition for Wexler’s work come from such prestigious sources as Communication Arts, ZOOM, French PHOTO, Creativity, Graphis, Photo District News, New York Art Directors’ Club, Beldings, NPPA, and Key Art Awards. Wexler's digitally enhanced photo-illustrations are paired with udderly funny musings from the likes of Dave Barry, Ogden Nash, and Eric Idle, who authors the book's foreword and happens to "know a bit about cows in comedy." Wexler put more than 75 days of photography and over 600 post-production hours into this book, working with EmmyAward-winning production designer Anthony Tremblay, Muppet wardrobe designer James Hayes and pyrotechnic expert Joe Viskocil, among others. No detail or pixel has been overlooked in the creation of this "mooving" photographic exposÉ.
These fun tube socks by K. Bell will keep you warm and comfy all season long. With a cute Cow design, these socks will keep you warm and cozy all winter long. They are a generous 15 inches long and have a non-skid gripper pattern on the sole.Very well constructed of 80% Cotton, 20% Nylon.
Mooo-ve over, here comes the Signature Cow! Everyone loves a bodacious bovine, and this one is as lovable as can be. There is a Cozy Hayloft Hideaway where you can find this pet feasting on its Signature Grass Patties. Webkinz™ pets are very special plush animals. Each Webkinz pet comes with a secret code that allows the owner to log into the website and adopt a virtual version of their pet. With this code as their key, children can join Webkinz World™ without giving out any personal information such as e-mail, last name or phone number.
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