Ask "their god"!!

Wow, you won't believe it folks. I was passed out after drinkin the koolaid when god showed up. I saw this cloud of smoke and heard a rumbling voice saying, "Hell No, why do you make fun of me". So I says God? God? Is that You? He replies, "of course not. I am the god of the church of hellers." "In other words, the god that you mock and expose as imaginary." I then said, "but you don't exist. You are an evil imagination of those who have been indoctrinated by the established churches of the land". "You especially reign in the minds of the self righteous churchies that hate the idea of spending eternity with everybody after they have been shown the truths of the Real God". "So fake god, what will you have me do?" god sends a flash of light blinding me. . . .. .oh wait, he just pulled his pants down and. . . . .oh this is embarrassing, I couldn't see for several hours after that. Anyway, I woke up and thought that it was all a dream. But then I saw a note which said, "Hell No, keep drinkin the koolaid and open a question and answer hub with me and whomever wants to know why I am the way I am".

So. . . ., that's good koolaid,. . . . . .so, as commanded by the god of false doctrine, I invite all, from hellers to atheists to universalists of all types to ask god a question and he will answer it. Don't be upset if he is cross because he really hates being challenged and doesn't like most people anyway.

Tell ya what, I'll start by asking the first question.

Comments 85 comments

god 6 years ago

You call me weak? I created this planet and all life in seven literal 24 hour days. You know how tiring that is? And then I created people, expecting them to all just fall on their face in praise. How was I supposed to know they'd make up a bunch of pagan gods and thumb their noses at me? And if you went to church, you'd know that the fire was created for Lucifer because he stopped kissing my butt and became Satan. And all of you people desearve to go to hell anyway. Why? Because. .. .because I just can't stand your whining and your disgusting habbits like when you use the toilet and such. But if tell me how great I am, then I'll let you praise me for eternity.

Atheist Nation 6 years ago

Hey god, science proves that the earth and universe are billions of years old. You can't be real because your followers mostly believe that the earth is about 6000 years old. What do you say about the big bang theory?

god 6 years ago

I hate atheists. I am going to burn them in super heat for all eternity. Oh, and you want to know what caused the big bang?

Then pull my finger. Ha, ha, ha!!!

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

You know what god?!! That's really rude. Uuuummm, not the eternal fire part, but the pull my finger remark. Say what you will about hating sinners and burning their undead corpeses for all eternity, but I do not tollorate childish fart jokes or anything thing else dealing with body functions on my hubs. Don't let it happen again!!

god 6 years ago

Sorry Hell No. If you allow my posts to continue, I'll turn the heat down a couple thousand degrees for you when you are condemned to screaming hell fire.

rockrdude 6 years ago

I have 2 questions. My first:

This whole "trinity" thing really confuses me. And which one of the three of you am I speaking to anyway?

So assuming you're the father.. if Jesus is your son, and the Bible says He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, doesn't that make Him the Son of the Holy Spirit, even though the Bible says He's the Son of the Father?

I need to know, because I was told that if I don't believe you're a trinity, I'm gonna burn for all eternity.

And my second question:

Why is Lazarus in heaven and the rich man burning in hell?

I thought in the Old Testament days that if you were rich you were blessed by God, and if you were poor and begging you were cursed by God, since God has never seen the righteous begging for bread.

So why is the blessed one in hell, and the cursed one in heaven?

Sanctus Vesania profile image

Sanctus Vesania 6 years ago

How can you be omnipotent, and have given us freewill at the same time? Don't those two things cancel each other out?

LoveSoftly profile image

LoveSoftly 6 years ago

OH, and why do you demand that poor people pay tithes when they can't even feed their families?? Even people in the Old Testament didn't tithe money...and didn't tithe on something they didn't have!! So now I hear the preachers on TV tell folks that they can pay with their credit cards!! Do you own a Rolex?

god 6 years ago

Rockr, you ask too many questions. That makes me very angry. Didn’t they teach you in church not to ask so many questions? Yes, I am the father, uuummm, and the son also.. . . ???. . . . See, I created the son an eternity ago. In other words, I created myself again. Confused? Well, I knew that eventually I would create man and they would make me so mad that I’d be ready to burn every last one of them, even though I thought that they would be righteous and love me. But I digest, I created my son, or myself to die for these humans that were created to be perfect but I knew would be sinners. I said OK, maybe I'll save a few. Anyhow, you’re probably still wondering about the holy spirit. That’s the part of me that’s uuuuuummmm??? Holy. Even though, I am the holy. Spirit that is.

As far as Lasarus, he was poor because he must have paid an abundance of tithes. ?? See, when I birthed. . . . .myself with the holy part of me, I decided that tithes now had to be money. Also if someone like Lasarus pays 99% of his earnings into the tithe bucket, he will be so blessed that he will be able to sit in a special part of heaven known as Abraham’s bosom and watch those poor souls in hell writhe in pain like the rich man. As far as I can remember, the rich man must have stolen Lasarus’s tithe money. I can’t remember what he did to piss me off so much. But remember, the book says that a camel will sooner pass through the eye of a needle than a rich person escaping the eternal barbecue pit. Do you call my word a lie?

god 6 years ago

Sanctus. Before I ever created everyone, I knew who would choose evil and who would choose. . . .well. . . .me!! I just can't change what I set in motion. I mean, I gave everyone a free will at the same time that I set everything in motion, even though I knew what everyone would do at that very instant. I don't want to force the love of billions, so I make this impossible by hiding and giving a few people a book (King James only please) and just hope that everybody gets to read it. I mean, are you trying to confuse me? I made you. . . . .but. . . .with a free will to uuuuuuuuummmmm choose. So just so you understand, I know all, I do all, and I make all. But you can still do whatever da hell you want with your free will. Hey Hell No, gimmie some a that koolaid.

god 6 years ago

LS, I get these questions all the time. It's not a problem for a poor person to give 10% of their income. Didn't you take arithmatic. If a billionair gives 10% of their money, well. . . . .hey. . .that's a lot of cash. You hear anybody crying for the Benny Hinns, Creflos and Hagees, and such? Benny Hinn has to put countless millions right back into his own ministry so that he can dip into it again to by a new jet. But some poor sap that makes $100 a month? OK, let's do this together. Multipy by .10, move the point over, carry the one. . . .It's only $10. It's not gonna hurt no one to pay $10. Even if you only have $100. And the Africans that make $100 a year? Even easier. Stop crying for the poor. If they prayed more I'd give them more money. Guess they aint prayin. As far as my rolex? I think the rich man stole it. That's why he's burning in hell for Lazarus to watch.

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

And you don't have to be so sarcastic. god!!!!

ha-satan 6 years ago


The End 6 years ago

Why did you make men? If you knew that most would end up in hell.

If Satan knows he's going to hell, why does he keep fighting? It seems that he'd be the first to give up.

Why is the king james the only good translation of your word?

odourous cantankerans 6 years ago

If so many are going to burn,isn`t abortion a good thing ? After all if all those aborted babies were born,grew old and died,in all probability the majority would end in hell anyway.

babylon_is_fallen 6 years ago

dear babylonian [i mean christian] god,

If it's true that Jesus came 2,000 years ago to save us from Eternal Hell, then why did Jesus speak to the crowds in parables, on purpose, so that they couldn't understand what He was saying?

parable boy 6 years ago

Hey god, how do you explain this!?

Rev 20:14 And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.

I thought "hell" was "the lake of fire"? Just how many hells and lakes of fire are there? Isnt one enough?

god 6 years ago

The End, I made men because they complain even less than women. Satan just doesn't want to go to hell alone. He's into surfing and wants all to see him surfing a wave of fire. His vanity strikes again. He also likes music and all musicians will be there because music is evil. But I will have the last laugh. I have a special place researved for guitar players and Satan hates the guitar. It's the most over played instrument in the world. You can't even listen to classical music any more without hearing some transcription for guitar every 15 minutes. And every numbscul that took guitar lessons for two weeks says, "I used to play the guitar". But I also hate classical music.

As far as the inerant King james, hey, it's named after a king. You can't do better than that.

god 6 years ago

OC, babies must be given a chance to choose me. I need their love. If they are born into the wrong religion? Tough. It's their fault. They were given a free will and have no excuse. Afterall, doesn't my creation prove my existence? They have no excuse to deny my son (me). So abortion is a capital sin with eternal hell consequences.

god 6 years ago

BIF, Those parables were to show how smart I am. If you aren't bright and scholarly enough to understand them, then to hell with you. You should have stayed in school.

god 6 years ago

PB, The lake of fire becomes hell once hell is cast into it. The elements mix to make the most potent torture machine ever. I can't wait for this accomplishment to manifest itself. Right now, hell is just super hot. When it mixes with the lake of fire, it will be ludicrous hot. Those burning in hell right now have only this to look foward to. But to add insult to injury, I'll bring them out of hell temporarily, just to judge them and say, ha ha, you're going to the real thing now. That's when a trap door opens up below them dropping them in to the most hideous creation of mine, ever.

Hell Master 6 years ago

Dear god,

Why do I, The Sex Master, have to suffer

for so long without getting satifaction. It seems that all my prospects already have a master. Did I do something to ofend you dear god. Is it that you got tired of my filth and lies. Wait! Is it because I spent all my money on women and never paid any tithes to Church Lady's Ministries?

PS, Can I get my mansion back with at least 10 women and three sport cars? Thanks in advance.

GinsengRose 6 years ago

Dear god,

Why do all the televangelists' wives have the same makeup and hair style? If I have the same makeup and hair style as them does that make me holier? Or will it make my husband turn to prostitutes?

LoveSoftly profile image

LoveSoftly 6 years ago

ohh, poor Hell Master...I hope he'll have a little mercy on you, but I wouldn't bet on it!! He's not very merciful...

god 6 years ago

Sorry BIF, I just get tired of hearing how difficult the parables are to understand. I just don't get it. They're just talking about dropping seeds and wise investments. They are of little importance to understanding what I say. But they are very easy to understand. You just have to think like a child.

god 6 years ago

Ginseng, how dare you assume to compare in righteousness with the maids of my perfection? My teachers of the word are perfect and their wives please me with their painted looks and spider trap hairdos. The even laugh, as if on cue, every time their hubies joke about the very real chance of their followers going to hell for not walking in the holy faith as they do. Repent of your blasphamy.

god 6 years ago

Oh, don't worry LS. I'm cooking up something special for the Hell Master.

roy d profile image

roy d 6 years ago

But god, Carrie says I'm going to burn because I don't believe in hell, but just in case, Can I bring some steaks and cold beer, maybe a few pounds of good herb? I can drink the beer really fast and inhale the burning bud. I guess I'll have to eat the steak well done with all of that heat going on down there.

god 6 years ago

roy d, Carrie is one of my favorite daughters. Whenever someone makes it appear that she is wrong about something, like a pro, she brings forth a wealth of information gathered from her many word studies, and arranges it in such a manner that only her and other highly regarded church folk can make sense of it. She is so good at what she does that not even I, god, understand what da hell she's talking about. But it's all true, I just need time to let it all register. I will invite her to the Q and A session in the near future. As for your beer and steaks? You may only enter into hell with the forbidden foods such as pork, shell fish, and crow. Satan wants you to bring lots of beer though, because he likes his beer hot.

god 6 years ago

So Hell Master, do you actually come to me over your disgusting lust for sex? Sex was never supposed to be for enjoyment. In fact, I invented the orgasm as a way to make people that take part in it feel shame and never want to do it again. What is it that you and billions of people enjoy about that naughty feeling you get during sex? Hell is for those who have turned against me and freely choosen to enjoy sex rather than exclusively take part in the act of pro creation. And let’s see,. . . . . .nope… . . .no procreation from you. Just lots of dirty intercourse with the daughters of Eve. You might as well be a sick rapist. My records show that you were married once and got divorced. Yeah, yeah, you blame her but she was so depressed after the breakup, that she has since gained an additional 400 pounds. How do you feel now? And I noticed that you did conceive one child. But it wasn’t your choosing. It appears that Dr. Bowflex, the proctologist drugged you and made a love child with your evil seed. But he is a terrible little devil who pees on everybody.

So, I have commissioned Church Lady to save you from the fires of hell. Once she is through with you, you’ll never forget to pay your tithes, sex will be a disgusting bad memory, and church will be your home away from home. Soon you’ll hear a knock at your door. When you open it, Church Lady will have a blow torch specially sanctioned by me. Before you can run, she’ll send a raging flame right up your rectile passage and this will purify and set you free from all of the evil that you take part in. Once finished, Church Lady will say 5 simple words that you will surely oblige. “Get Your Ass To Church”.

LoveSoftly profile image

LoveSoftly 6 years ago

Hell it ok to laugh at this god?? cause he's cracking me up!! If I laugh at him will he try to hurt me or will you protect me?? If I were Hell Master I think I'd be looking for the REAL God!

Hell Master 6 years ago

So god, you really think you got me with your witty comments. It is I who entertains you with my sexual habbits. Therefore, I demand to be given all my women, my houses, and my cars back. If my wishes are not answered, I will tell, my son, Little Davie, to piss on every fountain, every church's holly water, and on every living thing ever created by you. PS O god you devil (Sound familiar?)

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Excuse me god, why are you wasting our time with those exchanches with Hell Master? This Church Lady has no such power. And if Little Davie goes to hell won't he just pee out the fire? You are supposed to be answering sincere questions only. We must be made to understand your ways so that some of the saved may be able to overthrow you with their free will over the next 20 million years.

Hell Bound 6 years ago

Hell No, I do not approve such comments directed at Hell Master. You will surely have a place in the volcano. It is wrong to stop the Master from getting his well deserved pleasures, after all, those evil creatures of the swamp made his life a living hell for nine years. PS We're in the Swamp, we gota have that Swamp!

LoveSoftly profile image

LoveSoftly 6 years ago

god? Why do your people act all indignant when Hell No tells them what the Scriptures really say about hell and free will? Are you AFRAID for them to know the truth??

god 6 years ago

I'm afraid that Hell No is leading people to hell. I can't stop him. He is too powerful. If people even ponder the message that he states, I will be forced to send them all to an eternity of pain, terror and hopelessness. My warriors stand for the truth. I am three persons in one, I created everything perfectly 6000 years ago, only for that Lucifer to mess it all up, and must send all to hell that freewill themselves not to believe in me and sin even once in their lives. If you accept me, you can do all of the sinning you want and win the privalage of kissing my divine butt for eternity. In fact, I am trying to convince Hell Master that he can indulge in every fantassy he ever had, so long as he accepts me. But my followers are only angry that so many are going to hell because of Hell No, Ray Smith and all others that teach the lie of universal salvation. My 2000,000 person flock all know that they are right and that they are better than those who don't believe in me.

god 6 years ago

I meant my 2,000,000 member flock + all those who died already that accepted me. They are already in heaven stuffing their faces with whatever they like and living in gold mansions. Yes, gold has worth in heaven. Sorry about the mistake. I am not very good with numbers.

god 6 years ago

Again, I meant 2 billion. I just can't remember how many zeors that has.

LoveSoftly profile image

LoveSoftly 6 years ago

excuse me,god,'s 2,000,000,000. that would be nine zeros. You'd think that a god who could keep track of 10% of the income of the world could figure out how many zeros are in a billion...why don't you love us enough to save us all, anyway?

odourous cantankerans 6 years ago

dear church god guy

Will I require a lobotomy when I get to heaven ? You see ,I have family and friends who I love dearly, but I'm not sure they are going to make it.If I'm aware they are being tortured eternally, that thought alone will torment me for ever.I appreciate I will have a lot of new friends in heaven but will they be enough to ease my concerns.

If you choose the lobotomy root and I have my memory erased so that I don't have to suffer, how will I know how I got there in the first instance?

god 6 years ago

Dear Odour,

I still haven't thought that one through but my word does say that the things of old will be forgotten. And as the scripture says, I shall wipe away all tears. This means that if your alzeimers doesn't kick in, I'll continually wipe your tears away. When you are wailing "grandma, why" or "my poor little daughter Suzie", or "why are those nice Moslem people on fire" I'll apply my divine hanky every second until you stop complaining and irritating me. Remember, crying is the first step to reallizing that your efforts are futile. It will make you strong.

Osrisis/Isis/Horus 6 years ago

We are the Egyptian trinity. We are the original trinity of whom humans worshiped. You made a commandment. Thou shalt not steal.

Yet, you steal our identity! Why?

- Osrisis, Isis, and Horus

god 6 years ago

What's wrong OIH? Hell too hot for ya? See, I knew that I could create some bozo to make up some divinity triangle that is even more ridiculous sounding than me, the god of hellers. . . . .UUUUUUUUUUhhhhhh, excuse me, make up something to stump those damn Egyptians who would free will themselves to enslave my people and then after agreeing to let them go, harden their own hearts against me. If you three ever existed, you are surely burning in fire with full nervous systems. I need to study my history a bit. Did those gods have nervous systems to feel my pain and wrath? Well, they were probably fakes. And besides, my trinity was based on other ridiculous fables. I mean. . .. .WHAT DO YOU MEAN ORIGINAL TRINITY!!!!??

Osrisis/Isis/Horus 6 years ago

Hell? HELL? For your information we live on a magical boat up in the sky that is dragged by Osrisis's err I mean MY evil brother! We do this everyday so that humans can have their precious sunlight!

Sometimes we judge immortal souls. If they are good, and kissed our divine asses we let them go to a wonderful world! Where they can grow crops, and drink beer!

If they pissed us off then we would either let our pet worm eat them, send them to a fiery hell, or reincarnate them!

god 6 years ago

Oh no, you are wrong. The worm was my invention. At this very moment there are billions of them eating the flesh of dead people. . . .???. . . .yet alive people in hell. You know, where the worm dieth not? And look, my hell burns them at the same time they are eaten by worms. So my hell is way more torturous.

odourous cantankerans 6 years ago

dear church god guy.

I have just finished reading a biography of the chinese dictator Chairman Mao.He was responsible for the murder and terrorization of millions of his people,they also invented all manners of hideous tortures which was used a against the population.Now the world generally recognizes him to be an evil man.and rightly so.

Yet if when I die I went to hell, according to your church buddies all that torture (ripping my limbs off, crushing my skull,worms,burning with fire etc) becomes something good and an expression of your love towards me.

How can something recognized as evil in this life suddenly become good in the next ? you've got me confused

god 6 years ago

Odour, yes, I am a god of love. I love all people. I will love all people for eternity even while I am buring them and (I almost forgot) allowing demons to rip them apart. See, I lovingly put those people in hell back together. It is an example for those in heaven so that they can praise me for allowing them into heaven. But those in hell will still receive my love. I will condescendingly tell them for eternity how much love I have for them while they scream blasphamies at me. Because hell is justice for not accepting me and believing only in my word, preached at one of millions of christian church structures throughout the world. The screaming of hell's inhabitants will be glorious to those in heaven once they have forgotten how many of their loved ones are there. Hell is perfect.

Hell Bound 6 years ago

Dear god and Hell No,

I have been given the power by the lord Yeshua himself to tell you both its time to take a break. I command you both to go out in search of women. You must take one of these women as your wife and have children. Once again, I tell you to stop wasting your time in the internet and search for true happiness. PS. You must start a family.

LoveSoftly profile image

LoveSoftly 6 years ago

Dear Hell Bound,

Good luck with that command!! I must insist that Hell No find a woman of impeccable character, strength of will and an iron stomach!!..because it will take that kind of woman to put up with him...Look what he's done to that poor woman on the other hub....sad...And I ask you is the world ready for Hell No's progeny??? uhhhh NO!! :) Now stop trying to distract him from this important task of exposing this god! :)Don't make me come down there!!!

RockrDude 6 years ago

Since I'm already in trouble for asking too many questions (I didn't pay attention in church apparently), I have one more:

Which Christian denomination is the right one?

I have Catholic friends who think I'm gonna burn because I'm not a Catholic. I have Church of Christ friends who insist they are the only true first century church (and BTW they tell me they are not a denomination' even though they have central offices, their own publications, 501c3 status, etc). I have Lutheran friends (and family) who insist they're the only ones with the truth. I have Baptist friends who are extremely concerned for my salvation because I don't attend their church (or any church) regularly. And, let's not even start with my Pentecostal friends. They are positive they have a special exclusive hotline to your very throne!

And what about those universalists who believe in the salvation of all men? Everyone says they are heretics because they don't believe in "hell".

So, each one disagrees with what the others believe, and each believes they are the only true Christians.

How do I know which one is the right one?

parable boy 6 years ago

Hey god, riddle me this. What is the point of an "resurrection of the dead" of both the just and the unjust,(Act 24:15) if everyone who ever died is already alive in Heaven or Hell? Seems like a wasted step to me. Why not just cut out the middle man in Acts 24:15 (since they are already alive) and just judge them on the spot? Or do they die again just before said resurrection to make it official?

Just Passing Gas 6 years ago

Dear god, Why ever would you choose to use the hubs of this evil Hell No to get your answers and truths out? He teaches heresy and says bad things about you. You must send people like him to a dungeon of eternal fire. But I am not here to complain about him. For some inexplicable reason, your perfect daughter Carrie has denied my comments to her about her greatness. At first she answered me and called me Gene. I am not this person Gene. I worship her true spirit and she cuts me off. How can I show her my sincerity in wanting just to pass gas. Here is the link to her article of great teaching where she shows that we can live in perfection while those non christian devils burn for their sins.

Just Passing Gas says:

38 minutes ago

Carrie, it is great to have such a warrior of the truth such as yourself to follow. For years I looked at the scriptures and felt they taught a different gospel in my oppinion, than all of the churches. Now that I have read your stuff, I find that I really don't have to be saved with all of those criminals. I'm glad that most will not get to share in the glory of god with us. That would be such a burdon.

Judah's Daughter says:

24 minutes ago

Gene, When we have the HOLY Spirit of God within, we understand that God HATES sin. Sinners cannot be purified by good works, religion, or the lake of fire. If that were the case, Jesus would not have had to come (God HIMSELF) to DIE on that cross!! It is truly by faith in His righteousness alone we are saved!!! This is the GOOD NEWS!!

Your last statement aligns with the cries heard by the saints in Revelation 6:9-11 "How long, O Lord, holy and true, will You refrain from judging and avenging our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" Praise God, He is victorious! Oppression will cease!!! Hallelujiah to the Lamb!

LoveSoftly profile image

LoveSoftly 6 years ago

Hey, "Passing Gas" should we not forget how very upset you made Judah's Daughter when she realized (or when she THOUGHT") that you were in reality Hell NO! In the beginning she was actually agreeing with you when you said.."I am glad that most will not share in the glory of god with us..." Read her last paragraph beginning with,"Your last statement..." That is so telling of HER Character!! She was agreeing with YOU that it is a good thing that most will not share in the glory of god! ok so now this is her reply when she realized her mistake..then the whole thing was deleted except for her last Hell NO....

Judah's Daughter says:

2 days ago

"Hell NO ~ you used "Just Passing gas" as your name, and it fits. You are setting a fine example of what it means to be saved by L. Ray Smith's standards."

This is all she has to say?? What about her selfish attitude toward sinners? I think god has some explaining to do here!!

god 6 years ago

Rocker, there are many things that can send you to hell. Just find a ballance so that you believe and disbelieve all church doctrines just enough so that you won't piss me off. Now the essential doctrines are:

1. Lucifer Devil

2. Free Will

3. Eternal Hell fire for nonbelievers and universalists

4. I am great.

5. No really, I'm great and you should drink wine and eat crackers and say they are me. . . . . .but only if you're catholic.

6. Heaven and hell are forever.

7. The King James is inerrant and all other bibles are of the devil.

8. The heavier the cross around your neck, the more you love me.

9. You must root for all christian college football teams except for BYU because mormons are really weird.

10. You may never question the trinity because it is an essential doctrine backed up by many a pagon tradition. . . . .I mean. . . .just read Carrie's trinity hubs with her divine math.

11. 1 x 1 x 1 does equal 1.

12. Evil created itself.

13. Science is generally my enemy, unless it supports YEC.

Remember, if a church teaches it, don't worry about the scriptures. Because they are right even if the church across the street says they are wrong.

god 6 years ago

Hey PB, unfortunately I didn't work that part out when I created everything and made future plans. See, I meant for those dead in heaven to just, you know, stay there at the resurrection and maybe have a ressurection party for them like when someone goes to a party well after recieving their doctoral degree. But instead, they will have to be sucked right out of their mansion in the clouds into some misserable damp judgment room. Try taking a warm shower when it's freezing cold outside, have a buddy turn off the hot water and listen to you scream. That's sort of what it will feel like to be ressurected out of heaven. Now for those in hell, it will be like sport. I pull them out of fire to say, well, I guess your going to the real thing now. That's gonna be fun.

god 6 years ago

Who is this Hell Bound. Does he not know that I am yeshua? And how dare he tell me to find women when they are the ones that can't keep their lust filled hands off of my forbidden fruit?

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Ha ha god. You said your forbidden fruit. Guess what that means folks. Besides, you are not the real Yeshua, you can't even spell with a capital letter because you know you are not him.

god 6 years ago

Hey, why don't you shut up Hell No!! I am Y. . . . . . .I am Yeshhhhhh. . . . I am Yeeeeeeeessssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????

I am yeshua!!

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Well, let's go over to Carrie's hub about hell and ask her who you are.

god 6 years ago

Yeah, let's ask Carrie. If she refuses to answer, I'll riddle her white sparkly teeth from that 20 year photo of her with ugly cavities.

Just Passing Gas 6 years ago

god, I went to Carrie's latest hub and noticed something rather frightening. She now calls herself Judah's Daughter but her picture shows that she is a lion that practices copulation with sheep. Is this sick or what? god, I went to her to praise her for teaching your truth and I see something so vile. Is she really one of yours or is she of the devil like Hell No? She also deletes my posts so she must actually hate the truth. That image will stay with me forever. Don't believe me? Well, take a look.

god 6 years ago

Excuse me, but Carrie can do no wrong. That picture must be showing the intense love that all of my creatures will have one day. Who are you to judge such a thing as two completely different species exchanging fluids? My bible says nothing about that being sinful. Perhaps they are trying to produce a new hybrid and. . . . . . . . .

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Uuuuuuuummmmm??? god??

I think the lion is supposed to represent Christ and the lamb is a representation of us. Yeah, the picture looks rather silly when you think about it but the intentions are good. Actually, I'm insulted that one with such a negative and wrong view of the real God would use such a picture. If she says that she represents a lamb, she's lion.

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LoveSoftly 6 years ago

god? could I ask you another question??

My friends and family think that I'm in danger of going to hell because I don't go to church, don't pay tithes, and you know just don't do much churchy stuff at all anymore..I say I love my God and His Son and serve them with my life daily..but that's not enough I MUST go to church..why? that's my question, god..Why must one go to church? Can you answer that?

god 6 years ago

My ministers have received training in the godly art of hermaneutics. They know for absolute certainty when phrases are to be taken literally and when they should be taken figuratively. For instance, if the word sheol is used in a way that sounds scary, it is definately talking about the after life of hell. But if it is used in a way that contradicts an eternity of screaming fire such as "Oh Hell, Where is Thy Victory", then it is obviously talking about death. We all know that hell will have victory over the lost. If you don't go to church you cannot receive my blessings and therefore, will be subject to an eternity of super sizzle with demons ripping you apart and stuff. It is like what many have to do to get certain jobs. A lawyer must go to school and listen to people who have mastered their trade. Would you want somebody opperating on you that never went to medical school? Don't you think that in order to teach elementary kids basic skills, one must attend at least 4 years of college, learning how to memorize facts for tests? So of course you have to go to church to make it to heaven. If you flunk out, your unemployment line will be hell. And there's no well fare in hell. And tuition is 10% of your worth. It makes me just fume when I hear that my ministers should have to do real jobs to make a living and that my houses of god only need walls, a roof and seats with electricity. I'm god, I demand the greatest architecture, even in poverty stricken neighborhoods. By the way, your God and His Son are not me, so you have free willed your self to deny me. So start tithing, take a bath in holy water, and go to church imediately. Stop corosponding with Hell No because he is of the devil. Read Carrie's material. I will write commentary on her work as soon as I figure out what da hell she's talking about.


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LoveSoftly 6 years ago

oh, god! it would be a lot easier to take you seriously if you weren't such a crock!! Hell No even knows more about salvation than YOU do!! what is your greatest promise to your followers anyway? Is it eternity in heaven..doing WHAT?? laughing at the ones who are in hell? You'd better come up with something quick, god, or you are going to lose your followers!! Your people get bored easily! That's why they have so many "programs" in the'd better think of some "programs" for heaven or you may have a mutiny on your hands!!

god 6 years ago

What do you mean? My followers will have lots of stuff to do in heaven. You know. . . .floating, uuuuuuuummmm. . . .playing harps and. . . . . well. . . . .living in their mansions. And don't forget, they will be able to worship me nonstop. What's boring about that? It'll be so much fun that they'll forget about all of the hell viewing activities.

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Thinkaboutit77 6 years ago

blah blah blah, you will meet the real God soon enough. You're one breathe away from eternity. I hope you grow up, stop pretending to be the Creator, and repent and trust Christ. Nobody has to go to church, tithe, etc in order to be saved by Christ. Just ask Him to forgive you and He will. All the other stuff Christians do (church, tithe) is done because they love Him (John 14:15) not because they "have to" in order to go to heaven.

god 6 years ago

Oh my blessings shall fall on you Mrs. Think. You tell that evil Hell No that I am god. And of course I don't require tithes to go to heaven. But you better not make me angry because the tithe may be the difference if you are treading over fire or on the wire when you expire. See, my blessings have already taken affect Mrs. Think. Your grammar is nowhere near as bad as it usually is when you defend your beliefs. Soon you will wake up and notice the title of your holy hell hub "To Late" is correctly spelled "Too Late". As in, "uh oh, I am finally able to prove my existence to you pagans and doubters, but now that you know I am real and are ready to worship me, I will still burn you in real fire for eternity. Mrs. Think,I shall also provide your golden mansion with a heavenly thesaurus so that your communication with your family members who never made it to heaven, will be articulate and they will be able to embrace your happiness while they writhe in pain. I have much more work for you now. I command you to get with Carrie, Sir Dentalot, and that other heller who teaches that hell is in the middle of the Earth, to attack this Hell No fellow with every opportunity. You must save his readers from his lies because I can do nothing for them. Your existence for this very purpose.

god 6 years ago

Ooops, you are the guy that teaches that hell is in the center of the Earth. I got you mixed up with this other heller. But you are exactly right. That graphic that shows what Earth looks like in the center is priceless. It makes me want to eat a hard boiled egg because it looks like one cut open... . .. .Except, I don't eat. .. .sooooo,,,??? Forget I said anything. Anyway, the yolk represents the solid inner core. It's so hot there that I will send all those universalists right to that location. And continue teaching about the 23 minutes guy. I have commissioned him to write childrens' books.

PAMITCHRUS 6 years ago

god.. is it true that those who teach and delight in the doctrine of hell will themselves be the religious crowd whom Jesus will tell to depart from me you workers of lovelessness(the law is love) into the fire prepared for the devil and his angels?? You might wanna check out that pamitchrus's hub on the kingdom of God your in to make sure he ain't spreading lies about you !! Defend yourself oh God !!

god 6 years ago

Pamit Chrus!! i told you it is the hellers that are my true sons and daughters. Why do you hate me so? my book says that the fires of hell are very hot and are eternal. Why would i throw my people there? i think you should seek the wisdom of Carrie Bradshaw (Judah's Carrie) because she understands my truths more than i myself do.

regardless  6 years ago

you have to be very ignorant to believe their isn't a superior being out there somewhere life isn't just created randomly... take space for example its infinite as far as we know you cant just assume that theirs nothing out there that couldn't be our god. i rather dedicate this life for a chance of eternal happiness. and if its just death then what have i wasted ? im dead it doesn't matter can't regret anything...

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Well regardless, I believe in the perfect God. Which god do you believe in?

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LoveSoftly 6 years ago

You're right, Hell NO our God is the perfect God...He never makes mistakes and He leaves nothing to chance..all is according to His perfect will! :)

Peacemaker 6 years ago

I can't believe I actually read some of your "stuff". Look we are all going to die and face judgement with our creator, the real GOD thru his son our savior, Jesus Christ. So, stop going back and forth and go read the bible and pray for forgiveness. This is the last time I make a mistake to read your "stuff" and more so of the person refered to "god". And it is right you use the little "g" because the real almighty god is know as GOD.

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Peacemaker, you don't even know what judgment is. I believe that we are always facing judgment. I hope that mine can be completed during my physical lifetime. I hope you will actually read my serious stuff because it all but destroys the many ridiculous doctrins of church hellers.

church god 6 years ago

Yes Peacemaker my son. . . .errrr. ...daughter. ... Notice, I now have my own site of which you may come to worship my church greatness. These hubpages have much to answer to for not letting me use my title "god". I had to use church god instead. They will suffer for their sins. You are right about Hell No. He hates my beautiful word of heller truth. I assume you are a heller as well. If you are not a heller, you are neglecting my most prized doctine. I must freighten the world into submission. This great fear of hell is good and righteous. Remember, don't forget to tithe.

Dani 6 years ago

God created the heavens and the earth... can any human do that? ... NO. Everything will pass...we will perish for this life is temporary. Don't set treasures where they will not last... for where your treasures are there is your heart... God loves you... he yearns for you. Do not be deceived... there is natural and supernatural...

1 Corinthians 1:18

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God."

May God guide you, and I pray that in the name of JESUS CHRIST, My Lord and saviour, your eyes are opened...and your heart is filled with his loving holy spirit... because I ASSURE YOU, NOBODY AND NOTHING will help you when you are under a depression... when nobody understands...for humans are fallible.



Try it...why not?

You've got NOTHING to lose and so much to gain.

I love you, for God loves you.

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Dani, who exactly are you talking to here? If you are telling me something then check what it is that I belive before writing stuff that your church higher ups tell you to write.

Dani 6 years ago

(It was an overall respone, not just to you)

My "church higher ups" don't tell me to write anything Hell N0...

I've LIVED it...

God is truly amazing... I don't expect you to understand or all of a sudden believe in Him from what I type...

It's God who changes lives, not me but through Him.

Just a quick question; have you ever tried to believe in God?

I really like listening to people and understanding where they come from.

God bless you person whose name is not revealed.

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Well Dani, your overall response shows what an overall idiot you are. I think it's clear that most of the respondents here, including my-self, do in fact believe in God. This is an old hub so I think it's safe to reveil to the blind that it is a spoof on the fake god of churchdem. You know, the one that saves only a few and sends the rest to some hell hole of torture for eternity. You continue to show your self righteous attitude by insinuating that if I don't believe in some orthodox church god then I don't believe in God at all. And it's the God of the scriptures that I believe in. All scripture that is. But you haven't checked any of that have you? You just see church doctrines being blasted and mocked and you assume that we are doomed while you are somehow, already saved. I guarantee, you are not. Not yet. And with your attitude, you are probably no where close to it.

Dani 6 years ago

Your words are so full of hate. Why?

They're hurtful as well.

And the devil believes in God...

What's your point?

GOD is righteous... Whether you believe that or not is between you and God. HE knows what's in your heart.

...hun, you don't know what I've practiced or studied...

BUT, I am not typing this to argue or inform you of my my fields of study nor am I typing this to disrespect you in any way... I just commented with love... regardless of the "AGE" of this hub.

From the bottom of my heart, seriously, I've experienced God's grace... His miracles... spiritual warfare... it's real...

How old are you ?

P.S: I really wish you wouldn't have answered with such an aggressive response when I was being friendly...if you say you believe in God , pray for kindness.

God bless you.

Hell N0 6 years ago Author

Yes, I do believe God is righteous. I believe His plan is perfect for humanity and His will, will be done. Do you believe this Dani? Or do you really think that we can accept God without him first choosing us? Do you think God's plan of saving all of humanity will ultimately prove to be a weak wish? I responded as I did because you don't actually read the content. Your latest example shows that you provide baseless statements such as "the devil believes in God". He sure does and he is perfectly happy with his false church believing that god will save only a few and roast the rest of humanity for eternity. Now that's a big deal to me. I'm not sitting here attacking every church doctrine that I think the scriptures have proven to be incorrect. I attack the vicious and evil doctrine of hellers. I don't know what you believe about that but you certainly have not taken the time to find out what either I or anyone else here believes. So I take a bit of an exception to someone coming here to plead with me about the existence of God and His righteousness when that's what I've been saying all along. As far as my age? Well, not too many 18 year olds really care about how many people the church say are going to burn for eternity. It took some years of wisdom before God led me to many of His truths. So Dani, I encourage you to give me feedback, but only if you are willing to find out what my stance on God and His plan really is.

Emmy 6 years ago

Hell No has his sword sharpened and ready to go, but Dani seems to be facing the wrong way... how will this turn out?!

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