Bound To Kill
I have spent most of my last month, or even longer in the forest; in different forests but that does not matter much. I like spending time in the forest with the standing people (trees): it gives me more time to think, uninterrupted. The city is not that good for clear thinking, hence I always like to take time-off in the forest.
As I was setting-up my tent one day, I noticed it had landed on top of a little cedar tree. I was not happy. Cedar is a sacred medicine for me, as it is also for probably all the people of the First Nations in North America. So, the tent had to move. I looked around and I finally found a spot with dead leaves and some grass.
I apologized to the patches of grass for having to place my tent on top of them and wished that I would not kill them by sleeping there for a few nights. Then, I remembered many years ago, when I was also setting-up my tent on the top of a little mountain and a small green snake ran away from underneath.
“How many little critters am I also killing with my tent now?” The question stayed with me. And the next day sitting down on the grass, I realized I was near an ant hill and I had blocked their traffic and perhaps sat on a few as well. Thoughts started racing through my mind again:
“I am so big compared to all the critters and whatever I do, I seem to keep killing them: either them, or plants … or something. Can I stop killing things?”
At this point I think I am of the opinion that whatever I do, I am bound to kill. Even if I turned vegetarian and sat on a piece of concrete for the rest of my life, I would still have to eat something, once in a blue moon. And even plants have life. Beans, tomatoes, corn … they all have life … Maybe if I just scavenged around … In that case perhaps, I might get away from killing things.
I saw a wasp nest being formed around the top corner of the window of my bedroom today. I thought about smoking them out for a second … yes, just a second and then, I smiled and wished them well. They were busy working on building their home and I had no serious intention of disturbing them.
I am not happy when I have to make a kill but I do think it is necessary sometimes and as the saying goes: “I can not only see things as true but I can also see them as necessary.” The wasps may eventually have to go if for example someone around is allergic to their sting (i.e. neighbors).
Note: My photos, British Columbia, Canada, 2011 - Did anyone notice the black bear in the second photo? True, it is only a little black patch in the middle of the second photograph - nose and years can be somewhat seen, to the right of the evergreen tree - clicking on the photograph enlarges it and it is a little easier to see... It took off quite fast when I approached him/her. I had no chance for another photograph ...
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