Damn Physics!

I like to point to lesser minded beings sometimes, like say my sister. Those "people" who seem to blame God or the Universe or some kind of higher power every time something goes awry like her keys are missing or she stubs her toe. But I'm guilty too. Just the other day I was up early and cleaning the kitchen, y'know mainly doing the dishes and straightening up. Something my wife does each and every morning. Something I felt that I was doing as a favor even. Not really considering that I only clean up the kitchen in the morning about 1 out every 365 mornings... but I digress. I was cleaning up the kitchen in my awkward clumsy man way, tipping and spilling things and sometimes making more mess than was there before. And I was doing things, like for example, when I was wiping down the oven I ran my hand into the metal edge of a burner unit and it dug a little into the side of my finger and it stung. It really did sting. So I felt a need to blame. I even looked up and said, "God damn it!!!" and I know I felt wronged especially since I was doing something "nice".

I think we all do this a lot. Blame God or our Higher Power or anyone other than ourselves. This is normal. Less normal maybe though is when we blame God for things like running your finger into the edge of a burner. I mean, what did I want to happen? I wanted God to suspend natural order and protect my finger because I was doing something nice? Shouldn't that be reserved for pulling cars up into the sky to avoid accidents? I mean, really? I'm going to feel wronged and a bit pissed at God because I have a little hunk of stingy skin on my pinky from my good deed of the morning? It's physics that is to blame. If you run into a wall you will probably hurt yourself. Do we really want God intervening and preventing all injuries? it be nice. It all seemed a bit silly though when I thought about it.

So now I (and I'm suggesting all of you) am going to put blame where it belongs. Since it can't be my fault. I'm the innocent actor of a good deed with what may now have resulted in a semi-infected finger!??!? It is physics fault!!! Physics creates the stupid world where if you walk wrong barefoot you stub your toe or if you misplace your keys they don't magically go back up on the "key hook". It is physics. That ole bugaboo of cause and effect. Who said it had to be this way? Physics did! Not God. Not the Spaghetti Monster. Not a Pink Omniscient Unicorn. Physics.

Damn physics! So next time you burn your tongue on too hot morning coffee (well maybe I could blame QVC for that) as I have just done now - don't blame the Higher Powers. Don't blame yourself. Blame physics. Damn physics! Damn stupid physics. It is to blame. Ack!?!??! My coffee just spilled onto the carpet when I moved my elbow. Stupid physics! Oh, that felt better. And a tad less silly.