Double Minded

 

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.  James 1:8    

 

 

As of late this is how I've been feeling, double minded. I had a very, very bad day at work last week and ended up losing my patience with a patient. I work in a clinic and am usually very compassionate. I usually tell people I will pray for them and if they are sad I feel their pain and cry. It's like I have two extremes sometimes. I know sometimes we all lose our patience and re-act to the way people act or what they say. However, this is really bothering me.

I later called the patient at home to apologize. He said I wasn't brought up right. I also called my supervisor to let her know what happen. I thought I might be fired. I wasn't fired but my boss was quite shocked for me calling an elderly patient rude. She had seen the way I was with patients in the past. The man also complained to the clinic supervisor where the lab is located.

I worked hard at this job and had to learn a lot, so even though I was thinking of quitting but I am deciding to stick with it. I am shy to know that by now all the clinic staff and doctors of the clinic have learned of what happen.

Of course, when we lose or patience with someone there are always other factors that lead up to it. I hadn't slept much the night before. We were extremely busy that day. I had a few on going stresses or worries that was plaguing my mind. And this patient was rude to me on two other accounts before this day.

Sometimes I feel like I am bi-polar I have many of the symptoms and sometimes I don't feel very Christian like. I know God forgives us when we ask for it, but sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. I wrote a hub a few months ago about a soft answer turns away wrath and here I was re-acting to an elderly man's rudeness. I also wrote a hub about not worrying. I must go back and read these hubs.

Mostly, I would like to not work and just stay home, even though I am sure I would get very bored. Maybe I could work from home. I don't know but please pray for me fellow Christian hubbers. Pray that God will show me his will and give me extra patience.

 

Comments 20 comments

ama83 profile image

ama83 6 years ago from San Jose, CA

Sky321,

Everyone has bad days, though I am sorry to hear you had one that is troubling you so much. But, the fact that you have written about it shows how badly you feel, and I think that is a testament to your true feelings. The people who know you should recognize this, too. Sometimes we do things we regret, but recognizing our errors is the first step to healing :)


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Thanks ama83 your comment is comforting.


samsons1 profile image

samsons1 6 years ago from Tennessee

thanks for this hub - Sometimes it does us good to just get things off our chest. Read Phil 1:6, Christ is always with us and working through us. You are in my prayers...


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Thank you for reading samson1. Also your prayers and the scripture. I really appreciate it.


tim kenner profile image

tim kenner 6 years ago from Greater Orange County

Sky321, I struggle with this as well. It's so hard sometimes to have the mindset of Christ and realize that stress and people who are rude, possibly because they are mean or something is bothering them and they come along and we let our guard down and the whamo! We say something that we later regret, you have a good heart and are human like us all and days like this will come again. God bless you sis, you did good to call and take the high road, many people would have never done that. :-)


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Awe, thanks tim kenner, your comment was both comforting and uplifting.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa

Oh, that horrible feeling when you realized you’re behavior was not Christ-like! It bothers you for days. But henceforth you’ll know you are able to loose your temper, and you will take special care not to loose it ever again. May you soon be okay and happy again.


lifegate profile image

lifegate 6 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

Sky, it sounds like you're human. What's really refreshing is your concern over the situation. If we were all more humble and honest like you, what a better place the world would be.


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Sky321: Like it or not, our human persona is multi-faceted,we were built with a variation of emotions some of which we try hard to suppress, some we try to suppress but cannot, others we permit to run freely.

Also we have a tendency to respond to different people and different situations in different ways.

Fear not dear sister, it's just a part of being who we are as humans.

Brother Dave.


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

MartieCoetser: Thank you for your comment and hopefully next time I will just walk away.

Lifegate: Thank you or your lovely comment. I am really not all that humble, I just like sharing my mistakes and victories.

Dave Mathews: You are right about responding to different people in different ways. Usually when I deal with rude people I take it as a personal challenge to bring the anger level down, but this guy for some reason or another seems to know how to push my buttons and actually enjoys it. Irregardless he is an elderly gentleman therefore I should have been nicer. You are right we are all just human. Thank you for your wise and comforting comment.


"Clouds Among Us" profile image

"Clouds Among Us" 6 years ago from New York City - California - London

This is a very common occurrence nowadays, since it seems as if people want to deliberately test your patience. I have experience in this same type of work environment involving patient care. We handle emergency care over the telephones and believe me it is not uncommon to experience the rudest customers you ever want to talk with. We must all bear in mind that there will be days like this!


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Clouds Among Us: You are right there will be days like this. I get disappointed in myself. Thanks for reading and commenting.


lynnibug profile image

lynnibug 6 years ago from Florida

Sky, It's not your fault that you lose it every now and then. The poison in this world is very real, and it is placed in our path by the enemy to draw us away from God. More important is the miracle that you don't lose it more often.

I wanted to share with you from the home page of my website http://onemonthofwisdom.com.

The world we live in is a difficult place to stay connected to love, and so we adapt to survive in it, or so our mind tells us. But in fact, the more we adapt, the more we disconnect from our true selves, and begin to live in a false reality shaped by fear and hostility. The more disconnected we become, the more we lose touch with the reality of what we truly are. (That is why the rude patients are rude)

This is what Jesus came to teach us. The promise of eternal life is grounded in removing that which is of the world (anti Christ) from our core, and allowing the love which is our true self (the mind of Christ) to be conscious, active, and ever present. It is in this state of being that we are able to know and walk with God.

God has already forgiven you sister. It is time to forgive yourself.


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Thanks lynnibug, Thank you for your comment and do I value your opinion. I will check out your site later.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Sky, Be encouraged! We all have days when we are not quite up to parr... No doubt your spirit has been convicted and repented... Don't let a moment in time define who you are! You are a work in progress! May the Fruit of HIS Spirit continue to grow and flourish in your life!

Keep looking up! There are better days ahead! Your HOPE is in the LORD! "Being confident of this one thing, that HE which has begun a good work in you WILL perform it until the day of JESUS CHRIST!" Philippians 1. In HIS Love, Joy, Peace, Joy & Blessings!


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 6 years ago from Canada Author

Hi Deborah, thank you for the encouraging comment. God bless.


Woman Of Courage profile image

Woman Of Courage 6 years ago

Sky, You have a good heart, and a true character. I admire the fact that you were bold enough to share this with us. I have also experience losing my patience as a christian, and I ask God to keep me in the right spirit.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 6 years ago from Pacific Northwest

Sky, thank you for being so transparent. God will bless you for it. I had something like this happen at my work this past year. There was one woman who would test the patience of Job and the whole department was experiencing a lot of stress because of her. She was a kind woman, never spoke a cross word to anyone, but she talked 24/7, and whined constantly about the slightest little things. She also seemed to not to know what things were inappropriate to talk about with co-workers and customers alike.

On many occasions she would stop working to talk. When I was supervising, I got short with her on a few occasions and had to apologize. She was not very forgiving but she still talked to me. I knew that this woman had done a lot of suffering in her life, but I felt that was no reason to excuse her behavior. I would go home and beat myself up for days.

If we are suffering from depression or emotional stress or upset, sometimes we blurt out things we wish we hadn't. And you know, emotional problems or not, we all have bad days where people test our patience beyond limit. Forgive yourself and move on. God's grace and forgiveness has covered you. You did everything right in apologizing, and confessing to your employer. I am sure you are familiar with 1 John 1:9...If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." You are God's beloved. Be free and at peace.


DURRANI 4 years ago

SAME SUITUITON GOING WITH ME SO MUCH HATTING THE LIFE DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO THINKING OF GOING TO MENTAL HOSPITAL..


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 4 years ago from Canada Author

Hey Durrani, If you really feel like you are in danger of some sort with your thoughts and need some help then why not go to get some help. It's not a bad idea. Hopefully, the other Christians on the hubpages will see this and also agree with me in prayer as well. Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for Durrani right now. You know him inside out and you know what he is going through. I pray that you can comfort him and give him some direction on what to do. I pray for a peace to be put in his heart and mind. I pray that he will be able to think straight. I pray that you can give him a clear mind so that he may seek your wisdom and comfort from you. Be with and bring him into fellowship with you. I pray all these things in Jesus' Name Amen.

Durrani, please update me on how you are. Thanks and do take care.

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