ABC's of Self-Realization: Finding Forgiveness For Your Sake

To forgive is to give forth. It releases you from the past.” - “Positively Positive” on Twitter

Forgiveness comes in many forms but the most important aspect to remember is that it's for the one who was offended or victimized. The offender or perpetrator may never even hear or know that he or she has been forgiven, therefore, it has to be for the one who was harmed.

There was a news story a couple weeks ago about a lady whose son had been murdered. She was devastated, as would be expected, not only because it was her son, but because it was her only child.

She decided to go to the prison to meet the man that murdered her son. With great fortitude, she got to know this man and told him to his face that she forgave him.


As time passed, he was released from prison. Miraculously, not only were the woman and this man still friends, he now literally lives next door to her! She said they are not the “best” of friends, but they watch out for each other and are concerned for the welfare of the other person.

It's amazing to think that we are innately gifted with the power to forgive. We so often think that if we forgive someone, that we are condoning what they did. Condoning heinous crime or unconscionable behavior has nothing to do with forgiveness. We think that if we forgive, the “whole world” will forget the inhumane things done against us, which is also inaccurate. People that know us and love us will always know and most usually, remember, the pain that has been caused in our lives.

There was an article about someone who chose not to forgive abuses done against her by her ex-husband. She felt that he didn't “deserve” it and that by not forgiving, she had more determination to go on with her life and become stronger. Forgiveness isn't about deserving, it's about healing. In this author's perception, the lady had the appropriate motivation for an inaccurate reason. By holding onto her anger and hate and bitterness, she is only harming herself. The physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional parts of her innate being are affected by her concept. It's this author's belief that any aspect of a person's entire being will be damaged if it is not within that person's awareness to come from a place of love, acceptance, or forgiveness.

Nothing is easy when it comes to awareness of what we are doing and why we are doing it, that's for sure, yet nothing is more freeing than choosing awareness in resolving feelings that have happened because of events we didn't wish for.

One of my all time favorite sayings is a line in a song from Michael Jackson's “Man in the Mirror.” He sings, “If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.” When we see so much hurt and suffering done to others and to ourselves as well, the best choice in the world is to look in the mirror. It's best to work on the parts of ourselves that aren't totally beneficial to us or anyone else and then watch the events and people change in our lives because of the reflection of light that they see in us. Namaste'!

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Comments 8 comments

Rastamermaid profile image

Rastamermaid 5 years ago from Universe

I like your hub Lene Lynn,sometimes we just need to forgive ourselves first.

We constantly beat ourselves up when someone does us wrong,we blame ourselves we should have seen it,we saw signs but ignored them.

Forgive yourself,thank God for the lesson and now for the foresight to see it coming the next time.


Lene Lynn profile image

Lene Lynn 5 years ago from Glendale, AZ Author

I totally agree with you. I guess my mind was thinking more about the unexpected abuse or events done against us or our loved ones. I forgot to include things we do that we need to forgive ourselves for. Thanks for your comment!

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

I agree with you that forgiveness is totally necessary for us to have any peace. I had plenty of reason not to forgive someone but it just ate away at me and finally I choose forgiveness. I wrote a similar hub a while back and I think this is a great message to be repeated many times as many people have such a problem with letting go of the past. Rated up!

Lene Lynn profile image

Lene Lynn 5 years ago from Glendale, AZ Author

Pamela, me, too. Ny ex beat me and literally almost killed me in front of our two sons. I chose forgiveness as well. It took awhile, but I forgave. And I agree, many people have a big problem with letting go of the past...thanks so much for reading and commenting! I am glad you chose forgiveness, too, it heals us, not them and that's a good thing for our lives. :)

Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

I've read that story as well and loved it. It is almost beyond comprehension. The egoic mind cannot quite fathom anyone going this is this woman who did exactly that.

You're ex is a sick man and hopefully found help for his rage. Wonderful hub, thanks for sharing.

Lene Lynn profile image

Lene Lynn 5 years ago from Glendale, AZ Author

Denise, thank you so much for your kind words. I am so impressed that you read so many of my hubs right in a row! I am honored that you would take time to do that! Thank you, thank you! And it's not so much my ex's rage as it was his black outs during his abusive alcoholism. Black-outs seem to give alcoholics the "cop-out" for not remembering how abusive they were. He didn't ever need to yell, he just hit and abused, which is bad enough all in itself! Thanks again for reading my work! :) Blessings, peace, and hugs to you! :)

Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

My pleasure...although my mother was an alcoholic she did not rage or black out. But, there came a time when I, and my older daughters, refused to talk with her in the evening b/c she became so critical and negative. I guess she did have black outs-she didn't recall the conversations. Take care-I love your work.

Lene Lynn profile image

Lene Lynn 5 years ago from Glendale, AZ Author

Denise, well, I can see why you resonate with what I write now that you explain about your Mom. I am so honored that you love my work. It makes me feel that I am doing something positive and beneficial for others! That is what my purpose in this life is - to do that very thing! :) You take care of yourself, too, and have a great weekend!

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