Finding your Mate God's Way
One issue that is common in these days is loneliness while waiting for that special someone. Waiting is one of the toughest things in the world. But we have to trust God for the special someone. There are several things, several issues in our hearts that must be dealt with before God will deliver His promise to you.
Pro 18:22 A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. Pro 31:10 Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels. The answer is, you can through God.
The desire to have a mate was placed in your heart for a reason. Don’t feel like it’s a sin to have the desire to be near a person, to want to show love and affection towards a person. Having a desire in your heart is a good thing. God is faithful to give you all your desires.
Psa 37:4 says, Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you your heart's desires. Remember, that this isn’t a one way deal. You first must take delight solely. You must first be happy and content with the love that God has for you before you can truly feel the love of another person.
The next issue to overcome is the two great commandments. First we have to love God completely, fully, and absolutely before He will bring the one He has promised to you. That is the greatest commandment. The second commandment where people fall short in is loving your neighbor as you love yourself. The key here is, “loving yourself”. It is impossible to love your neighbor if you do not love yourself first. If you can’t love your neighbor, how can you love your mate? Ask yourself the questions, “Do you love God more than anything and are you happy living only by His love?” and, “Do you love yourself enough to take proper care of yourself? Do you love yourself enough to be happy living with yourself alone?” Remember that this is the kind of love that God wants us to have for our mates, after all it is written in Eph 5:28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Mat 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. We must keep our focus first and foremost on God. We cannot loose this focus. God will provide all that you desire as long as you keep seeking Heaven first. If we loose our focus on Heaven, all these things will only become distractions in our lives. Even a Godly mate can become an idol quickly.
The next issue God wants us to deal with in our lives is to perfect our love. There is only one source of perfect love and that is God. This love is channeled through Jesus Christ His son. We should Love Him because He loved us first (1st John 4:19). We are called to be like Christ, 1Co 11:1 Be imitators of me, as I also am of Christ. This means that our love should be just like Christ’s, perfect. 1Jo 2:5-6 But whoever keeps His word, truly in him the love of God is perfected. This is how we know we are in Him: the one who says he remains in Him should walk just as He walked. This also tells us that we should be like Christ in love.
This is how we will know perfect love. 1Jo 4:18 There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. God’s love casts away all fear, so should the love we feel from our mate. When we show perfect love to our mate, their fear should be consumed.
1Jo 2:15-16 Do not love the world or the things that belong to the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. Because everything that belongs to the world the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one's lifestyle--is not from the Father, but is from the world. Also in perfect love there should be no lust. If there is even the slightest hint of lust in our love, we should examine ourselves. Perhaps God wants us to get rid of the lust in our hearts before God will deliver our mate to us.
1Co 13:4-8 Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
This is one of the best pictures of what true love is like. If your love has envy or selfishness or any of these issues, perhaps God wants you to get rid of these things to perfect your love. Once you make your love perfect, God will deliver your mate to you.
Next we need to draw out a list for our perfect mate. Be specific, what qualities do you seek in your mate. Write this list down. Pray even now for your future mate. Know that your mate will be delivered to you by God at the appointed time. Pro 19:14 A house and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a sensible wife is from the LORD. Pray for confirmation on who your wife is to be. This is what the servant of Abraham did for Isaac’s wife to be.
Gen 24:11-21 He made the camels kneel beside a well of water outside the town at evening. This was the time when the women went out to draw water. "LORD, God of my master Abraham," he prayed, "grant me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. I am standing here at the spring where the daughters of the men of the town are coming out to draw water. Let the girl to whom I say, 'Please lower your water jug so that I may drink,' and who responds, 'Drink, and I'll water your camels also'--let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. By this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master." Before he had finished speaking, there was Rebekah--daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor--coming with a jug on her shoulder. Now the girl was very beautiful, a young woman who had not known a man intimately. She went down to the spring, filled her jug, and came up. Then the servant ran to meet her and said, "Please let me have a little water from your jug." She replied, "Drink, my lord." She quickly lowered her jug to her hand and gave him a drink. When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, "I'll also draw water for your camels until they have had enough to drink." She quickly emptied her jug into the trough and hurried to the well again to draw water. She drew water for all his camels while the man silently watched her to see whether or not the LORD had made his journey a success.
Notice how this servant prayed a specific prayer for a specific wife for Isaac. This is the same way we should pray for our future mate. God wants us to be specific, in fact so much so that it would be impossible for it to be fulfilled except for God’s hand working. Make your list so specific and stick to it. Pray over your list day and night. Don’t settle for anything less. God will make every one of those on your list fulfilled in your mate.
Remember that your perfect mate should be a believer. Do not get in any relationship with a non-believer. It is warned in 2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship does righteousness have with lawlessness? And what partnership does light have with darkness?
If you would, pray with me. Father God, I pray that you would perfect me completely for my future mate. I pray that You would make my love perfect. Help me to love as Christ loves us. I pray to you that I would be happy and complete in Your love. Father God, You are the Great and Faithful one. Help me to first seek Your Kingdom. Then I know that You will deliver my mate to me. I pray that my mate would have all the qualities that I seek. I pray that You would perfect my mate to be as You are perfecting me. I trust completely in You that when the time is right, You will deliver my perfect mate to me. I pray for a sign of confirmation when the one You have made for me comes that You will give me a sign. In the name of Jesus I pray… Amen