Fortune Cookies and Pearls of Wisdom

My Deep Thoughts

I went through an old journal of mine and picked out some things that I wrote that seemed, to me, like they would make good quotes. I listed some of them here. This hub is more for me than for others, so if you think it sucks...I don't care. Hope you find some that are noteworthy.

I wasn’t born me. I became me.

Wars create jobs, in part, by killing off employees.

There is a gaping moat of shame that awaits the buffoonery of the inept.

Putrid nastiness erupted from my bowels. It was ghastly. Scariest Halloween ever.

It’s smart to start out the day with the awareness that it takes work to be happy.

It’s better to have a great future than a great past....maybe.

I hope to not confuse phobia with intuition or vice-versa.

Praise is the most economical form of reward. It doesn't cost a thing.

Life has no shortage of ways to punish a person for being born.

Can I experience the contentment and, at the same time, push myself to grow?

I assumed that they held all the cards when they didn't and assumed I held none when I did.

Good entrepreneurship may come down to having the balls to risk a lot to make a lot.

Life should be such that one does not regret being born.

Our Existential Obligation can be summed up by the recruitment slogan: “Be all that you can be.”

Although everyone deserves a second chance, few deserve a 3rd and almost none deserve a forth or fifth.

One should make sure to cultivate an attitude that is congruent with ones goals and with circumstances that cannot be changed.

A certain amount of masochism is a good thing. Embracing pain and discomfort and being able to use it to your advantage is a great resource.

Nerdy fun can be the best fun because it is decadent yet safe. You don’t get herpes from nerdy fun, yet you still get that feeling that you're breaking society’s rules.

With advances in technology it was thought that we would acquire vast vast amounts of leisure time, however, we have found instead that the more we can do, the more we will be expected to do. Too many of us feel obliged to fill every spare moment of our day.

With enough of a cynical attitude towards the established order, prison is viewed as a better learning institution than a college for some kids.

Every argument is circular because all knowledge is based on knowledge that is based on something that is assumed to be true.

Laziness is a disease. It’s an affliction that affects the heart, mind and soul. Laziness is a foe that must be fought against every day. Laziness is a thief that steals motivation, energy, and choice.

One must commit to holding themselves to a higher standard of coping even if they must start out with “fake it to make it.”

Why might self hatred be more common in Western culture? According to the bible, we have been a disappointment to God ever since we were created.

Sometimes life just feels like trying to make one's way through a minefield of potential consequences only to arrive at the one consequence of life that is entirely unavoidable.

Why is it that, in our society, the only toys that are acceptable for adults to play with are sex toys?

The worst experiences can be overcome with optimism and a sense of humor and a feeling of connectedness with others.

What if I came up with an idea that enlightened me and made me extremely happy but had no way to put it into words or communicate it in any way to others? It would still be very valuable.

I could live to be 2 hundred years old and still be learning new things about human nature and myself.

One should not be so arrogant as to assume that he cannot learn important things from someone whom he perceives to be less sophisticated.

The moment that I wake up, I must toss all negativity aside and sprint towards happiness and make pre-emptive fortifications against negativity.

The world is like a 3 ring circus in which people are randomly selected from the crowd to be fed to the lions.

One must be able to balance the striving for future achievement with the appreciation of what has already been achieved.

Holding a grudge is like stealing someone’s luggage and carrying it for so long that it hurts you far more than it hurt the person for losing it.


If you are going to use a formula for comedy, that formula cannot be discovered by the audience. The intellectual level of comedy should slightly exceed that of the target audience.

Those who exceed at handling the complex seek to make life more complex so that they will have an advantage over others...like those Wall Street fucks!

I am fortunate enough to live an era in which they have yet to develop technology to read ones mind. I plan to take full advantage of that.

We are bound to suffer any number of indignities on our journey from today to the grave. We cannot expect to ever rise so high that others cannot pelt us with stones or that birds not shit on our heads.

What if an extra-terrestrial came to Earth and, in hopes of exploiting our religious beliefs, pretended to be God? What methods could we use to determine the authenticity of a being that is seemingly as powerful as God?

Some people would prefer to be in denial and proclaim that there is no way to improve their life rather than admit that they were doing things wrong for so many years and could have set things on a better coarse a long time ago.

A child should never be expected to have better self discipline than his/her parent. Or coping skills, anger management skills, communication skills, outlook on life, sense of responsibility, sense of right and wrong, etc...

One thing that I have recently learned is that if the plane is going down, don’t ask myself if I unconsciously want it to crash when, instead, I should be trying to land it or use a parachute. In times of crisis I need to focus on practical, concrete issues and leave the analysis for a later time.

The pursuit of enlightenment should not be the pursuit of never feeling unhappy again. This would be unrealistic and create an intolerance of anything unpleasant. Part of enlightenment is being okay with unpleasantness and accepting it.

Assuming an extreme position of cynicism and pessimism will not shield one from feelings of gullible naiveté. One would do better to become accepting of the possibility of feeling like a duped sucker in his final days, or at any time up until then, rather than burden one’s self with the heavy armor of extreme cynicism every step of the way.

I think it would be good to have a component of one’s self that acts as a jester, joker or clown that always points out the humor in things. Just as we have “the little voice” in the back of our heads that acts as a conscience, we should also have a little voice that acts as a comedian.

We may have a fear of lying on our death beds regretting things we failed to accomplish in life. This fear can cause daily anxiety that prevents us from simply enjoying the present. One thing to truly regret is all the missed opportunities to enjoy the present.

Is good comedy akin to operating at a higher level of consciousness? It involves being in the present and seizing opportunities and creates positive feelings and requires a heightened awareness of how others are thinking or how they will react. If so, then maybe drinking alcohol leads to a higher level of consciousness.

Our own sanity is something we have to keep a hold of all the way up to the end. If at some point, we snap and go postal, we will be remembered as a monster and rightly so. Ninety-nine percent of our lives could be spent well but if we do something fucked up on the way out, we're scumbags. We gotta hold up our standards all the way to the end.

I'm having trouble with the Buddhist assertion that "there is no self." Are they saying that there is no self because it is nebulous and ever changing? If that's the case, then it could be said that clouds don't exist, along with many other things. What are they really trying to say? Is it that they are saying that individuality doesn't exist, because we are all interconnected and interdependent? If so, one could say a car battery doesn't exist because of the same reasons. WTF?

The Great Challenge: Thinking about Victor Frankl's observations during the holocaust and creating meaning from suffering: Maybe being able to cope and find glimmers of happiness despite being subjected to a horrible circumstance is the biggest challenge of all in one's life and should be met with the attitude that it's a challenge that can be won - and the reward is the knowledge of how to cope with something so seemingly insurmountable. Hopefully, the wisdom gained can be taught to others.

I have an idea: I will donate my body to science or a med school so when I die, med students will dissect it for practice. Prior to dying I will get a tattoo that the med students can read before dissecting me. It will read: Hello, I have decided to donate my body so that you all may learn from it's careful dissection. You’re welcome. I ask only one thing in return: Please, may the most beautiful female med student operating on me make love to me one last time? I would appreciate this greatly. Now, don't get smart and get some gay guy to do it. I'm not into that. But if you must, do me this one favor and have him ware a wig and some lipstick so it won't be so bad for me. Thank you, your dead friend, Mike.

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