From Satanist to Salvation
I have turned the cross up right again were it belongs!
PART ONE: A door Opens....
My story begins at the age of seven when I had my first experience with something beyond my understanding, an accidental trip into the unknown. That day, I had been hunting lizards with my best friend in the open fields around my house. This was on the outskirts of San Barnardino in Southern California.
On this day, I was returning home from this “hunting expedition” empty handed. I had a large cardboard box with me I was going to use for the lizards. Since it was empty, I placed the box on top of my head and pretended I was one of the Africans I saw in Tarzan movies. As I started to cross the street, the box blocked my view and I slammed right into a car. It was being driven by a woman who was rushing to hospital for she was about to go into Labor!
The next thing I knew, I was catapulted high into the air by some unseen force. Then, I was soaring over a dead-end street that was near my house. I could see my friends playing out in their yards and I tried to get their attention by waving but they did not see me. Then, it was like something was pulling me back, so I “flew” back to the street were I was hit. This is when I saw myself sitting on the side of the road crying! I remember thinking “I guess I better go back why I still can.”
I tried to tell the Lady who was driving the car about the dream I had, and she said that was impossible, for I was sitting on the curb crying all that time. Way back then, I did not know anything about Out of Body Experience or Astral Projection. I did know one thing; I was going to find out how to do it again for I thought it was cool! Fortunately, I was not seriously hurt and yet, something changed in me that day. A door was opened.
As a child, I had strong imagination and I had to sleep with the closet door closed and my bedroom door ajar. I started “seeing things” on regular basses, but I keep this to my self, for I started to realize that not every body was like me. The next major incident I had was when I was nine and my sister was at the hospital dying from stomach cancer. I was awakened by the feeling that something was watching me. It also seemed there was some kind of electrical current going though the room. I closed my eyes and that is when I saw my sister lying in a coffin with her hands folded on top of her body. I knew then she had passed on even though my parents did not tell me this until the next day.
The older I got the more I came convinced that I did not belong in the world I was growing up in. I had a fascination with nature and animals and studied Taxidermy and other un-cool things like snakes and insects. My mother had become deeply religious and I was force-feed Christianity, (at least that is how I saw it then). I was sent to a privet school made up mainly of rich kids and my family was lower Middle Class (my father was an electrician).
Because I did not fit in, I was picked on constantly. At first, I “turned the other check” like I was taught, but that just made things worst. Then one day I “blacked out” and beat the bully who I was fighting to a pulp! This changed everything, for I gained respect and I was even feared! This was the first time I let the rage I had berried inside me out and I loved it! Rage became my first drug of chose! I also had some learning disabilities that kept me from doing well in school and keep me even more distant from my peers.
My parents became desperate for me to do better in school and sent me to a “continuation” High School that was meant for kids who were “educationally challenged,” or in other words, rejects from the mainstream. This is when I met Robert.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. He was sitting at a picnic table in front of one of the classrooms drawing very sacrilegious pictures mocking the Crucifixion of Jesus. Haft in jest, I asked him if he was a Satanist. He glared at me and stated in a very mater of fact tone. “Yes indeed I am, do you have a problem with that?” I had never met a Satanist before and the concept was stimulating. I found out that he belong to The Church of Satan founded by Anton Sazandor Lavay.
Soon we became close friends and I feel into a dark world I knew nothing about up to that point. This was the perfect religion for me; it gave me an out let for my rage! Not only was it okay to feel rage it was encouraged! Up until that point, I was taught to suppress my emotions like lust, rage, greed and a hunger for power. Now, I was given permission to wallow in sin like a pig wallows in mud! It was great, for a season!
My friend Robert was quite a womanizer and we started forming a Coven or Church, mainly consisting of women. It was life in the fast lane, or actually life on the exit ramp. I just did not know this then, nor did I care! After about six months we met other Satanist and other forms of witchcraft, it became an addiction and all I carried about was how powerful I could become.
It is important to state, that I was not involved in any form of animal or human sacrifice. On the surface anyway, we held the belief that Satan was symbolic. We did not really worship the devil, we just wanted freedom! Little did I know that I was actually a slave. The deeper I got in, the harder it was for me to get out. Life became one big party but all parties eventually end.
After High School, I moved up north and lived on a ranch way out in the boon-docks in Humboldt County. Robert on the other had decided to become a Mortician! We both continued our practice, he formed a good size following and I became a “solitaire,” or lone witch. For three years, we did are own thing. He worked and lived on a Mortuary, I worked on a cattle ranch, and I started growing Marijuana in bulk. When the heat got to hot with the law, I came back to Southern CA. I got back involved with Robert's "church", both of us sharing what we had learned so we could apply it to forming our own brand of Black Magic. He was the Priest and I was his assistant. We thought we would rule the world! We thought wrong!
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