God is making me a JEALOUS woman!

uh-oh Abba, we have a problem... :/
uh-oh Abba, we have a problem... :/

... It's all very understandable really. I can't stand that person, and they clearly don't like me. It was their dislike for me that made me weary of them in the first place...oh no- wait, no it wasn't- it was my envy of them. How could I have forgotten that? I had suffered loss and grief and they had what I had lost. I had seen them enjoying what I no longer had even before I had met them, and already I had hatred for them in my heart. Then I had met them and they were openly unkind to me,,,and I was wounded further. I couldn't believe it. This person had what had wrongfully been denied to me- and they had the gall to disdain me?!


It grew over months and I could see more and more of their distaste for me. I felt injured and degraded. The pain of loss was ever- present and their dislike for me seemed to show enjoyment of this. They looked so proud. So smug. What had I done to deserve this protracted suffering- and why the scoffers?- for there were a few.


Overtime I started to become aware of what they did. I kept seeing all the fun things they enjoyed and the impressive achievements they were making and I grew increasingly jealous. Jealousy burns like an all consuming fire I have learned. It is not satisfied until it has eaten away at it's host and left only ruin and insense. I became so bitter at how much of me the envy had come to possess. I felt like a host and a victim of the parasite I had invited into my soul and could no longer control. It had me. It had all of me. I raged further at the misfortune of being afflicted with this bitterness and jealousy. In hindsight I have became aware that jealousy does not want the object of it's attentions but the subject. It burns with a desire to consume the envier and not the envied. For jealousy you see, cannot hurt the one who is envied as it can only be turned inwards. It can only infest in and feed off of the bitterness of the beholder.


I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired of myself. It got to the point where I didn't want to be with myself or in my own head! can you imagine?? So I set about praying for deliverance from my own jealousy. I began praying also for that persons well being and coming to know God. It was a long and slow process but I have seen fruits of my faith in God's goodness over the past few months. I am now an aquaintance of that person and we share a friend or two in common. Through various circumstances I have came to learn that person has faced some devastating struggles and hardships in life. My love and compassion for them is growing, but it is still never as great as I will it to be. And I am so thankful to God for that- for whoever didn't know the Spirit of God said "I will for greater love and compassion on this person who has hurt me"...?


Indeed, God's grace is good. God's ways are just. God's will is perfect. God's will be done!


When searching for relevant scriptures to encourage our hearts away from jealousy I got far more than I bargained from God. This is the first result I got back in Bible Gateway:


I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. 2 Cor. 11:2


God knows that wasn't what I had in mind. I clicked back to the main page- and then something wonderful happened to me. The eyes of my heart opened up and I was filled with love, compassion, hope and determination!


Yes our God is a jealous God! He has demanded all of our love and devotions for Himself. He does not want His creations to be Children of Wrath (Eph 2:3), but children of His kingdom and heirs to the throne in His precious only Son, Christ Jesus. So then, at the sweet moment of God's revelation it was placed on my heart a pressing need to approach boldly the front line of Spiritual Warfare and demand this lost child in the name of my King!


I am now fiercely jealous of the time I have lost to throw myself entirely into my God and immerse myself entirely in His untameable furnace of jealous love for me. I have an urgent greed for God's attention and fellowship with me. I am filled with righteous outrage to have missed it on so many occasions! I'm completely livid, I want to spit fire on anything or anyone who vies for my attention while I am in this place with my Lord, my God.

My search then turned up this:


And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Eccles 4:4


Dear Father, you are only too right that I have been laboring so long to cover some unseen ground that I seem to have lost long ago. Did it ever exist...?This was so meaningless! The wind changes directions as it pleases- with no allegiance to any one way- how long was I running back and forward for Lord? I have been as foolish as a hamster in a cage chasing the end of the exorcise wheel!!

Heavenly Father, do unto me the will of Soloman you placed upon his heart in his Song of Songs (8:6):


Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy [a] unyielding as the grave. [b]
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame. [c]


Yes Lord, this is my prayer. That you will make me jealous only for you. That you alone will consume me with your Holy blazing fire. I plead with you all to say this prayer in your hearts too and give this blazing fire a home.



Consuming fire- a beautiful soul stiring devotianal song.

Verse 1:

There must be more than this

oh breath of God come breath within

There must be more than this

Spirit of God we wait for you

Fill us anew we pray

Fill us anew we pray



Chorus:

Consuming Fire

Fan into flame

a passion for your name

Spirit of God 

fall in this place

Lord have ur way

Lord have ur way 

with us



Verse 2:

Come like a rushing wind

Fill us with power from on high

Now set the captives free

leave us abandoned to your praise

Lord let your glory fall

Lord let your glory fall

Comments 16 comments

thevoice profile image

thevoice 6 years ago from carthage ill

god loves great hub we just have let god in thanks


gracefaith profile image

gracefaith 6 years ago from United Kingdom Author

Thanks for your encouragement thevoice :)


cjv123 profile image

cjv123 6 years ago from Michigan

Beautiful - absolutely, positively beautiful! Your words - your journey though jealousy - lovely!


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

Great inspirational message-He is certainly using you gracefaith:)


Aiysha17 profile image

Aiysha17 6 years ago from UK

Wow fantastic hub Fi! I have never thought of jealousy in that way before, you really challenge most Christians approach to such a common thing that we as human's face everyday. I really admire your faith dear sister and I hope and pray that God's fire will continue to burn and grow within me also. xx


gracefaith profile image

gracefaith 6 years ago from United Kingdom Author

Thanks cjv123 I am so pleased that the eyes of your heart see the beauty in what God has shared with me and I am so pleased He has brought you here to share it too! Bless you child of the Lord! :)

Hi Itakins. Thank- you for taking the time to read this Hub and I hope this blessing the Lord has bestowed upon you may take root in your heart also. Bless you dear brother.

Hi Aiysha! Thanks for your feedback. I'm really encouraged by your words and your taking the time to read this Hub. I am so thankful to our Father for giving me such a burning desire, and it is also my earnest prayer for you too- thay you may be blessed with this all- consuming passion and know nothing but joy and completion. Bless you sister. Grace and peace to you :) xx


Chaotic Chica profile image

Chaotic Chica 6 years ago

Well done!! Bravo!! You did a fantastic job with this hub!


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Gracefaith, Nicely written Hub. The art work, the music the poem all tied into one beautiful concise package about how we should be jealous for God, and not of others in our lives. Thank you.


torconstantino profile image

torconstantino 6 years ago from Maryland

@gracefaith - outstanding hub! Excellent integration of multi-media to make a profound point!


brotheryochanan profile image

brotheryochanan 6 years ago from BC, canada

God takes us to the end of ourselves as often as we need to be there, to remind us that its Him who puts us where we are and not ourselves, lest any person should boast. The lesson we learn when we are afflicted are often the most solid lessons we never forget and like to metals forged together, we become amalgamated with our new person in christ.

I liked the picture too.. you're a cutie. :0)


Lone Ranger 5 years ago

Dear Grace:

I have been flirting with the possibility of starting my own Hub Page, but I have never got around to it. I was looking through the directory of characters on Hub Pages and your intro caught my eye, not to mention the fact that you seem to possess a certain moral sensuousness that I deeply admire!

Yes, it's true, I think moral, decent, loving, wise, and faithful women are spiritually sexy. Have you ever heard of this condition in a man before? I'm not sure if I need a therapist or perhaps I am on the right track. I'm not sure, but I'll leave that up to you to decide. :o)

Grace, I am thrilled that you have your priorities straight and that you are passionate about The Almighty and His Son, our LORD! What more to life is there than walking closely with them? What else could you do in life that is more important than that? Could there ever be anything in life that is more richly satisfying? If you can think of something, please let me know, and, no, the occasional chocolate binge doesn't count. :0)

Although you may have said, "I'm completely livid, I want to spit fire on anything or anyone who vies for my attention while I am in this place with my Lord, my God".....I just hope that you are not literally willing and able to spew flames of fire and brimstone upon transgessors, but will grant me grace and safe passage as I leave your Hub Page (even though that would be a really cool spiritual gift to see in action).

I am just a traveler passing through and thought I'd stop by and tell you how proud I am of you...unless you're a Mormon or something like that.

By the way, what denomination are you affiliated with or said another way, what type of church do you attend? With your approval I would like to drop by now and then just to see what you are thinking and what you are up to. Best wishes to you and God's speed...unless, of course, you're a Mormon or something like that. :0) - L.R.


gracefaith profile image

gracefaith 5 years ago from United Kingdom Author

Hi Lr, Thanks fore reading my hub and your encouraging feedback. I'm pleased you like my work. Feel free to keep visiting my page :)

ps I'm not a Mormon or something like that.


Lone Ranger 5 years ago

Dear Grace:

I am so thrilled that you aren't a Mormon or something like that, now I can wish you "God's speed" with complete confidence!

May the love of God be with you always. - L.R.


Alaister Simmonds 4 years ago

Some very good points in this article. You have very good things you've said regarding jealousy.

I want to say that, from some of my own personal experience, that even though a lot of people I have felt a dislike for in the past was related to feeling jealous of them and then them acting all smug towards me, I have also had other experiences whereby I felt strong dislike for a person simply cos of their attitude towards me e.g in a shopping mall where someone was serving me, and I didn't feel in any way jealous of that person. There have been times when customer-servers have shown me some really strange (and nasty/rude) pieces of body-language which I felt like I hadn't asked for or deserved! I've experienced that with some bus-drivers too, and I certainly don't have envy towards them - I would never choose to be a bus-driver like them in a million years!

But, whether anger, reage and bitterness are jealousy-related or not, in both cases it's of fundamental importance that we forgive those who have made us feel hurt, rejected and belittled.

You've said several times about being jealous for God. If we do that, then we'll be able to start seeing God's will and His point of view a lot more, which will cause us to feel guilty in our hearts for harbouring bitterness and resentment against those who have deliberately or inadvertently hurt us and will feel convicted to repent of this and to forgive them.

Really good article overall! :)


GetitScene profile image

GetitScene 3 years ago from The High Seas

Excellent.


Rayne123 3 years ago

Great hub, very different and interesting

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