HOW CRYING SAVED MY LIFE
God and Demonology
I feel to begin to tell this story; I need to tell a little about myself, to see where I’m coming from with this revelation and lesson from my life.
As a child I was brought up to never cry, peep or squeal. Crying and moaning was forbidden in my home. My mother always had the saying that she only speaks once, if it came to it that she had to speak again, well she didn’t, she would just grab the closest thing and beat the life out of me. My father was even worse, although he never laid a hand on me; he also never spoke at all. He would just glare at me like he was the devil himself and fear would rush through me. He, on the other hand, always said to my mom, “You beat this child, cause if I must beat her, I will just kill the dam child”. Whenever I would even just start to cry, I would get a beating thrice as hard as the first beating.
So, now, in my twenties, I met God for the very first time. I was so happy to be a Christian and had so much hope in God that all things will be different now. I now had a God who could do all things. I had all my plans all figured out, now I can just pray to my new found God and He will make me the strongest ever, yes, even stronger than I could imagine. The Christians told me that I would get Holy Spirit, and wow, wasn’t that a pleasant idea, now I can blast all those people to smithereens, by His power, who try to tell me what’s hot and what’s not again and who lays a hand on me. Yes, yes, a brilliant strategy.
Ok so now, a year or so into my relationship with God, and all things started to go wrong. Not as I had planed it or even prayed for. For some unexplainable reason I started to cry about everything. I would read the bible and start to cry, I would go to church as happy as a fiddle and within minutes, I will start to cry. Most probably the wind just had to blow and I would start to cry for absolutely no apparent reason.
This worried me constantly. I prayed and prayed till I was blue in the face about this and asked God to make me stronger, He did not listen. Well that is what I though at that time.
Now, about four years into our, now on the rocks, relationship; I stopped with every circumstance that I know would make me cry. I was by this time angry with God, thinking He is not even around anymore. Most Saturday evenings, it would be like I could clearly feel someone standing next to me, and telling me, “tomorrow is Sunday, I want you to go to church,” I would snap back in an instant saying, “no, I cry if I go there, I’m not going. The people look at me like I’m a lost case if I sob continuously for no apparent reason. I’ll rather stay at home where I know I will not fall apart.”
Still in our fourth year together, one night I had a dream. I was standing somewhere where there was no houses to be seen, it was somewhere close to earth but not on earth itself. Holy Spirit descended down from heaven and made His way to me. As He neared me, He said, “I’ve come to teach you!” His mood was serous and to the point. I could feel that God was in heaven at that moment and was looking down on us, but I could not see Him, I just sensed His approval on what was about to happen. A very strong evil spirit also was making his way to us. He was one of the strong ones that I refer to as a ruler. Now Holy Spirit was standing on the one side and the demon on my other side. For some reason I knew that Holy Spirit was there just in case things went wrong, but whatever was about to happen, that was my fight to fight alone. Still confused as to why I was brought here, Holy Spirit suddenly with a sharp command said “Cry!” The demon entered into me, within milliseconds, could I feel him overpowering me and becoming one with me. His evil power radiated through my whole being and usurped me entirely. I felt the most powerful hate and anger emotions taking me captive. No tears. Holy Spirit almost looked nervous, and for a second time with a much louder voice and power thrusting out of His mouth He again commanded me “CRY!”
I tried my utmost best to regain control of my mind and memory from the demon, as it took all my strength. I pulled up the first scene in my memory from my childhood that was painful to remember, no tears. The second scene, no tears. By the time I pulled the third scene in my memory of something horrific that happened, the tears bursted out like a gushing river. I fell down on my knees with uncontrollable sobs, pleading and pleading with God, oh it hurts so much. Holy Spirit looked relieved. I was crying, broken to shattered pieces and He seemed to be relieved.
The demon heard me cry, climbed halfway out of me to see if the tears were real. He looked agitated. He tried to enter me again, but now for some reason the tears and crying was pushing him out with such a tremendous power. For a third time with even more thrust he tried to get back into me, but just could not, and was now not even able to come close to me, much less enter me. He went and stood about six feet away from me. He looked at me with the utmost disgusts as he just stood there staring at me, who am still sobbing on my knees.
He looked directly at Holy Spirit and I still to this very day remember his words and mood like it was yesterday. He said to Holy Spirit with a much angered and frustrated voice, “You have not seen the last of me!” Holy Spirit just stood there not saying a word, but it was the way He looked back at that demon, almost like Holy Spirit was smiling in confidence and saying “yes?, well, then We will deal with you again when the time comes…”
After the demon left and was not in view anymore, then Holy Spirit entered me and said to me with an audible voice from my inside, “now you know, that when you are weak, then you are strong.” He comforted me, and soon the tears were gone, but His message and lesson was planted in me for life.
2Cor 12:9-10 (KJV)
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
PRAYER FOR SALVATION
Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
If you wish to receive this Love of God and be one of His very own children and want to go to heaven for ever; if you wish to be free; if you wish for Jesus to help you with everything in your life; and if you do not belong to Jesus Christ yet, pray the following saying the words out loud:
Lord Jesus Christ, I welcome You as my Lord and Savior. I invite You to come live my heart. I ask and thank You for the forgiveness of all my sins. I ask to teach me about You and Your ways. Thank You Lord that I now belong to the Kingdom of Heaven. I receive You now. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Celebrate, you now belong to the Kingdom of Heaven and are a rightful child of God Himself!!
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