HOW CRYING SAVED MY LIFE

God and Demonology

I feel to begin to tell this story; I need to tell a little about myself, to see where I’m coming from with this revelation and lesson from my life.

As a child I was brought up to never cry, peep or squeal. Crying and moaning was forbidden in my home. My mother always had the saying that she only speaks once, if it came to it that she had to speak again, well she didn’t, she would just grab the closest thing and beat the life out of me. My father was even worse, although he never laid a hand on me; he also never spoke at all. He would just glare at me like he was the devil himself and fear would rush through me. He, on the other hand, always said to my mom, “You beat this child, cause if I must beat her, I will just kill the dam child”. Whenever I would even just start to cry, I would get a beating thrice as hard as the first beating.

So, now, in my twenties, I met God for the very first time. I was so happy to be a Christian and had so much hope in God that all things will be different now. I now had a God who could do all things. I had all my plans all figured out, now I can just pray to my new found God and He will make me the strongest ever, yes, even stronger than I could imagine. The Christians told me that I would get Holy Spirit, and wow, wasn’t that a pleasant idea, now I can blast all those people to smithereens, by His power, who try to tell me what’s hot and what’s not again and who lays a hand on me. Yes, yes, a brilliant strategy.

Ok so now, a year or so into my relationship with God, and all things started to go wrong. Not as I had planed it or even prayed for. For some unexplainable reason I started to cry about everything. I would read the bible and start to cry, I would go to church as happy as a fiddle and within minutes, I will start to cry. Most probably the wind just had to blow and I would start to cry for absolutely no apparent reason.

This worried me constantly. I prayed and prayed till I was blue in the face about this and asked God to make me stronger, He did not listen. Well that is what I though at that time.

Now, about four years into our, now on the rocks, relationship; I stopped with every circumstance that I know would make me cry. I was by this time angry with God, thinking He is not even around anymore. Most Saturday evenings, it would be like I could clearly feel someone standing next to me, and telling me, “tomorrow is Sunday, I want you to go to church,” I would snap back in an instant saying, “no, I cry if I go there, I’m not going. The people look at me like I’m a lost case if I sob continuously for no apparent reason. I’ll rather stay at home where I know I will not fall apart.”

Still in our fourth year together, one night I had a dream. I was standing somewhere where there was no houses to be seen, it was somewhere close to earth but not on earth itself. Holy Spirit descended down from heaven and made His way to me. As He neared me, He said, “I’ve come to teach you!” His mood was serous and to the point. I could feel that God was in heaven at that moment and was looking down on us, but I could not see Him, I just sensed His approval on what was about to happen. A very strong evil spirit also was making his way to us. He was one of the strong ones that I refer to as a ruler. Now Holy Spirit was standing on the one side and the demon on my other side. For some reason I knew that Holy Spirit was there just in case things went wrong, but whatever was about to happen, that was my fight to fight alone. Still confused as to why I was brought here, Holy Spirit suddenly with a sharp command said “Cry!” The demon entered into me, within milliseconds, could I feel him overpowering me and becoming one with me. His evil power radiated through my whole being and usurped me entirely. I felt the most powerful hate and anger emotions taking me captive. No tears. Holy Spirit almost looked nervous, and for a second time with a much louder voice and power thrusting out of His mouth He again commanded me “CRY!”

I tried my utmost best to regain control of my mind and memory from the demon, as it took all my strength. I pulled up the first scene in my memory from my childhood that was painful to remember, no tears. The second scene, no tears. By the time I pulled the third scene in my memory of something horrific that happened, the tears bursted out like a gushing river. I fell down on my knees with uncontrollable sobs, pleading and pleading with God, oh it hurts so much. Holy Spirit looked relieved. I was crying, broken to shattered pieces and He seemed to be relieved.

The demon heard me cry, climbed halfway out of me to see if the tears were real. He looked agitated. He tried to enter me again, but now for some reason the tears and crying was pushing him out with such a tremendous power. For a third time with even more thrust he tried to get back into me, but just could not, and was now not even able to come close to me, much less enter me. He went and stood about six feet away from me. He looked at me with the utmost disgusts as he just stood there staring at me, who am still sobbing on my knees.

He looked directly at Holy Spirit and I still to this very day remember his words and mood like it was yesterday. He said to Holy Spirit with a much angered and frustrated voice, “You have not seen the last of me!” Holy Spirit just stood there not saying a word, but it was the way He looked back at that demon, almost like Holy Spirit was smiling in confidence and saying “yes?, well, then We will deal with you again when the time comes…”

After the demon left and was not in view anymore, then Holy Spirit entered me and said to me with an audible voice from my inside, “now you know, that when you are weak, then you are strong.” He comforted me, and soon the tears were gone, but His message and lesson was planted in me for life.

2Cor 12:9-10 (KJV)
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.



PRAYER FOR SALVATION

Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

If you wish to receive this Love of God and be one of His very own children and want to go to heaven for ever; if you wish to be free; if you wish for Jesus to help you with everything in your life; and if you do not belong to Jesus Christ yet, pray the following saying the words out loud:

Lord Jesus Christ, I welcome You as my Lord and Savior. I invite You to come live my heart. I ask and thank You for the forgiveness of all my sins. I ask to teach me about You and Your ways. Thank You Lord that I now belong to the Kingdom of Heaven. I receive You now. In Jesus Name, Amen.


Celebrate, you now belong to the Kingdom of Heaven and are a rightful child of God Himself!!

More by this Author


Comments 37 comments

Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

Marliza, that was beautiful. It contains so many lessons from God. I always enjoy reading what you have to write...(hug)


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

My first comment...you've just blessed my heart with your beautiful words and warm hug...thank you for dropping by and being my first reader to comment..hug back... :)


Jisblessed profile image

Jisblessed 5 years ago

Marliza, powerful lesson, happy you shared. I heard a doctor say crying is good, it lowers blood pressure and I heard a preacher say that tears are cleansing and demons are expelled through tears. I have a much better understanding of that now. I also agree with Enlydia Listener, there are many lessons from God in your testamony. All who reads will be blest.


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi Jisblessed...so happy to see a new face and meet new friends...so glad you stopped by and that you liked my testimony...many blessing to you and have a Super day!! :)


Unchained Grace profile image

Unchained Grace 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

Marliza, this Hub was all you said it would be and more. When we are forced to bury our weaknesses, we don't give God the opportunity to make us strong. We deprive Him of a chance to show His love. As to your parents? I reserve comment, but they did you no favors and I applaud your final allowance of God in your life.


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 5 years ago from Massachusetts

Hi Marliza Gunter, a very beautifully written hub, i am so happy you have found God's love !


Tamarajo profile image

Tamarajo 5 years ago from Southern Minnesota

I couldn't help but think of this while I read:

Psalm 18:6 In my distress I called upon the LORD,

And cried out to my God;

He heard my voice from His temple,

And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.

7 Then the earth shook and trembled;

The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken,

Because He was angry.

8 Smoke went up from His nostrils,

And devouring fire from His mouth;

Coals were kindled by it.

9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down

With darkness under His feet.

10 And He rode upon a cherub, and flew;

He flew upon the wings of the wind.

11 He made darkness His secret place;

His canopy around Him was dark waters

And thick clouds of the skies.

12 From the brightness before Him,

His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire.

13 The LORD thundered from heaven,

And the Most High uttered His voice,

Hailstones and coals of fire.[a]

14 He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe,

Lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them.

15 Then the channels of the sea were seen,

The foundations of the world were uncovered

At Your rebuke, O LORD,

At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.

16 He sent from above, He took me;

He drew me out of many waters.

17 He delivered me from my strong enemy,

From those who hated me,

For they were too strong for me.

18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity,

But the LORD was my support.

19 He also brought me out into a broad place;

He delivered me because He delighted in me.

God needed you to cry so He could respond.


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

UG..thanks for your comment..yes..I chose the picture especially to show that strong men need to kneel and break in order to conquer the darkness...and God is faithfully at a persons side even when all evidence shows otherwise... :)


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi Kashmir..thanks for visiting...glad to hear you liked it.. :)


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Tamarajo...what a blessing to see you here.. :) it is a very beautiful psalm and does remind me of who God truly is with His loved ones..

"God needed you to cry so He could respond." ..wonderfully said...I never thought about it that way, but now that you mention it..yes..maybe I was too hard and did not respond with a true heart...and by the time it was broken open, I could absorb God's love and got to defeat my demons..two victories for the price of one..

Thanks for visiting..many blessing to you.. :)


Highvoltagewriter profile image

Highvoltagewriter 5 years ago from Savannah GA.

Wow, that was so true...for every time I feel the Holy Spirit I start to cry! God bless you my dear friend!


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Highvoltage...I am so happy to see you here...remember, next time those demons with their anger and frustration bother you, just think of something heartbreaking and fall to your knees..they will run from you so fast as a bullet from a gun... :) God bless you too my friend.. :)


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Marliza: Everytime I think of My dear Brother Jesus being nailed to that cross and the pain and sorrow he suffered on my behalf I cry, I weep. After a few minutes, I hear the song playing in my mind and heart, "It Is Well With My Soul" and instantly, I become filled with tears, but this time tears of joy and happiness.


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Dave, dear brother.. I know what you mean..it also happens to me when I take my guitar and sing for the Lord...I get all emotional till my voice breaks and my tears wet the guitar strings and I have to put away my guitar... If one is truthful in his heart and not filled with self righteousness, religion or some crooked hardened faith, but just with great love and thankfulness for what the Lord did for hopeless sinners like us, then that tears of joy, love and thankfulness just pour forth...

as the scripture say.."oh Lord, forgive me for I am a sinner"

It was good to hear from you Dave..be blessed brother.. :)


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago

Marliza, It is quite unfortunate that you had to experience such intense physical pain and abuse for many years. Crying is a natural expression just like laughter. We need to be able to express both; Even “Jesus wept.” There is a healthy physical release that takes place when not suppressed! I believe your spontaneous crying is the result of not having the freedom to just naturally “ let go!” NOW, The Lord has loosed you and you are no longer bond by erroneous teaching… As the tears flows think of them as The Lord freeing you more and more! HIS Light in you has dispelled the darkness! PRAISE GOD! Your soul emptying out the past pain and allowing you to be filled and renewed by the presence of the Lord’s Holy Spirit! Yes! “in distresses for Christ’s sake for when I am weak, then I am strong.” AMEN! & AMEN!! Great is God’s FAITHFULNESS!

“Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world!” GOD BLESS YOU!

Thank You for sharing, In HIS Love, May His Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings continue to abound in your life!


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Dear Deborrah..I feel I can share this with you...

This hub is a testimony from above to touch the hearts of those who find them in similar situations.

I live among people who shout and swear at tiny children, who denies the children freedom of feeling sad, sick, or even crying.. Even Christians here expect their children to be super strong warriors, but then, the parents will go and cry before the Lord, expect His full understanding and love, but their very own children are denied these privileges..

So also I know that many people who were conditioned as I, did end up with the devil..later in their years they find the Lord and has to be bend like a young tree..but, the tree is in his or her mid years, and everything that they were accustomed to in the valley of Satan is now the total opposite in the Kingdom of God..this is hard for them, to be suddenly touched on the inside, where as they tend to expected that all things would change on the outside.

So too I wish to install an insight to parents that they must nurture and care for their children in the same way that their heavenly Father now restores and heals them and give unto them the freedom of Bondage..

I just felt that I could talk to you.. :)

Many blessing to you my beautiful friend in Christ.. :)


ButterflyWings profile image

ButterflyWings 5 years ago

I had put this hub aside to read "some other time". Well, the Lord put it in front of me again today, and I knew the time had come. It was the message I needed, and I know that, once again, His timing is perfect, even when everything else seems out of whack.


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Dear ButterflyWings.. I am so blessed by your comment and that the Lord touched your heart through this hub.. sending you a hug.. :)


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago

Marliza, Thank You again for sharing, I truly think that children should be allowed to be children. However I also realize that this is not always the case. Interesting observation! The adults can go and cry before the Lord; yet their own children can not cry out to them… Something is wrong here…. They are missing the point!

Being a strong warrior is being in touch with the TRUTH of the Lord’s Word. It warns those who mistreat children that it is better than “a milestone be hung on their neck…” Luke 17. I am sure the children who are in your presence will be allowed freedom of expression with good boundaries... I pray that our Heavenly Father & Lord continue to use you to minister to these children through the compassion He has given you! I believe that you can sincerely be a tremendous help to their parents! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Many Blessings! Thank You & God Bless YOU!


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

DeBorrah..thank you for your prayer..yes..sometimes I need these prayers more than you know..please keep me in your prayers and may the Glory of God manifest everywhere He sends us... sending you love and hugs.. :)


CMCastro profile image

CMCastro 5 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

It is so beautiful- this Testimony. I am like you, too, I cry like a leaky bucket sometimes during church service. I was in a relationship once,that whenever I cried, the person would curse at me and abuse me verbally, and then one day, that person was about to slap me because I was crying, and without moving my lips I was able to pray in tongues of the Holy Spirit, and the man put down his hand, left me and silenced his anger. The Holy Spirit is Powerful, and He is the Lifter of our souls when He comes to help. Amen and Praise the Lord!


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

CM Castro..so wonderful to see you here... :) one of my friends had almost a similar experience, she and her husband got into a fight, he was hitting her and cursed her. She went to the lounge and took her bible, knelt down and cried and prayed. This angered him even the more, he took her bible and slapped her hard against the head with it, she cried even the louder. He bolted his chest and shouted with a loud voice, "For God's sake, just stop crying!"..he then went to sit down at the dining room table. She says she could not believe her eyes, within moments, it was like a calmness came over him and the house, and the real man that she knows came back into him..He apologized to her so tenderly and felt very sorrowful for what he has done...these things that I tell are true, I've seen it happen many many times in my life and the lives of others...

It was really good to have seen you again, much love and hugs and blessings to you.. :)


CMCastro profile image

CMCastro 5 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

The reason we give testimonies is to keep each other strong in His Divine Power. There must be some truth to the "Wailing Wall" that there is in Israel, and the book of Lamentations in the Old Testament has always given me comfort as well. There are always plenty of tissues to go around in our sanctuary when the Anointing of the Holy Spirit comes in. Peace to you Sister! Thank the Lord for you! Christina


heavenbound5511 profile image

heavenbound5511 5 years ago from Under the shadow of the Almighty God!

Awesome testimony!

It can be very uncomfortable to go through some things with God but it is always for our good. God bless you!


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Thank you heavenbound for your visit and wonderful comment...it was good to see you again..many blessings to you too.. :)


sunilsew 5 years ago

Hi Marliza, great inspiration. The lord has been doing some tremendous work in my life. I've been struggling with my walk, its been really difficult to walk on the narrow and sometimes temptation is strong but god has been faithful. Recently my life was slam-dunked, divorce, left work, business failure, no money, no car, no friends, struggling with severe depression and anxiety, really hit rock bottom. But the lord has been carrying me, cos i have been delivered from so much fear, drugs, porn, etc. The holy spirit has been changing me and guiding me to become a better person. Today even though i'm still recovering from it all, i have his strenght, its true wat bible says "those that wait apon the lord will renew their strenght". Thanks again. God bless


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi sunilwew...I am so happy for your sake that you are now walking the road with Jesus, trust me, I've been there, you've made the BEST choice in your whole life, the day you chose to give Jesus a chance to come into your life and show you a much more blessed way to take...stay in there, the road gets rocky from time to time, but you will never be sorry that you kept the faith and pushed forward...so much blessings to you, hug.. :)


emichael profile image

emichael 5 years ago from New Orleans

What a powerful story. Remembering that there is divine strength in our weakness is something I easily forget. Thanks so much for sharing.


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

emichael...you have just blessed me..thank you so much for your comment and honesty...God bless you abundantly!! :)


L.I.N.C profile image

L.I.N.C 5 years ago from Montreal, Canada

Well done. Standing up here and talking about some of the most vulnerable and "pushed under the carpet" emotions we humans need to accept in our lives and experience. Tears are instrumental to the adaptive process in our lives. I suspect these tears helped the adaptive process unfold to parents that would not "invite you in" ( I am presuming here that this is about you and I may be wrong). By that I mean, invite you into their presence, even when you were sad, whining, sniffling or angry. That would in itself invite many tears from a young child. Glad you found your tears, God and the courage to express it to the world !!!

Debbie


Marliza Gunter profile image

Marliza Gunter 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Debbie, thank you for your comment and insight.. now thinking about it, yes, I'm standing up here telling people what most would not like the whole world to know about themselves, but, if I could help someone through my own experiences, then that is my joy and strength to carry on. God bless you! :)


drpastorcarlotta profile image

drpastorcarlotta 5 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

Beautiful, you are a blessing to me!!! What a testimony!!! AMEN! AMEN! Love you!!! Voted-UP! I have missed you!!!


Richard Caudill 4 years ago

I like you cry at the drop of a hat,i think i got saved in 1968 and it is 2012 now. almost all of my sins have been after my salvation and i have cried ever sense knowing what is right but doing always what was wrong.however the last 6 months things have changed. i just did knot know why i was crying so much.Thank GOD for salvation through Jesus.


Alexa 4 years ago

Wow ur story is moving. Thank you soo much for sharing it with us. May He continually keep you in his arms.. Hugs


sydneey profile image

sydneey 4 years ago from Rotherham, South Yorkshire, England

beautiful, stunning! this piece captured my heart, I myself have been going through a really tough time recently and have found that going to church helps to give me the strength to get through. this story made a real connection in me. I will embrace the worrds 'for when I am weak, I am strong' Thank you so much for sharing


A K Turner profile image

A K Turner 4 years ago from West Yorkshire

this is my first time jumping through these testimonies and what a great one to start with, thank you so much for sharing!!!! If you are wrestling with the old testament, (i know I was, then I recommend this article I wrote really helps bring the whole thing to life) http://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Be-sceptic...


joytruthlove profile image

joytruthlove 4 years ago

wonderful

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working