How to Overcome Disappointment
Dealing with disappointment
Disappointments in life are not always the result of what happened, but also of what has not happened. Expectation without receiving what is expected can lead to inappropriate behavior that stems from emotional hurt. We all know of the parent who becomes disappointed because of what a child has or has not done.
For example a parent may have dreams for their child to become a Lawyer or Doctor only to see them live off of their girlfriend and hang out in the streets. Even though this may hurt emotionally for the parent, a change in mindset must happen for them to remain committed to the child or all may be lost for the relationship. By being committed I mean continue to show love in spite of the disappointment. Love always draws relationship closer while condemnation or condemning a person divides and separates the relationship.
· Check your motives:
Motives are the true reasons why for something because it comes from the heart. For example God looks at the reason why we do a thing or ask for a thing and if the motives are not pure it becomes displeasing to him. James 4:2-3 declares we have not because we ask not, ye ask and receive not because ye ask amiss (That ye may consume it upon your lust) = wrong motives. Disappointment because of unanswered prayer can be a direct result of wrong motives.
·Stop expecting something from someone that they cannot deliver
It would be nice if everyone were the same, but there would be no variety and creativity. Because people are different, things are not viewed the same or carried out in the same manner. Many become disappointed because others do not see things the way they see them. Haven’t you ever heard if I were you I would do it this way?
Or some simply take over. This mindset can happen when a person forgets that everyone is different and do not have the same ability to deliver. Matthew 25 declares that The Lord gave 5 talents to one person and to another 2 talents and to another one talent but according to their several abilities. Disappointments would happen if the person with the ability to handle 1 would try to handle 5 and the person with the ability to handle 5 would become slothful and only handle 2. One should know a person well enough to know what they can handle and what they cannot, and by paying attention to this principle disappointments can be avoided.
Stop expecting God to do things your way
There is a vast difference between faith, which calls those things which be not as though they were and selfishness which always wants things its way. Mary and Martha became disappointed with Jesus in John 11 when he did not come to heal Lazarus their brother at the time that they sent for him. In fact Jesus stayed where he was for two more days until Lazarus died. ( A big disappointment!) When Jesus finally did come, Martha and Mary voiced their disappointment to him by saying Lord if you would have been here our brother would not have died! In other words they were blaming Jesus.
Disappointment has a way of blaming others causing guilt to happen… and guilt always separates. Jesus knew that by doing things his Fathers way, he would disappoint Mary and Martha who wanted things done their way. This truth shows that not everyone will be happy when a person walks in obedience to God and his will for their life.
It was the will of God for Jesus to abide two days where he was until Lazarus died so that Mary and Martha as well as the other people could see God’s miracle power do something that was never done. People had seen or heard of the dead being raised by Jesus, but for one to be dead four days and raised was totally unheard of! Could it be that disappointments we face in life are simply stepping stones for God to reveal greater things not witnessed or seen before in our lives? The greater disappointments of life may lead to the greater blessings of God.
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