What I Really Want

The Struggle

I am constantly torn between being the "good girl" that I know I should be and "rebellious girl" that just wants to do whatever she feels like. I am forever trying to please everyone, while never really pleasing myself. Sometimes I feel like a caged animal, not really living.

What I Really Want

What I really want for my life is to be a writer, a serious writer. I need to be a writer. I have so much to say, so much I need to get out of my head! I want to help others. I want to entertain others. Life's too short to keep living inside my box.

I want to live a life of freedom, a life of contentment. I want to live the life I want, without having to worry about pleasing anyone, except God and my family. I want to feel fulfilled. I'm tired of smiling and saying everything is fine when I feel like I am dying on the inside.

I have to find a way to live. I have to get out of the box that has become a prison. I have to stop hiding inside myself. I have to start being me and stop pretending for the sake of others.

What I Don't Want

My day job, oh my day job, I so want to quit my day job! I don't want to spend my time wishing time away anymore. I don't want to spend everyday wishing that it was Friday. I want to be able to get outside of myself and feel like I am doing something productive.

Just Do It

So, I am going to write. I am going to write until I feel empty. I'm going to submit stories, poems, whatever, hoping to get paid for my passion. I'm not going to give up or get distracted by the television. I want to live the life I love and love the life I live.

God is going to be my guide. He and I together can do anything. I just have to begin and keep my trust in Him. Never giving up, never giving in, I will stop listening to the voices of negativity, no matter where they come from.

I'm in control of me!

Comments 1 comment

patty 7 years ago

I love your writing! It kept me intrigued and captivated and I wanted more when you were done....

Get on blogger - it's free...write every day and we will read. Get a following and then even write a book. You're good...you really are...

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article