Dreams and Nightmares

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Lucid Dreams

I don't know much about dreams or what they mean but I do know that I have some weird dreams and it's not sometimes; it's all the time. I know that lucid dreams are dreams that you have when you know that you are dreaming, kind of aware of what's going on. Basically I am ignorant to anything else about dreams. But my problem is I am an incurable insomniac, and have been ever since I can remember. I have been through therapy after therapy sessions about this and they always have the same outcome. Give me some advice, some prescription and I leave. Nothing ever changes and I am never cured, but that is not what this hub is about. This hub is about the strange dreams that I have when I do fall asleep and how they scare the living daylights out of me.

I always dream of falling and flying

One of the many dreams that I have whenever I do fall asleep is of myself falling. I have a general fear of heights, and maybe that is why I dream this but there has to be more of a deeper rooted meaning to this dream. Once I dreamed that I was on top of the Empire State Building, at the very tip trying to hold on. My palms get sweaty just thinking about this dream because I remember the fear I felt in my dream of trying to hold on. I have heard people say that if you see yourself fall in your dream that you will die when you hit the ground. I don't believe this because I have hit the ground on more than one occasion. But mostly it is just trying to hold on. The fear of falling is just so overwhelming to me.

I saw a Twilight Zone episode one time of a man who wouldn't fall asleep because he felt that he would die if he did. I kind of feel like he does because I do not want to dream anymore, and that is why I hate to fall asleep. If I fall asleep I want to be so totally knocked out that I don't even want to think or dream about anything. But that never happens to me. No matter how tired I am or what sleeping pill I take, I always fall asleep and I always have weird dreams, the same weird dreams.

There is another dream I have and it is of me flying. Sometimes its a great flying dream where I can see myself flying over the ocean, and beautiful landscapes, and I am having a great time. But most of the time it is of me flying and being scared to death of where I am going. In my dream I cannot distinguish if I am falling or flying. I have had this dream since I was a kid and I always wake up shaken up by it. I wish I knew what it meant.

The worst one

The worst dream that I have ever had, I guess you could call it a nightmare; is one that I still have. I have had this dream for over 23 years now, not everynight but at least every few weeks and it haunts me still.

When I was pregnant with my daughter who happens to be 23, I started having this dream about her. I was about 8 months pregnant when I had the dream and I knew by then that it was a girl. My dream was of me going into labor, going to the hospital, screaming in pain. I open my eyes to a huge light above me and I can hear the doctors telling me to push. My daughter is then born and they say that she is dead. I don't get to see her or touch her or hold her, just like that she is gone, and I wake up. That is the dream and I still have it to this day. My daughter is grown and healthy, but I still have this dream. Maybe it is that my daughter is elusive and doesn't communicate with me well. I don't know, but I always wake up to feel the need to talk to her, to hold her, and tell her how much I love her. I said she is elusive because ever since she was little, I could not hold onto her long enough ever, she was always ready to go somewhere, out the door to play, later on as she got older she was always out with her friends. She always pulls away first when I hug her, I don't know, maybe I am reading too much into this. Now she is at Univeristy and majoring in English and I don't get to see her very much. Maybe I just miss her too much, but why does that dream follow me around so much? Why for 23 years and counting? I guess it is a question that doesn't have an answer.

By now after a few of my hubs people out there must be thinking that I am this weird crazy person that has had some shit happen to them, and for the most part that is true, but aside from my bad experiences and hard roads the ones that I have taken have been lovely. And I make beautiful babies.

 Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

By Langston Hughes

© 2010 ladyjane1

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Comments 27 comments

hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

I believe you don't wake up refreshed and suffer from insomnia, if you have these nightmares it's quite a defense from them probably. There are many theories about dreams, some more good than others, but at the moment there isn't a clear cut explanation. Yes they are used by our mind to process what happens to us during the day, but for me there is a lot more. Who knows where we go when we dream? And if the real life is when we dream instead of when we think we are awake? And if during dreams our soul flies around free in other dimensions?

There are many open questions on dreams. I'm sure that they process anxieties that arose during the day and they make a kind of defrag of our mind. Other than that they are a subconscious' business, so usually out of our control.

Might it be of help to repeat yourself some times before going to sleep a suggestion like "I can control my dreams and have positive outcomes from them"? It would work better though if in the morning you add the Self Hypnosis Induction.

And obviously if it works, I know it will, let me know. :)


amillar profile image

amillar 6 years ago from Scotland, UK

These dreams are spooky ladyjane1, but, as you say, you do make beautiful babies.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Hello again hypnodude thanks for your evaluation. You know when I do dream of myself flying I wonder sometimes if that could be an out of body experience, that makes sense, who knows. But I am definitely going to try the affirmations. I will let you know how it goes. Thank you.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

thanx Amillar :)


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

And btw those recurring dreams could be due to some messages that your subconscious wants to give you. You could try, before going to sleep, to tell "him" that you don't understand the message and if "he" can change it so you can understand what "he" wants to say. After a while it should work. Or you could try something like "if your message is .... then make me dream a white flag so I know I understood the message".

Hope it helps.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you hypnodude for thinking about me and for your advice. I will definitely try your suggestions. I appreciate ya.


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

I used to dream, the dreams were quite disturbing, for me they were reliving past experiences. For 15 some odd years. I found peace in prayer and I have not had a dream that I can remember in 20 years. I know I dream but when they jolt me awake my thoughts are blank and I have no idea of what woke me. I then just go back to sleep.

Ever thought of taking sky diving lessons and experiencing the fall with an instructor controlling when the shoot opens and helping you to float to the ground? They now days do a doubled up jump with the student sharing a chute with the instructor and it is a controlled jump. If you find the falling to be a safe and fun feeling you might erase the fear of height and falling all at once. I used to find great fun in doing free falls from 25,000 feet, a height that requires oxygen bottles to perform, now I'm just too old but would jump again given the chance.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Wow Caliber I cannot imagine jumping from those heights and I am impressed that you could. Maybe it would help maybe it wouldn't or maybe it would make it worse, but whose to say. I appreciate however you taking the time to read my hub and leaving your suggestions, it is very much appreciated. Thank you.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, Ladyjane,yes you and me both! I have had some weird dreams over the years, and also suffer insomnia. I, Like hypno, do self hypnosis and mantras. One of these days i will write about my dreams, but what I wanted to say was, I think the dreams are metaphorical. in other words , the dream about flying and looking down, being scared is most likely that you aspire to do as well as you can in life, trying to reach great heights, but when you get near the top you get terrified and feel like you will fall flat on your face. You are just holding onto the achievements by the tips of your fingers. Maybe instead of trying to get to the top, change your job or hobby, reach for a lower set of ideals and just do something you enjoy. The one about your baby, was probably very much on your mind when you were pregnant, and as you say, when your daughter slips away from you mentally, it brings back the residue memory. I am interested in dreams and read a few books about it. but sometimes only you can interpret it for yourself in your own life. don't think of them literally just as a symbol. hope this makes sense. cheers Nell


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Hi Nell thanks for stopping by I appreciate your thoughts. It really does makes sense what you said maybe I do aspire too much and always want things to happen quickly and when they don't I think Im a failure. Thanks for the encouragement.


Sa Toya profile image

Sa Toya 6 years ago from England

Must admit I love your hubs...you probably know this already.

I'm right here with you!

I have weird ones alot.I don't know much about dreams but I have a few where I swear that I'm right then and there doing it.

Just last night I opened my eyes and there was a vacuum next to my bed. It was a hoover a tall one and we don't have one like it. I guess it was a dream...not sure

I have recurring dreams as well and dreams that often happen weeks/months later exactly like in my dreams- weirded out deja vu.

I've had experiences where I felt something choking/strangling me in my dream and I'd feel myself suffocating I open my eyes, see my room and scream as hard as I can so hard my ears ring but my parents don't come to rescue me. I say a prayer, it stops and I go back to sleep...well if I manage to, usually too scared. This hasn't happened since 2007 I think.

You may inspire many hubs on dreams I think. Hope you figure it out and crack down on your dreams.

:D


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Hi Sa Toya thanks for stopping by. I like your hubs as well and Im sorry that you have trouble with dreams also, they are the worst. I always wake up tired and a feeling that I havent slept at all. I don't know if I will ever find the answer to my dreams but we can only hope. Thanks again.


Ken R. Abell profile image

Ken R. Abell 6 years ago from ON THE ROAD

Very enjoyable/disturbing Hub. Thought-provoking & well written. I have went through periods in life when I was blitzed by bad reoccurring dreams, so I can relate. I also am an uncurable insomniac & it gets worse the older I get, but I've learned to adapt to it.

I have no particular insight or understanding to the meaning of dreams. Thank you for sharing from your heart. Peace, blessings & much encouragement to you.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Yes yes that insomniac thing that is why I am still up at 4:22 in the A.M. central time. when I should be asleep, lol. Thanks for reading my hub and I appreciate your feedback. Blessings to you as well.


That's what I say 6 years ago

Lots of good points from Nell Rose & hypnodude. I get asked often by people what their dreams mean. Most dreams are personal. The things in them represent things of your life or surroundings. When you are remembering your dreams focus on your emotions you feel as things are happening. It can help give you a more clear picture of things. Good luck.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

TWIS thank you for stopping by. Dreams are definitely strange arent they? Sometimes they have no rhyme or reason but who's to say. I try not to think about them too much or to worry before I go to sleep. Thanks for your advice.


Nelsen profile image

Nelsen 6 years ago from Tropical Waterfall

Very insightful hub! By the way, its 3:31 EST and I am reading your hubs.

The babies are keeping me awake. Otherwise, I would be in bed, sleeping!

What helps me get to bed is to snuggle up to a book or listen to classical music on the radio, if there is a lot on my mind. Going to bed angry is no fun, however, saying a quick, "Hail Mary" tends to calm me a bit.

Ironically, I do have very vivid dreams and had a dream last night about falling/flying.( I never fall to my death in my dreams, mostly I find myself in a game or on a quest to finish some sort of puzzle. ) The one last night was wierd, I would find myself high up in the air and have to find a soft landing. The landing was never soft, so I had to pick myself up and try again. Repeatedly.

I interpret it as trying to find control in my life and finding the right outcome.

I hope you find a solution to your sleeplessness and of course we make cute babies! Tell my hubby I want more of them!

Your daughter sounds like me, however, since she is an English major, she must be good with language and communication. Let her come back on her own, you would be the first person she asks for advice. (I have a fortune cookie slip on my fridge that for the best advice, ask your mother.)


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks for you insight Nelson I appreciate it. yeah I have always been an nightowl as they call me. Lately my husband calls me a vampire because I love to read about them.lol I have my days where I cannot sleep for days and days because my mind will not let me. THen I will sleep and sleep for a couple days, its wierd. I have gotten so used to these dreams that they don't even bother me anymore and i wonder if I will ever get a solution. Thanks for responding.


MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

The sandman is a bit of a sadist, he likes to see your dreams and nightmares turn the sand that he puts into the corners of your eyes, become crystal tears. Stick to savoring your daydreams, they are usually warm and lovely, and perhaps tone down your night sweats with a bit of melatonim. great write!~~~~MFB III


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

MFB thanks for reading you always seem to see the positive in my worst experiences. I appreciate that. Thank you.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

your hubs are like dreams - I just don't want to wake up and go back to reality!

also you I read you saw the ballet in Russia - you are my hero and yes I simply adore the ballet - not unlike your eclectic choice of hubmaking!


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

epigramman thanks for reading this. My insomnia hasnt gotten any better and I force myself to take a pill now and then but I still have these weird dreams, just not as often and thanks for the compliment. And the ballet in Russia was magnificent. We also got to see an operetta and it was great as well, nothing like going to the theatre, everyone wearing their best clothes. I had never done that before, Im from a little town in Texas and it was awesome. Thanks again. Cheers.


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines

I do have dreams and nightmares, too. My Mom would tell me her interpretation- that if you dream of flying, many around you are envious of you. Doesn't make sense, I'm just a plain me. I love this hub.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

lita thank you, you are very kind. I doubt that people are envious of me either. I have pretty much given up on finding an answer but at least I don't have too many bad dreams anymore. Thanks for reading. Cheers.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Hey LadyJ! I've had some crazy dreams in my time. A year or so ago I had a dream like never before. I could almost say vividly in color. It was so real. We were throwing a Frisbee on top of a mountain. My friend jumped off the mountain down onto a ledge that broke off. Now he was falling with this rock under him and he was playing the "air-guitar" while free falling. Just before that "abrupt halt" at the bottom- he jumped off- unhurt! I wrote that one down!


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas Author

That is a crazy dream Micky its weird where our subconscious mind wanders to when we sleep. Its really fascinating when you think about it. Thanks for sharing. Cheers.


fancifulashley profile image

fancifulashley 5 years ago

I know how you feel ladyjane1. I am reaching the point where I would rather take quick 30 minute-1 hour naps to avoid the onslaught of nightmares that occur during the night. I am slowly developing insomnia because I do not want to sleep. I have had nightmares ever since I can remember. My mother has told me I have had them almost since I was born. I have wanted to look into sleep clinics to see what is going on inside my head when I sleep, but at the moment I cannot due to school. It causes problems since I never get night of rest.

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